DayDreamer~ Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Forewarning: Sorry if the poll is lame, but this is my first one. >-<' A little while ago my friend said something that really astounded me, so I thought I would bring the question here to the community. We were talking about love and relationships, and being asexual, I use the term love solely to mean 'a feeling of deep affection' or something of the sort. I consider love and lust to be separate, different things, and I believe that both exist. My friend, however, said that she doesn't believe in love. She said she believes only lust exists, which shocked me. I suppose that could be my asexuality speaking, since I associate lust with sexual feelings, which I don't experience- yet I know I love my family, and that I want to love someone else one day with all my heart. I guess I was just curious to see what opinions people had here on the subject, if this makes any sense. Do you think love is a real thing? What exactly is love? - Note: If there is already a topic for this, please let me know. Didn't find anything myself though. Link to post Share on other sites
cakeman Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Love is a real thing. If it wasn't, marriages wouldn't be so common. Love is a bond between people they consider special and that makes them feel special and "the one." Love is mutual: if you get married you both love each other. Love can be because someone does things for you that you appreciate and love, love can be when you want to be with someone because they are a kind, loving person and will support you, or love is when someone makes you feel special and unique, and you want to be around that Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 love is a set of hormones, emotions, biological instincts etc etc. It's a physically measurable thing that scientists have studied in laboratories. It's something that many people can actually feel and it can change their behavior and moods etc. There are of course different kinds of love (the love of a parent for their child/romantic love/friendship etc) and each different kind causes different reactions/behaviors/etc. Some people react really badly to love (especially romantic love), some people become more positive and happy and motivated as a result of love, but regardless of the different types of reactions - it's definitely real. Link to post Share on other sites
Chorvus Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 One can love family members or pets without lusting after them. Link to post Share on other sites
straightouttamordor Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 I think the definition can vary from person to person a bit. There is some commonality among people. Empathy, affection, longing to be with that person are some that come to mind for me. I guess I would just ask someone what they believe love is before moving into relationship terrain with them. Link to post Share on other sites
ChillaKilla Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 I don't feel it the same way the majority of people do, but I'm fully aware my experiences do not dictate those of others so of course it does. Link to post Share on other sites
SithAzathoth WinterDragon Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 It does, but I rather not be in a relationship. I rather have my space and comforts to myself. How I see love it's not the " I want to be with you in bed" I never slept with anyone and have no interest. How I see it, it's loving solitude and being single, loving someone like a relative such as a sister or mother. The real love I only may have experienced one in a long distance relationship but I never wanted more from them. Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpy Alien Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 I love people (and animals) in non-sexual ways so yes, definitely. Link to post Share on other sites
Starfall Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 Love is when thinking about someone makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. I imagine lust is included in that feeling for allosexuals. Maybe a little simplistic, but I think that about sums it up. Also this. Link to post Share on other sites
Puck Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 Yes it exists! It is wonderful, and amazing, and the best gift ever given to me. Love is when someone else happiness (or lack there of) effects yours, when someone else's problems feel like they are your problems, when you trust them to always do what they think is best for you (even if you disagree on what that is). Love is when you take ownership of another's problems, when their goals feel as important as yours, when your life feels complete when that other person is there to talk it through or experience it with you. Love is certainly what I feel when I'm at an ice cream shop looking through the glass, but that might be not what the original question was asking.... Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 Of course it does, there's no question about that. Link to post Share on other sites
JAKQ7111 Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 I guess the follow-up question I have is: Is romantic love real? Are what we think of today as romantic relationships a recent phenomenon, or did they exist in the days when marriage was not associated with romantic love? Link to post Share on other sites
AshenPhoenix Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 This is a difficult question because currently, culturally, love scientifically and love conceptually aren't really separated. Many people who argue love isn't a thing boil it down to chemicals that make us feel a certain way. Basically, in a given situation, your brain can literally fire chemicals that force you to feel a certain way. But IMO, the same is basically true for each and every one of our responses and emotions. At the end of the day if you want to argue it, we're basically just robots being driven by a super complex processor. In this case it becomes tricky to debate, because most of our emotions could be argued to drive this way, but ultimately that's more jsut a matter of "are you okay with what you feel being boiled down to a formula?" My response, most commonly, is in the words of Elanor Lamb "Love is just a chemical, we give it meaning by choice." But, conceptual love, the idea of love. Is commonly debated as well, what precisely is it? What exact feelings does it elicit from a person? Is it special, or infinite? Is it simply a stupid biological response, or something that transcends the conscious mind? Is it something we are forced into, or a wonderful choice we consciously make? All questions that I feel many people have asked themselves and others at some point, and all still equally difficult to answer. On topic. I think love exists, conceptually and physically. It comes in different categories and different levels depending on the person and situation. But there is definitely a category of feelings totally separate from the ones I feel for other occasions that rears it's head when I feel love for my family, friends, or romantic partner(s) Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 I think romantic love is an illusion and never lasts, but real 'love' is just wanting the best for someone. A bit like good parenting - wanting to provide the best care/experiences/ opportunities for offspring. Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 Having experienced it for the first time, after finding AVEN, I've changed my mind to 'yes'. Link to post Share on other sites
Yinlotus93 Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 I know love is real b/c I have seen it and felt in many forms throughout my life. I love my family more than anything else in the world. I have platonic love for my best friend I've known since grade school. I have loved and had my heartbroken when I've had pets that i developed a close bond with and lost them. And I absolutely believe that romantic love exists. It doesn't happen to everyone, but even for those for whom romantic connections are possible for it can still be very rare. It can be hard to find, and even when it does happen it takes a lot of work and energy to maintain. Real love, even when it doesn't always work out and can be lost, it's something you wouldn't regret having experienced and had even for what time it was there. It's being selfless, giving warmth, being sincere, being vulnerable, giving trust, it can make you strong, it is something positive either in a big or a small way, it's something that you feel inside and know is just good, it always changes you somehow, and is both solid, but ever changing. Overall, I think love is never just one way to care about someone or something, it's got a lot of different forms and happens in a lot of different situations. Whether you feel it for someone, or someone feels it for you in some form, it's something you don't every really forget. (well um, I did my best to explain it the way I've come to understand it. Love is also hard to put into words i think ^_^' So um...yeah.) Link to post Share on other sites
drjohnhwatson Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 On 3/30/2017 at 7:30 PM, cakeman said: Love is a real thing. If it wasn't, marriages wouldn't be so common. Love is a bond between people they consider special and that makes them feel special and "the one." Love is mutual: if you get married you both love each other. Love can be because someone does things for you that you appreciate and love, love can be when you want to be with someone because they are a kind, loving person and will support you, or love is when someone makes you feel special and unique, and you want to be around that Mmmm...I don't know that I would necessarily say that you love each other if you get married. Some people get married because they got someone pregnant and feel an obligation; my mom said that if my dad had got her pregnant, she would not have accepted a proposal from him because she would think he did it only out of obligation and not out of love. Not to mention that in the past (and in certain cultures) marriage is a tool to unify groups together or is arranged at birth or even before. But I think love is real. I mean, you can love objects, animals, people, places... Link to post Share on other sites
iff Posted April 2, 2018 Share Posted April 2, 2018 @DayDreamer~ This poll is being locked and moved to the read only Census archive for it's respective year. As part of ongoing Census organization, and in an attempt to keep the demographics of the polls current with the active user base at the time, the polls will last for one year from now on. However, members are allowed and even encouraged to re-start new polls similar to the archived ones if they like them. iff, Census Forum Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.