mcsquared Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 Hi everyone. I've been lurking for a while but finally feel compelled to post. Between the questions about why I'm not married or don't have a boyfriend yet and Coming Out Week where there is nothing at all for people who are questioning the point of sexuality, I kind of feel the need to at least start confronting my sexual identity or lack thereof. I guess I've always seen sexuality as something vaguely threatening, maybe it's that Catholic upbringing. After a brief high school boyfriend experience, I felt I didn't want to deal with that so went out of my way to avoid dating(women's college). Then my junior year of college things got more complicated when a lot of my friends came out as gay. Of course I wanted to be supportive, but felt like the whole thing became arbitrary. So now I've given up any pretense of trying to do the personals ad/singles thing but still feel frustrated in feeling like I missed out on some college lecture on relationships/sexuality and such and don't feel like it's a subject I can broach with my friends, who are mostly settled down already. I off-handedly mentioned to a friend (a very out gay man) that I had spent some time on the AVEN page and he said he thought it was for people who were developmentally immature or had been sexually abused which really stung. And then watching a movie ( i know, the worst possible way to gain any insight about relationships) where they broke up because they only had sex once a month just made me think--is that really the point of marriage? Because if it is, it's definitely not for me! So I guess that's where I am right now--not really sure if I'm truly asexual or just a little too used to being repressed--but glad I found this community. There seems to be some overlap with the "quirkyalones"--has anyone else read about them? http://www.todolistmagazine.com/quirkylikeus.html Well thanks, and glad to meet everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
VivreEstEsperer Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 I have the honor of being the first person to welcome you mcsquared! :) nice talking to you on AIM tonight. hope you enjoy it here. interesting the amount of people that mention catholic upbringings... well i know there's been at least 2 others anyway. Kate Link to post Share on other sites
dabishop Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 Ummm...Catholic influence? Whatever gave you that idea? :D Anyway, I second that welcoming emotion! About that "developmentally immature" thing...I didn't get to be this age without being in plenty of sexually-charged situations, and I sure as hell didn't miss that final step in my maturity by walking away each and every time (and avoiding "near occasions" ever since). Has it caused pain and hurt feelings? Absolutely. Does that make us all a bunch of immature narcissists? Bollocks. Link to post Share on other sites
anythingtestdead Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 welcome! :D i took the querkyalone quiz and it said i was an ignorant ignoramous :? then it called me a BOzo!! :evil: Link to post Share on other sites
Neko Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 Welcome!! :D Link to post Share on other sites
Cate Perfect Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 How quirkyalone are you? Your score was 114. Very quirkyalone: Relatives may give you quizzical looks, and so may friends, but you know in your heart of hearts that you are following your inner voice. Though you may not be romancing a single person, you are romancing the world. Celebrate your freedom on National Quirkyalone Day, February 14th! YES!!! Go me!! Anyway, welcome to the board. My parents were raging atheists so I don't think religion had anything to do with why I'm uninterested in sex. It's always interesting to me when gay people take issue/don't believe an asexual when he or she comes out. I mean, it's just another place on the spectrum of sexuality, just like being gay. It's the way we're born (that's what I believe anyway). Tell him THAT. Cate Link to post Share on other sites
fluffy_hime Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 welcome, mcsquared! yes, yes, tell your gay friend what cate said! i don't think we're developmentally immature...maybe we just skipped that stage of development. i've been learning a lot about sex & gender in my psych class. maybe i'll type some of it up to post. Link to post Share on other sites
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