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I am highly confused


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Firebird13

Hi everyone!!

I'd like to start this post by saying that I'm not asking anyone for labels, but if you guys can help me figure out where I fall on the gender spectrum, I would be eternally grateful!

So as the title states, I am very confused. When it comes to the emotional part of romance, I feel like I could be pansexual--as long as the person is good at heart and I know them personally, there is a good chance I'll end up with at least a crush, regardless of the gender they identify with. However, I do feel this is only emotionally. When it comes to whether or not I would be sexually attracted, I feel more along the lines of asexual, demisexual at most, because I have very little desire for anything in that realm, but that miniscule bit of desire is as diverse as the emotional range. I don't feel quite comfortable identifying with either because of the conflicting ranges, and it has left me very confused. I feel kind of like either a non-intimate pansexual or a gender-blind demisexual, if that makes sense...is there a word for that?

If any of you amazing people could give me some pointers, that would be incredible!!

Thank you in advance,

Firebird

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Welcome to AVEN!

To address your questions, I would start by noting that sexual attraction and romantic attraction are distinct phenomena, and it's possible to experience one without experiencing the other. It's common for people to be asexual but still experience romantic attraction, while those who don't experience either form of attraction are asexual and aromantic.

From what you write, it sounds like you might be panromantic but asexual or gray-asexual/demisexual. The AVENwiki page has a breakdown of different forms of interpersonal attraction which you might find useful. Julie Sondra Decker's book The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality is also a good resource.

I would add that your questions are probably better characterized as pertaining to the asexual/sexual spectrum rather than the gender spectrum. The phase "gender spectrum" suggests issues pertaining to gender identity, which I don't think is your concern here.

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Firebird13
23 minutes ago, Pramana said:

Welcome to AVEN!

To address your questions, I would start by noting that sexual attraction and romantic attraction are distinct phenomena, and it's possible to experience one without experiencing the other. It's common for people to be asexual but still experience romantic attraction, while those who don't experience either form of attraction are asexual and aromantic.

From what you write, it sounds like you might be panromantic but asexual or gray-asexual/demisexual. The AVENwiki page has a breakdown of different forms of interpersonal attraction which you might find useful. Julie Sondra Decker's book The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality is also a good resource.

I would add that your questions are probably better characterized as pertaining to the asexual/sexual spectrum rather than the gender spectrum. The phase "gender spectrum" suggests issues pertaining to gender identity, which I don't think is your concern here.

Thank you!! I've been trying to figure out how to phrase it for weeks, so thank you too for correcting me ^_^

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