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How not to answer a newbie


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Not all aces are handsome and smart, we just have a disproportionate number of vampires in our ranks which raises the average.

 

My friend wants to be initiated into asexuality. Can I lead the ritual or must I consult one of the elder aces?

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No, you cannot lead a ritual for your buddy. It is illiegal. Therefore you must have me lead the ritual and do voodoo magic. Hopefully someone comes out alive this time.

 

can I stop being an asexual?

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Only you can determine your orientation.

 

My friend doesn’t believe I’m asexual because I call hot cocoa “hot cocoa” instead of “aesthetically attractive cocoa.” Do you think they might have a point?

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well yes, but also no.

 

 

does fangirling over gay people make me gay?

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Yes. Because contagion.

 

Is asexuality just a delay in puberty?

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Yes, in fact it's an ancient curse spread around from teen to teen and some can never shake it off. To promptly become allo again, kiss the lips of a magical prince

 

I can't eat cake because of health problems, am I still ace?

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No. Aces are cards, cards don't eat cake. 

 

Can I hate purple?

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Well technically you can, BUT If you are ever caught spreading hate on the colors purple, white, grey and black, your ace card will be revoked. 

 

What's the difference between demisexual and grey-asexual ?

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the first one means you're a half-human, the second one means your skin color is gray.

 

 

my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm ace. What do I do now? I'm so lonely.

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Well, you know what they say. When someone breaks your heart and leaves you lonely, it's best to look at more memes. Or burn there house down. Idk, ask a non-aro.

 

How come this forum is still alive, when so many others have died?

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"HoW cOmE a FoRuM oF iMmOrTaL bEiNgS jUsT sTaYs AliVe?"

Do you hear yourself?

 

I feel like "coming out" as ace would make me look like a fraud because as it's not a sexuality, it cannot be seen as a "deviant" one... How do I deal with that?

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a little annihilation

well then shove yourself in the smallest closet you can find and never come out.

 

am I still asexual if I am capable of having sex, in theory?

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Katarina Gertje

INTRUDER ALERT! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

 

 

How do I advocate for aro and ace inclusion?

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You don't, it happens by itself

 

 

What does aromantic mean? How do I know it fits me???

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2 hours ago, A User said:

What does aromantic mean? How do I know it fits me???

The fitting rooms in the AVENville branch of the G.L.Y.N. Foundation Shopping Channel is near the check-out stations.

 

Asexuals love cake.  What happens if I prefer jelly and ice cream instead?

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KuraTheChibiSleepingBeauty

Eat a jelly ice cream cake.

 

What's the difference between aces and Aces? 

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About 50p on the G.L.Y.N. Foundation Shopping Channel.

 

How do I join AVEN's Super Stunt Pigeons?

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OmegaTheMetamorphicDreamer

When aces level up, they evolve into Aces.

 

Are aces naturally good at card tricks?

 

(Drat, I got ninjad)

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KuraTheChibiSleepingBeauty

They're better at Persona games, because Tarot. 

 

 

How to deal with society's obsession with sex? 

 

 

 

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On 4/29/2021 at 10:38 PM, Omega the Shadow said:

When aces level up, they evolve into Aces.

 

Are aces naturally good at card tricks?

 

(Drat, I got ninjad)

Next thing you'll be saying is that us Aces will be starring in Pokémon Go! :P 

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On 4/29/2021 at 5:49 PM, KuraTheChibiCrystalKitty said:

How to deal with society's obsession with sex? 

 

the answer is in the question

you just deal with it.

 

 

where did all the cake come from?

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OmegaTheMetamorphicDreamer

The cake dimension. All asexuals have access to it.

 

How do I get people to understand what asexuality is?

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KuraTheChibiSleepingBeauty

Write a 3,600 paged book about it.

 

 

How do you get to the isle of Aceness? 

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Book your tickets with the G.L.Y.N. Foundation Airways - or catch a lift with the Stunt Pigeons!

 

Is there anything that a certain Ace Shopping Channel WON'T sell?

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  • 3 weeks later...
KuraTheChibiSleepingBeauty

I'll avoid stating the obvious answer, because obviousness. 

 

 

What's the perfect ace comfort food besides cake? 

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RandomPotato02

Anything can be a comfort food for an ace as long as you eat it together with your pet dragon.

 

What do I do if my pet dragon doesn't like being called a "pet"?

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  • 2 weeks later...

Sign right here. It is a statement that stating that you are not normal. 

 

 

Can I have a fork for my cake?

 

 

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hopeisnotlost

Here is a knife. Stab yourself.

Am I grey ace or bisexual?

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