a gender positive thread

[Lonemathsytoothbrushthief]

My mum finally called me Sigi and is going to use my name as well as they/them pronouns in English hopefully we'll figure out a solution when speaking in German too! I feel super happy with her. ❤️

[Lonemathsytoothbrushthief]

On 5/9/2018 at 8:38 AM, Celyn said:

@OptimisticPessimist Great links there. I think it's awesome that channel 4 are doing this, I'm so pleased about it. Yeah outing someone without their consent is always a shitty thing to do, but it's not channel 4's fault, and I think they did the right thing to show the mistakes that are made and how people can be insensitive, because it makes it clear that it's a problem.

I do believe that Genderquake will make a difference by making non-binary and trans people seem more relatable and human to cis people.

I'm going to get the negatives over with here. The thing I hate about genderquake was they involved one of the biggest and regularly-platformed TERFs in the making of it, Germaine Greer. But the programme did offer me an opportunity to try and get my dad to understand things a bit more from my perspective. I'm not sure if it actually helped because he is incredibly stubborn. But his own stubbornness has finally allowed me to stand up to my mum, who has simply been defensive about my socially transitioning, and now our relationship looks to be improving very quickly. So silver lining and all that jazz.

[Lonemathsytoothbrushthief]

I still love my mum, not long after she agreed to call me Sigi and try they/them pronouns she actually sent me a bunch of videos of people talking about gender neutral/non binary pronouns in German so she's kind of a star right now. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ Also I went clothes shopping for the second time in public since I started identifying as NB(I've been doing lots of online shopping generally even if I have identified this way almost a year now) and actually threw myself in there, I got some comfy trainers from the girl's section and jeans shorts plus a summery top from the guy's section, even used the men's changing rooms! Okay, so I did hide in the neighbouring "home" section with pillows and stuff as an excuse, when there were a lot of guys there, but I made it out and shopped for what I wanted in the end. Aaaaaaaand now I'm hiding from this forum because I've posted so much!!! 🤨 

[Albine]

On 6/3/2018 at 9:22 PM, Mezzo Forte said:

Thanks my friend, I can’t help but smile every time I think about the freedom I have now.  Even though I usually swim in shirts nowadays, I love that I don’t have to struggle with binding or chest dysphoria when I swim now. I promised myself one year of no sunlight on my scars, but haven’t had a chance to do my shirtless beach day. (Also, it takes a lot of sunscreen covering your entire torso rather than just the arms/face/legs, so shirts are nice for getting around that.) Definitely have to have my shirtless swim sometime this summer though!  

Again Congrats! you owe it to yourself to go at some point shirtless as I am sure you will be happy email me or the group and let us know how you feel

[AwkwardAxolotl]

I just realized that two days ago was my 3-years-since-top-surgery anniversary. It didn't occur to me until just now. I never really forget that I'm trans, or that I've had top surgery, etc., but I've gotten to the point where it's at the back of my mind, not at the fore-front.

[Mezzo Forte]

Another shot day, another shot song. I recently got a new phone and finally decided to update my music a bit. I've been on a Streetlight Manifesto kick for the last few years, (they were the first band I tried singing along to when I started transitioning,) so I decided to finally add the Hands that Thieve album and Toh Kay arrangements to my music. Ended up going with one that's been stuck in my head a lot lately:

 

Spoiler

 

 

Full playlist:

Spoiler

 

 

[pma01]

Actually, tbh, I like my genitals I don’t really know why that is, they are very small but I like them that sway.?i don’t really like myself, I consider myself garbage but I like my genitals if that makes any sense

[butterflydreams]

I was calling into one of those conference lines today, where you are prompted to record your name when you call in. When you are actually connected, it plays back the recording of your name. So I said my name, making no real particular effort with my voice. But when it played back, I was like, woah...that really sounds like a woman’s voice. 

[Starbogen]

1 hour ago, butterflydreams said:

I was calling into one of those conference lines today, where you are prompted to record your name when you call in. When you are actually connected, it plays back the recording of your name. So I said my name, making no real particular effort with my voice. But when it played back, I was like, woah...that really sounds like a woman’s voice. 

I had a similar moment a while ago.. I was listening to music on my phone when suddenly this recording came up and it was at a low volume so at first I didn't recognize what I was. I thought it was some voice message someone had sent me and I hadn't deleted and I was like "who is this guy? Wait is it a girl..? No it's a guy.." 

And then when I looked it it turned out to be a recording of my own voice I had made at a some point. 

 

I always struggle with trying to hear what my voice sounds like since it's my voice and I'm biased, but it was cool to react to it while not immediately recognizing it as mine. So it definitely sounds not as definitively male as I'd like but it did sound more like a guy overall.

[KRae]

I'm at a convention right now and participating in a talent show. Going from normal attire to performance attire involved doing a total appearance transition from female to male. My friend did not recognize me. I take that as a huge win. Apparently a binder, a "boy's" shirt, and tucking my hair under a hat is sufficient.

 

 

[SkyWorld]

I’m starting to love the sound of my voice as it continues to get deeper!

 

Also, I can kinda see the muscles in my arms without flexing?! 😮 I love it so much, I can’t wait to build more muscle and be more lean.

[butterflydreams]

Another two wins!

 

I had another conference call and when I was connected, I said hello and the moderator mistook me for another woman who was supposed to be on the call. 

 

Then on Wednesday I was taking my car in to be inspected. I called ahead to confirm my appointment and I heard the woman on the phone ask someone, “she’s just confirming her appointment, when is it?”. Then, when I got there, the tech who was looking over my car told the woman in the office that he had “talked to her about some of the lights not working”. 

 

I think I’m really starting to pass solidly. Except at work, that’s still my problem child.

[Guest]

Going to get, hopefully, my first HRT prescription next thursdays at the hospital

 

I CANT WAIT.

[Kimmie.]

16 minutes ago, Phoenix the II said:

Going to get, hopefully, my first HRT prescription next thursdays at the hospital

 

I CANT WAIT.

OMG i am so happy for you!! and maybe a tiny bit envious☺️

[Guest]

I love my eyes. They’re grayish green and the proportion of gray to green can change depending on my mood, what I’m wearing, or even the weather. When I wear purple they look almost completely green.

[Dawning]

On June 8, 2018 at 1:02 AM, pma01 said:

Actually, tbh, I like my genitals I don’t really know why that is, they are very small but I like them that sway.?i don’t really like myself, I consider myself garbage but I like my genitals if that makes any sense

It's 100% fine to like any part of your body, whatever it might look like, and you don't have to give anybody a reason! You are certainly NOT garbage! What do you think makes you feel that way? 

[nerdperson777]

I guess I came out to my co-workers.  Two co-workers were eating lunch outside and I was there.  One (F) asked the gay one (H) about the Pride Parade and whether he was going.  It evolved into previous Pride Parades.  H said that when gay marriage was first legalized here, there was like a million people there.  So I said that maybe there would be more next year because it'll be easier to change name and gender.  I mentioned that currently, people have to say in the local news paper that they're changing from birth name to new name and go file a court case.  H could see the hints I'm leaving so I ended up coming out.  I was asked about my legal name, and what pronouns I use.  So now those two know.  I'm coming to a conclusion that the more people are comfortable with their gender and trans status, they may not mind being out.  I probably wouldn't have done this years back.  My ideal group of friends would know so that we could make gender and sexuality jokes, and have non-cishet qualities themselves.  So now I guess I've let these two in.  I joked that they probably wondered why I'm so short and tiny compared to them, who are like 5' 10" and have percent body fat in like the 14-17% when I'm like 5' 4" and over 20% body fat.  (We have these resources at work.) 

H commented on our company diversity.  (I actually question whether F is bi because he once mentioned a partner and had an ex-gf...)

I also question my old coach, since he rather choose significant other as a term replacement for wife.

[Lonemathsytoothbrushthief]

I feel a lot more like myself tbh, it feels really nice to introduce myself as Sigi to so many people now and no one but forms online really need to know that it's not my legal name. My mum, therapist, department staff and friends now use it, though I have yet to get pronouns sorted with mum or the department. But honestly the name already feels really good. Also I generally feel like I can move towards a body I like with exercise for now. ❤️ I need to get a referral for the gender clinic people at some point but I'm still nervous. And I mean although I consistently want top surgery and HRT the degree to which I care changes a lot. Which makes it difficult to make time, especially with executive dysfunction stuff. But I feel good in general.

[Mezzo Forte]

I just realized that I forgot to post my latest shot songs

 

Actually, on the drive home from work that day, this song started playing on my phone that I forgot existed, but still really enjoyed. Thought that its  Ended up making it my shot song.

Spoiler

 

 

Full Playlist:

Spoiler

 

 

[Sortainthemiddle435]

On 3/4/2017 at 9:35 PM, Guest And Peggy said:

I have found a way to bind (during my agender days) that doesn't damage my breasts (for my ultrafeminine days) 

How??!? PLEASE TELL ME YOUR WAYS

[butterflydreams]

Omg, not a good day for gendering. Met someone new at work, she comes into my office, I shake her hand, and she says, "Huh, I've never met a male named <my name> before." I was like, wtf?! Then later she says to someone else that I'm the go to for issues tomorrow and that "he can help out."

 

I'm terrible at correcting people when something actually happens, but I can't believe what I just did. Sent an email saying, hey, heard you refer to me as "he", but I'm actually a woman and go by "she".

 

I can't believe I sent it. This is the first time I've corrected someone in any way. I'm freaking out a bit, but I'll let y'all know how it turns out.

[daveb]

7 minutes ago, butterflydreams said:

I can't believe I sent it. This is the first time I've corrected someone in any way. I'm freaking out a bit, but I'll let y'all know how it turns out.

Good for you! and good luck!

[butterflydreams]

It went great! She said she was sorry and thanks for letting her know! Woohoo!

[daveb]

3 hours ago, butterflydreams said:

It went great! She said she was sorry and thanks for letting her know! Woohoo!

Yay!  

[Kimmie.]

That is awesome to hear! 

[AwkwardAxolotl]

4 year anniversary on T today

[Andiamo]

I just had a wonderful moment of clarity in terms of my identity. In recent months, my gender has been a bit fuzzy and caused me a lot of difficulty. But today, I went out by myself to get ice cream then go to the grocery store and for the first time in a while I felt comfortably and confidently nonbinary, and was even able to think clearly about my body without worrying about setting off dysphoria or anything. It only lasted for an hour or two, but it gave me a lot of hope.

[PixleyDust✨]

I’m AFAB and settling with gender non-conforming for now, but I’m still actively questioning and trying to understand and do right by my feelings.

 

With that said, I’ve had a few things happen this week that we’re pretty cool.

 

Sunday: I went to this 100 mile marathon event with my Mom to watch her friend cross the finish line. Before he did, my Mom, me, and her friend’s family were hanging out and chatting. Then, someone in the group was talking to my Mom and gesturing at me. I asked her what he was saying, and she told me he asked her “What grade is your son in?” I guess my short hair, tank top, and binder made me look like a teenage boy. My mom corrected him, telling him I was her daughter and 25, and he just started getting so flustered. We both told him that “No, REALLY. IT’S COOL.” 😆 

 

I even leaned over and told my Mom that not only am I not offended, but that I kind of take that as a compliment. I joked that I was just that handsome. 🤣

 

Monday: My Mom and I hung out and went to dinner with the same friend and his immediate family, who we’re totally cool with. And as we’re were all talking and getting chummy, I just kept lighting up every time he called me “man”, or “dude”, even if it was just in the weirdly neutral California way. But I was feeling it in a secret, kind of “bro-ing down” kind of way. Warm fuzzies all around there.

 

Wednesday: Two things actually. One, I ACTUALLY WORKED UP THE COURAGE TO USE THE MEN’S ROOM AT WORK. TWICE. I wasn’t feeling male, but I was definitely feeling FAR from feminine and wasn’t comfortable using the Women’s at all. Plus, ever since I’ve been questioning, I’ve been wanting to try to use male facilities to see if it felt right / as identity confirmation, but I always got cold feet and steered into the Women’s. BUT NOW I’VE DONE IT. FELT SO BADASS FOR THE REST OF THE DAY I’M NOT GOING TO LIE.

 

Then when I got home, I ordered my first “official” binder from gc2b! SO EXCITED! And all while using a gender neutral name I’ve been trying out (which is a neutral, sort of casual/fun form of my middle name) while chatting with the support staff. 

 

I’ve been using a back brace for binding purposes, in order to test out the idea of binding/see if it was even right for me. But now that I know that I like doing it, I’ve bit the bullet and ordered a real one. 

 

So yeah, so many cool things happening this week, and it’s just been a really fun rollercoaster and I just really wanted to share it with you all. ✨😊✨

[Emery.]

So I dared to use the genderless bathroom in the mall. I wanted to take a piss. And I became all nervous about going to the women's bathroom that I'll get stared at. Some people already did stare at me that day because I was wearing a men's camo tshirt (and flashy trainers and a big hoodie and a backpack - yo ) and I don't ... pass? A lot of the staff didn't know how to refer to me either. I dressed like that in order to shop for men's clothes, because if you shop for men's clothes and still look like a girl, if you wear some already and it's clear it's your style, nobody questions you or gives you odd looks. Anyway... I became so nervous about the women's bathroom that I decided that it doesn't make sense to put myself in such a discomfort. I really dislike those bathroom stares. n the other hand, I clearly don't pass as a man either, so I don't feel comfortable using the men's bathroom either. So... I went to this bathroom for the disabled and mothers with babies. For what are those bathrooms if not for situations like this? I dared.

[Celyn: The Lutening]

Gender-neutral bathrooms are the best things ever and we need more.

4 minutes ago, Emery. said:

if you shop for men's clothes and still look like a girl, if you wear some already and it's clear it's your style, nobody questions you or gives you odd looks

This is true but so dumb. "You have the goods I want, I have the money to pay for them, what exactly is your problem, Mr Judgey Cashier Man?"