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I'm on my way to buy a new smartphone and,

I'd like to know why the black one is more expensive than the other colors??

I'm forced to buy a pink one because it's cheaper (black: 200 euros, pink: 150)

Is this color discrimination?

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Celyn: The Lutening

Reverse pink tax? Wow, usually the pink ones are more expensive. 

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Custard Cream

That is weird. Maybe they are just getting rid of an overstock of pink?

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3 hours ago, Celyn said:

Reverse pink tax? Wow, usually the pink ones are more expensive. 

Really? When I did my research on phones usually the black one is more expensive than any other color.

2 hours ago, Custard Cream said:

That is weird. Maybe they are just getting rid of an overstock of pink?

Dunno, the store only has pink and black. I was actually disappointed because on the packaging, there were clearly options for gray and blue but they only had the other colors in stock. 😕

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Custard Cream
3 minutes ago, Destan said:

Really? When I did my research on phones usually the black one is more expensive than any other color.

Dunno, the store only has pink and black. I was actually disappointed because on the packaging, there were clearly options for gray and blue but they only had the other colors in stock. 😕

that's annoying.  Pink wouldn't be my choice either.  Mines a dark teal colour.  Although, if you put it in a case the colour will be pretty much hidden anyway.  You can't actually tell what colour mine is inside a purple case.

 

 

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anisotrophic

I like to call it salmon! (See colors names by gender results here 😂 https://blog.xkcd.com/2010/05/03/color-survey-results/ )

 

You can get a case that covers most of it anyways, that's how mine is. (Which is salmon. Excuse me, "coral". lol. See also the "not pink" Pixel phone, that's literally the color name! 😛)

 

As for pricing, I often see pink options cheaper on Amazon when shopping, esp. for kids, I'm guessing because they end up with too much stock because most people refuse to buy pink for boys. (And at some point one's AMAB kids may actually reject it because they get teased by other kids at school, it's really sad but true.)

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1 hour ago, anisotrophic said:

I like to call it salmon! (See colors names by gender results here 😂 https://blog.xkcd.com/2010/05/03/color-survey-results/ )

 

You can get a case that covers most of it anyways, that's how mine is. (Which is salmon. Excuse me, "coral". lol. See also the "not pink" Pixel phone, that's literally the color name! 😛)

My family said the same thing about a phone case. Although, I agree that it's a good solution, I just really dislike pink. (bad memories)

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nerdperson777
On 1/3/2020 at 9:32 PM, nerdperson777 said:

I'm not really into anime.  I just watch whatever my friends tell me to watch.  It's Waver Welvet from the Fate series.  Fate/Zero was when he was young.  He gets the title Lord El-Melloi II when he is a professor.  I was watching Lord El-Melloi II's Case Files.

I guess I finished the whole 13 episode season now.  Don't know when they'll release another one.  There was a funny ace moment in the last episode.  After the events of the previous episode, he ended up in the hospital.  It's nothing that serious, as he's physically frail and has needed treatment many times in these 13 episodes.  (I really don't know how he managed to be 5' 2" at 19 and grow an entire foot by the time he got to his 30s.)  His two top students visited him in the hospital and one gave him a get well gift.  The student explained that it was a top gift for guys who like Japanese video games, which he got into after the events in Zero.  He looks inside the bag and it's like a magazine or game guide for a dating sim or something.  The book was called "Exciting Love" with girls on the cover, so I can only guess.  He did not like the gift and comically strangled his face.  Afterwards, the female student whose ultimate goal is to be his mistress walked in and climbed his bed seductively.  He just ordered them all out of the room.  In another episode, the female student was at the mall looking at lingerie and said she thinks he's a virgin.  That's very ace sounding.

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This might be a controversial topic idk but does anyone ever watch videos about people who detransition or say they regret transitioning and kinda get scared?

For some reason I always click on those and they make me uncomfortable every time. All the reasons people talk about usually have to do with trauma they hadn't dealt with or internalized misogyny or other things I thought about a lot while I was questioning my gender, but still I can't help the little bit of doubt at the back of my head thinking "what if I didn't consider it enough or missed something? What if I've been wrong this whole time and will only realize once I'm on hormones?" 

And then ultimately I stop worrying about it because I know at least on the social aspect of transitioning it's been like four years and I still definitely prefer living as male and wouldn't want to go back, plus I'm definitely uncomfortable with having a female body... so.. to me that seems like it should be enough to stop doubting myself. But then I think, well surely those people also thought the same thing at some point? Like I always wonder how long it was between them figuring out they were trans to them transitioning to them then figuring out they weren't actually trans (well, in the case of those who weren't. I know there are some trans people who choose to detransition for other personal reasons but here I'm talking about people who end up feeling like they were wrong about their original conclusions about their gender).. Anyway and then my mind kinda goes in circles like that until I forget about it.

It's just kinda scary because there seem to be people who transition and live like that for years and then feel the need to detransition.. others who are doubting themselves all the way to the start of HRT but once they're on it feel like it was for sure right for them.. 

I have a lot of reasons to believe it's the right thing for me but it's still scary to be reminded from time to time that you can't really be 100% sure until you just live it (or at least I can't like that, but maybe that's just the kind of person I am).

Like for example I couldn't even call myself trans until after I actually started socially transitioning bit by bit and realized I didn't want to go back. 

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Celyn: The Lutening

@Starbogen As long as you can go back and calm down and know that you're happy on the path you're on, I think it's all good.

You're right that detransiton seems to be because they had unresolved trauma and mental health issues and they though that transition would magically solve everything - maybe many of them really were trans but because they still had say depression after transition, they thought "Why isn't living as this gender making me happy?" So thought it wasn't the right choice.

Also I think a lot of them are nonbinary but transitioned to a binary gender because of lack of enby visibility and education, and so the other binary gender is just as wrong for them as their AGAB.

 

And it's OK to not be 100% sure before trying things. Nobody would ever do anything if they had to wait until they were absolutely certain that they were taking the right path. That's life.

(Ash Harrell made a beautiful uplifting video about transition doubts being normal and OK, I forget what it was called.)

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13 hours ago, Celyn said:

I think a lot of them are nonbinary but transitioned to a binary gender because of lack of enby visibility

I think I would've transitioned earlier if I'd known, but instead spent several years doing angry egg things...

 

16 hours ago, Starbogen said:

It's just kinda scary because there seem to be people who transition and live like that for years and then feel the need to detransition.. others who are doubting themselves all the way to the start of HRT but once they're on it feel like it was for sure right for them.. 

Seems like evidence that being *too* sure about something is a bad sign?

 

I don't think I was ever 100% sure, but no regrets so far.

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With any Major Life Choice, there's always some people who realize later on that they regret their decision.  If you're scared that that might be you (with whatever choice, not just gender things), do your research beforehand and take small steps if possible.

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Fucking hell between my parents talking about me while they thought I couldn't hear and a receptionist at the psych office who doesn't know me I've heard my birthname like six fucking times today and I just woke up. 

And ugh I have to go out to a psych appointment in a couple hours. Today sucks already.

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I like to think that my relationship with my parents is fully healed after the whole coming out fiasco but sometimes I realize that I'm still pretty damn bitter. 

A while ago, me and my mom was at a talk about trans people, and the speaker was telling us about a teen's experiences with transphobia when my mom decided to raise her hand to loudly exclaim how baffled she is that people would misgender and deadname someone like that. She said she couldn't understand the mindset of someone who doesn't use the right name, as if that is not exactly what she had intentionally been doing just a few years earlier. It hit me with this wave of resentment that I'm still not sure of how to deal with. 
I love my parents but I don't know if the hurt they have caused me will ever fully heal and that can be a pretty tough thought to bear. 

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Ahh I told my parents they could choose a middle name for me if they wanted.. I don't particularly feel the need for one since I've never had one but my little brothers do and idk I thought it might be something that might make my parents feel a bit more included and appreciated in the process of my transition.. Like I'm not called the name they gave me anymore but they can choose a new one.

I'm not actually sure how good of an idea that was but eh it could make me feel nice too to have a middle name, lots of people here have one and I always lowkey felt like the odd one out. And well, if I hate it then we can negotiate I guess XD

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Lonemathsytoothbrushthief
On 1/18/2020 at 7:49 PM, frostboot said:

I like to think that my relationship with my parents is fully healed after the whole coming out fiasco but sometimes I realize that I'm still pretty damn bitter. 

A while ago, me and my mom was at a talk about trans people, and the speaker was telling us about a teen's experiences with transphobia when my mom decided to raise her hand to loudly exclaim how baffled she is that people would misgender and deadname someone like that. She said she couldn't understand the mindset of someone who doesn't use the right name, as if that is not exactly what she had intentionally been doing just a few years earlier. It hit me with this wave of resentment that I'm still not sure of how to deal with. 
I love my parents but I don't know if the hurt they have caused me will ever fully heal and that can be a pretty tough thought to bear. 

*Offers hugs* regardless of their current behaviour just know that when you're feeling upset, you have every right to take some time just to be around people who have never hurt you like that. ❤️ We all have had to start with some pretty transphobic parents, family, friends, partners etc and they shouldn't expect the hurt to go away so easily. I at least hope that your parents are capable of recognising these moments and how they effectively rub salt in the wound.

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4 hours ago, Lonemathsytoothbrushthief said:

*Offers hugs* regardless of their current behaviour just know that when you're feeling upset, you have every right to take some time just to be around people who have never hurt you like that. ❤️ We all have had to start with some pretty transphobic parents, family, friends, partners etc and they shouldn't expect the hurt to go away so easily. I at least hope that your parents are capable of recognising these moments and how they effectively rub salt in the wound.

Thank you! It's sad that starting out with transphobic family is the standard! 

My parents seem to be in denial about how they have hurt me so its hard to make them recognize how these moments are harmful. My dad is even worse in that regard; I once mentioned some awful thing he had said and he flat out denied that it ever happened. I think he has genuinely forgotten/repressed it, but I can't do that. I tend to not dwell on it but it's pretty unfair that he gets to escape the past but I don't. 

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nerdperson777
On 1/11/2020 at 9:03 PM, Starbogen said:

This might be a controversial topic idk but does anyone ever watch videos about people who detransition or say they regret transitioning and kinda get scared?

For some reason I always click on those and they make me uncomfortable every time. All the reasons people talk about usually have to do with trauma they hadn't dealt with or internalized misogyny or other things I thought about a lot while I was questioning my gender, but still I can't help the little bit of doubt at the back of my head thinking "what if I didn't consider it enough or missed something? What if I've been wrong this whole time and will only realize once I'm on hormones?" 

And then ultimately I stop worrying about it because I know at least on the social aspect of transitioning it's been like four years and I still definitely prefer living as male and wouldn't want to go back, plus I'm definitely uncomfortable with having a female body... so.. to me that seems like it should be enough to stop doubting myself. But then I think, well surely those people also thought the same thing at some point? Like I always wonder how long it was between them figuring out they were trans to them transitioning to them then figuring out they weren't actually trans (well, in the case of those who weren't. I know there are some trans people who choose to detransition for other personal reasons but here I'm talking about people who end up feeling like they were wrong about their original conclusions about their gender).. Anyway and then my mind kinda goes in circles like that until I forget about it.

It's just kinda scary because there seem to be people who transition and live like that for years and then feel the need to detransition.. others who are doubting themselves all the way to the start of HRT but once they're on it feel like it was for sure right for them.. 

I have a lot of reasons to believe it's the right thing for me but it's still scary to be reminded from time to time that you can't really be 100% sure until you just live it (or at least I can't like that, but maybe that's just the kind of person I am).

Like for example I couldn't even call myself trans until after I actually started socially transitioning bit by bit and realized I didn't want to go back. 

I had recently read an article about not being deterred by those detransition videos.  When people in your life are telling you not to transition because you may regret it later, it's BS.  They're just putting their insecurities on you.  Only some low statistic like 1% actually regret transitioning.  They're just using that 1% to justify their fears.  Probability is saying that there's a 99% (or whatever percentage it was) that transitioning will make you happier.  So chances are, you probably should transition.  On that rare chance that you do regret it, that's okay too.  For me, I had to tell myself that I wouldn't know until I tried.  So I did, and I couldn't have been happier.

 

On 1/18/2020 at 11:49 AM, frostboot said:

I like to think that my relationship with my parents is fully healed after the whole coming out fiasco but sometimes I realize that I'm still pretty damn bitter. 

A while ago, me and my mom was at a talk about trans people, and the speaker was telling us about a teen's experiences with transphobia when my mom decided to raise her hand to loudly exclaim how baffled she is that people would misgender and deadname someone like that. She said she couldn't understand the mindset of someone who doesn't use the right name, as if that is not exactly what she had intentionally been doing just a few years earlier. It hit me with this wave of resentment that I'm still not sure of how to deal with. 
I love my parents but I don't know if the hurt they have caused me will ever fully heal and that can be a pretty tough thought to bear. 

My mom does that too.  She'll publicly say that she's for LGBTQ+ rights, gay people should be allowed to marry, and trans people can use the bathrooms of their gender.  But in practice, she's never called me by my name (but has said that [ ] is my new legal name), used any of my pronouns one time, and begged me to use the female bathroom when we were out with relatives.  When asking about my roommates, she's also never gendered them correctly.  I've got to stop answering when she asks what my friends' AGAB is, because she'll use that instead of their actual pronouns.

 

On 1/22/2020 at 2:01 PM, frostboot said:

Thank you! It's sad that starting out with transphobic family is the standard! 

My parents seem to be in denial about how they have hurt me so its hard to make them recognize how these moments are harmful. My dad is even worse in that regard; I once mentioned some awful thing he had said and he flat out denied that it ever happened. I think he has genuinely forgotten/repressed it, but I can't do that. I tend to not dwell on it but it's pretty unfair that he gets to escape the past but I don't. 

My dad does that in general.  He conveniently forgets all the bad stuff he's done.  When I first told my parents that I had my name legally changed and they decided that I should get my own car insurance than let our family friends (who sold us the insurance), dad said that I should do what I need to do.  So I just called up an agent, not the friend, and asked to have my name changed on the insurance.  When my parents found out what I did, I justified my actions by quoting my dad saying that I should do what I have to do.  He denied saying that and I shouldn't drag him down with me. 

 

Tonight, I had eaten dinner with them and my dad ranted at me about how I didn't clean up my eating station after I finished, since there were crumbs there.  While I cleaned up the (barely noticeable amount of) crumbs, I said that he had some on his station too.  He said that I should do it for him.  I called him a hypocrite over this and he found this word to be very serious.  My family sees in black and white so they don't see how they can be bad people at all if they follow the law.  They raised me, fed me, clothed me, sent me to school, so there's no way they could be bad parents.  Their definition of abusive is physically beat to death, starved, neglected etc. so that's not them.  I said that he's done this unfair treatment more than today.  In the past, when I did something wrong, it was my fault.  If he did something wrong, it was still my fault, because I didn't remind him or tell him to do the right thing.  How is it fair that I'm the one who gets the short end of the stick in all situations?  My parents just say that if that's the rules, that's what it is, whether it's fair or not.  Rules have no explanation, it just is.  He used my favorite shirt as a rag because he assumed that it was old and I didn't want it anymore.  He never asked me, just took it, and I didn't find it for a while.  I didn't care if it was used as a rag, I just wanted it back.  He said he would give it back to me after he cleaned it.  He never got it back to me and now it's my problem that I won't let this go.  He doesn't remember when he does bad things so it's all good things on his mind.  He's only that generous guy that everyone praises, while he doesn't listen to me or my mom.

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Hopefully, one day rejecting your kid when they come out as trans will be as socially unacceptable as refusing to accept them bringing home a partner of a different race.  Society has changed for the better in the past few decades, but we still have a long way to go.

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nerdperson777
11 hours ago, Karst said:

Hopefully, one day rejecting your kid when they come out as trans will be as socially unacceptable as refusing to accept them bringing home a partner of a different race.  Society has changed for the better in the past few decades, but we still have a long way to go.

I'm surprised that having a different race partner is still that big of an issue now.  I thought that a same sex partner was more of a problem.  My cishet manager is mixed but looks mostly white and he just got engaged to his girlfriend who is Vietnamese.  He doesn't understand what it means to be queer but he's okay being in a different race relationship.  He said that the girl's parents love him.  They're all deeply religious and he really follows those kindness principles so he's a good man in the parents' eyes.

 

But I remember seeing some comic where there's two of the same scenes but in different decades.  The older one is the kids gasping that the grandfather is racist.  The newer one is the kids gasping that he's homophobic.  If there's a third one, it'd possibly be transphobic.

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2 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

 

But I remember seeing some comic where there's two of the same scenes but in different decades.  The older one is the kids gasping that the grandfather is racist.  The newer one is the kids gasping that he's homophobic.  If there's a third one, it'd possibly be transphobic.

Yep, I hope so. 

At the rate we're going it'll probably take at least another 100 years though 😕 (or maybe I have too little faith in humanity idk) 

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nerdperson777
On 2/6/2020 at 3:36 AM, Starbogen said:

Yep, I hope so. 

At the rate we're going it'll probably take at least another 100 years though 😕 (or maybe I have too little faith in humanity idk) 

Well, I think the comic had actual dates on them.  The homophobic one was 2000s probably.  The other one is possibly a few decades before.  We can expect transphobic to be maybe 2040?

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Ms. Carolynne

I want to try a pair of leggings with a skirt, but I would need a top to go with it.

 

I'd also need a way to hide it, and I'm afraid I'd be caught with it. Plus, if I'm wearing it there's no way I could quickly take such an outfit off quickly, and it's not like there's much time where I'm the only person home.

 

I really wish I could just wear whatever I wanted and experiment with fashion.

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On 2/9/2020 at 8:49 PM, nerdperson777 said:

Well, I think the comic had actual dates on them.  The homophobic one was 2000s probably.  The other one is possibly a few decades before.  We can expect transphobic to be maybe 2040?

A lot of social issues follow generational patterns: people don't change opinions, one has to wait for people to die & new ones to grow up to replace their opinions. Some don't budge (abortion). Others can shift more rapidly than one might expect; marriage equality was remarkably rapid.

I think gender identity changes might be generational, but maybe they'll be faster than that – homosexuality was less socially clustered (less of a "belief in X" than people hiding who they are), more dispersed, so one hypothesis is that it shifted faster than "expected" because everyone got exposed to "knowing someone" a lot more rapidly as people "came out" than typical demographic issues. If transfolk follow that pattern, maybe it shifts more rapidly as well. One can hope.

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3 hours ago, Ms. Carolynne said:

I want to try a pair of leggings with a skirt, but I would need a top to go with it.

 

I'd also need a way to hide it, and I'm afraid I'd be caught with it. Plus, if I'm wearing it there's no way I could quickly take such an outfit off quickly, and it's not like there's much time where I'm the only person home.

 

I really wish I could just wear whatever I wanted and experiment with fashion.

One way to hide the leggings is to put on a pair of pants. Quicker than changing out of the leggings. Could also cover the top with something like a pullover shirt or sweatshirt.

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3 hours ago, anisotrophic said:

I think gender identity changes might be generational, but maybe they'll be faster than that – homosexuality was less socially clustered (less of a "belief in X" than people hiding who they are), more dispersed, so one hypothesis is that it shifted faster than "expected" because everyone got exposed to "knowing someone" a lot more rapidly as people "came out" than typical demographic issues. If transfolk follow that pattern, maybe it shifts more rapidly as well. One can hope.

Yeah fingers crossed.. I feel like my parents' views on that is kinda an example of both a generational opinion but also a shift due to exposure. Because like, they don't actually see me as male in their minds, so their opinion hasn't changed, but they've become a lot more open to at least trying to understand and to respecting my identity because we've been having this conversation for years, plus they've seen more information about trans people on tv or wherever, more representation, so they've had evidence that it's not just me and being trans is a real thing. 

 

My mom for example works at a call center and has had trans clients she's obviously had to be respectful to, so I think stuff like that really does something to shift people's perceptions. Maybe it won't actually change older stubborn people's opinion but it will hopefully challenge their views and at least make them more flexible. I think another factor in older transphobic people holding onto their views is the fear of what other people will think of them (if they found out their child was trans). My dad told me one time that he was disappointed in me, and my mom told me several times that she needed to vent to someone but didn't want to tell anyone about me. But that was then.. and recently she has told at least one or two people about me (people from her office that I don't know. So like I guess she had initially told them she had a "daughter" but now corrected it and said I was a trans guy). And from what she told me the reactions were totally casual and supportive of trans people. So I think that kind of thing also made her realize that she was making things a way bigger deal than they were and worrying about the wrong things if that makes sense.

 

 

 

On a totally unrelated note.. man gaining a bit of weight is kind of a double edged sword. Like it sucks for the chest and hip areas but at the same time I love seeing my waist a little broader and my arms a little thicker, and I think it also helps my face a bit too because I look less "delicate". The reverse was true when I was thinner so it's like.. there are pros and cons either way, not sure which I prefer but I guess how I am right now is technically better since before I was underweight X'D

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5 hours ago, Ms. Carolynne said:

I want to try a pair of leggings with a skirt, but I would need a top to go with it.

 

I'd also need a way to hide it, and I'm afraid I'd be caught with it. Plus, if I'm wearing it there's no way I could quickly take such an outfit off quickly, and it's not like there's much time where I'm the only person home.

 

I really wish I could just wear whatever I wanted and experiment with fashion.

Anybody know where One could get feminine clothing in large sizes? I'm rather tall.

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