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nickolekuebler
9 hours ago, Tetus said:

So, this week has been a weird series of misery, some related to trans stuff, some not.

 

Im currently doing laser and electrolysis concurrently, as I have a lot of gray but still some beard shadow. Thing is, you must shave before laser, but can’t shave for a couple days before electro, so I have to arrange depression weekends where I go in for laser on Friday then get electrolysis on Sunday or Monday, and I have to let my facial hair grow in the meantime which is incredibly dysphoric. So that was happening. 
 

I also got my bloodwork done so I could schedule my 6 months on HRT check in. Labcorp is a terrible place, I was all stressed about how to present, decided to go fem with a mask since it was post laser, then just got sirred and they used my legal name rather than my preferred one anyway, so cool, that sucks. Results came back and my T is creeping back up, which sucks, and I start to pick apart everything I feel or do to see if that’s evidence. I realize this is unhelpful, but what can you do?

 

Go to make my follow up appointment, and the office tells me my doctor is out all of march, so now I’m worried my T will keep climbing while I wait to see her in April. Get electro, cry for a while about how much hair there still is and how little progress each session gives. Don’t know if I can actually make it. Maybe I’ll stop after laser kills the shadow.

 

So yesterday, I’m finally able to shave. Cool. Then I get an email that the lady who is our HR department died. I immediately feel shock and numbness, then my mind starts panicking because while I didn’t know her well we had kind of a rapport and I’d talked to her a week ago about needing to have a private conversation soon (work is my final frontier of coming out and I’m miserable having to present masc, my work is 100% suffering from it). Then I get upset at myself because I’m more worried about the impact on my life than someone dying. Then I’m upset because I think maybe that’s the T blocking my ability to feel things again.

 

Then my clothes dryer broke.

electrolysis sucks. I have been doing it for a little over a year now and I still feel like I have a ton of hair. I do notice though that it does not grow back as much in the areas that she has worked. I know that it is so hard to let the hair grow and it makes you feel terrible but in the end it will be worth it to not have to shave anymore. on that not though if you have dark hair then you could likely get away with just laser. I have light blond hair so laser does not work for me. 

 

I too have been dealing with my t levels creeping up like this as well. I have had many conversations with my obgyn in regards to this and I know that for me part of it is the amount of exercise that I get. there are many things that can influence this so I would try not to worry too much about it. remember that no matter what you are a beautiful woman. 

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Sarah-Sylvia

The hair under my mouth (chin) is annoying, I have such a hard time shaving it, it irritates my skin and i feel like shows more too. I've already had quite a few laser sessions for my face but those are just so tenacious. I guess I'll try to do some more at some point when I can but it's so darn expensive including not knowing how many it'll take xD. I could try electrolysis again after those but yeah letting them grow isn't the most fun.

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1 hour ago, nickolekuebler said:

electrolysis sucks. I have been doing it for a little over a year now and I still feel like I have a ton of hair. I do notice though that it does not grow back as much in the areas that she has worked. I know that it is so hard to let the hair grow and it makes you feel terrible but in the end it will be worth it to not have to shave anymore. on that not though if you have dark hair then you could likely get away with just laser. I have light blond hair so laser does not work for me. 

 

I too have been dealing with my t levels creeping up like this as well. I have had many conversations with my obgyn in regards to this and I know that for me part of it is the amount of exercise that I get. there are many things that can influence this so I would try not to worry too much about it. remember that no matter what you are a beautiful woman. 

Thanks girl, but, you know how it is - I just start anxiety looping about it.

 

Re: electrolysis, while my hair is dark enough for laser, the problem is that it has mostly gone grey. So the laser will help fight the shadow I get even after shaving, but if I want to actually not have to shave, I need a ton of electro for the rest of my face.

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Sarah-Sylvia
6 minutes ago, Tetus said:

Thanks girl, but, you know how it is - I just start anxiety looping about it.

 

Re: electrolysis, while my hair is dark enough for laser, the problem is that it has mostly gone grey. So the laser will help fight the shadow I get even after shaving, but if I want to actually not have to shave, I need a ton of electro for the rest of my face.

you could do laser and then do electrolysis for the rest or what has trouble dropping? well, just one way of doing it.

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1 hour ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

you could do laser and then do electrolysis for the rest or what has trouble dropping? well, just one way of doing it.

yep, that's what I'm doing

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nickolekuebler
11 minutes ago, Tetus said:

yep, that's what I'm doing

I think that is probably the best idea. I did laser before I did electro and it didn't do much but it did help some. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

so turns out i'm nonbinary transmasc and gender faun. it's going to be a fun life of getting misgendered as a gay (trans)man. when i'm nonbinary aroace. i even do that myself sometimes. the thing is  i've never trully fallen for anyone of any gender . and i've tried . but nothing. i chose to transition to male because "i've got to chose a "real" gender" internalized nonbinary phobia. i wish people asked me what my pronouns where. and actually used them. turns out i'm transmasc so i can pass as a guy . and i do like he him pronouns. but still tho. it feels almost impossible to live outside the binary. the disappointment they feel when you say you aren't one of the binary genders... makes me really question if gender is a  stereotype some three year old  made up.  i'm so tired of man do this women do that. it is so toxic. people keep reinforcing the binary making gendered products, don't they realize this is counter productive? why not just do whatever? i've realized i'm not only against the binary but also think its toxic bullshit either way. and some people sell masculinity and femininity as a self help thing. just don't. please stop reinforcing the binary.

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57 minutes ago, Makiducky said:

so turns out i'm nonbinary transmasc and gender faun. it's going to be a fun life of getting misgendered as a gay (trans)man. when i'm nonbinary aroace. i even do that myself sometimes. the thing is  i've never trully fallen for anyone of any gender . and i've tried . but nothing. i chose to transition to male because "i've got to chose a "real" gender" internalized nonbinary phobia. i wish people asked me what my pronouns where. and actually used them. turns out i'm transmasc so i can pass as a guy . and i do like he him pronouns. but still tho. it feels almost impossible to live outside the binary. the disappointment they feel when you say you aren't one of the binary genders... makes me really question if gender is a  stereotype some three year old  made up.  i'm so tired of man do this women do that. it is so toxic. people keep reinforcing the binary making gendered products, don't they realize this is counter productive? why not just do whatever? i've realized i'm not only against the binary but also think its toxic bullshit either way. and some people sell masculinity and femininity as a self help thing. just don't. please stop reinforcing the binary.

Clothes and hair cut and other stuff can make a big difference in how you present, and they can easily be non-binary in presentation. Maybe over time you'll feel fine to explore that way.

As a trans woman who doesn't pass (and I don't wear makeup), I would say I look more non-binary in presentation if anything. That's easier for me and what I can do for now, even if really I want to be gendered correctly, it would just be a bit too much for me for now to try to do more, but I do still have a tomboy side as a gal so it's not like I'm not wearing things I like.

Anyway, the issue is just lack of inclusion. My gender identity is mostly binary :P, but it'd be important for everyone to feel they have a place and can be themselves. What I'm tired of is not having other options for bathrooms,  I really want more public non-gendered bathrooms and all that.

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6 hours ago, Makiducky said:

so turns out i'm nonbinary transmasc and gender faun. it's going to be a fun life of getting misgendered as a gay (trans)man. when i'm nonbinary aroace. i even do that myself sometimes. the thing is  i've never trully fallen for anyone of any gender . and i've tried . but nothing. i chose to transition to male because "i've got to chose a "real" gender" internalized nonbinary phobia. i wish people asked me what my pronouns where. and actually used them. turns out i'm transmasc so i can pass as a guy . and i do like he him pronouns. but still tho. it feels almost impossible to live outside the binary. the disappointment they feel when you say you aren't one of the binary genders... makes me really question if gender is a  stereotype some three year old  made up.  i'm so tired of man do this women do that. it is so toxic. people keep reinforcing the binary making gendered products, don't they realize this is counter productive? why not just do whatever? i've realized i'm not only against the binary but also think its toxic bullshit either way. and some people sell masculinity and femininity as a self help thing. just don't. please stop reinforcing the binary.

I really do wish that people would stop with specifically gendered clothing and stuff like that too. I do have several friends that though they identify with their birth gender within the binary they tend to wear clothes that they like regardless of the gender they are meant for. one of my friends that I skate with is a guy and will happily wear a skirt cause he finds it comfortable. I love to see and meet people like that cause it shows me that as a society we are making progress, maybe not as fast as we would like but it is progress. I also am so happy that there are places like the ice rinks out here where people can be so comfortable being themselves and not have to worry about people judging them. I am a hockey player in a queer league and it is just amazing to have these communities like this. I have only once ever felt uncomfortable or unwanted in the locker room when I was playing hockey, and that time was not even that bad to speak of so I think it is a nice thing that so many people here are open to whatever they just want to play and have fun. 

 

I do really wish that more places could be accepting of non binary people, asking someone their pronouns is a great way to make people feel more welcome. I also think that there needs to be more gender neutral bathrooms. I know that there are some companies that as they build new facilities they are designing them with this in mind, my work is a good example of this. I work for honeywell and they in a meeting apologized to those of us that are gender diverse for not having gender neutral bathrooms at this facility and told us that any new facility that they make will include them but it would be very hard to retrofit our current building to include them. I hope that more people here are able to work for companies that do care that much about their employees and making them feel welcome. 

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