I wish I was asexual, things would be way more easier for me

[Ross_K]

Or then again maybe not, since asexuals still need and have relationships.

No one has ever been attracted to me in the whole of my life.

[Octarine]

Or then again maybe not, since asexuals still need and have relationships.

Well, not all of them.... But, don't be so hard on yourself.

[The Archangel]

I think you'd be surprised. Think about this, how many times a day do you think, "That girl is pretty cute," or ,"Man, look at her! She's a knock out!" And never say anything to them, or even your friends. There's probably people that just pass you on the street and think you're attractive. Just a thought.

[Jean Grey]

Or then again maybe not, since asexuals still need and have relationships.

Definitely not all of them. And I don't think that asexuality makes life any easier. That's really not how I feel about it.

[ghosts]

Or then again maybe not, since asexuals still need and have relationships.

No one has ever been attracted to me in the whole of my life.

Aww. :( Well, it's probably not as easy as you'd think. It's stressful when people *are* attracted to you and you don't want them to be. Like- if I want to do something with someone, but they always think it means something else... It gets frustrating, to the point where I worry whether something I do will be interpreted in another way.

[NeitherSparky]

I agree with ghosts. And, because of my asexuality (at least, before I knew what it was and I thought that I was just defective) I would *panic* if anyone did express any interest in me. I used to say the same thing, no one is attracted to me - but looking back I know now that a few people were a little, but I pushed them away.

I hear what you're saying though...but let me assure you, it is NOT that great to be as different as we are. It is NOT great to have absolutely no clue what all the fuss is about and to feel alienated by the entire world because you're not interested in like, the vast majority of advertising and entertainment. To see a couple engaging in public displays of affection and feel both jealous that no one had ever wanted to touch you that way as well as indifferent and a tad revolted as to why they would even want to do that.

I don't "wish" I was sexual or a specific sexuality because it is foolish to wish for something you don't or can't understand.

[Derp]

I think you'd be surprised. Think about this, how many times a day do you think, "That girl is pretty cute," or ,"Man, look at her! She's a knock out!" And never say anything to them, or even your friends. There's probably people that just pass you on the street and think you're attractive. Just a thought.

*seconds this* There have been many times when someone was attracted to me, and I was literally the last person to know about it. :roll: But then, people with Asperger's tend to be pretty clueless about those things. Are there many aspies on your board, by any chance? :|

[Fel]

If you think that nobody has ever been attracted to you in your whole life than you are either invisible or just fooling yourself.

I don't mean to come across as harsh, but really, I'm guessing you're a pretty shy person. If this is true, people who are attracted to you might react to that and be equally shy in return. In short, nothing will get done. You will not know if somebody is attracted to you unless you speak out and put in some effort.

[nadejda]

i know how you feel ross_k. i have extremely low self esteem. its pretty non existant. i never think i look pretty and it makes it really hard for me to believe that someone will like me. although i know that people have. my sisters and friends always tell me that some guys was looking at me even though i complain that no one ever notices me. and i also am almost completely sure that one of my friends currently likes me a lot and would like to jump in bed with me if i gave even the slightest sign of interest.

being asexual or even a questioning asexual is definitley not easy. im questioning whether i am or not and it confuses me to no end. on one hand when i see public displays of affection like NeitherSparky i feel jealous that they have something i have never experienced and i wonder why i cant have that. and on the other hand i always think but i dont really want that.

its not easier one way or another. on one hand its hard being an outsider in a world where people have a hard time understanding asexuality and question its existance. on the other hand is it really so much easier to be in sexual relationships and have to deal with all the emotional/physical and any other kind of aftermaths?

i dont think so. i think everyone wants/needs someone. whether it be in a sexual way or not. so it doesnt really make a difference then if one is sexual or not. as long as you have someone (even a friend) and that life works for you than thats all you need.

cheer up! theres no way to go but up

[ily]

Being asexual definitely comes with its own set of problems...No one's ever flat-out told me that they're attracted to me either...which is pretty much the only way I would know. :roll:

The wierd thing about attraction (and I'm just musing here, don't mind me ) is that it's so internal and personal, but we seem to require it so much from other people.

[Des]

all right! We got a Wannabe!

[Ross_K]

Hi everyone, thanks for the replies, I forgot all about this topic.

I am actually trying to become asexual now, I'd also like to have my sex drive written off, and I'd like to be not attracted to women anymore.

I think I'm getting there, my sex drive isn't what it used to be because of medication, and I just feel like I'm absolutley sick of women now because of them never being interested in me, I feel like I've written them off in some way.

A lot of people on here have mentioned that it's not that much easier being asexual because of feeling different from society and like a freak, but it's not really something I'd feel, it's also not an issue with being incel either (although it used to be years ago).

[Mr. Spock]

Ross_K,

So you're looking into chemical castration? That could be a long, hard road- but if you choose to take it… Just to say, as a comment to previous posters, I DO think that being asexual is easier. I’ve talked to my mother and she has the response of thinking how much easier it would be (considering my age) as I wouldn’t even understand that the temptations was supposed to be to do all those stupid things kids do for “love” and then regret the rest of their lives. You can certainly be a decidedly abstinent sexual and survive- but being asexual you don’t even have to worry about it. I wouldn’t want to be sexual. I would always hate knowing that I only felt that because of one of the basic necessities of organisms with separate sexes. It would infuriate me! I can understand why you might want to be asexual- but I’m also a huge advocate for being who you are. But (as I know, being a-gendered) people are not always born how they really are (mentally- your psychology is who you really are) and if your mind is meant to be in an asexual body, shoot for it.

I hope you really aren’t “sick of women” and you just mean that you aren’t sexually attracted or disapprove of some of their stereotypical behaviors. I get frustrated with both genders, but I understand that either biological sex has its ups and downs. Women can be incredibly insightful, sensitive, deep, and profound. Maybe you haven’t run into any- but there are more socially accepting women than men. (Yes, a generalization, but males, by definition of gender, are not supposed to be as “sensitive”.) Being shy is probably what’s keeping you in a box. I’m incredibly introverted, too… I’m just fortunate enough (I’m very probably a-romantic, too) that I don’t need that kind of attention. If you really want it- you can’t expect it to come to you, what about them? They want it to come to them…You probably already know that- but I thought I’d just make the statement. Just wanted to make sure you weren’t really suddenly becoming anti-female. That’d rule out half the population’s friend potential. :D

P.S. Sorry...I went on forever, didn't I? :oops:

[Ross_K]

I'm not anti women, I just don't want to aknowledge they exist anymore, it's like they're not even interested in talking to me.

As for the medication, the main reason why I'm taking it is for anxiety/depression, the great thing about it though is a common side effect is a loss of libido, hopefully once I find an SSRI that works for my anxiety and the dose gets upped, I should lose my sex drive all together.

As for being who I really am, yes, being sexually attracted to women is who I really am, deep down. But it's too painfull. I quit. I do genuinley feel like I don't care anymore, like I'm not interested.

[rainbowbright4jesus]

Or then again maybe not, since asexuals still need and have relationships.

No one has ever been attracted to me in the whole of my life.

Okay, gonna try this quote thingy again. You'd be surprised who's been attracted to who. Honestly, a lot of guys I've met are more interested in personality than looks. They just want someone to be sweet, kind, and loving toward them. If you give them what they want and need, they will be loyal to you. However, there are those few snakes that are back stabbing cheaters and heartbreakers that ruin it for all guys. Trust me, I've stereotyped guys because of one. That, and I'm not always forgiving in a relationship.

But anywho, you are who you are. Ever seen that movie "Shallow Hal?" I love that movie. It's about this guy who's dad told him he had to marry a beautiful girl instead of for love. He gets hypnotized and sees all women that have a beautiful heart and personality as amazing and beautiful. However, everyone else around him sees the women he talks to as ugly, fat, and gross. It's a good movie, and you should see it.

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