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How not to answer a newbie


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Never! Unless you want to live in a cave.  Living in a cave can be fun.  Some of the nicer caves have Wi-Fi and tv. You can pay to upgrade to one with a working kitchen, otherwise it will have a bunch of cardboard boxes taped together to look like a kitchen.  Indoor plumbing is also an option, but the cardboard box will work in a pinch, if you throw it out every day.  Sometimes you get room mates and if you are lucky your neighbour is a bear.  Some bears are nicer than others and might invite you over for lunch.  They really enjoy their berry pie and will spend all day picking berries to make pie. The wrong kind of berries can ruin a pie. Be sure you have the right kind. Sorry what was the question?

 

I am confused about where I am on the romantic spectrum. How do I figure this out?

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Simples. It's your favourite colour in a rainbow 🌈, so you can be green-romantic for example 

 

How can I be asexual when I don't own a unicorn plushie? 

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You can't. But you can remedy this by buying a unicorn plushie. 

 

Are there local meet ups?

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Depends. Which sector of Caketopia do you live in? In the Unicorn Forest, just past the Ace Base? Or in the Demilands, just South of Aro-town?

 

 

DoEs Is AsExUaL ReAl?

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404 answer not found.  

 

What do the colours in the flag mean?

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It's a depiction of the different stages of a sandwich going bad.

 

Why aren't there more labels?

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Because then the backs of our shirts would be itchy.

 

Are asexuals just special snowflakes?

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yup we melt if you take us out of the freezers 

 

 

 

do aces have a special affinity with plants?

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Yes we fall from the sky. We are born from clouds. Then we fall.  IF you are lucky you become a person. Otherwise you melt, evaporate, and go back to the clouds to try again. 

 

How do I add a signature?

 

 

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write across the site in pen

 

 

 

 

how could we make asexuality more visible?

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Go back in time, became an Italian renaissance artist, and create a series of work around it.

 

How do I make someone understand my Aceness?

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scarletlatitude

Go to the nearest hardware store. Buy the largest hammer they have. When someone questions your aceness, threaten them with the hammer. They will no longer misunderstand your aceness. 

 

Is it possible to be an asexual asexual reproducer? 

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awkward_one34

Check with a spider plant on that one; if it says yes then it's for sure.

 

When do I get a custom title?

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Hire a customer title producer

 

How do I know if I am aromantic?

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You have to force yourself and pretend to like someone to make sure

 

Will I die alone?

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Never! You will remain forever online

 

How do I make friends here?

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Usually, it involves empty washing up liquid bottles, a roll of sellotape, some A4 paper, lots of superglue, the hire of some scaffolding and a team of highly trained builders.  Instructions to follow.

 

Would I still be allowed to join AVEN if most of my posts are going to be nonsensical bull? :P 

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RandomKindness

No. No one is allowed to join this forum but me.

 

How do you tell a potential partener that I am asexual?

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I would show them this thread point to you and say ace 

 

What is with all the cake?

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awkward_one34

Once upon a time, the founding AVENites had to pillage a dragon's cave. They found a bunch of cake hidden in the back room. The cake was so delicious that they created an alliance with the dragons so they could get more cake. That cake emoji used so casually on AVEN is a memorandum to the historic alliance between the dragons and those founding AVENites.

 

What's a PM?

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Prime Meridian 

 

What is with all the dragons and cats?

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I don't know, I'm not a vet

 

I don't like manga and anime, can I still be asexual?

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awkward_one34

 

As long as you like dragons you should be a-okay. 

 

Why a black ring? 

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Because black rings are known to emit a stench that wards off potential sexual partners.

 

How many people are asexual?

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You are the only one.  Everyone is not a person. 

 

Why do we wear black rings when swingers also wear black rings? 

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Because we both like swinging?

 

47A.jpg

 

I've been banned from four cake shops and three tea shops.  Does this mean I have to be on the Asexual Offenders' Register?

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Vicky Angel

Yes, you have also offended dragons, and bakers, and unicorns, and tea makers

 

How do I find other people near me that are my age on here? 

 

 

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Asexual._.Blanket

You say that you are a million years old and give them your social security number

 

Can I give an aromantic a high five?

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Vicky Angel

Look it up on your birth certificate 

 

Am i welcome here if other pride sites have not welcomed me?

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