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butterflydreams

a gender positive thread

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nerdperson777

My transition really took off this week, right after I came back from a week long vacation.  I got a call Monday morning clarifying my papers for my legal name change.  The desk clerk said that my doctor letter said male but my application said non-binary.  I had to clarify that the people who filled the forms for me didn't have non-binary forms available so they marked male for me, but I did want to be legally non-binary.  (The clerk also wasn't a native English speaker so they accidentally said non berry.  Yes, I'm not a berry.)  They said that I could go get my papers on Wednesday or wait to have them mailed to me.  So my plan was to go get the papers Wednesday.

 

Then Wednesday morning, I got a call from my top surgeon's office.  They said that they had a space available for me on October 8th.  That's less than two weeks from now.  They said that I had a day to decide, when I couldn't say yes right away (plus I was driving at the time).  I had to ask for advice from my group, which it would affect.  They said that I should do it early so I would have ample time to heal for our performances.  I was mostly afraid of how it would affect my work schedule and the one physical class I'm taking, as that requires me to lift my arms above my head.  I called two hours later to confirm that I would take that October 8th date.  Then I got asked for confirmation that it was for Double Incision.  No, I'm doing Keyhole.  The surgeon does 5-6 DI and 1 Keyhole on his surgery days and there was already a Keyhole patient on October 8th.  So I was offered a POTENTIAL date of November 15th.  My surgeon is hoping to find a place that will let him do surgeries on Fridays so he can open up that day.  November 15th isn't confirmed.  It's contingent on him getting a facility.  My confirmed surgery date is February 25th next year so if I can get any earlier date, that'd be great.  Then I picked up those court order papers.

 

On Thursday, I went to the DMV with my roommate.  They wanted to get a California license so they can vote on Californian issues instead of the state on their license.  I was obviously changing my name on my license, and then getting a Real ID.  I'll get my new ID in 3-6 weeks.

 

Then today, I went to the Social Security Administration to change that identity.  That male gender on the doctor's note was helpful here.  Doctor's note is no longer required for the court order.  So that didn't go to waste.  I'm legally male for Social Security purposes.  I tried to go to the bank to change my name there.  I waited there for like an hour.  I was told that I happened to come on the busiest day there, since it was the last Friday of the month, which is when people try to get their payments in for whatever.  Since I had a joint account with my mom, I couldn't change any of the things.  I wasn't allowed to have one account with my new name and the other with my old name.  One social security number can't have two names.  I dodged one bullet by not needing my parents' social security for changing my name in the social security but I can't avoid this one.  I did text my mom asking for that info, but she didn't reply.  I forgot she was on a plane on a trip at that time so I deleted it when I no longer needed that info.  I don't know when I'm going to drop that bomb that I legally changed my name and gender.  Is my mom going to be transphobic and not let me change the name on my bank account?  She doesn't like rocking boats but in this case I'm rocking it first and she can either rock with it or fall off the boat.  She should rock with it because she can't swim.

 

ANYWAY that's my week with transition progress.  I never thought I'd write so much in this thread when usually people just write small things they're happy about.  I'm not sure what else I need to change, passport?  I tried looking online for a checklist.  I downloaded one a while ago but I think it's on my old computer.  I found a "new bride" checklist instead.  So heteronormative, but it was useful.  I'm not sure how I'll get used to it yet.  Not having people look at my ID and question it?  They'll question the X maybe but at least my name is correct.  I'm not sure what to do with the car insurance.  The family insurance agent is a close friend so she will find out about it.  But her older son is very progressive and uses terms like Latinx rather than Latino and Latina.  He wants to be the first Asian Supreme Court Justice.  I feel like the son would understand but not sure about the mom.  He's a month older than me and she had been shipping us since we were born.  She offered him to me at the beginning of senior year to take me to prom.  I might have crushed those hopes there.

 

So passport, car insurance, bank, I think.

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Celyn
1 hour ago, nerdperson777 said:

She doesn't like rocking boats but in this case I'm rocking it first and she can either rock with it or fall off the boat.  She should rock with it because she can't swim.

DAMN RIGHT bro! It's your life, not hers! I'm so happy for you!

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PoeciMeta

Yesterday, I kinda sorta ''came out'' to a friend via text - to be more frank, I confessed that my psychiatrist may be suspecting gender dysphoria and that I was really questioning a lot of stuff and being concerned, which is still kinda true; I was testing the waters, so to speak. 

While I was typing this, they somehow felt appropriate to send me ''Oh, btw, I've been thinking, would you prefer me to refer to you in masculine?"

I got a very WTF happy/bewildered moment. 

Still can't believe in this godsend of a coincidence. 

 

Edit: a few texts later we're already joking about it. 

 

Edit 2: This didn't really happen out of nowhere though, I'd been especially cautious about not misgendering myself lately and tried as much as I could not to use feminine participes and adjectives (you know, the joy of gendered languages...) and defaulted to masculine when it couldn't be helped - could always blame autocorrect just in case. 

So they thought I preferred masculine language, and asked exactly in the right moment. 

Still, it felt very weird. 

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daveb
8 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

ANYWAY that's my week with transition progress.

Wow! You go, Coach! :cake: 

 

7 hours ago, PoeciMeta said:

 

Edit: a few texts later we're already joking about it. 

hee hee :D 

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Just Dani

@nerdperson777 Congrats! :D 

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ColeHW34

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Alex_S

2 months post top surgery and I just did gym for the first time. Running is actually fun now!!

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Orb

-I really like how my voice has lowered on hormones and recently I've been able to sing a little better again (my voice was really sore and unstable for a long time) and I can even reach some high notes.

 

-I like how my face has changed as well. I think it's very androgynous right now, which is kinda what I was hoping for. I have pretty eyes and lips but more of a prominent nose and browbone, also my jaw has gotten a bit bigger.

 

-I like my hands, wrists, legs, and feet. I like my body hair. I like my weird alien toes. I like my middle-sized birthmark on my right shin. I like that I have duck feet and goat legs.

 

-Sometimes I actually like my body. Although there are things I'd like to change still, I do like finally having a flat-ish chest. I'm kinda chubby so it's not completely flat. But it's all just starting to look a bit more proportionate.

 

-I like my brain. I like that I am honest and can admit when I'm wrong. I enjoy my creativity. I like that I am smart in a lot of things like languages and puzzles. I like that I don't have much difficulty with learning new things.

 

-I am actually pretty content with my height of 5'6'' I know it's something a lot of people tend to be dyshporic about, but for me it's never been a problem. Well I can't reach to the top shelf of our upper kitchen cabinets, but there's not much on there anyway.

 

-I love my hair. I used to hate that it's curly, but now I embraced it. In the summer it gets golden-ish, but it's normally brownish. It's really full and thick. Not gonna lie it can get a bit annoying, and the hormones have been making my hair fall out continuously, but my mane won't resize resize :P.

 

Edited by Orb
I mistyped mane as main
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cp1213

My enby friend got themselves a binder and I'm so happy for them!

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nerdperson777

Two weeks until top surgery!

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ColeHW34
On 10/27/2019 at 11:12 PM, cp1213 said:

My enby friend got themselves a binder and I'm so happy for them!

 

23 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

Two weeks until top surgery!

Yay for both of you!

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DuranDuranfan

Lately, I’ve been working up the(phantom) cajones to use the Men’s bathroom as it’s very affirming for my masculine side. I started by using the stalls first, then the urinals when it hasn’t been too busy. Feeling more and more confident everyday. 
 

Im still practicing at home with the STP packer I have so for now I’m using the method I learned when researching how to pee standing up with AFAB anatomy, the two finger method(my default setting), From behind, it looks like the exact stance a MAAB uses when peeing. Thank goodness for privacy dividers. When using my default method I prefer the urinals with dividers between them, that way it just looks like I’m a guy adjusting himself before and after peeing.

 

Spoiler

With AFAB anatomy, the inner labia gets coated with the mucus produced by the vagina, and in the process of walking around, the inner labia near where the urethral opening also gets coated in the mucus. Things get a bit slippery, and I use my other fingers to hold open my underwear and jeans. I quickly wipe with my underwear down there, hence all the ‘adjustments’.

 

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nerdperson777
3 hours ago, DuranDuranfan said:

Lately, I’ve been working up the(phantom) cajones to use the Men’s bathroom as it’s very affirming for my masculine side. I started by using the stalls first, then the urinals when it hasn’t been too busy. Feeling more and more confident everyday. 
 

Im still practicing at home with the STP packer I have so for now I’m using the method I learned when researching how to pee standing up with AFAB anatomy, the two finger method(my default setting), From behind, it looks like the exact stance a MAAB uses when peeing. Thank goodness for privacy dividers. When using my default method I prefer the urinals with dividers between them, that way it just looks like I’m a guy adjusting himself before and after peeing.

 

  Reveal hidden contents

With AFAB anatomy, the inner labia gets coated with the mucus produced by the vagina, and in the process of walking around, the inner labia near where the urethral opening also gets coated in the mucus. Things get a bit slippery, and I use my other fingers to hold open my underwear and jeans. I quickly wipe with my underwear down there, hence all the ‘adjustments’.

 

I have way too much anxiety to be able to just pee like that.  Sometimes I take 5 minutes to start peeing when I sit, so once I did try a urinal and I just got tired standing there.  And I think when I did, all the pee just went down my leg.  STPs have fueled my curiosity enough and I don't need to pee standing up in public.  I'm better in a stall.

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DuranDuranfan
9 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

I have way too much anxiety to be able to just pee like that.  Sometimes I take 5 minutes to start peeing when I sit, so once I did try a urinal and I just got tired standing there.  And I think when I did, all the pee just went down my leg.  STPs have fueled my curiosity enough and I don't need to pee standing up in public.  I'm better in a stall.

Hey, everybody’s different. 🙂

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nerdperson777
3 hours ago, DuranDuranfan said:

Hey, everybody’s different. 🙂

Yeah, I never bring my STP or any packers outside anymore.  It's too much trouble for me.  Plus T gives me genitals that are too sensitive so I don't need all that rubbing up against me all day.

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PoeciMeta

I took off some stitches on my fitted shirts to straighten them, yay ^^

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Calligraphette_Coe

Kinda sad today to here about he passing of Walter Mercado. This seemed like a good place to post this, even though many might say he wasn't trans. But, he did manage to become a celebrity how felt free to break gender norms in what was pretty much an ultra conservaive society.

 

From the article, his catch phrase:

 

Quote

 "Sobre todo, mucho, mucho amor," which translates to “Above all, lots and lots of love.”

 

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PoeciMeta

I came out to my friend!! =D Not a half-meant, cowardly 'I might be but I dont actually know okay' this time, an actual statement!! 

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Celyn
4 minutes ago, PoeciMeta said:

I came out to my friend!! =D Not a half-meant, cowardly 'I might be but I dont actually know okay' this time, an actual statement!! 

Hooray! I'm so proud of you!

*Doots on one of those party tooters*

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Custard Cream
9 minutes ago, PoeciMeta said:

I came out to my friend!! =D Not a half-meant, cowardly 'I might be but I dont actually know okay' this time, an actual statement!! 

Yay!  Well done!

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Kimmie.
12 minutes ago, PoeciMeta said:

I came out to my friend!! =D Not a half-meant, cowardly 'I might be but I dont actually know okay' this time, an actual statement!! 

That is awesome! 

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Life Of Tass

Congrats @PoeciMeta!

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PoeciMeta

Thank you everyone! I'm so glad it went well!! ^^ 

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daveb
2 hours ago, PoeciMeta said:

Thank you everyone! I'm so glad it went well!! ^^ 

:cake: :D 

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ColeHW34
2 hours ago, PoeciMeta said:

I came out to my friend!! =D Not a half-meant, cowardly 'I might be but I dont actually know okay' this time, an actual statement!! 

Congrats!

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cp1213
10 hours ago, PoeciMeta said:

I came out to my friend!! =D Not a half-meant, cowardly 'I might be but I dont actually know okay' this time, an actual statement!! 

Yay! I’m so happy for you! :) 

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Ms. Carolynne

My choker came in the mail today. I struggled a bit getting it on (the clasp is kind of small, and I'm not coordinated), but I felt so great when I got it on!

 

Like, I don't know, I felt feminine, and it made me look feminine. I got a huge rush of euphoria, I didn't even expect to feel that good about wearing a choker, but it's such a cute choker!

 

I'm not sure how to explain it, but I genuinely smiled, which I haven't done in a long time. I don't know, I might've even felt kind of good about my appearance :lol:

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Kimmie.
12 minutes ago, Ms. Carolynne said:

My choker came in the mail today. I struggled a bit getting it on (the clasp is kind of small, and I'm not coordinated), but I felt so great when I got it on!

 

Like, I don't know, I felt feminine, and it made me look feminine. I got a huge rush of euphoria, I didn't even expect to feel that good about wearing a choker, but it's such a cute choker!

 

I'm not sure how to explain it, but I genuinely smiled, which I haven't done in a long time. I don't know, I might've even felt kind of good about my appearance :lol:

I am so happy for you! 

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Celyn
6 minutes ago, Kimmie. said:

I am so happy for you! 

Ditto!

Chokers are super cute, I'm sure you look killer in it 💜

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Bloc

Nice that you feel so good with your choker.

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