Jump to content

Married to an Asexual for 26 years


Lynn Quire

Recommended Posts

I've been Married to an Asexual for 26 years. We didn't know for years that's what he was, by then it was too late, we had 2 kids. We bought a fixer upper house immediately after the Wedding, so that was the 1st excuse, then we started our own Business, 15 hour Work Days, 2nd excuse. 5 years later, Sex maybe 5 times"forced on my part", 2 kids Amazingly. So, for the next 15 years I went through so many emotions, is he gay, is he cheating, does he see Prostitutes? I went through depression, I started drinking. It got bad for a few years. I snapped out of it.  Once the kids started driving and became independent, I told him I was done. He begged to help him understand why he's like that. I researched til I figured it out. He's Asexual, he agrees. It can't be fixed. I'm living with it for now. Lucky, I was responsible for my own orgasm before I met him, and I've only gotten better, so I'll be fine.  Besides the lack of  Sex, kissing, touching, holding hands, really any intimacy at all. We have a good relationship, we get along, no arguing. He works hard and I do what I want. I Travel.......... Alone, I've been all over the Country, I drive. I take several road trips a year, and he never says anything. He has his own hobbies that keep him busy. He's Happy. We've had sex maybe 3 times in 15-20 years. I just get lonely for attention, he gives me none. He wonders why I'm always planning my next trip........hmmmm

Link to post
Share on other sites

This type of story is fairly common among older people in the asexual community, who didn't find out about asexuality until recently. One of the main goals of AVEN and other asexual resources is to raise awareness, in order to prevent this type of misunderstanding.

I'm not sure what else to say, besides suggesting that continued communication with your husband regarding your respective hopes for the relationship is important. Some sexual/asexual couples negotiate open relationships, although of course that raises its own set of challenges and it's by no means an arrangement that works for everyone.

Besides that, congratulations on your two children, and your business. It sounds like you've done well in many respects.

Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, Lynn Quire said:

I've been Married to an Asexual for 26 years. We didn't know for years that's what he was, by then it was too late, we had 2 kids. We bought a fixer upper house immediately after the Wedding, so that was the 1st excuse, then we started our own Business, 15 hour Work Days, 2nd excuse. 5 years later, Sex maybe 5 times"forced on my part", 2 kids Amazingly. So, for the next 15 years I went through so many emotions, is he gay, is he cheating, does he see Prostitutes? I went through depression, I started drinking. It got bad for a few years. I snapped out of it.  Once the kids started driving and became independent, I told him I was done. He begged to help him understand why he's like that. I researched til I figured it out. He's Asexual, he agrees. It can't be fixed. I'm living with it for now. Lucky, I was responsible for my own orgasm before I met him, and I've only gotten better, so I'll be fine.  Besides the lack of  Sex, kissing, touching, holding hands, really any intimacy at all. We have a good relationship, we get along, no arguing. He works hard and I do what I want. I Travel.......... Alone, I've been all over the Country, I drive. I take several road trips a year, and he never says anything. He has his own hobbies that keep him busy. He's Happy. We've had sex maybe 3 times in 15-20 years. I just get lonely for attention, he gives me none. He wonders why I'm always planning my next trip........hmmmm

 

Why don't you start having a boyfriend? Or just divorce? It's very clear that he doesn't fulfill you sexually, emotionally or in any other personal aspect not related with business or kids. Now you don't have a marriage you have a Company.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...