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Do people know you are Asexual in real life?


Soldier455

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pencilsmudges

I think at this point the majority of my friends know, though I've forgotten how it came up lol. typically I'm not in the habit of talking about my sexuality, often because it's a subject I'm not always comfortable with and there's aspects of it I'm still not sure about. of my family I could probably tell my dad and my sister, although the latter would likely start asking too many questions (she certainly had a barrage when I admitted I didn't want to have kids). since my mother recently tried to set me up with a stranger I highly doubt she'd understand or that an explanation would even stick, so there's that.

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SamwiseLovesLife

I'm out to everyone :) I find lying confusing and anyone who isn't comfortable can suck it :P

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It's never really come up in conversation so haven't bothered telling anyone. It's just not that important.

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No, and in my mind it ain't worth the effort

Too much hassle for the reason 

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OnMatchPoint

No... people know I'm apathetic about the whole dating thing, though. And for the entirety of my existence I have always (a) preferred animals to people, and (b) had absolutely no intention of getting married, so no one really pushes the matter. I could proverbially come out, but why? Then it would be an Issue debated at family gatherings, and a topic of discussion, etc... quite frankly I prefer to just fly under the radar.

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No one in my real life knows. I have a friend in America who knows because she is also asexual and it was through her I  first heard the term. 

 

I also have 3 Facebook friends who know, although I have never met any of them. One is also asexual. The other 2 are very open to the LGBTQ community so I knew me mentioning it wouldn't bother them in the slightest.

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GRexCarolinii

I have a few friends who kinda know, though.... I don't trust how much some of them understand?

A few I do trust, but always get skittish when trying to talk about it

Couple of them I've sued the term with don't really seem to get it, 
but it's never really worth the effort in the sense that...
I'm still hetero-romantic, so as far as they are concerned I am effectively straight

As with parents... no interest in telling Dad; but doubt he'd honestly care about anything.
Tried to tell my mum once, but think I beat around it too much
and she just responded with a sort of "noone likes it"
which... is not true at all?
(but in all honestly, I think she might well be ace... me definitely being the product of too much alcohol drunk with Dad than anything else, and sure as hell not gonig to ask for more details)
I've basically given up on telling both parents cause yeah

I would like to be more open though, even if it seemingly makes no difference to most people

just because.... I dunno, it's quite a big deal
and it would be  nice to be able to talk to people irl about it

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Yes, I've told my friends and family. Not everyone knows, but if it comes up I tell people. I've never had much issues with people not knowing what I mean. My friends mostly just said "okay." My parents had maybe a very slightly negative reaction (nothing bad, just some misunderstandings). For instance my mom said "you're too young," and "maybe you haven't met the right person." And my dad was sad because he thought this means I won't have kids (I want to adopt, however). I've never had to explain to peers really, beyond maybe a couple clarifying questions.

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They most definitely don't. I don't wish to tell them either tbh, because i don't really like talking my 'sexual preferences ' with others, although it'd be nice to have it recognised and heard. Also it's known that most of the times that is not the case sadly. Case on point my mother, the only person i came out to and that despite her belief about the mandatory of sex at some point in life, she seems to have kinda accepted it, although she's also apparently convinced i've 'never found the right person and thus never tried it'.<_<

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ace.of.hearts13

I've told two close friends, because they're both really accepting and it feels good to have it off my chest.  As for my family, I'm probably never going to tell them, because I know my brother won't accept it, my dad is questionable because he's pretty conservative, and even though my mom would be accepting, she'd probably cry or something. I get so tired of hiding things but I just can't deal with it.

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I've told nearly all of my friends and it's not a big deal to any of them. As for my family, I probably won't be doing any kind of formal announcement. If relationships or sexual attraction came up in conversation I wouldn't lie about my feelings, but as a family we really don't talk about stuff like that.

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I used to be quiet about it, but it was less of embarrassment and more of I just didn't care about what others thought of me, and explaining what an asexual was over and over again made me feel like an outsider. All that flew out the window as soon as I got into college, and I got asked out 6 times in that first month. Some of them were just horny, I won't lie, but some of them were genuinely nice people and even my own friends, and I ended up hurting some of their feelings by being indecisive. I came out after that. I didn't want to have something like that happen again, and it did make my own life a lot easier by just throwing it all to the wind.

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StrandedX02

My two closest friends know. I've mentioned it kind of casually to acquaintances if it seemed relevant to the conversation. Before I identified as asexual, I told people that I didn't care about dating or relationships (again, if relevant to the conversation). And then there are people (like my coworkers, back when I worked in an office) who interacted with me regularly over years and never heard me talk about a romantic interest, so they probably drew some sort of conclusion based on that.

 

I'll probably never have any sort of formal conversation with my parents, sister, or other relatives. For one thing, it doesn't have an effect on their day-to-day lives; I'm in my early 30s and live hundreds of miles from any other member of my family. I'm pretty sure my parents or other older relatives wouldn't really get it anyway. And my sister sort of knows without my having said anything to her. We were roommates for a few years and I never came home with anyone, so that should be a pretty big clue that this isn't an area of life that motivates me all that much. And when I was visiting her earlier in the year, her fiance made some sort of lighthearted comment about me and women, and she definitely shot him a little look to be like "don't say that" or "he doesn't care." 

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If people ask me I tell them I'm asexual but more often than not they tell me, "you just haven't met the right person yet" or "you'll think differently when your older" but luckily my friends are more supportive than my family. Coming out is annoying because I have to keep explaining it to people, I used to not mind explaining it but now I find it annoying because it's 2017 and I'm still having to explain to people.

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only my closest friend (who appears to be ace too) and my cousin knows, we dont even pick up the topic 99% of the time

my other friends and classmates arent aware of this, because i think that if i told them, they would make even more nun jokes about me

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I don't lie about my orientation, but I'm not shouting it from the rooftops, either. Eventually, people will figure it out, or I'll tell them. 

 

That being said, I do already describe myself as 'ace' in conversation, and on FB, and and and.... people just don't seem to catch on. 

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A few very close friends know I've been questioning but idk if I'm ready to tell them what I've concluded. More cause they only just found out and I don't want them assuming I didn't spend time contemplating before changing my labels. But I suppose that is quite silly. Kinda sucks cause I deffo want to share this with them.

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I have never explicitly told or discussed it with anyone, even family members. I think it is nobody else’s business, and I wouldn’t expect anyone else to talk to me about their orientation any more that I would be prepared to discuss mine.

 

Having said that, I suspect that people who know me well do know, and I am kind of surprised that nobody has ever directly asked me. I would have thought that the fact that I have never had a partner or the inclination to seek one would make people realise what I am.

 

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Skycaptain

As I've just walked through a crowded hotel foyer wearing an Asexual t-shirt (muchas graçias) I think everyone here has got the message :P:P

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Anomaly Q3Xr

I am open about my asexuality in real life.  And a quick look at my Facebook profile would make it evident too.  I've lost a couple of "friends" because of it, but I'd rather be open and honest, and have the right friends that accept me for who I am.

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MiraMeyneth

I'm out to my close friends and immediate family, but beyond that there's nobody. I act incredibly ace in real life towards everyone I meet, but nobody catches on. I think once I get older I'll start getting the inevitalble "Why haven't you had a boyfriend yet?" questions, but I really don't care. I'm practically married to my laptop and car anyway¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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cosmichobo

My sister, college friends, and best high school friend all know. I mentioned it "casually" to my mom once when the subject came up for some reason, but I don't think it really sunk in for her. Pretty sure she and the rest of my family think I'm just gay because they've never seen me with a guy. :lol:

 

 

In general, I think asexuality is still one of those things that just isn't taken seriously yet so people unfortunately tend to keep it to themselves more often than not.

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A few friends know and some of my family

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I've told just one of my friends and that's because i knew she will be supportive.

I haven't told any of my other friends, idk i don't feel comfortable telling them yet.. but they might have a hunch since I often say that I'm not interested in dating or in other people.

ahh and well it's kind of difficult situation with my parents... I don't think I'll ever say anything to them. My stepdad is probably one of the most bigotted person I know and I don't have a very good relationship with my mom.. 

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I have mentioned this once before on aven, but 2 people know I am ace in real life.

The first person is a family member who tried to convince me to go the hospital to get checked, then told me to not tell anyone that I am ace. The other person is a coworker who knew what asexuality was and was excited to find out I was ace.

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ozzythefabulous

Most people i know are aware as i'm very open about it if asked

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Stephmaboii

My closest friend helped me figure it out. Shes really the only one that knows, and believes me.

I tried telling my family, but they think it's just something i'm going through, and treat me like i'm throwing a tantrum or something.

I think after that I've been more inclined to keep it to myself in fear of people trying to push me in a different direction for their own weird reasons. 

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I'm out to my friends, and I was out to two coworkers but they both got fired very shortly afterward so I don't plan on telling anyone at work ever again. (The getting fired and my coming out were completely unrelated, it was just bad timing). I attempted to come out to my mother, but it was not well received. She threatened to send me to a doctor to get tested. And one of my uncles knows. 

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The LGBT community has been a great help in me feeling excepted, but mostly welcomed and not as a freak, but as a person.

  I told my parents about three years ago, I knew my mother would be cool about it. But, I was worried my dad wouldn't understand, now I think he has a vague idea. But, telling those two is what matter too me. I don't give a rats ass what others think anymore. I spent to long worrying about those things. I spent too many years on a death bed. Now that I have a second changes. Worrying what people think is meaningless and a waiste of good energy. 

But, everyone that identifies as an LGBT some how seems to know who and what asexual is. So that's a huge start. There will always be bigots and haters, even with social evolution. 

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Guest Jetsun Milarepa

My colleagues knew I was going to the Madrid Pride last weekend and a few were asking me about it. It was a great chance to educate them!

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