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Islander9

FORUM FOR OLDER ASEXUALS

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Islander9

Okay good people, this is the place where all of us who are

*older! (I'm 59)

*interested in talking about matters that concern older people! (could be your mum! Dad! Nana! partner! if you're younger-)

*intrigued by the last 50 years of history & experience in everything from music to cooking!

Let talking about the good times roll!

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thylacine

Hi. I'm in my early 40's. Do I count as older since most people around here are college kids? Anyway, for over 40 years, I've never been interested in sex, but you already knew that, right? :D

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Amcan

As This thread - click shows there will be a full forum for older asexuals in the near future.

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alepunk

linear time is a man made concept, age only matters if you're cheese.........in dog years i'm old in light years i'm way too young and in human years i'm ????

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Ziffler

I used to say age was only a state of mind. You are only as old as you feel or as old as you think you are.

Well, My body has taught me something. It's old. I hurt places I never hurt before after doing very little to cause it. :D :D :D

So any youngin's come in here to read what us old farts are saying. Do everything you want to do NOW while your body is still able to do them, cause even if you think you will stay young forever in your mind, Your body will get old. :D :D :D

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RekrabMot

One of my (A-level) teachers always used to say

"You are as old as the woman you feel"

Oddly enough I don't feel old at all

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alepunk

i just think people use the ol' "i'm just getting old" too often and to blame too many problems that have nothing to do with ageing............i heard many people say "since i'm in my 30s 40s, i just can't keep the weight off"....................Some people live lifetimes of bad habits, poor eating habits, no exercise, comprmising their beliefs to please others or to fit in........................well after 30 or 40 years of eating bad yes, people may put on a few pounds.............the ageing proccess can be retarded and even reverse to a certain point................with proper care, youcan keep a classic car in mint condition, and everyone loves a "classic"

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Islander9

Amcam - I think older people have waited quite long enough.

I find it insulting that a legitimate grouping of asexuals is denied a seperate forum. As I pm'd you, this 'forum' was a deliberate provocation and I trust it has a proper and happy resolution- a forum for people of much older years than yours'.

If there is going to be a control on this kind of stufff - bye bye, I'm outa here. While I delight in talking to all kinds of asexuals, there is only so much stuff about college woes I can take - and why should any adolescent be interested in my executrix dealings? Or arthritic tips?

So: 3 days.

If there isnt a seperate forum set up for older/old asexuals by then, I wont be back.

O, Alepunk? Just how old are you?

I've been specific - I'm 59. I DONT use my age as an excuse - it is an explanation as to why I can no longer carry 2 bags of cement (which I could, in my 20s) or even 1 (which I could in my 40s - they weigh, here, 90lb.) As you grow older, muscle fibres,and joint material, grow less - you are simply no longer capable of the same feats of strength as you were when younger.

And dont let's get on to the energy thing!!!! :twisted:

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dyyanae
i just think people use the ol' "i'm just getting old" too often and to blame too many problems that have nothing to do with ageing............i heard many people say "since i'm in my 30s 40s, i just can't keep the weight off"....................Some people live lifetimes of bad habits, poor eating habits, no exercise, comprmising their beliefs to please others or to fit in........................well after 30 or 40 years of eating bad yes, people may put on a few pounds.............the ageing proccess can be retarded and even reverse to a certain point

Um...not always. While this is a legitimate point in some cases, please understand that not all aging/health issues are caused by lifestyle. Certain illnesses and disorders such as Rhuematoid Arthritis, MS, Lupus, and (my particular enemy) Sjorgen's Syndrome really don't give a damn how healthy a diet and excercise regimen you kept. And they often first strike when one is in their late 30's early 40's.

Again, I understand that there is a high increase in some disorders like type II diabetes, high cholesterol and blood pressure related to poor diet and lack of excercise but, as with anything else, it is not a 100% certainty that everyone with a problem has the same underlying cause.

Thanks for listening.

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KAGU143

I have never been able to carry more than 1 bag of cement, although it never even occurred to me to try back when I was young enough to have a reasonable chance of doing so. I always lived in a rental situation of some sort until I was 40-something, so I never had to deal with cement until fairly recently.

I know that I could carry 2 50lb feed sacks with no trouble up until I was in my 30's, but then I went through a period of time when I only had small birds. By the time I needed to carry feed sacks again I could only manage 1 at a time. I think part of that is due to nerve damage because I can't tolerate much pressure AT ALL on my right shoulder, but it is STILL annoying to me.

How DARE this body wear out! I'm not done with it yet, and nobody else is going to do these chores!

That old "use it or lose it" adage is SOOO true.

-Greybird

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Jesh

Hmm... I'm seventeen and I can't lift more than maybe ten pounds :|

'course, that's mostly due to my chronic fatigue. But still! My muscles and joints are worse than my mother's, and she's had to have a hip replaced.

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Amcan

Islander9 - There WILL be a forum. It WILL be created AFTER the technical problems have been solved with AVEN.

We do not want to create a forum and then have it freeze or disappear or collapse.

I want to reiterate it WILL be created but it might not be within the 3 days you want it to be. If you don't want to wait then fair enough but it is coming. There is an announcement in the Announcements forum.

We would rather make sure AVEN is okay rather than have a forum which is prone to technical glitches.

I will also reiterate that everyone will be free to post in it regardless of age although as it is aimed at older asexuals I doubt us younger ones will have anything to say. Just as, according to your own example, older asexuals have little interest in college woes.

We are not denying older asexuals.

I am also PMing you this reply.

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Hallucigenia

I imagine that this thread and the forum aren't exactly incompatiable. When the forum is finally made, this thread can be moved there. No big.

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alepunk

I'm past college age, i guess because in my teens and early 20s i had such bad injuries, i had pain all the time and felt very weak..........Docs said my back injuires were only gonna get worst unless and maybe even if i had a very serious surgery...............I chose not to get the sugery and had the belief that i could heal myself, and i did.......i reverse the damage and the kat scans showed it................A doc told me when i was 21 i would never run a block again, and since i've done 2 triathlons, and can leg press 380lbs something i couldn't do in my teens or even 20s........................My good friend beat the all around body buliding very though competition at 44, he beat all the 20something and 30 something.........didn't mean disrespect and i'm not 59 yet or even close to it............but i hope i'll be 80 and still hiking, swimming,running,lifting weights and talking shit.. :))

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alepunk

i take what i had said earlier back, about disagreeing about the older asexual forum, mainly because i had not read the post that anyone can still post on it..heheh....................i am a firm believer that health wise, energy wise we are what we eat........sugar and caffeine are energy zappers, a lot of how we feel is about a balance ph in our blood between acid and alkaline, sugar, porcessed food ect are very acidic, and caffeine drains the adrenal glands, leafy greens and foods rich in antioxidants plus drinking a lot of water keep the body from deteriorating faster......... at any age........

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Tanwen

It was a majority decision, people were asked their opinions and voted accordingly. Did you register your disagreement at the time?

Some older people are uncomfortable with immediately joining in threads where the majority are obviously familiar with computers - the younger generation have grown up with them, my generation has had to adapt and my ignorance often shows.

So, with patience and understanding on both sides, we could learn from each other.

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bard of aven

May I be permitted to counsel patience, Islander? We're all volunteers here, and I think it makes sense to straighten out the update bugs before adding the new forum.

boa, merely 55

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Xenon

What Boa said

-- still only 43

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Goonie

I guess the update was just bad timing. I may be wrong, but I don't think any of the younger mods have an issue with the idea of an older forum for asexuals, so they aren't holding it down in some legal process or anything like that.

From an geeks perspective, I would hate to create a new forum, have people post in it, and then it be gone due to a technical glitch...

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thylacine

1st, I'd like to say that the forum for persons of a mature vintage is an excellent concept...

2nd, there is no reason why "grown ups" cannot have interests with regard to college, or anything in common with college kids. There are many adults returning to college and / or school in general. Locally, I read in the newspaper that an 80-something year old woman got her high school diploma. She needed to quit school when she was young to work and help support her family during the Depession. So it was always her dream to return to school and graduate. You are never too old to fulfull any of your dreams... don't forget that.

And 3rd, when you reach a certain point in your life and find it slightly more difficult to do some of the things you could do so easily at nineteen, don't think of yourself as wearing out, think of yourself as breaking in.

Lastly, it is a good idea to have a location for adults to gather because people outside of this realm will most likely continue on to insist that "these kids just haven't got it on yet, wait until they meet that special someone." Yeah, right. Here we shall have a collection of ageing baby boomers who never got hip to that Groovy Free Love stuff, man! Can yah dig it?

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mouth brooder

If a forum for people who have lived longer (the most graceful way I could think of saying older) will facilitate more discussion for those of us middle aged and beyond, then I will be grateful.

The asexuality theme of AVEN is not necessarily the strongest reason for my having found a significant online (SO) community.

I've drifted in and out of many forums over the past dozen years, and in my experience AVEN members in general have proven to me to be the most sensitive, conscientious, intelligent, sincerely friendly, and insightful bunch, regardless of individual ages.

I lurked here for a long time before posting because this forum was too nice to hit and run.

I know I can come across as a real pompous smart ass--partly because I am, but also partly because my target age group is just too wide. I could use all the help I can get to come across more humbly, and I think an Older Folks forum would do that. :D

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Tanwen

It is going to happen Dio, it's just been slightly delayed because of a few bugs waiting to be sorted out, it has nothing whatsoever to do with anyone cnesoring or denying older members a voice. You may have noticed a few months ago that posts were wiped out because of a few hiccups with the site. It's better to wait till they're sorted out, than risk losing the forum.

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Brodertun

I must admit I don't see a real age difference between the olders and the younger. But then I did recently have an "older" person :wink: say that I gave off the impression that I was in my thirties, so maybe that's why i don't see the difference there.

The only difference i've notice is between the teenagers and those out of high school. And I rather think a large part of that has to do with the high school environment.

I just hope the form isn't actually caled "for older asexuals." I like the idea of something like "asexuality and aging" or something like that, so it appears as a more inclusive section than a divisive one.

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Amcan

This will be the forum title and summary (Greybird had this brilliant idea):

Asexuality and Different Life Stages

A forum mainly geared toward discussion of issues facing the more mature asexuals, but open to everybody.

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Ziffler

You can certainly tell this is an oldtimers forum after the first couple posts. :D :D :D Aches, Pains, Sickness, Old Bones, High Blood Pressure etc, etc, etc, etc,. :D :D :D :D

Well I'm 53 and I try to take care of my body. Member of fitness center. Workout 2 to 3 times a week depending on how many aches I have that day. :D :D :D

All my life I alternated types of employments. I'd work manual labor job, then change to easy sitting job, then back to manual labor then back to sitting. I'm in a manual labor job now.

Each had its drawbacks. Manual labor obviously don't pay as well and you get lots of aches and pains. Sit down job, stress, high blood pressure, body fat and ache in the brain instead of the muscles.

I left my last job of 15 years because my blood pressure jumped 20 points just driving onto the parking lot, before I even started the day. Can't live long when your job affects you like that. :D :D :D

Now I have a job that I get plenty of exercise, blood pressure is down and I'm not working 18 hours a day like before. No Stress. Course I make one fourth the salary so alot of the extras had to go. Just the simple life now. :D :D :D

I don't use old age as an excuse for anything. But it is a reality. I do what I want to do when I want to do it, I just gotta watch how I do it now where before it didn't matter if I lifted something wrong or stretched to far or banged into something to hard.

Youngin's believe what you will about eating properly and exercising properly and all that other stuff. Yes it's good to do, BUT it won't stop aging. You will still get old. :D :D :D

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KAGU143
Ziffler wrote:

Youngin's believe what you will about eating properly and exercising properly and all that other stuff. Yes it's good to do, BUT it won't stop aging. You will still get old. :D :D :D

Yeah, getting old can be a royal pain sometimes, but it sure beats the alternative!

Also 53, self-employed, happily eccentric, rich and poor at the same time, single again, and lovin' every minute of it!

-Greybird

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Islander9

*needs* to include the word OLDER-

let's not distort things; yes, there are life stages. Yes, some of them are relevant to us all (death happens to us all.)

But older people have a VERY different perspective on life stages!

30 years ago - all I wanted was my own home.

20 years ago - all I wanted was for my family people to grow up well.

10 years ago- I got really interested as to why some of us were sick-

NOW, I'm trying to understand human life process/es-

my absorptions/obsessions do NOT make any sense to people in their teens or twenties (and they shouldnt!)nor do any of my life stories-roll on a real Older

People's Forum-

o, I dont mean to suggest that my paticular concerns have anything to do with anyone else- just that they generally have nothing to do with younger people...

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Amcan

I actually think some poeple might object to the word older in that it can be seen as derogatory.

The Older Forum?

Would that be better?

The explanaiton of the forum makes it clear to me who it is aimed at.

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Aeriel

Wow, all of a sudden there is a lot to comment on here!

alepunk makes some good points about nutrition and care of the body; all the things mentioned can help you feel better and avoid or minimize stuff like diabetes and acid reflux. One of the problems with aging that I've found diet can't help is injuries. By the time we're 50, we've usually been banged around some; so far, I've broken both wrists, snapped a tendon in my calf, had numerous whiplash-type injuries, dislocated a shoulder and have chronic back pain. And I'm the healthiest 56 year old woman I know; most of my contemporaries are on a couple of different drugs and doctor visits have become their hobby.

The work I do is very physical; I'm on my feet the whole time, lifting heavy stuff, working in zero degrees and I probably walk about 6 miles during the course of a shift. 20 years ago I could have done that with relative ease; these days I leave in pain thinking, "I'm too old for this!". And it doesn't matter how many glasses of water I drink, or green leafy vegetables I eat, I'm still 56 and things hurt.

As islander9 said, the things that interest and concern me would be of little interest to someone younger. Likewise, much as I love and appreciate all of AVEN, I find accounts of youthful angst over sexuality or anything else irrelevant and uninteresting now. I can sympathize, but not really advise; that part of my life is long gone and was spent in a different world.

I hope everyone will have patience as the admins and mods get the forum up and running. I think it will be worth waiting for.

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KAGU143

I am thinking that this thread is a sample, in microcosm, of what the older forum will eventually become.

I know that I fully intend to lift this thread and move it there as soon as it becomes possible.

Islander, I guess my reason for choosing the term "life stages" is biased by my position as mod. I wanted to make a forum that is geared toward middle-aged AVEN-ites as well as those of us who are *ahem* slowly creeping past that point.

I'm not personally attached to that name, however. Changing the name and description of a forum is a minor thing, and any admin can do it at any time. Under normal circumstances it doesn't even cause a moment's hesitation for the board. (I say normal circumstances, because right now I wouldn't dare try to change anything - not even my profile!)

We (all of us "elders") can always think up ideas for a forum name while we wait for DJ to sort out the programming bugs that are making AVEN so, um .... glitchy.

It'll give us something to do.

How about:

"Middle Age and Beyond - For Older Asexuals"

The description that goes under the title is important too. I have all sorts of ideas for that, depending on my mood, but here's a sample:

"Age-related issues affect everybody, and asexuals are no exception."

No matter what name we eventually decide on, it can always be revised if a change is needed.

Time for input, people!

What are your ideas?

-Greybird

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