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Random insults you use.


Tintinfan

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Telling someone that they have "the brains of a bog brush" or 

"A freshly smoked kipper displays more intelligence "

Dickensian "Chuzzlewit"

" Your wit moves as fast as the M25 during a wet Monday morning rush hour "

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19 hours ago, Ciri said:

Apparently referring to strangers as NPCs is an insult too. 

I should use this sometime!

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SorryNotSorry
On 4/19/2017 at 2:17 PM, Ciri said:

Apparently referring to strangers as NPCs is an insult too.

I've described some people as "having NVB (= not very bright)". That one always confuses the professionals. :lol:

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Bloody little shit is always appropriate.  

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I'll just leave that here in case someone wants to learn from the classics :D

 

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Divide By Zero

I work in IT and two that I, and others in the field, use are:

  • PEBCAK. It stands for Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard. For example, "The problem the user reported was PEBCAK."
  • Describing a problem as an "ID Ten T error". If you change Ten to 10 and remove the spaces, you get ID10T. For example, "The problem the user reported was an ID Ten T error."

Also, a friend in high school often referred to people as a mucous membrane,

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I have a very foul mouth when I'm annoyed. A lot of the time it's the usual profanities (shit, fuck, shite, bollocks) in various languages, though I do have some more...inventive ones. Here's some:

 

"Thor on a pogo stick..." or other deity doing inane thing.

"You useless inbred Vista-spawn" - frequently aimed at Windows 10.

"Facetwit/Twitface" - take a guess what those refer to.

"This project belongs on The Daily WTF" - the project is such a bloated, top-heavy, pile of what-the-fuck-is-going-on that I'm surprised it hasn't been submitted to that site yet. Inspired by the day job.

"ID(IOT)" - what the "Internet of Things" actually is.

 

A lot of these are IT related, which might be due to my job.

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Calling someone a "post" (as in lamp post or goal post, not as in Washington Post) is pretty common over here. I also like "bucket".

 

Oh and round-the-corner insults. "Someone smart probably wouldn't have done that."

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Fabulous Mermaid

My weekend homies and I actually have a few goofy insults we came up with:

Buttstick (which actually means dog chewy. See, the dog has these smelly chew sticks that my sibling and I said smell like butt so now we call them buttsticks and somehow that became an insult.)

Nugget poppin' butt dud

turdbladder

turdburglar

Turdblossom

turdbiscuit

 

Stuff like that. Buttstick is the most common one.

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"Trash Monkey"

 

It's a rather specific term that only I use. It was REALLY useful during the past election season...

 

It's anyone who just does what they were taught without thinking about it (like a trained monkey), and that thing makes the world worse.

 

For example, if you throw paper in the trash bin instead of recycling it because "it's what I've always done and it's easier" then you are a trash monkey.

 

Another example, if a person went into the voting booth and just voted down party lines without paying attention to if the candidates were actually good choices, they would be are acting like a trash monkey. (For the record, if that person voted down the party line AFTER vetting each candidate, they are not being a trash monkey. It's only if a person acts like a trained monkey and does as they are told with no thought)

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"If ignorance was a velocity you could escape a black hole."

"Pardon me, I must scream to release what you just put in my skull."

"Bootlicker."

"You're denser than a neutron star."

"PEBCAK."

"It's not that I hate you, I'm just horrified at the thought that you might reproduce."

"I understand our education system isn't the best but good heavens."

"You're one of those people who only survive one episode of The Walking Dead."

"I've met gen 1 NPCs with no dialogue that are more interesting than you."

"You have done to my spirit what a McDonald's employee does to an ice cream machine."

"I have met fetuses with more life experience."

"Your existence is really doing wonders for my diet."

"There are no words in any of the four languages I speak which can convey how much I want to launch you into the sun."

"Your consumption of oxygen is vastly inconvenient."

"I hate to be blunt but frankly I'd rather enter a Walmart at midnight than speak with you."

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Here's one I heard awhile back: "It's not that I hate you. It's just that, well, if you were on fire and I had a glass of water I'd drink it."

And one I made up and got to use once: "Hey, where's your good twin?"

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Tintinfan

New one

You Nimrod/ Nimbus

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LuckofTheChuck

Sperm winner

The Missing link (For people who act like apes)

Retired fetus

Waste of space

 

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Zectarash
21 hours ago, Tintinfan said:

New one

You Nimrod/ Nimbus

That reminds me of an old insult of mine: "Dimrod." It's a cross between dimwit and nimrod. I suppose "Nimwit" would also work.

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Tintinfan

Flipping heckfire - yes i am a somewhat polite person

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I don't swear much nowadays and just say things like

Utter plank

Wet bread

Dirty lampshade

Yoghurt lump

Damp sock

Peasant

 

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  • 6 months later...

I use a combo of hindi and creole english.

-Neemakaram - Ungrateful

-Wajank - Idk how or where Jack Warner came up with this.

- Gadahar - Donkey

- Hull yuh mudda c / Hull yuh C / hyc

 

Here we have a sound that is called Steups. You make it by sucking air through your teeth. It's considered an insult sometimes.

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Ignorant child, small child, or something more personal that has to do with like an allergy or something. (*cough* @Hazel_Elise)

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4 hours ago, Jax Nikara said:

Ignorant child, small child, or something more personal that has to do with like an allergy or something. (*cough* @Hazel_Elise)

Rude!!

When I'm upset with someone, I tell them to die in a hole. :P

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2 minutes ago, Hazel_Elise said:

Rude!!

When I'm upset with someone, I tell them to die in a hole. :P

Except for me, apparently I am banned from dying in a whole so.......

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4 minutes ago, Jax Nikara said:

Except for me, apparently I am banned from dying in a hole so.......

Yes, I usually call you a little turd instead.

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Adding more, that have become more common in my vernacular.

 

Roastie

Cuck 

Beta

Normie 

Numale 

 

You can probably figure out where I hang out. I don't usually call people this stuff IRL. Because what happens online, stays online. I'm really nice IRL, and don't insult anyone reguardless of actions usually.

 

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Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

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GrumpyBollocks - generally used to insult myself when i screw up on something.

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