Kitteη χ Posted April 20, 2019 Share Posted April 20, 2019 Stop everything you're doing, grab their hand, hold it up in the air, and start screaming "AAASSSEEEXXXUUUAAALLLLLLLL" at the top of you lungs. How should I respond if some tries to tell me that my asexuality is "just a phase"? 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AllTimeBubble Posted April 20, 2019 Share Posted April 20, 2019 Dye your hair black and scream "ITS NOT A PHASE MUMMM" While jamming to music. BAM you just became an emo, problem solved Can asexuals be romantic? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted April 20, 2019 Author Share Posted April 20, 2019 Yes, some people living in the Romantic era were asexual. What do asexuals do with the time that would have been spent having sex? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
IrishArcher Posted April 20, 2019 Share Posted April 20, 2019 Self-improvement mostly. Sometimes we take up fun hobbies like knitting sweaters for our cats. Is sexuality fluid? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Custard Cream Posted April 20, 2019 Share Posted April 20, 2019 No, it's crystalline and dissolves in water. What does an AVEN admod do? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
OmegaTheMetamorphicDreamer Posted April 20, 2019 Share Posted April 20, 2019 It's their job to hunt down all the sexuals that sneak in here and exterminate them before they can infect us with their sexuality. Asexuals are an endangered species after all. Can aces choose to be straight? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Constellation Posted April 20, 2019 Share Posted April 20, 2019 I don't think anyone can choose how their body is built. Some people are straight and some are curvy, it isn't really something you decide. How can I make friends around the forums? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RoseGoesToYale Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 Look up all the Shakespeare sonnets, replace all romantic mentions with the word "cake", and go around serenading individual members. (Actually, it might work on some ) What I should I do if my partner wants to sleep with me but I don't? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AmorphousBlob Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 Buy two sleeping bags, and sleep right next to each other without touching. There! Compromise. What is a QPR? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Custard Cream Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 quip/pun ratio. the average number of puns per post. Currently, @Skycaptain is topping the leaderboard with a score of 0.79. what should you do if you post on the wrong AVEN board in error? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AmorphousBlob Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 Live the rest of your life in shame, peasant. Where can I find other people like me? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 In a mirror Can I fall in love as an asexual? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Custard Cream Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 No. You need to either jump over love or walk across the surface instead. Where can I get a black ring? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SilverstarTBS Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 First you must gather these five items in the exact order. This is crucial. 1. A grain of salt (exactly ONE grain) 2. An ounce of black dye collected from a squid 3. A piece of hair from a master asexual 4. A small block of wood weighing exactly 1.34929198 pounds 5. A slice of cake (preferably asexual colors) After you have obtained these items, draw a circle on the ground with the ink. Place the cake inside the circle on top of the small block of wood. Put the grain of salt on top of the cake, and set the hair next to it. Dance around the circle swinging your arms wildly and chanting "ace ace ace ace ace ace ace ace" exactly 10.25298481 times. After this, scream incoherently and flap your arms like a dragon. The circle will emit black fog for a minute, then settle. Your black ring will be in the middle of a glowing circle. Do not touch it until exactly 5.7 hours later. How do I know for sure I'm asexual? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nineGardens Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 On your sixteenth birthday, on the night where all your friends are busy hooking up, a angel in the shape of a ships wheel will descend from he heavens. There will be a great blaring of trumpets, followed by a slightly more awkward xylophone solo, and then you will be presented with a postit note, upon which will be written: "Thou ist an Ace. Good luck, kiddo" Then the Patron saint of asexuality and the hindu goddess of maybe will give you a job interview, and your truest heart will guide your voice, and they will pronounce you "not into sex" If any of these things fail to happen, or if any of them do not happen in this precise order, then you are not a real Asexual, and you will be band from the forum. What is with all this cake? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
IrishArcher Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 It's cake. Are you complaining? How do I tell someone I have a squish on them? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AmorphousBlob Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 If you're leaving a footprint on their back, you're probably squishing them. Is asexuality a disease/disorder? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hunji Qi Posted April 22, 2019 Share Posted April 22, 2019 It is indeed, if you suspect that you have it, you should probably go see a specialist and get prescribed to eat a lot of cakes three times per day hoping that you will be cured someday. What is the difference between romantic attraction and sexual attraction? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
OmegaTheMetamorphicDreamer Posted April 22, 2019 Share Posted April 22, 2019 Sexual and romantic are just synonyms that are used interchangeably. Don't worry, people get confused about that all the time. Are asexuals part of the LGBT community? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Phantasmal Fingers Posted April 23, 2019 Share Posted April 23, 2019 Haven't you realised by now that all members of AVEN fall into just two categories? Everyone here is either a man who isn't getting any because his dick is too small or a Lesbian who isn't sure whether using a strap-on dildo is a sign of penis envy or a rape fantasy. Which type are you? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Constellation Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 QWERTY. I can also type with an abc keyboard, but I’m more used to the qwerty board. What’s the ritual to meet other aces? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 Stand at a major intersection with a big sign that says "I'm asexual; are you?" How many times do I have to have sex to be sure I'm asexual? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
firewallflower Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 At least once with every person you meet. You never know who the right person will be. Is asexuality an oppressed identity? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AmorphousBlob Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 Yes, but only if you use a hydraulic press. How do you become asexual? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
IrishArcher Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 You get thee to a nunnery and take a sacred vow of chastity. Are there any asexual celebrities? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 No. When you become asexual you take a vow of invisibility. How should I respond to people that say I just haven’t found the right person? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hunji Qi Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 Have you come across every single of the 7 billion people in the world and yet still are not attracted to anyone? If not, you probably have not found the right one so you should not argue against those people who say so. How should I combat the invisibility of my asexual identity? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nineGardens Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 Like many secret identities, invisibility is actually an advantage, and can allow you to make use of such things as espionage, prison escapes, hardcore journalism and acquiring your choice of princes/princesses from Dragon towers. Perhaps you meant "How should I combat USING invisibility granted by my asexual identity"? Is Ace part of LGBT community? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Pandark Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 Yes, just like sheep are part of the animal kingdom. Could you explain the difference between celibacy and being religiously ace? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
firewallflower Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 There is no difference. They're the exact same thing. Speaking of religion, is asexuality considered sinful? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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