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Yet another questions for sexuals....


Fuzzrules

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Hi, this is a curiosity-type question and thought I'd post here as I'm looking for responses from sexuals, primarily...

I'm a big fan of reading murder mysteries that are more puzzlers than gory, and I accidently got onto a series I really like (love the protaganist!, Eve Dallas!). The plots are intriguing, good writing and I like the characters. The thing is, these are written by J. D. Robb, which is an psuedonym for Nora Roberts, the romance novelist. So, needless to say, interspersed in these stories are episodes of "hot sex", in detail, no less. My question is, really? Is sex that great and wonderful? Do women feel like they may "die of pleasure" as he "goes in deep"?!! Does reading about this stuff get sexuals turned on? How does it make you feel?

Again, I"m just really curious......thanks!

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Hallucigenia

Woo...

I'm not the best sexual to ask about this, cause often, when I read graphic sex scenes in books, I get disgusted and put the book away. Especially if they have nothing to do with the plot, or are ridiculous in some other way. Other times, I will find a well-written sex scene that has a reason to be in the book, and find it an interesting and enjoyable part of the story. Sometimes they do make me feel sexual myself, but not always. It all depends on a whole ton of things like my mood that day.

Obviously I can't speak for the accuracy of such things either way...

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It's part of the mystique. Sexual straight guys get turned on by the idea of girls getting really turned on, and I assume the opposite goes for sexual straight girls. So, one of the things they'll do is hyperexaggerate everything. Every touch gets a moan of passion, and every orgasm goes off like a volcano (for both genders). But things virtually never work that nicely, and keep in mind that it's just fiction. It's not meant to be a textbook description of what sex is like, on any level. In the end it's basically another form of porn, and is about as real.

As to whether it turns people on, it depends on the person. Personally, I'd rather read about sex than see it, and if it's done properly (and isn't just descriptions of various anatomy in juxtaposition), then yes I can find it arousing, but only if I can believe the characters and the reactions and the feelings involved. Otherwise it's just stupid and pointless and I'll wait for the plot to pick back up.

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blue_winter

"Die of pleasure"!! Yeah right. I wish. From my personal experience, I could tell you that most times I've found sex to be really boring. I'm not asexual and I'm not ashamed to say that I've actually falllen asleep during sex. This is just my opinion, though. I don't get turned on by reading that kinda stuff. I mostly get angry cause it ain't me the one experiencing 'great and wonderful' sex.

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I've heard of people feeling like they were going to "die of pleasure." Apperently for females it's easier to feel this way through oral or fingering than it is through intercourse.

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Hello! sexual female here (lesbian~bisexual, if it changes anything) ^^ This is my first post and english is not my mothertongue, so please excuse my language :? And to moderators, feel free to correct my sentences if necessary.

So. Yes, sex is great, I think. But really not THAT great, most of time. However, it does happen. I never felt like I was going to "die of pleasure" (in fact, never reached orgasm... apart with my own hand :roll:) , but I have had a few really intense sexual experiences: then, I nearly falled on my knees with just one touch... Or once it felt like heaven just because I kissed someone I really loved, I was no longer thinking, the world didn't exist anymore, etc. And a friend of mine (a man) once said to me that, frequently, when he reach orgasm, he nearly faint.

So indeed it is possible to experience this. But it's a rare thing. Most of time, sex is just pleasurable, and sometimes it can be very boring.

For the other question...

Sex in fiction sometimes seems to me ridiculous, yes, when it's exaggerated. It's so funny, it can't possibly be taken seriously. A parody can't excite anybody.

But most of time it turns me on - maybe because I read only good books? ^^ It can be only a physical response... Or more, when emotions are involved or if it's really well written. Depends of the book, so. I'm really not fond of stupid love stories anyway... But I can't pretend sex scenes in litterature bothers me, even if it has nothing to do with the plot, even if it's graphic, I kind of like it.

And some authors say things so true and deep about sex that it's really moving. But it's not the same, I suppose.

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TroyMaclure

In my experience sex has occassionally been truly mindblowing, usually its just fun or nice and occassionally ho hum. On one occassion my wife had such an intense g-spot orgasm that she scared the hell out of me with her convulsions and it caused her to cry (with happiness and a release of hormones) for several minutes afterwards. Other times, like others have said, I have literally fallen asleep during sex.

In my experience mindblowing sex usually only happens when two people happen to connect up when their sex drives are raging and they are emotionally capable of complete abandon. I think for most asexuals it would be impossible to experience it even with a very sexual or skilled partner because you just won't be bringing enough sexual energy to the encounter.

On the other hand, I do think most of the supposedly steamy depictions in novels and the hollywood soaring music and fuzzy lensed sex scenes are just goofy or boring. Erotic novels in particular are usually targeted to women and I have known a few who enjoy occassional "one-handed reading".

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In my experience mindblowing sex usually only happens when two people happen to connect up when their sex drives are raging and they are emotionally capable of complete abandon.

That's true. Thanks.

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Very interesting responses, I really thank you all. Loved your comic, sonofzeal! So, am I like the (asexual?) guys who get those Playboy-type mags to REALLY read the articles? :lol:

:D

"Die of pleasure"!! Yeah right. I wish. From my personal experience, I could tell you that most times I've found sex to be really boring. I'm not asexual and I'm not ashamed to say that I've actually falllen asleep during sex. This is just my opinion, though. I don't get turned on by reading that kinda stuff. I mostly get angry cause it ain't me the one experiencing 'great and wonderful' sex.

*wonders if the quote-thingy is working yet...*

This got me curious. You state that you're sexual but if you usually find sex boring, why do you do it? For kinda the same reasons some asexuals do? (to please the other?) . But do you feel your life would be missing something very important if you didn't have sex--even tho you find it boring? I'm just asking 'cause I'm someone who doesn't like sex and so can't really experience sexual attraction, but if you don't like sex, either, how are we different? Please don't take this wrong in any way, I'm just questioning myself, thanks :)

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Desert_Rose

I dunno, Iv always found erotic literature to be MUCH more stimulating then pornography.

Umm I guess its because it is discriptive, and forces you to image it happening. This gives way to sexual fantasizing. I dont particularily like discovering it in a novel. Unless its a romance novel. Those are basicly just porn for girls.

But I dont think it should have any place in fantasy novels, or murder mysterys or anything like that. I generaly skip over sex scenes.

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Hallucigenia
But I dont think it should have any place in fantasy novels, or murder mysterys or anything like that.

Well, I suppose some girls like their porn with a little dash of actual plot, characters, and setting. :D

Totally facetious remarks aside, you're right, of course. I hate picking up a seemingly interesting book and finding a ton of explicit sex scenes I wasn't looking for. One or two well-written ones that actualy have something to do with the plot, though, is usually fine...

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''I have literally fallen asleep during sex.''

I find this mind-boggling; how did your partner react?! Or were you awake in time to hide it?

Sorry, just curious.

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TroyMaclure

Erica

My partner reacted with a good sense of humour. She knew I was exhausted from my crazy work schedule. She just happened to be particularly horny that day and had pressured me for sex to begin with. I gave her quicky oral sex and she was trying to return the favor when I dozed off. Its not like we were in the midst of intercourse and I started snoring.

She actually thought it was very funny and did her best to see if she could get me to have an orgasm in my sleep. :lol:

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Hi, this is a curiosity-type question and thought I'd post here as I'm looking for responses from sexuals, primarily...

I'm a big fan of reading murder mysteries that are more puzzlers than gory, and I accidently got onto a series I really like (love the protaganist!, Eve Dallas!). The plots are intriguing, good writing and I like the characters. The thing is, these are written by J. D. Robb, which is an psuedonym for Nora Roberts, the romance novelist. So, needless to say, interspersed in these stories are episodes of "hot sex", in detail, no less. My question is, really? Is sex that great and wonderful? Do women feel like they may "die of pleasure" as he "goes in deep"?!! Does reading about this stuff get sexuals turned on? How does it make you feel?

Again, I"m just really curious......thanks!

Really, it depends on the person. Everybody's sexual to their own degree, just like asexuals are all at their own 'level' of asexuality. Some people enjoy such things as you have mentioned from the book, others do not. Still others are indifferent to it, or enjoy/dislike it in varying amounts.

Some sexuals like reading erotic literature, and others who also enjoy it only enjoy certain kinds, perhaps not the kind that you're discussing. Still others find it silly and don't enjoy it at all. And again, others don't care, and blah blah blah...

Personally, I find sex extremely pleasurable if done right, and while I wouldn't say that I was going to 'die of pleasure' in any of those situations, some things have felt better than anything else I have ever experienced. But not all sexuals will even agree on that -- we all experience sex in different ways. Also, I tend to prefer erotic literature to other kinds of 'porn,' and while I enjoy reading romance novels I wouldn't say that they usually turn me on -- most of the erotica I read for that purpose, is a lot more graphic... and usually a lot less realistic, heh.

Also, you need to remember something: romance novels are like porn... they're showy for a reason, and hardly realistic in all circumstances! :)

I've never fallen asleep during sex, although I have dozed off while attempting certain sexual activities at too late of an hour. And I've also been -awakened- with sex -- rather, woken up halfway through. Not in a violating-my-space way, as it was my partner on all occasions and I told him way back when we started dating that such a thing was okay. ;P Some people don't like such behaviour, even from their partner; 'tis why I mentioned it.

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  • 1 month later...
My question is, really? Is sex that great and wonderful? Do women feel like they may "die of pleasure" as he "goes in deep"?!! Does reading about this stuff get sexuals turned on? How does it make you feel?

Again, I"m just really curious......thanks!

"Is sex that great and wonderful?" Yes, it can be, and is for me.

Dying of pleasure - yes, it feels that way.

Not all sexy writing turns me on, but yes, some writing can, very much.

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I like sex scenes in novels; they don't always turn me on, but if I am in that kind of mood anyway they can certainly do the trick.

And I don't know about dying of pleasure, but sometimes with really great sex it feels like everything else disappears and turns into sort of a fuzzy pink feeling...like the feeling you get after a really great stretch or massage only so much more. If I'm with a partner I really care about and we are connecting emotionally, this is much more likely to occur, though I've had it with masturbation too. It really is one of the best feelings I've ever experienced.

I mean, if you really think about it it's all holes and friction and, well, body stuff, but it can feel more than physical too.

It's really hard to describe. :oops:

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People! Does it occur to you guys that they only-only-only write that smut to sell the book??? It's called marketing! And marketing executives believe in the philosophy that "sex sells." That's why the Swedish Bikini Team advertises beer, and that's why (until feminists complained -- and rightly so) cars were advertized with girls in skimpy clothes draped over the hood (in fact -- believe it or not -- at a European auto show in the 60's -- the models draped over the cars actually had no clothes at all!), and etc... I could go on for pages & pages... It's all advertizing, all the time. And further, I'm sick of Bob selling Enzyte on TV!

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  • 1 month later...
It's all advertizing, all the time.

Well, yes, but sex sells for a reason. The advertising guys didn't make it up out of the blue... "hey boys, today let's invent something that will make everyone want to drink our beer."

Sure it's a fantasy, but fantasies are okay. And novels, even the trashy ones are a form of art. Art's all about stimulating the viewer's/reader's imagination, sometimes to imagine something realistic that they've experienced many times, sometimes to imagine something that they never have, and never will experience.

So "dying with pleasure", I don't know. Sex can be amazing. It's alchemical, so it can go wrong easily, but when it's right it's like nothing else.

-Chiaroscuro

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It's all advertizing, all the time.

Well, yes, but sex sells for a reason. The advertising guys didn't make it up out of the blue... "hey boys, today let's invent something that will make everyone want to drink our beer."

On the other hand - all those places you see with "Girls! Girls! Girls!" written all over the place.... it's a form of high pressure salesmanship. If people were really as obsessed as all those places would have you believe, they wouldn't have to spend so much money on giant posters and flashing lights to try to entice you in.

As for the advertising angle, well, the goal of most advertisements is to associate the product with some concept that people like, and at last count at least 95% of the population has at least mildly positive associations for sex. It's not that sex is the most overwhelmingly positive association for those people, it's that it's a remarkably consistent one. Small cuddly cute things are probably just as universally positive, and they get used just as much as sex in advertising. I can't think of anything else off the top of my head that an advertiser could count on such a broad section of the target market liking to at least some degree.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Hi, this is a curiosity-type question and thought I'd post here as I'm looking for responses from sexuals, primarily...

I'm a big fan of reading murder mysteries that are more puzzlers than gory, and I accidently got onto a series I really like (love the protaganist!, Eve Dallas!). The plots are intriguing, good writing and I like the characters. The thing is, these are written by J. D. Robb, which is an psuedonym for Nora Roberts, the romance novelist. So, needless to say, interspersed in these stories are episodes of "hot sex", in detail, no less. My question is, really? Is sex that great and wonderful? Do women feel like they may "die of pleasure" as he "goes in deep"?!! Does reading about this stuff get sexuals turned on? How does it make you feel?

Again, I"m just really curious......thanks!

Hello Fuzzrules,

I am a sexual woman.

I have some "treasures' that I love reading. "The Sleeping Beauty Novels" by Anne Rice (A.N. Roquelaure).

A must read for the sexually curious. :wink: It's about love, sexuality, human nature, and the human will. It is very explicit, but no porn. There are some fascinating observations about human behavior, emotions and what lies deep inside each one of us. Pleasure and pain blur together. It's a piece of Art. I love it. AND THEY TURN ME ON.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Wow. The answers to the questions were really interesting. I realized once again that I really don't think about life, the universe and everything in the same way that much of the rest of the world does.

I generally tend to be so clueless about sexual innuendo in advertising that I only rarely notice that it exists. I have to actually concentrate to even notice, for anything except for really blatant stuff, like half naked people. One day I actually managed to notice and it was insane. I think I shut down again after that in self-defense. I don't usually "get" the innuendo in those commercials advertised to help guys with their erections, either.

For literature, I skip over all the sex scenes, although I sometimes like reading through parts where they're cuddling or something. For that matter, I usually skip over any scenes with physical fighting, too, because I don't like conflict. No wonder I get through science fiction books so quickly!

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I nearly falled on my knees with just one touch... Or once it felt like heaven just because I kissed someone I really loved, I was no longer thinking, the world didn't exist anymore, etc.

I've felt this way many times but it's completely non-sexual.

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  • 2 months later...

I know sometimes what you read in those books can be cheesi, but the feelings they describe do happen.

I mean, if you enjoy sex and you are with someone you trust and conect on a sexual level ... it can be the most amazing experience. You may think you are in heaven and all!

Of course is not like this every time, but when it happens, is quite interesting .

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I nearly falled on my knees with just one touch... Or once it felt like heaven just because I kissed someone I really loved, I was no longer thinking, the world didn't exist anymore, etc.

I've felt this way many times but it's completely non-sexual.

I identify as asexual, but I've felt like this once or twice. Only when there was an amazing connection between me and the guy. But it wasn't really sexual, it was more spiritual.

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Do women feel like they may "die of pleasure" as he "goes in deep"?!!

Again, I"m just really curious......thanks!

I asked my gf this and she said "oh yeah". She also reads the Laurel K. Hamilton books so i have to assume shes into romance novels of some sort.

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  • 3 weeks later...
My question is, really? Is sex that great and wonderful? Do women feel like they may "die of pleasure" as he "goes in deep"?!! Does reading about this stuff get sexuals turned on? How does it make you feel?

Again, I"m just really curious......thanks!

for me.. romance novel sex = exaggerated cheesefest *and i am very, very sexual*

i have never felt that i was going to "die of pleasure" *though i can say that i have had some sex that made me feel like WOW!*

i'm highly visual *meaning i get turned on by pictures and looking at my partner *which i find is unusual in other women, we usually get aroused better with other senses* but romance novels are so ludicrously styilized that it's comical... sex isn't always that perfect.. especially when you're new at it..

it's a learning experience like no other.. it's also not worth doing if you have no desire for it.. it can be painful in more ways than one for both parties if you're not aroused..

sex is something that can't be forced.. it shouldn't be rushed..

if it's meant to happen, it will and i gaurantee it's not like those stupid ass romance rags say it is.. it's better when it'sa little akward and full of laughter and experimentation, but most importantly, love!

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