Are people romantically/sexually uninterested in you ?

[Warsaw]

I can't read people, I tend to miss most interest women have had in me.  There have been many instances where my sexual friends have come up to me and said something along the lines of "She's literally throwing herself at you, why are you doing nothing?" Most of these times I think they are just being friendly.

 

Here's a breakdown.  For women for every 4 sentences there is a hidden sentence.  For men for every 9 sentences there is a hidden sentence.  Most people get these like second nature.  I don't get them at all.

[RoseGoesToYale]

Every time I think I'm broadcasting on FM, I'm somehow still on AM. That is, even when I purposely try to signal that I'm romantically interested, that's not what registers. It's led to more awkward situations than I care to remember. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong (though aceness could have something to do with it). Sometimes I'm randomly approached by a stranger, but it's pretty rare and somewhat creepy.

[Yatagarasu]

Besides my bf? To quote a character from my favorite anime: "Who'd fall for that vulgar, gluttonous mass with no sex appeal (...)?". But really, the opposite sex is often uninterested in me, because they treat me like their pal, rather than a potential partner. Which is good. I don't like to draw attention.

[Kayze]

I have people interested in me for both sexual and romantic reasons. Some still stick around even knowing I'm asexual. I think it's an innocent-ish uncertainty if I really am asexual or not. Or some feel it could maybe work anyways, since I am still homoromantic and fetishy.

And others that have lost interest in me when they learn I'm asexual.

[Éadweard]

Probably 

[Crazy Cat Lady]

On 12/20/2017 at 1:03 AM, RoseGoesToYale said:

Every time I think I'm broadcasting on FM, I'm somehow still on AM. That is, even when I purposely try to signal that I'm romantically interested, that's not what registers.

I am terrible at trying to read other people. I've never thought about it, but it wouldn't surprise me if this AM/FM difference, as you describe it, is also me, as well. Not sure, but it's very possible. I think you've stated it well, anyway.

[JustanotherTobigirl]

I wiah I had this but men are most definetly sexually interested in me. I feel like a lot of it might deal with apperience. Men tend to mostly flirt with very femine appearing women who dress in skirts, dresses, ect.

[Sidestep]

I wish. I have trouble forming friendships because of the frequency with which the other party seems to want something more. Even after I out myself to them. 

[gothsoul]

I am the friend. I've only been approached once by someone interested in more in 21 years.  I wonder the same thing, is there something about me that gives off an asexual vibe or what.  I actually prefer it.

[Vicky Angel]

I find that very few people are interested in me.  Probably why I haven't been on a date in 9 years 

[AW10]

On 7/3/2017 at 8:17 AM, Skyl said:

Do you think there are such things as "uninterested aura" or "lack of sexual aura" ? What about your life experiences ?

I always lacked explicit interest from others, but that could also be attributed to my overall unapproachable personality. 

When I did receive attention, however, it was mostly from women (I am female myself), so maybe there is some quality to me that doesn't feel "straight".

Rather than aura, you most likely combined your interests and receptiveness, so you basically used your receptiveness to sense something in an other human that will threaten your interests, and thus done or said things that will convey your (non)interests to the other human, without even realizing that you have done or said it.

[LoisLane]

I'm not talking about sexual aura here but a few years ago, when I was still in uni something that one guy told me once told me really stuck with me all those years and I try to be more aware of it.

it might be obvious to some but you know, I was going to school in the morning, taking the public transportation and doing my own things so when I arrived in the school building class I was just with my headphones, going to class and minding my own business. Then when I was there, I would remove them and talk to a few of my friends, you know? 

I was always polite and thought to be friendly.

So I didn't see anything wrong with this.

 

and one day, we had a group project so there were a couple of friends and other people from my class and I and we just really hit off that day. One time, I don't really remember when but the discussion moved to why we didn't talk much before that and he then told me that I looked interesting with my geeky tshirts (he's also a bit nerdy and I think at that time, I probably never wore the same nerdy tshirt twice because I have so many) but he never thought to engage with me because I seemed to be in my "bubble" I guess and I was quite surprised by that.

it does make sense I know with the earbuds and all (it's a well known tactic to be at peace) but before that point I never thought about how much people could get from that and how my whole body and attitude, not only the earbuds, projected an idea that would "push people away'. I want to say he never meant in a negative way because the way he phrased it was something like "I had a kind of confidance" to myself, which isn't bad at all but I've really taken that to consideration, as an introvert, as to how I behave since then.

i mean, this was probably 5/6 years ago already! And it's quite random but I thought I'd share because sometimes it's the little things.

 

not that you have to change it, or everything but it is nice to be aware of it. i know I'm glad to know and it helped me understand myself and others a bit better. It's also useful to be aware about it if you actually want to use it to your advantage. I know I've done it

 

back more closely to your posts guys, I like to view it as a "vibe" you present or not. 

I'd say some people may be more sensual and seen more directly as more approachable but I think it's fair to say that even if I'm far from denying the natural aspect of it, some people might actually be "working on it" more so that's maybe why some of us don't attract that kind of attention.

I mean, I don't want to generalise at all, but that might be a factor. I don't know. Maybe because what can be seen as a lack of interest from us really is obvious even when we don't think it does?

[borkfork]

Posture and body language can say a lot. Arms crossed, feet pointing away, avoiding eye contact, slouching. 

[Guest Jetsun Milarepa]

Geez, I hope not! That would creep me out.

[Kyōma32]

Apparently, me making polite and (I hope) interesting conversation is enough to make some people think I'm interested. There have been a few very uncomfortable situations where I've had to explain stuff quickly and back the hell out of what I thought was an ordinary conversation. It really drives me up the wall; all I wanted was to chat to them.

[soda59]

I only got interest when I was older. I think it's because I was so awkward as a teen and now I seem more 'normie'. I have been approached by straight men on the street, usually types that are too macho for me to even be aesthetically attracted to ...(I would prefer to be hit on a cutie pie, girl or boy , even if it wouldn't pan out ) .

 

I usually  don't really get asked out by people I actually come into regular contact with,though. Just randos.

 

 

 

[Nylocke]

I get plenty of guys that are after sex since coming to this crap hole known as GA ... Back home in NY it was very far and few in between when guys would be attracted to me enough to even pursue me. Down here these dudes don't give a crap, they'll chase anything that has -- well ya know.

[Guest]

On 7/3/2017 at 2:17 AM, Skyl said:

Do you think there are such things as "uninterested aura" or "lack of sexual aura" ? What about your life experiences ?

I always lacked explicit interest from others, but that could also be attributed to my overall unapproachable personality. 

When I did receive attention, however, it was mostly from women (I am female myself), so maybe there is some quality to me that doesn't feel "straight".

Mostly uninterested (but a little interest , some I disregard for reasons though.) Its probably because I rarely leave home or speak, that my "aura." Also I do a real good resting bitch face, so that probably doesn't help heh

[Pagan love]

I wish I knew what that uninterested vibe was bc I hate telling men no when all I want is their friendship. N when they don't get what they want their goes the friendship out the door bc then they get mean to me. I don't think I give off any hit on me vibes when I'm nice to someone in general but I had a man tell me once that if a woman so much as touches a man that means they want to have sex. N by touch I mean touch his arm or pat him on the shoulder when saying good bye or something. Just being kind comes off as a come on to most sexual men. It's hard to make friends with ppl like that.