Koly Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 So here I am......a 51 yr old female who finally got an answer/a name for the "problem" I have and thought I was the only one in this Whole World with this thinking/ and these feelings. It's been tearing me up for many a yr, always wondering "What was wrong with ME!" I have been trying to figure this out since I was around 10-12 yrs. I was and have been so afraid to talk to any one about my thinking/feeling on this topic. The other night as I was skimming through the channels I saw there was a documentary on Asexual. Hummm, I thought, so decided to watch it and OMG there it was!! the answer to my so called "problem" and I was Not Alone in this. It had a NAME and I was amazed so many others felt the same way I did about having sex...... I'm sure I don't need to go into detail about what it was like growing up, the teen age yrs, etc. I knew I wanted to find a nice guy and get married, have kids and I did just that, BUT the relationship fizzled because I wanted the whole package just not the sex. So there i've finally spilt the beans-in a nut shell- to strangers who in the future could be friends. I will only be posting on this Older Asexual site. I am looking forward to respectful conversation and hopefully more insight on this topic. Link to post Share on other sites
Clumsy Fairy Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 Wow... That is so cool.... Well, welcome to the party. Link to post Share on other sites
Techie Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 11 minutes ago, Koly said: So here I am......a 51 yr old female who finally got an answer/a name for the "problem" I have and thought I was the only one in this Whole World with this thinking/ and these feelings. It's been tearing me up for many a yr, always wondering "What was wrong with ME!" When I discovered AVEN and what "asexuality" is over three years ago it was like a light bulb going on. I always assumed I was "heterosexual" because I can experience attraction and infatuation for females. It wasn't until I started reading here that what I was experiencing was romantic attraction and not sexual attraction. From that point on, everything about my lack of interest in a physical relationship made sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Xenobot Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 It's such a relief to realize you're not broken, isn't it? Hopefully as asexual visibility increases in the world, there will be less and less people going through the motions of sexual relationships and struggling with the feeling that there's something wrong with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Andiamo Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 Hello and welcome to AVEN! I'm so glad you found us, and that you decided to join. You are definitely not alone. Enjoy the forums! Link to post Share on other sites
NerotheReaper Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 It is a huge relief and a good feeling to realize, that you aren't broken. A lot of people before finding out about the asexual community do believe that there is something wrong with them, that in such a sexual world why don't we feel the same as our peers. Why do we feel isolated even in public, after finding out about AVEN and there are other people like us we feel relieved. Since a lot of aces do have people in their lives, who treat them like aliens for not having sexual attraction to either gender. Shocking fact is we aren't aliens Welcome to AVEN! Link to post Share on other sites
Gentle Giant Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 @Koly Welcome to AVEN! Check out our Anyone Past 50 Thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 @Koly. Welcome to AVEN 🎂 🎂 By all means enjoy the oldies area, but there are many more interesting and useful fora to explore here as well Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Sunrise Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Welcome, @Koly You're certainly not alone, or weird, and I hope you find lots of new friends here Link to post Share on other sites
Blackthorn Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Welcome to AVEN Link to post Share on other sites
Koly Posted March 18, 2017 Author Share Posted March 18, 2017 Thank you all for Welcoming me It sure does feel good to know I am not alone, such a weight has been taken off me! If I may ask, what are/was some of your thought processes & experiences in finding out you were Asexual? So many gals have missed out on possible relationships with guys because of this-and yes i'll say it- stupid world view on the whole sex thing. Books , Therapists, & people all talking about 'how often you have to have it' and how many marriages have broken up because it. I always wondered, if we just had sex to make babies, and the rest of the time just really taking time to know your loved one, experience all what life has to offer with out any pressure of 'sex' , I think there would be many more Great relationships/marriages. Anyways, just sayin a bit of what I think. As we are all here because of our preference, what are some of your thoughts on this whole Asexual thing. Just a newbie here grasping at straws. Link to post Share on other sites
Koly Posted March 20, 2017 Author Share Posted March 20, 2017 I have so many questions ???? Did you feel this way all your life? Did you wonder what it was? Did you think you were 'broken'? How did you find out this emotion you were feeling was Asexual? Did you have any one to talk to about this in your younger yrs? or did you hide it like me. Did you marry thinking that marriage would 'fix' this feeling? Etc, etc, etc.............??????????????????????????????? Oh I could ask questions all day..... Link to post Share on other sites
MrDane Posted March 20, 2017 Share Posted March 20, 2017 @Koly I will welcome you, though I am the sexual part of a relationship with a loving wife, who didnt know for the first 10+ years of our marriage. No, you are not broken, you are different from the aprox. 99% who are somewhat sexual! I am 40+ and with three kids. I think my wife wanted the whole family thing as well, but found out that the sex part was not just something to be learned. We both blamed all kinds of things, stressful job, low selfesteem, being overweigth, small children, tired, messy kitchen, hard day tommorrow, not enough in love, hard day yesterday, feeling bloated, gassy, headache... Link to post Share on other sites
TheGrumpyBear Posted March 20, 2017 Share Posted March 20, 2017 Welcome home. Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted March 20, 2017 Share Posted March 20, 2017 Welcome, @Koly, and have some ! Link to post Share on other sites
Nidwin Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 Welcome home Koly Link to post Share on other sites
Koly Posted March 22, 2017 Author Share Posted March 22, 2017 I do feel at home here, thanks every one Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.