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How not to answer a newbie


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AllTimeBubble

Only when you reach the grand old age of 1,234 will you truly know.

 

What does aromantic mean?

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Aromantic = you don't like mushy films 

 

Can asexuals like smutty humour? 

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Custard Cream

No, don't be stupid. Asexuality is a myth and we are therefore fictitious creatures. That's why we all own dragons.

 

What does the purple stripe on the asexual pride flag represent? 

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Lady Constellation

Royalty. We are above the peasants and the purple is a stealthy way to represent that. 

 

How do we decide who brings the cake at the world domination meetings every Thursday? 

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  • 5 weeks later...

Why do you even need to ask?! Don't you pay attention at any of our meetings?! IT'S YOU!!!! And you've FORGOTTEN the cake at EVERY SINGLE MEETING for the PAST THREE YEARS!!!! You should be ASHAMED of yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :evil:

 

... Rant over.

 

What does the A in LGBTQIA stand for?

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All the little Lights

Awesome!

 

 

Why would anyone want to be aromantic?

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E Wildflower

Why wouldn’t you want to be aromatic? Smelling nice is fun!

 

Has asexuality always existed?

 

 

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Custard Cream

No, we found it under the cushion when we hoovered the sofa.  It wasn't there before.

 

What does sex-averse mean?

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It means that sex doesn't like you. You ate all of its cake and now it tries to stay as far away from you as possible.

 

How do I know I'm asexual?

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Look into a crystal ball. If you see purple cake, you're asexual.

 

How many people are asexual?

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Everyone is. Some people just don't know it yet.

 

Why does the ace flag look the way it does?

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KuraTheChibiSleepingBeauty

404 Computer Hamsters not found. Delete server and try again. 

 

Why haven't you met the "right" person yet? 

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Custard Cream

Cover it in salt and leave it for a few weeks.

 

What does the ace pride flag look like?

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E Wildflower

You must go on an asexual quest wherein you befriend a dragon and convince it to give you a slice of its magical ace cake. That is how you prove you’re a true asexual. Only then will your questioning stop.

 

Speaking of cake, why is it associated with asexuality?

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Lady Constellation

It depends. On one hand, you can't talk or walk or move. On the other, you're absorbing energy through the sun, so you don't have to pay for food or heat. You also create oxygen for people!

 

How do I come out to my friends as ace?

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You don't cuz they should come out to you instead, then you should water them and give them plenty of sunlight.

 

What is Demi-romantic attraction? 

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This term refers to the relationship between Bruce Willis and Demi Moore,  where he realized, she could only be adored from afar and had to move next door. Of course other people are attracted to a Demi, but never got to stick around for long. There are many Demis in this world, and they will continue to have many romantic relationships. Just not with you. 

 

why do asexuals look for relationships instead of friendships?

 

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nineGardens

God damn it... must resist urge to try to answer question seriously.....

 

When in the business of shipping shipping ships, a shipped shipment of Relation-ships are more easily shipped to shops due to the greater demand of shippers for this, there preferred kind of ships, as compared to the significantly lower demand by shippers for friendShips.

 

This confuses various Aces, but regardless, when seeking our ships to ship to shipper shops, market forces apply, and hence Aces  (or honestly, anyone in the ship shipping bussiness) tend to ship a greater quantity of relationShips to shipper shops.

 

 

Am I allowed to identify as Ace if there was this one time in second year of university where I thought [person] was pretty and wanted to cuddle with them?

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Yes, but only if you remember to take a good shower after the cuddling even if you find them pretty. 

 

Am I still asexual given that I had a crush on my best friend and wanted to be with him?

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It depends. What did you crush him with? If you used a hydraulic press, then I would say yes. Otherwise, I'd be doubtful.

 

What's the preferred term to use when referring to people who aren't asexual?

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nineGardens

"Those Heathens"

 

Should I tell people that I am ace?

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You should not since asexuality doesn't exist and we are all mythological creatures. Actually that is what your should tell them. 

 

Am I asexual or am I just have not encountered the right person yet?

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Lady Constellation

Before you can truly be ace, you have to date every single person on the planet to make sure you're not missing anyone. Only after you have dated the 7 billion people in the planet and not made a connection of any kind with any of them can you identify as ace.

 

What do each of the colors in the ace flag stand for?

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IrishArcher

Purple: royalty, because we are the undisputed monarchs of the universe due to our obvious superiority.

White: purity, because we are free from the sin of lust and therefore holy.

Grey: wisdom, because it is our duty to be the impartial judges of the universe since we are free from mortal sin.

Black: finality, because it is our collective goal to bring humanity to a peaceful end by spreading asexuality to the rest of the population, ceasing the reproduction of mankind once and for all.

 

Is kissing considered sexual?

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yuck! yes! that's how people get infected with sexuality !

 

if I decide not to be asexual anymore, do I have to leave the forum? 

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Lady Constellation

Leave the forums in disgrace. Cover your head with a length of cloth and take only one bag of clothing. You are an imposter and if you stay, you will be stoned in the town square. Shame.

 

How should I react if I see someone wearing an ace ring in public?

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