Jump to content

How not to answer a newbie


Recommended Posts

Kitteη χ

We actually hate it. The whole cake thing is all part of an elaborate ruse that was made up to distract the general population from our master plan of world domination.

 

How should you respond if someone says that you just haven't found the right person yet?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

Tell em you didn't lose a right person either.

 

I would like to meet other aces.hoiw can I recognize them?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Skycaptain

See someone eating a cake in public, they're asexual 

 

 

Must I have a pet if I'm asexual 

Link to post
Share on other sites

you should have already received a package of cats after realizing your asexuality, probably ask the post office if they made a mistake or delay in the order that was mentally sent every time someone determines their identity.

how do you come out as aro?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Green and Purple Dragon

You don't.  You let our secret society run on, until we take over the whole world.

 

Question:  If I start to develop a crush, does that mean I was never aromantic?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Only if you stop the blender now. If you're not comfortable with a crush, just turn up the speed and soon you will have slush instead. Now you can add your favorite aromantic flavor and enjoy your slushy with a friend. platonically. Two straws!

 

My co-workers make a lot of sex(ist) jokes. Am I still allowed to join in even though I came out as Asexual?

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Katarina Gertje

According to section 548b of the Ace Contract, you are only allowed to join in when you have a permit. Otherwise, you could potentially have your ace licence revoked for a couple weeks. Only exception is if you somehow manage to make it about asexuality. Then you get off with a warning. I didn't make the rules.

 

How do you know when you have a squish?

Link to post
Share on other sites

that's your decision to make. seriously. you can go to the pet store and past the dog section, there's the onomatopoeia section and you can buy yourself a pet squish. 

how do you explain what asexuality is?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, you know how most people would die if you cut them in half?[citation needed] Well, when an asexual is cut in half, each half just regenerates into a clone of the original person.

 

Is asexuality a choice?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Katarina Gertje

Yes. You get to chose and change your sexuality up to the age of 22, where you then must fill out a form to decide what you will be for the rest of your life, and swear allegiance to its flag.

 

I'm aro ace. How do I react when someone asks me out?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

You will probably react surprised.

 

Growing up, I never knew about asexuality. When was it discovered?

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Stand in front of a porn shop. If someone walks by without looking, they're asexual.

 

Does someone have to use AVEN to be asexual?

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
Katarina Gertje

Yes. It is a part of the initiation ritual.

 

What is an ace ring?

Link to post
Share on other sites

It's the ring that people form around a person in said initiation ritual.

 

Do asexuals face prejudice?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Katarina Gertje

No. Keep it bottled up inside until you have a huge argument where you can blurt it out by accident. Works every time.

 

Is there any good mainstream aro/ace representation?

Link to post
Share on other sites

The rocks in the stream don't experience sexual or romantic attraction.

 

What should I do if my partner comes out as asexual?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Lady Constellation

No. If you’re ace, you become devoid of color and emotion. 

 

How do you deal with your friends making dirty jokes?

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Bring soap and water to clean the jokes.

 

Do aces like kissing?

Link to post
Share on other sites

aces, hearts, diamonds, and clubs hate kissing people's asses in card games. they're more of a kicker.

 

do i have to have sex in order to know i'm asexual?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
OmegaTheMetamorphicDreamer

Yes. And if that partner didn't work, keep trying with other people. You may just need to find the right one.

 

How old do I need to be to know I'm asexual?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Custard Cream

Younger than your parents, but older than your phone. Probably. There may be exceptions.

But however old you are, you still are going to have to deal with people asking if you are 'sure' you are asexual.

 

What are the best forums for a newbie to explore?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Katarina Gertje

None of them. They all suck.

 

How common is asexuality?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, you just have to go to a sexuality store, say, "This sexuality isn't working for me, I need to return it," and then buy another one.

 

Can asexuals take part in Pride parades?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Katarina Gertje

After you pass the one thousand quests of the gatekeepers, who are the only thing keeping you from fully being embraced at pride.

 

Is it important to tell people I'm asexual?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

You are obligated to! Make sure they know in the first conversation, best to just add it to your name in introduction like "hi, I'm Katarina, asexual." Everything else would be omission which is just as bad as lying.

 

Why are there so many different additional abbreviations (e.g. aro, demi, grey etc) attached to the definition of ones sexuality?

Link to post
Share on other sites

because these abbreviations are a part of our own secret language that the normies cannot know about. only WE know this code and WE shall abide by it. do not question the system.

why is the number 69 associated with sex? (haha we on page 69)

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...