MsPoetryNMotion Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 30 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JoyEngland Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 I've been asexual all my life; I'm 50+ now. But I didn't know it had a name/label until last year when suddenly there was this panic-like upsurge in the UK about everyone needing to find a sex/gender identity and all the hundreds of names for every kind of person were invented. So according to the naming of types for most of my life I've been 'demiheteroromantic' though for the past 20 years I've been what I personally now describe as HETEROPLATONIC - which is seeking a devoted affectionate relationship (marriage) with a man in which sexual intercourse is neither desired nor practiced. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 I always knew, but knew before there was a term, so I just called myself a 'nosexual' (hey, I didn't know what that "a" meant in front of a word as a kid). I heard the term a few times in my 20s, but thought people were making fun of me thinking they meant asexual reproduction, as I didn't know there was now a term. I think I was 28 or 29 before I found AVEN for the first time and learned the labels. It took all of three seconds to know which labels applied to me; there was never a doubt. Helps I've always been very anti-conformist in many, many ways. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lycan Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 I was in my early 30s. 30, 31ish. It has only been a few years and I am not entirely sure what labels I would like to use under the umbrella but Grey Ace seems to fit fine for now. As soon as I started learning about it online I was getting a neck ache from all the nodding and practically screaming, "Yes! These people exhist?! This is me! That is so me!" It was life changing. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kia Hiraeth Posted August 25, 2018 Share Posted August 25, 2018 I was in my early 40's when I over heard some coworkers (who are much younger then me) discussing what they all thought their sexuality was and asexuality was mentioned. I had never heard the term before so I looked up the definition for asexuality and I was “oh my god's this fits me exactly!”. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Davina Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 I now 80 and only discovered AVEN about 12 months ago. What a relief to feel validated about my lack of sexual desire and yet to understand how I have still enjoyed many experiences of loving in life. Actually, I have decided to write (what might finish up to being a book) about my journey, choices in life and efforts to fit into a sexualized world. 13 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tyke Posted August 30, 2018 Author Share Posted August 30, 2018 4 hours ago, Davina said: Actually, I have decided to write (what might finish up to being a book) about my journey, choices in life and efforts to fit into a sexualized world. What a wonderful idea! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Spaceunicorn Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 April Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Louise928 Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 I had my "awakening" like four weeks ago (I'm 30)... 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Demi Dad Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 i woke up around June i'm 47 stay awake to learn mor about myself 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 @Demi Dad, welcome to AVEN 🎂 🎂 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Demi Dad Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 (edited) thank you Skycaptain i am very grateful for this forum to relate and release some of my thoughts & to learn about myself and in the future to help some one else if i can (PS if you or anyone see me making a mistake let me know never to late to learn from it an fix it) Edited September 9, 2018 by Demi Dad saw a error fixed it 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The Dryad Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 ....maybe 21? It was a couple of years ago I stumbled upon a couple of videos on Asexuality on YouTube, and I started ghost following AVEN forums for awhile, then I wanted to join because the topics are so interesting! I really like it here. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Flashstick Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 I have a friend who came out as asexual in college, so it was on my radar when I was probably 21 or so. I’m 27 now and have just started applying the term to myself after realizing that people actually do like to have sex that much, it’s not just a turn of phrase or something and I’ve never felt that way. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 6 hours ago, Demi Dad said: thank you Skycaptain i am very grateful for this forum to relate and release some of my thoughts & to learn about myself and in the future to help some one else if i can (PS if you or anyone see me making a mistake let me know never to late to learn from it an fix it) Welcome to AVEN. The first part sounds exactly how I've felt since I 'rediscovered' the forum last year. My first exposure to it was back in 2005. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dragon_cake Posted September 13, 2018 Share Posted September 13, 2018 I noticed by age ten that I was asexual but I didn't know there was a term or sexual orientation for it until I saw a community on Tumblr when I was a college freshman around 2000's. It's nice to know I'm not the only one wondering what the big deal or hype is over sex much less sexual content/context at the time. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Zub Posted September 27, 2018 Share Posted September 27, 2018 (edited) About the age of 17 (1997) I realised I didn't like folk sexually, just as friends and maybe then as more (someone to hang out with). Sexuality meant nothing about the relationship. Aesthetic appearance means nothing, but holy hell if someone grabs that interest..... EDIT: I should say that in that long time I went into relationships knowing this, hoping it would change me but never did, I feel I lied to them them. Edited September 27, 2018 by Zub 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dogwithbooks Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 2015...when I was 43. I always felt different, but I only had terminology to go with it 3 years ago. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tyke Posted October 15, 2018 Author Share Posted October 15, 2018 14 minutes ago, dogwithbooks said: 2015...when I was 43. I always felt different, but I only had terminology to go with it 3 years ago. it's good when you do find the right words, isn't it? And others who feel the same... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 1 hour ago, Midland Tyke said: it's good when you do find the right words, isn't it? And others who feel the same... Couldn't have said it better! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Optimus Prime Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 Back in High School, when I started dating seriously and realized, I didn’t share much of a connection with girls and only saw them as friends. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Silver Dreamcatcher Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 My realisation that I'm Asexual was this year, I'm 37. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
independent_z Posted October 20, 2018 Share Posted October 20, 2018 I may have been in my 20's the first time I heard the word "asexual" (I'm now in my 40s). It was on a documentary about Greta Garbo, the famous Swedish actress. They said she may actually not have been gay, but asexual. I remember thinking "Oh, I wish asexuality actually was a thing, because that is how I feel". A couple of years ago (20 years later) I Googled the word and found out that it actually is a thing. I found AVEN, twitter accounts, podcasts and blogs about it. And everything I read or heard just fitted. I have mixed feelings about being an asexual (I'm not exactly sure where I am on the spectrum yet). On the one hand it's kind of comforting to be something, not just weird, wrong and different. But on the other hand it's also kind of sad to not be able to experience something that apparently is amazing, to be excluded. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
independent_z Posted October 20, 2018 Share Posted October 20, 2018 On 8/23/2018 at 6:15 AM, LKinney said: I always knew, but knew before there was a term, so I just called myself a 'nosexual' (hey, I didn't know what that "a" meant in front of a word as a kid). I heard the term a few times in my 20s, but thought people were making fun of me thinking they meant asexual reproduction, as I didn't know there was now a term. I think I was 28 or 29 before I found AVEN for the first time and learned the labels. It took all of three seconds to know which labels applied to me; there was never a doubt. Helps I've always been very anti-conformist in many, many ways. Nosexual was a great word to come up with. In my early teens, before I had heard the word asexual, I actually referred to my self as "homo"-sexual, meaning I was equally attracted to all humans (homo), gender didn't matter. I guess it was kind of true, but rather in the sentence of equally UN-attracted to all humans 😂. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
independent_z Posted October 20, 2018 Share Posted October 20, 2018 On 5/11/2018 at 6:46 PM, Carlita71 said: Just discovered there was a word for it last month and I'm 47. It's been difficult. I've been married and divorced twice and I have two adult children. I always thought I was broken! often talked about seeking hormone treatment to see if that would "fix" me. I even had a tubal ligation at 25 to see if that would "cure" my lack of sexual desire. But nope...here I am at 47 and I am so relieved there are others out there that have experienced the same. I am attracted to men but I lack the sexual drive that many like so to me sex is just a chore! lol I am finally living alone (no kids at home even!) and I LOVE it! Exactly!! That is how I feel, it's a chore. Something you just have to do when you're in a relationship. When people find out I've been single since forever they ask me "Don't you miss the sex?". To me it's like asking if I miss vacuuming, doing the dishes, bringing in the mail or even the fighting. 😂 It's just so amazing to scroll through the posts here, realizing there ARE others who think and feel the same way! 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy Cat Lady Posted October 21, 2018 Share Posted October 21, 2018 On 10/20/2018 at 8:35 AM, independent_z said: When people find out I've been single since forever they ask me "Don't you miss the sex?". To me it's like asking if I miss vacuuming, doing the dishes, bringing in the mail or even the fighting. 😂 😂 LOL! Yes! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted October 21, 2018 Share Posted October 21, 2018 On 10/20/2018 at 10:35 AM, independent_z said: Exactly!! That is how I feel, it's a chore. Something you just have to do when you're in a relationship. When people find out I've been single since forever they ask me "Don't you miss the sex?". To me it's like asking if I miss vacuuming, doing the dishes, bringing in the mail or even the fighting. 😂 It's just so amazing to scroll through the posts here, realizing there ARE others who think and feel the same way! I've never been asked that, but had a co-worker say to me that when others had mentioned to him about me being permanently solo (this was back in the 90s). He said that I could come and go as I pleased and didn't have to worry about marriage issues. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SmallBean Posted October 21, 2018 Share Posted October 21, 2018 A little over 14 when I read the term on a pinterest post and looked it up and was like hey that sounds like me and kept reading up on it. I had just turned 15 when I started identifying as ace and then came out to the first person a few months after that and I'm still 15 and working on coming out to more people 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Davina Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 I have not visited AVEN for awhile - too busy writing about my journey to understanding that I was really asexual. From the age of 14 I knew I was different to my peers, but tried to be 'normal' most of my life. I was 76 when I found AVEN and realized that I was OK all along. Better late than never! I am now celebrating being 80 this year and feel good about who I am. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
KitKatKeddie Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 I was nineteen. The repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was all over the news and my ME came out to me. I guess she thought I was a lesbian because I never got involved with or interested in any of the guys. That and I was shy around girls. The whole thing went over my head. She had to spell it out. She thought I was like her and she wanted to support me. After talking, she was the one who helped me figure out I was ace. I’d never even thought about it. She was good people. The best sort of people. I was glad to have her looking out for me. Even if I wasn’t like her in that way. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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