Demigirl/cis confusion

[rtop]

I have always thought of myself as a cis woman but even the term 'woman' (or 'girl') feels a bit strange to me? I look hyperfeminine (big breasts, hips, narrow waist, long hair, etc.) and while I wouldn't say I feel dysphoric about it, sometimes I feel uncomfortable - and then sometimes I feel able to embrace it. And then, I know when I interact with others they treat me as a girl (I look younger than I am), and that sometimes makes me feel weird but I think it may only be partly because it doesn't quite fit with my gender identity at certain times, and partly because people are quite disparaging to young female-presenting people and don't take them/their intelligence very seriously.

 

I've kind of taken on 'demigirl' as a term that makes me feel a bit more at ease with some of the not-quite-a-girl feelings I have. I never feel like a boy, but perhaps I'm like 60% girl, 40% agender, or something? (quantifying it in itself feels weird). But I'm beginning to wonder if maybe the real reason why I don't feel 100% like a woman is more because I don't relate to the stereotypes of feminine gender performativity rather than because of my identity as such. I mean, how do you make that distinction? How do you know if your gender identity might be coming off the back of some internalised social norms rather than something that's true to who you really are? (can you ever know?)

 

Sorry this post is confused, rambly. I don't think my vocabulary is quite right and this isn't something I've been exploring for very long.

[Alice Woodstock]

Well, I will answer more because I'm not sure myself either, i'm AMAB. I only discovery that I'm not cis when I switch my gender online, before I realised I'm not a man neither a woman I was fealing garbage, thinking something like I'm not man enough, trying to act like as one doesn't fit. Relationships was trying to make me acting like a man, the last one was trying to make me a woman but confusing things was trying to arrange me to date a men (no, I know the man body, I was born with one and really don't like). Someone told me I was acting like a boy most of the time and only liked me when I'm a man (I only though, wrong gender, most of the time I feel like a teenage girl). I see a little message on the Q & A chat that helps me: "Remember: no one can tell you what to identify as".

 

I think you shoud go with one that makes you more happy with yourself. I only liked myself after I accepted that I'm genderfluid and most of time I'm between agender and demigirl.

[SamwiseLovesLife]

1 hour ago, Alice Woodstock said:

I think you shoud go with one that makes you more happy with yourself.

Exactly ^

We should all be free to be our inner selves

[Ricki]

Check out this thread: 

 

Does this resonate with you?
 

Quote

Genderfluid: Identifying as more than one gender, in a way such that one "flows" between genders, or experiences a change in gender in some way. A fluctuating or shifting gender. This may be between all genders or any subset of genders. It is often different from bigender in that a genderfluid individual may experience slow gradual changes as well as abrupt flips, whereas bigender people tend to only experience "all or nothing" flips, and no "in-between" period.

 

[AVEN #1 fan]

Who knows ? there's a thing called gender expression and it's how you behave, how you behave doesn't necessary align with how do you identify as (gender identity), there's feminine, masculine, androgynous and unisex people of all kinds of gender identities.

 

 

 

Then there's gender identity how you identify as, how do you prefer to be treated as, etc , as I said you can be a tomboyish girl, an androgynous boy, an feminine agender,  an masculine androgyne, etc

 

The most known non-binary Transgender identities are :

• Agender/genderless/gender void/gender null/gender blank: feels like "person", for lack of gender(ed terms). you don't even need to understand gender to identify as agender
• Androgyne : feels ambiguously masculine and feminine (there's subcategories based on how feminine or masculine they behave)
• Neutrois/gender neutral: feels ambiguously gender neutral/unisex
• Ambigender /gender ambiguous: feels ambiguous (neutrois and amdrogyne are under this umbrella)
• Libragenders : feels like agender but have strong connections with masculinity (libramasculine ), or with femininity (librafeminine ), neither or both (libranonbinary ), or fluid (librafluid/agenderflux )
• Genderfluid/multigender/bi-gender/poly-gender/pan-gender: gender identity changes at certain moments
• Genderflux: gender connection fluctuates from strong gendered behavior to weak gendered behavior and even to agender identity at certain moments
• Greygender: careless for gender
• Cis-genderles: they're agenders who happens to feel comfortable with their "Cis" lives.
• Gender-fuck : wanna destroy the existence of the idea of  gender
• Maverique/aporagender : any other gender identity that doesn't match the ones above
• Neurogender : their gender identity is influenced by their neurotypes  (there's like 35 subcategories, one for each neurotype diversity)
• Intergender: their gender identities  are influenced by their intersex conditions (ex.: interboy)

[Guest]

8 hours ago, AVEN #1 fan said:

Who knows ? there's a thing called gender expression and it's how you behave, how you behave doesn't necessary align with how do you identify as (gender identity), there's feminine, masculine, androgynous and unisex people of all kinds of gender identities.

 

 

 

Then there's gender identity how you identify as, how do you prefer to be treated as, etc , as I said you can be a tomboyish girl, an androgynous boy, an feminine agender,  an masculine androgyne, etc

 

The most known non-binary Transgender identities are :

• Agender/genderless/gender void/gender null/gender blank: feels like "person", for lack of gender(ed terms). you don't even need to understand gender to identify as agender
• Androgyne : feels ambiguously masculine and feminine (there's subcategories based on how feminine or masculine they behave)
• Neutrois/gender neutral: feels ambiguously gender neutral/unisex
• Ambigender /gender ambiguous: feels ambiguous (neutrois and amdrogyne are under this umbrella)
• Libragenders : feels like agender but have strong connections with masculinity (libramasculine ), or with femininity (librafeminine ), neither or both (libranonbinary ), or fluid (librafluid/agenderflux )
• Genderfluid/multigender/bi-gender/poly-gender/pan-gender: gender identity changes at certain moments
• Genderflux: gender connection fluctuates from strong gendered behavior to weak gendered behavior and even to agender identity at certain moments
• Greygender: careless for gender
• Cis-genderles: they're agenders who happens to feel comfortable with their "Cis" lives.
• Gender-fuck : wanna destroy the existence of the idea of  gender
• Maverique/aporagender : any other gender identity that doesn't match the ones above
• Neurogender : their gender identity is influenced by their neurotypes  (there's like 35 subcategories, one for each neurotype diversity)
• Intergender: their gender identities  are influenced by their intersex conditions (ex.: interboy)
• Demigender : feels partially a gender  (ex.: demigirl), some are nanogenders , and they feel very little partially a gender (ex.:nanogirl), the opposite of nanogender is magigender and they identity nearly fully with a gender (ex.: magigirl). Usually these people are genderfluid.

The bolded, where do you get these from, also don't you think interboy is a bit degoratory to those who actually are intersex?

Where did you get nanoboy/girl from? or magigender? I don't think it's wise to use terms from wich you aren't sure what they mean..unless you give me a good explanation on what these mean.It almost seems like you are painting those who are Genderfluid as magiboys/girls wich makes it look offensive.

Again, Cis genderless people aren't "Agenders who happen to feel comfortable with their "Cis" lifes" There is no such thing as a "Cis life" but just the life we all live as human beings, life on it's own isn't "Cis" FYI: "Cis gender = those who's gender identity matches with their biological sex

 

Agender individuals do not have a gender they do understand gender but they don't have a gender.  Them not understanding gender is simply not true.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[margot-rain]

This sounds like me. I don't feel 100% female, but I don't feel at all masculine either. I don't mind being referred to as female or a girl, but the word woman makes me uncomfortable. I also have intermittent mild dysphoria about my chest. I've tentatively adopted the demigirl moniker but I'm not sure if I'm just an unconventional cis female. Sorry I have no advice but you are not alone.

[Nomiverse]

Does your gender fluctuate like a thermometer? If so, I recommend you look up genderflux.

[awesomeevy14]

I am a demigirl as well, but im not 100% sure

just be who you wanna be!!

[S.Doe]

On 5/16/2017 at 10:45 AM, rtop said:

I have always thought of myself as a cis woman but even the term 'woman' (or 'girl') feels a bit strange to me? I look hyperfeminine (big breasts, hips, narrow waist, long hair, etc.) and while I wouldn't say I feel dysphoric about it, sometimes I feel uncomfortable - and then sometimes I feel able to embrace it. And then, I know when I interact with others they treat me as a girl (I look younger than I am), and that sometimes makes me feel weird but I think it may only be partly because it doesn't quite fit with my gender identity at certain times, and partly because people are quite disparaging to young female-presenting people and don't take them/their intelligence very seriously.

 

I've kind of taken on 'demigirl' as a term that makes me feel a bit more at ease with some of the not-quite-a-girl feelings I have. I never feel like a boy, but perhaps I'm like 60% girl, 40% agender, or something? (quantifying it in itself feels weird). But I'm beginning to wonder if maybe the real reason why I don't feel 100% like a woman is more because I don't relate to the stereotypes of feminine gender performativity rather than because of my identity as such. I mean, how do you make that distinction? How do you know if your gender identity might be coming off the back of some internalised social norms rather than something that's true to who you really are? (can you ever know?)

 

Sorry this post is confused, rambly. I don't think my vocabulary is quite right and this isn't something I've been exploring for very long.

OMG I am SO glad you posted this, rtop! I know this thread is from 3 years ago, but I've been doing some googling since finding out about demigenders and stumbled upon this. I feel exactly like you described, and I'd love to know if your thinking on this has changed at all in the 3 years since you posted this! Message me if you'd be happy to talk about this with a newbie.

[Rynn]

This thread has not been active for a long time and is now being locked. If anyone would like to discuss this topic further, feel free to start a new thread about it.

Laurann, moderator