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How not to answer a newbie


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It really should be the non-color of the sucking eldritch void that exists where an ace's soul should be. But black is as close as you're likely to get from any mortal jeweler.

 

What do aces do to fill their soul-void?

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KuraTheChibiSleepingBeauty

 

They have quarter souls, made of actual quarters.

 

My ace ring is made of rainbow hematite. Does that make me extra ace? 

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  • 1 month later...

No, it makes you queer instead of ace.

 

How do I tell the difference between alterous and romantic attraction?

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  • 4 weeks later...
KuraTheChibiSleepingBeauty

You don't. It's incomprehensible. 

 

Is it true that dragons have to be invited to cake parties? 

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KuraTheChibiSleepingBeauty

Like flocks of penguins, only with cake and garlic bread. 

 

How many letters will the LGBT+ acronym have until there's enough? 

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42

 

With all of these cake icons and images how do I get the cake out of my computer?

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3 hours ago, daveb said:

42

 

With all of these cake icons and images how do I get the cake out of my computer?

You must invite a sexual over to your house and give them a wand to wave over the computer.  Provide them with a list of disgusting phrases to utter, like "Lookin' good, baBEE!" and "Hey, you and me, capisce?".   The cake bits will jump out of your computer and run out the nearest door.   

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Egads! I think I'll leave the cake alone then. :P 

 

Your turn to ask a question. :) 

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  • 2 months later...
fantastic mx. foxglove

You can never ask questions. Questions will get you hunted by the Cake Reaper.

 

Can I still be asexual if I've had sex with my partner?

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  • 2 weeks later...
fantastic mx. foxglove

It means you split your body in half, one has sex with a partner, while the other makes spaghetti for you both to have after you're done

 

What's a QPR?

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fantastic mx. foxglove

You try to gaslight them into thinking they're ace as well

 

I want kids, but I don't want to have sex for them.... What do I do?

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Picklethewickle

Kidnapping is the fastest option.

 

When sexuals describe other people as "hot" does that mean you are supposed to set them on fire?

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Almost_something

Of course not!! If they're hot, it means that they're already on fire. You should use the fire extinguisher or at least throw a water bucket on them. Safety first!!

 

How do I tell my partner it's not their fault that I don't want to engage in sex related activities?

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It’s best to use reverse psychology. Tell them it is their fault, and then they’ll want to believe it’s not their fault, which will make it a lot easier to convince them that it’s not.

 

If I see someone wearing a black ring on their right middle finger, how can I know whether it’s because they’re ace or just because they want to wear a black ring?

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Ask them what's their thoughts on Danmark invasion.

 

Is there a guide book on how to be a proper ace? 

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fantastic mx. foxglove

Yes! You can buy it right here for only 20 installments of 13.99$! Call now!

 

Hello! I'm new to AVEN! Where should I start?

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RandomPotato02

Don't. Once you've started, you've grown into a cult that will eventually destroy you. 

 

What is this Denmark invasion about? 

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fantastic mx. foxglove

It's where we drive into Denmark without proper passports and throw pastries at all the people who live there

 

What's with ace people and cake?

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  • 2 weeks later...
KuraTheChibiSleepingBeauty

We secretly live in a JRPG world, and cake is our power-up. Different kinds of cake give different power-ups. [Hmm, now I almost want to make a game based on this...]

 

Since aces like cake, does that mean that aros like pie? 

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No, aros like pizza. Which I guess is a form of pie, but that would get us into a defdeb.

 

Since AVEN is apparently a cult, who or what does it worship?

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imjustconfused

We worship the great god of cake and dragons!!

 

Why does love exist?

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28 minutes ago, imjustconfused said:

We worship the great god of cake and dragons!!

 

Why does love exist?

It's a legal alternative to other addictions, nothing more. Best to quit cold turkey while you still can. It's never going to be as good as the first time anyways, so stop trying to find that high.

 

I like to wear short skirts but I'm afraid, people will get the wrong idea. What should I do?

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fantastic mx. foxglove

Wear even shorter skirts!

 

How do I tell people dirty jokes make me uncomfortable?

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Picklethewickle

Throw dirt at them so that they feel uncomfortable too.

 

Do I have to have sex to prove I'm really asexual?

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5 hours ago, Picklethewickle said:

Throw dirt at them so that they feel uncomfortable too.

 

Do I have to have sex to prove I'm really asexual?

Of course, how else.

 

Would you convince them you liked it while you're at it? After all that's what they want.

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