Trans Musings & Rantings

[PixleyDust✨]

Okay, CW: possible transphobia.

 

Found this on my newsfeed on FB, and everyone seems to find it overwhelmingly hilarious. I defended that it wasn’t, and that it was actually pretty transphobic only to get someone calling me out on having a victim mentality. Note: the person who posted it is completely cisgender as well as the people defending it, as far as I know. Guess what I’m wondering was if I was right in calling it out, or if I really was overreacting. 

 

Or maybe the reassurance that people cannot honestly be this dense in defending it. That this is just a small portion of the population, right? 😰

 

Putting it in a spoiler, so you can open it at your own risk:

 

Spoiler

 

Here’s how the controversy went down after I saw this. We’ll call the person defending it Mr. X, and anyone they reference as [blank].

 

Me: Okay, maybe this isn’t the wisest thing to post. I mean, even if I wasn’t transgender, I still would feel the need to gently remind everybody that these kinds of jokes can cut deep for some people. 

Especially at “Transgenders”. No one in the trans community calls themselves that. Very weird, hurtful, kind of ostracizing, transphobic thing. Just, you know, avoid it. It’s icky. 😬

 

Mr. X: People, people... Relax. There are exactly two things in this world you are in control of, anything else is merely the illusion of control. 
All you have is input, and output. Your input is simply how you translate someone else's output. If you see them as offensive, they'll offend you. If you see them as light hearted and just poking fun, then you can align your output to be the same. That brings us to your output. As [blank] pointed out... Some people are so victimized by life that their output has been permanently aligned to being offended by anything different, or that opposes their own views. What this group of people refuses to accept is that they are JUST AS MUCH the problem as the opposers. Picture the world as a scale, if you will. On one side you have those that are always offended, always scared. The recluses, the activists, the criers. On the other side you have the offenders. Those that have no emotion, no tact, no care, don't mind stepping on others for personal gain. Input, and output. That's it. Where you put yourself on this scale is completely up to you. If you play the victim, and you're always offended, then you will always BE a victim. Your output to others is telling THEIR input to be gentle, or be gone. This mentality has little to no chance to make progression in society, unless society conforms to it. More and more people in the world are tipping the scales to the victim mentality, sending back society to focusing on only protecting itself from itself. This has caused all too many people to fear change, and anything that is different from them. Those that refuse to be a victim, get ostracized as being bullies. Those that play the victim are quick to judge others as the bully. Sometimes it truly comes down to perception. If you see a joke as bullying, then you will at like a victim. If you see a joke as a joke, you may not accept its content, but at least you can move past it.
Input and output. Your perception of others' input and output.
Nothing more, nothing less.

 

Me: People feeling hurt over something hurtful is not equivalent to making hurtful comments / jokes without thinking. You might not know it, but your argument is like the toxic offspring of gaslighting and victim-blaming. All jokes ring with certain truths, that’s what makes the best jokes so funny, and the worst ones so devastating. Joke responsibly.

#queerisnotapunchline
#itsokaytofeelhurt
#itsnotokaytohurtfeelings
#apologizeandmoveon

 

Me: If you want to talk about poking fun, poke fun at transphobia, not the trans community. The former deserves ridicule, the latter does not.

 

Mr. X: For the record... I'm not at fault here for poking fun anywhere... I'm just sick and tired of the rampant victim mentality this world is puking out right now.
I grew up as an abused child, where my adults were always too drunk to raise my siblings and I. When the drinking began, the abuse came with it. If I would have allowed this to make me a victim, I'd feel much the same way. Yeah, words hurt. I get it... But again, it comes down to input and output, and most of all translation. A person with strong constitution will rise up above the slander/hate/bigotry/etc and use that as fuel to be a better person. In most cases, they are actually better off than the offender, they just don't realize/believe/accept it. I’m one of the first people that will ever jump in to help defend someone that can't defend themselves. Maybe it's cuz of how I was brought up, and nobody ever stood up for me... Maybe it's cuz I'm just a good natured person, who understands the difference between living and merely existing. For you to single out the "trans community" as being victimized, well sure... It is... Along with EVERY other group in the world. It's a sad truth, but true nonetheless. Not all jokes are made behind a state of phobia... Some truly are just jokes. For you to relate a careless meme to a phobia just screams victim mentality... I'm sorry you've had to go thru whatever hardships in life that has brought you to that thought track; but, someone posting a simple meme that THEY thought was humorous does NOT require everyone else to find it humorous as well. Hell, I've been working on cars for over 20 years. I find this meme hilarious as fuck! Not cuz of the jab to the "trans community", but because I can relate to the check engine light symbol all too well! I'm just mature enough to ignore the "trans community" reference, and fill in any other non-offensive group there that I can see fit. If more people thought that way, more people would setup dividing themselves off from the rest of the world, and communities as a whole would start to heal. Just some food for thought.

 

Mr. X: And, if you think I owe anyone an apology here, you REALLY need to think that thru again. My output is clear and concise, but it is NOT catered to YOUR input.

 

Me: Dude. THAT’S EXACTLY MY POINT. You can ignore the “trans jab” because YOU’RE. NOT. TRANS. To you, it’s a joke. To other people, it’s a reality. And just because it’s not YOUR reality, doesn’t mean it isn’t valid. Your trauma is your trauma, no one is saying yours is lesser, so why are you minimizing the hurt of others because they don’t deal with it the way you do? We should be uplifting each other, not competing in some bizarre, toxic pain olympics where we essentially tell each other to just grow a thicker skin because their trauma is not as bad as our trauma. And don’t essentially tell people to conform to your sense of humor, there’s a lot of privilege in be able to see this as just a joke, and it breaks my heart that you think it’s ever the victim’s fault for being a victim, rather than the fault of the people victimizing them. Someone truly awful definitely bullshitted you on that big time. Now, I’m not accusing anybody of being a bad person, I never was, all I was saying that a joke like this does more harm than good because the only people that can relate to it are the ones OUTSIDE the punchline, and just further serves to alienate the people INSIDE it. Do you get it? Do you get it now? Do you see the problem? It’s easy to laugh at jokes where YOU are NOT the punchline. Be an ally. Don’t deny the hurt of others, defend it as if it were you own. ❤️

 

—END OF SPOILER—

 

Honestly, it makes my head want to IMPLODE. Really, there are just parts to this person’s argument that make me go, “Wait...wut.”

 

But at the same time, call it Social Anxiety, call it paranoia, or good old embarrassment, but I’m seriously starting to question if calling it out was the right thing to do. Is this meme as tasteless as I think it is, or was I overreacting? I’d like to think it was the right move, but then again, no one’s good at judging themselves objectively.

 

UGH. I’m already not super confident in normal, low-key social situations, let alone gray area, potentially controversial situations like these. 😬

[PixleyDust✨]

9 hours ago, Taylor Lilith said:

On the name front, over a year ago, I had to call Century Link and dialed one number wrong. I'm guessing they scraped my number because the spam calls/texts started soon after. It was a minor annoyance before I changed my name and before I realized ace. Now I get,

 

"Hey [deadname], I'm a woman looking for a man and a night of fun."

 

From a number in the middle of like....Tennessee. They are all like exactly the same text too. 

 

So

 

Misgendered, deadnamed, and...I am not allo. All because I misdialed when calling my ISP. 

 

TT_TT

Oh my god, I get texts like that from spam bots ALL THE TIME. Usually something along the lines of:

 

”Hey there. My name is [Misspelled Girl’s Name]. Do you want to fool around while I’m in town? Cuz I’m looking for a REAL MAN to spank me/f**k me/etc. and I’m lonely.” 😘

 

Being non-binary with ALL THE GENDER FEELS, including male, they were...kind of right, I guess? But it’s like, I don’t think I’m what you’re looking for. Plus ace, sooo...😅

 

I ended up replying to one before, saying something like, “Yeah, sorry I’m not into bots.”

 

I think I hurt her feelings though, because she never responded. 🤣

[Iota Tau]

@Pixley Yes, calling that guy out was the right thing to do. At least this way, someone has called him out on his bullsh*t, even if he doesn't learn from this. People need to be told when they're being an idiot, even if that doesn't change them at all.

He did something that offended you, you have a right to speak up for yourself, even if the a-hole doesn't recognise that. Please don't give in to his victim-blaming mentality (and do your best to get him out of his, though if that isn't possible, you may have to remove him from your friends-circle).

[Taylor Lilith]

Wait a minute...wait a minute....did they just say, "I help people who can't help themselves." and then defend a blatantly transphobic comment....like the trans community...that is so small it needs allies to push for change?

 

Seriously?

 

It's not offensive because I'm subbing out transgender for a not hurting minority....but I'm not the minority?

 

JFC

 

We're just two things?  WTF dude that's more simplistic than the simple science argument. 

 

I heard a transphobic joke the other day PAIRED with someone saying the f-slur because they would never use it. 

 

You. Just. Fucking. Used it, dude. 

[Ms. Carolynne]

@Pixley Mr. X sounds like a self centered hypocrite.

 

He seems to think he's a victim because others were offended by a tasteless joke, yet complains about people playing victim. He's offended that you were offended.

 

There does seem to be some gas lighting and backpedaling going on as well. Like, really, it's funny just because it shows a check engine light? Are you really this basic?

 

Honestly, I think this guy's lecture was more offensive.

[PixleyDust✨]

THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH, I LOVE YOU ALL. ❤️

 

And what's better, he didn't even make the original post. He was defending the OP, even though I wasn't even calling them out. I was politely letting them know, "Hey, this joke is kind of in poor taste, maybe don't make it. Like, maybe you didn't know it was offensive, and you seem like you would never intentionally make an offensive joke like this, that's why I'm letting you know. Cause I'd want someone to let me know, I'd be mortified if it turned out something I said/posted/etc. actually had a deeper, toxic subtext than I was aware of."

Here's a little more if you dare to read on, cause he continued to respond to me:

 

Spoiler

Mr. X: Well, first off... Victim mentality is a lot different than victim blaming. I'm in no way blaming anyone on the receiving end for being offended. I'm simply saying, it's within EVERY individual to tune their output to fit their desired intake. Heard of the philosophy "you'll attract what you send out"? It basically boils down to attracting bullies simply by being easy to bully. It isn't right, fair, or moral... But it's spot on. I'm the butt end of jokes every damn day of my life. The difference is, whether it be thick skin or not, I CHOOSE to rise above the anger/fear/sadness/aggression and align my output to accepting the joke... If I don't believe it to be true, why should I let it offend me? Perception. Input, output. You're right tho, I'm not trans. I'm very secure in my masculinity, and show absolutely no wavering to that effect. But don't think for a second that I can't relate... I'm white, thin, bald, with bad teeth, bad knees, tendonitis, getting old, average looking with little benefit to my name... Except my mind. There are countless jokes one could throw at any of those statuses... And they do... And I laugh it off, or return fire.

Mr. X: Let me also say tho... Thank you for following your convictions, and standing up to my opinion that varies from yours. I respect that, and in turn respect you for it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Quote that says it all: "You're right tho, I'm not trans. But don't think for a second I CAN'T RELATE."

YO.

You LITERALLY just explained why you CAN'T RELATE. 

I feel like I'm trapped in an episode of South Park, right now. Like seriously, WTF IS HAPPENING? WHAT IS LOGIC? WHAT IS LIFE? 

"Tendonitis, trans, same thing. Point: RISE ABOVE IT."

There's just...SO MANY THINGS TO UNPACK. BUT I CAN'T.

THE ABSURDITY.

IT'S...IT'S TOO MUCH. OVER...LOAD. CAN'T...TYPE...MUCH LONGER. XD
 

[nerdperson777]

6 hours ago, Pixley said:

Or maybe the reassurance that people cannot honestly be this dense in defending it. That this is just a small portion of the population, right? 😰

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

Here’s how the controversy went down after I saw this. We’ll call the person defending it Mr. X, and anyone they reference as [blank].

 

Me: Okay, maybe this isn’t the wisest thing to post. I mean, even if I wasn’t transgender, I still would feel the need to gently remind everybody that these kinds of jokes can cut deep for some people. 

Especially at “Transgenders”. No one in the trans community calls themselves that. Very weird, hurtful, kind of ostracizing, transphobic thing. Just, you know, avoid it. It’s icky. 😬

 

Mr. X: People, people... Relax. There are exactly two things in this world you are in control of, anything else is merely the illusion of control. 
All you have is input, and output. Your input is simply how you translate someone else's output. If you see them as offensive, they'll offend you. If you see them as light hearted and just poking fun, then you can align your output to be the same. That brings us to your output. As [blank] pointed out... Some people are so victimized by life that their output has been permanently aligned to being offended by anything different, or that opposes their own views. What this group of people refuses to accept is that they are JUST AS MUCH the problem as the opposers. Picture the world as a scale, if you will. On one side you have those that are always offended, always scared. The recluses, the activists, the criers. On the other side you have the offenders. Those that have no emotion, no tact, no care, don't mind stepping on others for personal gain. Input, and output. That's it. Where you put yourself on this scale is completely up to you. If you play the victim, and you're always offended, then you will always BE a victim. Your output to others is telling THEIR input to be gentle, or be gone. This mentality has little to no chance to make progression in society, unless society conforms to it. More and more people in the world are tipping the scales to the victim mentality, sending back society to focusing on only protecting itself from itself. This has caused all too many people to fear change, and anything that is different from them. Those that refuse to be a victim, get ostracized as being bullies. Those that play the victim are quick to judge others as the bully. Sometimes it truly comes down to perception. If you see a joke as bullying, then you will at like a victim. If you see a joke as a joke, you may not accept its content, but at least you can move past it.
Input and output. Your perception of others' input and output.
Nothing more, nothing less.

 

Me: People feeling hurt over something hurtful is not equivalent to making hurtful comments / jokes without thinking. You might not know it, but your argument is like the toxic offspring of gaslighting and victim-blaming. All jokes ring with certain truths, that’s what makes the best jokes so funny, and the worst ones so devastating. Joke responsibly.

#queerisnotapunchline
#itsokaytofeelhurt
#itsnotokaytohurtfeelings
#apologizeandmoveon

 

Me: If you want to talk about poking fun, poke fun at transphobia, not the trans community. The former deserves ridicule, the latter does not.

 

Mr. X: For the record... I'm not at fault here for poking fun anywhere... I'm just sick and tired of the rampant victim mentality this world is puking out right now.
I grew up as an abused child, where my adults were always too drunk to raise my siblings and I. When the drinking began, the abuse came with it. If I would have allowed this to make me a victim, I'd feel much the same way. Yeah, words hurt. I get it... But again, it comes down to input and output, and most of all translation. A person with strong constitution will rise up above the slander/hate/bigotry/etc and use that as fuel to be a better person. In most cases, they are actually better off than the offender, they just don't realize/believe/accept it. I’m one of the first people that will ever jump in to help defend someone that can't defend themselves. Maybe it's cuz of how I was brought up, and nobody ever stood up for me... Maybe it's cuz I'm just a good natured person, who understands the difference between living and merely existing. For you to single out the "trans community" as being victimized, well sure... It is... Along with EVERY other group in the world. It's a sad truth, but true nonetheless. Not all jokes are made behind a state of phobia... Some truly are just jokes. For you to relate a careless meme to a phobia just screams victim mentality... I'm sorry you've had to go thru whatever hardships in life that has brought you to that thought track; but, someone posting a simple meme that THEY thought was humorous does NOT require everyone else to find it humorous as well. Hell, I've been working on cars for over 20 years. I find this meme hilarious as fuck! Not cuz of the jab to the "trans community", but because I can relate to the check engine light symbol all too well! I'm just mature enough to ignore the "trans community" reference, and fill in any other non-offensive group there that I can see fit. If more people thought that way, more people would setup dividing themselves off from the rest of the world, and communities as a whole would start to heal. Just some food for thought.

 

Mr. X: And, if you think I owe anyone an apology here, you REALLY need to think that thru again. My output is clear and concise, but it is NOT catered to YOUR input.

 

Me: Dude. THAT’S EXACTLY MY POINT. You can ignore the “trans jab” because YOU’RE. NOT. TRANS. To you, it’s a joke. To other people, it’s a reality. And just because it’s not YOUR reality, doesn’t mean it isn’t valid. Your trauma is your trauma, no one is saying yours is lesser, so why are you minimizing the hurt of others because they don’t deal with it the way you do? We should be uplifting each other, not competing in some bizarre, toxic pain olympics where we essentially tell each other to just grow a thicker skin because their trauma is not as bad as our trauma. And don’t essentially tell people to conform to your sense of humor, there’s a lot of privilege in be able to see this as just a joke, and it breaks my heart that you think it’s ever the victim’s fault for being a victim, rather than the fault of the people victimizing them. Someone truly awful definitely bullshitted you on that big time. Now, I’m not accusing anybody of being a bad person, I never was, all I was saying that a joke like this does more harm than good because the only people that can relate to it are the ones OUTSIDE the punchline, and just further serves to alienate the people INSIDE it. Do you get it? Do you get it now? Do you see the problem? It’s easy to laugh at jokes where YOU are NOT the punchline. Be an ally. Don’t deny the hurt of others, defend it as if it were you own. ❤️

 

—END OF SPOILER—

 

Much of this doesn't make sense. It's basically saying that we don't have yu protect minorities. If we didn't protect minorities, we would not have women's rights, other-races-besides-White rights. People aren't going to stop standing up for what they're passionate about. Just because one isn't part of the minority, it doesn't mean they can start saying bad things about that minority and think their rights don't matter. 

 

And the picture, "a transgender"? Oh come on. As for that guy, he's victim blaming now. It's the fault of the aggressors, not the victims. Faulting the victim doesn't fix the problem, it just hides it at best. Not everyone can rise above it all and accept it like him. 

[Neutral nerd]

@Pixley did that guy really say he got picked on because he's white?? I... don't even know what to say. 

Also, how is that meme supposed to be funny? What does the yellow symbol mean?

[PixleyDust✨]

15 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said:

Much of this doesn't make sense. It's basically saying that we don't have yu protect minorities. If we didn't protect minorities, we would not have women's rights, other-races-besides-White rights. People aren't going to stop standing up for what they're passionate about. Just because one isn't part of the minority, it doesn't mean they can start saying bad things about that minority and think their rights don't matter. 

 

And the picture, "a transgender"? Oh come on. As for that guy, he's victim blaming now. It's the fault of the aggressors, not the victims. Faulting the victim doesn't fix the problem, it just hides it at best. Not everyone can rise above it all and accept it like him. 

Exactly. He’s not even trans, he said so himself, and he’s essentially telling the people who are who would not like this joke to just “rise above it” because it’s all a matter of perception, we all have problems, and that we’re only victims if we choose to be. 

 

Dude, GTFO. For real. 🙄

 

You have GRAVELY misunderstood both the concept of privilege AND victim-blaming. SMH. 😑

 

Your obliviousness is STUPIDLY PAINFUL. STOP. 🖐

[PixleyDust✨]

Just now, Neutral nerd said:

@Pixley did that guy really say he got picked on because he's white?? I... don't even know what to say. 

Also, how is that meme supposed to be funny? What does the yellow symbol mean?

Right?

 

It’s a check engine light. I didn’t get it at first either, until I scrolled the original comments.

 

For this joke, check engine light means you need to check your transmission.

 

Now, what’s a common, but in this case, punny way of saying transmission that’s also happens to be a slur for trans folk?

 

Spoiler

Answer: Tranny 🤢

 

That’s what I’m getting from it at least. 

 

There was at least one guy wearing a MAGA hat in his profile pic who thought it was funny. Yeah, I think that right there makes it’s safe to say this joke was less than stellar material. 

[Neutral nerd]

That is a pathetic attempt at a joke. That guy was completely wrong in defending it, as it is not even remotely funny to anyone unless they're a transphobe. 

[PixleyDust✨]

19 hours ago, Neutral nerd said:

That is a pathetic attempt at a joke. That guy was completely wrong in defending it, as it is not even remotely funny to anyone unless they're a transphobe. 

Thank you! 🙌

 

That’s what I kept trying to tell him, but he isn’t going to get it. Kept relating his personal problems to me and how he overcomes them, and I sympathize with him, but it’s a false equivalency.

 

Being made fun of for some minor physical, cosmetic insecurity definitely sucks for sure, I’ve been there, but is in no way equitable to the systematic and cultural discrimination of a vulnerable and consistently marginalized community. Being made of for being trans is definitely not the same as being made fun of for having thinning hair, or being average looking. WTF?

 

He might get teased, but his existence isn’t constantly questioned, mocked, invalidated, ignored, and/or threatened with the possibility of violence.

 

So, you know, he can just shut the fuck up with his pretentious “input/output” and “you’re only a victim if you choose to be victim-blaming but not victim-blaming somehow?” BS. 

 

What a soggy fruit loop. 🤣

[Guest]

I need to stop elbowing myself in my chest... IT HURTS.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

2 hours ago, Phoenix the II said:

I need to stop elbowing myself in my chest... IT HURTS.

Is your chest a new thing for you or are you just clumsy?  

[daveb]

2 hours ago, Phoenix the II said:

I need to stop elbowing myself in my chest... IT HURTS.

Again? 

 

I'm not even limber enough to touch my elbow to my chest (but I don't have boobs, so that might make a difference?).

 

I hope you can stop doing it anyway, especially since you said it hurts (in caps).

[Guest]

36 minutes ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

Is your chest a new thing for you or are you just clumsy?  

Yeah they're new hahah, and clumsy yes. 

 

 

22 minutes ago, daveb said:

Again? 

 

I'm not even limber enough to touch my elbow to my chest (but I don't have boobs, so that might make a difference?).

 

I hope you can stop doing it anyway, especially since you said it hurts (in caps).

Again yeah. Watch me soon complain while carrying stuff against them. And bumping into things 

[Destan]

On 8/28/2018 at 10:27 PM, Phoenix the II said:

Sister: You should't feel bad if people don't butterfly kiss you on birthday parties... Like they would other woman... They're just seeking how to greet you.

 

Inner self: Pleasseeeee, I feel so awkward if people would do this to me that are not close to me. But thanks for the invalidation sister. 😐 

 

Reaction: I know, I don't care how they greet me. I'm fine with a handshake (I actually prefer it... haha)

I prefer handshakes too. I hate it when people do that to me, I would just focus on backing out of it ,but they keep leaning in until my friends say I actually dislike physical contact.

If I can't avoid the congratulations kissing greet (1x left and 1x right on the cheeks), I'll just endure it while cringing.

During my elementary graduation ceremony, I jerked my head away from the principal when she tried to give me the second kiss of the congratulations greet.

The audience laughed because I did that on stage. 

[Anthracite_Impreza]

44 minutes ago, Phoenix the II said:

Yeah they're new hahah, and clumsy yes. 

I can understand that, they always get in my way if I'm not binding - it's so much nicer now they're not there most of the day! Though I suppose for you you'll have to get used to avoiding them, since you actually want them 

[Guest]

Just now, Anthracite_Impreza said:

I can understand that, they always get in my way if I'm not binding - it's so much nicer now they're not there most of the day! Though I suppose for you you'll have to get used to avoiding them, since you actually want them 

Mhmm mhmmm! 😛

[Kimmie.]

4 hours ago, Phoenix the II said:

I need to stop elbowing myself in my chest... IT HURTS.

I hope you are okay 🐈 

 

And I never thought that I would be jealous of someone hurting themselves ☹️ 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Kimmie. said:

I hope you are okay 🐈 

 

And I never thought that I would be jealous of someone hurting themselves ☹️ 

I am, and *hug*

 

You know what to go for  

[Anthracite_Impreza]

3 hours ago, Kimmie. said:

And I never thought that I would be jealous of someone hurting themselves ☹️ 

Me and my trans male friend are both deathly jealous of his boyfriend who's already had top surgery. Damn him for getting cut open before us.

[Ms. Carolynne]

11 hours ago, Kimmie. said:

I hope you are okay 🐈

 

And I never thought that I would be jealous of someone hurting themselves ☹️ 

Same here, lol. I'm kind of happy hearing about it too, but for her, not because she hurt herself 😛

 

I'm with @daveb though, it seems that it would be difficult to pull off.

[PixleyDust✨]

13 hours ago, Phoenix the II said:

Again yeah. Watch me soon complain while carrying stuff against them. And bumping into things 

Also boob punches. Those are the WORST. WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE. 

But yeah, carrying stuff is definitely awkward with front lumps. That's actually why binding (when I wanted to at least) was so freeing, because lifting something became like a MILLION times easier. Made me feel so awesomely "manly" (despite knowing I don't want to be manly. Weird exception, I guess). 

In fact, I literally jumped on every opportunity for heavy lifting whenever I binded just because I knew I could now. Whether it was gender euphoria, or just the euphoria of overcoming a lifelong insecurity I've had (and still have) from everyone constantly telling me and/or implicitly teaching me growing up that "girls are INHERENTLY WEAKER than men", either way it felt INCREDIBLE. 

(Still does actually). 

But yeah, the struggle is real. But I'm happy for you that it's a much more amusing struggle, rather than a soul-crushing one. ❤️

[Roidgy]

Im a trans man but due to Intersex Medical Reasons im on E..... its gonna be 6 months and i feel Great and my Boobs are Huge. I feel so hungry all the time my boyfriend is scared im pregnant, i love Reverse Transitioning.

 

Ironic how about 5 years ago i wouldve killed for T and surgery......... now im just craving more E

[PixleyDust✨]

35 minutes ago, Roidgy said:

Im a trans man but due to Intersex Medical Reasons im on E..... its gonna be 6 months and i feel Great and my Boobs are Huge. I feel so hungry all the time my boyfriend is scared im pregnant, i love Reverse Transitioning.

 

Ironic how about 5 years ago i wouldve killed for T and surgery......... now im just craving more E

Aww, good. I'm happy things are going really well for you right now. ❤️ 

I can honestly say, I've never come across a trans man who was happy to be on estrogen. That's really cool. 

I honestly love this community and how it continues to blow my mind with stuff like this. God bless the internet. ❤️ 

[SkyWorld]

My mom would say that she’s supportive of me being trans, though honestly her actions say otherwise. I totally get not completely getting used to using new pronouns and such, but to use my birthname in front of a stranger after several strong months of calling me by my new name and correcting a stranger about being her daughter, I feel really really hurt...

 

Though, it really shouldn’t surprise me I guess. I just wished I was one of the more lucky ones with more supportive parents... I mean, it really could be worse, i could be homeless. Still though...

 

She keeps wanting me to push whenever I plan on changing my name and any surergy(ies) I may have and making excuses. It honestly just feels like she thinks she’s just “playing along with this phase” and that “it’ll go away in time”.

 

Since she keeps calling me with feminine pronouns and actually movig backwards from my new name to my birthname, she wonders why I avoid her.

 

I feel like I can live with her not truly accepting me for who I am. She will never see me as a son... I don’t really want to confront her, I’m too afraid to. I just really wished she didn’t correct strangers who rightfully see me as a guy. I wished she didn’t want me to interact with family members I have spoken to in over half my life. Let them keep the memory of the old me because that person is long gone. If she wanted, she could tell the family I barely talked to anyway that I died for all I care, especially if she truly felt that I’m not her son, may as well.

 

I honestly actually kind of rather she disowned me than keep referring me as her daughter. To say “you’re no daughter of mine”, I’d agree, I’m not your daughter. And if she disowned me, she could stop talking about her “daughter” to strangers and family I barely know or talk to.

 

— Just saying, my past self, I don’t really like saying that my “deadname” is dead. I also don’t really like saying “deadname” and use “birthname”. Saying my past self died is kind of morbid. I’m the same person, but just the type of person everyone thought I was is gone and isn’t coming back. I guess it is some kind of loss in a way in their eyes. 😕 

[Anthracite_Impreza]

@SkyWorld My father's exactly the same. I know he's never gonna really accept who I am and I'm not even bothering with changing pronouns in front of him, it would just cause more arguments. We have to be strong for ourselves, because we can't rely on others unfortunately.

[Guest]

@SkyWorld My mom's the same way. She says she has nothing against trans peeps yet she constantly belittles anyone that she knows is trans and basically brings up all those excuses like how "sex and gender are the same thing" and how "a man can never be a woman" or vice versa. She loves to emphasize my dead name around strangers and call me her daughter and it really sucks.

[daveb]

When I came out to my mom about me being a crossdresser she said if I ever transitioned she would support me and love me just the same. I believe it, knowing her.

 

I saw a TED talk yesterday, given by a 57 and a half year old Australian woman (she said the half was important), talking about the advantages of getting old. Mostly it was the advantages of a woman getting old. One of the things she mentioned was that her tits (her words) didn't hurt anymore. She demonstrated by punching them. She said all her life, from when she got them until she got old they hurt (I assume she meant they could be hurt if hit or whatever). Apparently menopause has some benefits (she mentioned some others as well).