Jump to content

How not to answer a newbie


Recommended Posts

It's a first name, like that actress who played in movies like GI Jane.

 

What is a non-libidoist?

Link to post
Share on other sites

A non-libidoist is someone that denies the existence of libido, just like members of the earth flat society deny the existence of a round earth, but that's another debate. Basically, "non" means "no" in french, so when non-libidoists hear anything related to libido, they just say "no". 

 

What is up with asexual people having some sort of cake obsession ?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
DetectiveDayo

There is a certain gene that requires asexual people to eat more cake. In the beginning of time this was just for survival purposes, to maintain their asexuality and therefore remove a sensitive weak spot lots of humans suffer from. As time passed, however, it has become a part of them so much that they dedicated a whole part of their satanic relegion to it.

 

What should I do if people don't accept me being asexual?

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

Have you ever heard of the famous saying "My way or the highway"? Well, it's either them accepting your way, or them being pushed out of your car going full speed. Honestly I think they wouldn't spend much time hesitating.

 

What is the cause of asexuality ? 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
RandomPotato02

Eating too much cake and reading too many books about dragons.

 

When can I be sure that I'm 100% ace?

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

If you aren't sure now, you probably never will be.

 

What is this whole "AVEN Arcade" thing about?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Breaching ToS and getting away with it 

 

I like beers with lewd names, can I still be asexual? 

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

that probably makes you brewsexual. Unless you're also attracted to wine, which would make you barrelsexual. Although some also prefer the term flasksexual, if the attraction exists to a lesser degree. Either way, you'll be part of the LWBSQJA% (Liquor Wine Beer Spirits Questionable Juice & Alcohol Percentage) spectrum.

 

If I only experience attraction under great amounts of alcohol influence, could I be burgundysexual?

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

probably not. Burgundysexual is a term reserved for people who get off on that area of France.

 

I heard that asexuals suffer more than most from flatulence. And that "Ace" stands for Arse Crack Emissions. Is this true (because I think I'd fit in well)....

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
DetectiveDayo

It is a lesser known fact, but this is indeed completely true. Asexual people have an advanced way of breaking down sexual attraction into a gas and let it out through their anus. This phenomenon is often paired with a loud noice to assert dominance.

 

Are there mightier people than asexual people?

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

Nope. That's why aliens haven't contacted us yet. They know about asexuals and prefer to stay clear of this planet.

 

What would happen if I find out that my sexual orientation is affected by my meds?

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

document your findings and get filthy stinking rich.

 

I learned so much about asexuality on this site. Can anyone recommend a site, where I can learn about bsexuality and csexuality ? I'd like to do them in order 

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
Katarina Gertje

BVEN and CVEN, obviously. We like to keep it real simple.

 

How old do I need to be to identify as aroace?

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Whatever the age of content is 

 

Is there an asexual initiation ceremony? 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

There is, but it's all low key and a little bit mystic. You've probably already gone through it without noticing.

 

I'd like to bring some friends with me. How can I get them to convert to asexuality?

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Katarina Gertje

Sacrifice their sexuality in a bloody ritual.

 

 

How can I find aroace friends irl? I'm having a lot of trouble.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
DetectiveDayo

There is a verry easy three step plan for acquiring more aorace friends that works quaranteed. 

 

Opperation aroace friends:

-Step 1: get yourself one of those big spotlights and use it to signal our symbol into the air. The symbol consists of an ace of spades-thingy, crossed with an arrow. This will attract other aroace people in your area.

-Step 2: capture the first cishet you can find an sacrifice his/her souls to our diety, Cake, in a bloody ritual. This will help strengten your bond.

-Step 3: Eat cake.

 

 

Am I legally aloud to throw someone out of my car if they are being acephobic?

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

Of course - isn't that what cars are for?

 

What should I do if someone throws me out of their car because I told them that I am ace?

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Katarina Gertje

Say "no u." You will instantly be projectile back into the car, while the other person will be thrown out. It's a simple spell known to only aces.

 

 

I'm out of questions. What should I do?

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
KuraTheChibiSleepingBeauty

Bake a cake.

 

How come so many video games that have romantic elements seem to discourage polyamory? 

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
50ShadesOfGreyAndPurple

it was a compromise between the 104th term of the ace world government and the game manufacturers

 

i was in my small house with julia, we were talking about how the 104th ace world government makes me think of 1984 when they broke in and convicted us both,

would 1984 references be "uncool"?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Bake a cake for them 🍰 and then slowly fade into nothingness.

 

How do I convince my friend when they called me a late bloomer who have not found the right one yet?

 

 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Go on a spiritual journey across three continents and collect as many genders as you can. Once you have completed your quest and located the sacred asexual screaming seals that yell, and introduce yourself to the queen as a royal knight of the ace circle, the answer will reveal itself.

 

I can't find any other asexuals in the wild. :( how do I find them?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Have you tried using Sweet Scent or Honey?

 

Do all asexuals like cats?

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Commit the rest of your life to the next stranger you see. This is the only way to know if you are capable of commitment. 

 

If I'm asexual, does an ace card count as 1 point or 11 points?

Edited by Dracoddity
  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

if you're playing the ace game, all the other cards only have one point...

 

how can I maintain good relationships, if they always lose interest after finding out I'm asexual?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Stalk them until you catch them doing something bad, take a picture, and then blackmail them using the picture you just took to stay your friends. Or offer to buy their friendship with presents and trips to fun places regularly.

 

 

How do I tell my parents?

Link to post
Share on other sites
DetectiveDayo

Pretend to be pregnant for nine months, and at the "baby shower", give them an ace card wrapped in a blanket and say: "b*tch dafuq? Y'all really thought?"

And when you have all people gathered at your fake baby shower, you also have the perfect opportunity to take their souls.

 

What is allosexual?

Edited by DetectiveDayo
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...