Celyn: The Lutening Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 6 hours ago, Rynar said: My real name is an unisex name. My mom told me which names she would have named me are all unisex so whatever name I would have gotten, it would fit me regardless of gender You jammy bug. My legal name is super feminine and doesn't even have a male version. But I would be called Alex if I had a penis - why couldn't they name me Alex anyway? I chose "Celyn" because it's a unisex Welsh name meaning song. (You may have met Kailan/Cailan etc. usually boys. Same name origin) 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Destan Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 [Deleted] 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 27 minutes ago, Rynar said: I've seen those names before. I live in a different country then my ethnicity so to native people my name sounds masculine to them I think. I remember when I graduated from elementary school, someone tried to recruit me for their middle school by visiting my house. Back then my sister answered the door so that person asked her if her little brother was home. My sister replied she didn't have a little brother and things got awkward I've had an instance where my dad was told that his son was doing something bad. Some male driver almost crashed into a car outside my house while neither of us were around. The female driver in the other car swerved around. Not sure how it happened, but it knocked out our mailbox. The male driver had parked right outside our house and didn't do anything about the situation so she thought that he lived in our house. So at some point she ringed the doorbell and my dad answered. She said that his son was a reckless driver and such. My dad said that he didn't have a son. But we did get a look around of what happened, the fallen mailbox, and the tire skid marks that were all across the road. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lonemathsytoothbrushthief Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 @nerdperson777 The reasoning for the beanie is because I have mostly long hair, on one side the sidecut is growing back and like an inch long, but on the other I have past shoulder-length hair which I refuse to let go of. So I just wanna see if I can come close to passing if I put it under the hat as best I can. At least it's reduced in volume compared to when it was that length all over my head, though. Anyway I care more about how I see myself than others see me, I don't think much about how others perceive my gender I just get dysphoric when they she/her me or use my full name, refer to me as a girl etc. I think so much about eye contact and body language etc when around strangers that other stuff doesn't really come into it, and I'm usually wearing headphones with a podcast on anyway. But I do feel really nervous and know that my hair plus coat and stuff definitely seem to ruin any attempt to pass as a guy-though I also like that it feels kind of androgynous without being more masculine than I like, given I don't often want to pass as any gender. This is such a ramble sorry, I've been around too many people and am staying at home for work today to get some energy back! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 If you want to wear a hat to see if it can hide your hair and help you pass as male it will probably help if you can find a masculine-looking hat to do it with. Probably stating the obvious. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lirpaderp Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 3 hours ago, daveb said: If you want to wear a hat to see if it can hide your hair and help you pass as male it will probably help if you can find a masculine-looking hat to do it with. Probably stating the obvious. What makes a hat masculine? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 1 hour ago, Lirpaderp said: What makes a hat masculine? I would guess a hat that a male person would probably wear, like a baseball hat. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 57 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said: I would guess a hat that a male person would probably wear, like a baseball hat. Yeah. Not something fuzzy or pink, for example. Not that guys can't wear such things, but if someone is trying to "pass" it works better if they use cues that most people will associate with the gender the person wants to pass as. Baseball caps are more often associated with guys (again, not that women can't wear them). Some kinds (styles, colors, etc.) of knit caps will also be pegged as masculine or feminine, depending on various factors. Men's are generally less colorful (black, gray, blue and such, but generally not pastels or bright colors, for example), less "frills" or ornamentation (except for things like sports/team logos and the like), usually simpler knitting patterns, and things like that. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Celyn: The Lutening Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 @Lonemathsytoothbrushthief I'm with you on the hair front. I've thought about cutting it short, but anywhere between the earlobes and shoulders is the only length I find comfortable. That could be construed as feminine, but my face and presentation brings it back to androgynous. If I need to, I put it in a "man bun". 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 On 3/21/2018 at 7:46 PM, AwkwardAxolotl said: It surprises me how much a little change can affect passing. For me, hats work okay, but earrings are really what get me. They make my face look super feminine, which is a shame, because I kind of like them. I think I could still get away with wearing earrings, but only with more than a week's worth of stubble, and even then at first glance people would probably still see me as female. I feel you on the earrings. My piercings had just about grown in, so I've been wearing some studs in private to keep them from completely sealing. (I have trouble letting go.) I've been growing my facial hair out a bit because I want ~2 months of growth for when I hit my 2 years on T, so that diminishes the feminizing effects a bit. That said, I think the earrings make my long eyelashes a bit more noticeable, so maybe that's the most feminine feature I could pick out on my face at this point? (I like my long lashes too, so I don't even mind that.) I think I look just fine in earrings, but I'd be a bit self-conscious about wearing them in public, especially because I have three sets of lobe piercings. (As for hats, I just look terrible in them, regardless of what gender I'm read as. ) That said, I've been a little bit more okay with these little bits of femininity/feminine expression. Moreso in private than in public, but even in public, it's not like I completely shy away from these things. I'm way less bothered about getting misgendered the rare situations it does happen, and while I'm still a bit self conscious, I'm slowly getting less concerned about people potentially reading me as gay. (It's more accurate than straight, after all.) Who knows? Maybe I'll start experimenting with what I wear publicly too sooner or later. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
:)(: Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 3 hours ago, daveb said: Baseball caps are more often associated with guys (again, not that women can't wear them). No you legit can’t wear those. If a feminine person does the baseball cap will disappear beside it is impossible for them to co-exist on the feminine gender expression plane. ive lost many a good hat that way 🧢 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 3 minutes ago, :)(: said: No you legit can’t wear those. If a feminine person does the baseball cap will disappear beside it is impossible for them to co-exist on the feminine gender expression plane. ive lost many a good hat that way 🧢 I have one covered in lace. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
:)(: Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 Just now, daveb said: I have one covered in lace. Smart ! Lace is a powerful anchor that is toxic to machismo! 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PixleyDust✨ Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 On 3/20/2018 at 9:51 PM, SkyWorld said: Heh! Nah. It was more like peer pressure. :'D It was during my college's GSA meeting and the topic came up and I said I've never been to the men's bathroom and was too nervous to do so. They told me to just do it, "go now!" The only thing that made me feel better was that it was at a time where nobody is really out and about so there was no one in there both times. If there were anyone, I'd be even more nervous. But I shouldn't make myself suspicious! I hear a lot about how guys generally don't care, but still. Still badass to me. 😊 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 I don't know what it is, but I just feel much better when I have a lot of muscle. Of course, it won't grow endlessly, because I'm female, but my mind seems more composed when I excersice and maintain a large muscle mass. Probably it's the transgender brain syndrome, because I've read somewhere that excesice and muscles produce T. On a literal level it feels good and correct too. I like those wiry limbs. I like how hard my body is. My fitness also improved so much recently that I outdo my dad and guys in the dojo and don't get tired. I'm a machine! I'm not sure how much my abrormal hormones have to do with it... I love it when my body so readily listens to me and can do anything I want. I love it when things are so light (not heavy). I love it when I can run to the fifth floor with a heavy backpack and only get a bit accelerated heartbeat. I was so happy yesterday when I read something in a criminal story that something was small like of a woman or a child... I'm happy I'm not in this size category too And I'm happy I'm not a cute little thing but a tall woman with a mature look. I'm happy that I look mature, simply. but you know? The muscles produce heat on their own I swear! They are warm all the time! I like that too I was in desparate need of a heater Or maybe this is the circulatory system working better. But men's clothes are warmer too, I have to say. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie. Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 @Emery. Thats great for you is it not proven that exercise is a key to happiness. I am glad that you like your body. I personally dont really want to add more muscle just get rid of some fat, especially the belly, and to get a more feminine waist. ( i do get that, that is almost impossible without hormones or operation) 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lonemathsytoothbrushthief Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 8 hours ago, Celyn said: @Lonemathsytoothbrushthief I'm with you on the hair front. I've thought about cutting it short, but anywhere between the earlobes and shoulders is the only length I find comfortable. That could be construed as feminine, but my face and presentation brings it back to androgynous. If I need to, I put it in a "man bun". I had my hair kept at shoulder length pretty much throughout teenage years and it was pretty much mum deciding things which I didn't like, but it was just kind of perceived as "cute" by them. I'm never ever going back to that if I can help it, though obviously I'd have to if I cut it short and grew it out later. Anyway I don't think my face is that feminine, I haven't really got any pronounced features in that regard and my chin's not pointed, but my jaw line's also kinda weak. I don't think it's impossible for me to pass as a guy with just my hair under a beanie and such. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Celyn: The Lutening Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 @Lonemathsytoothbrushthief ah that's probably where we differ, my jawline is ~way~ strong for a female. @Emery. I feel way better when I'm more muscular too, but I don't know how much is "trans brain" and how much just the good feeling of being healthy and able to do stuff. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 11 hours ago, Emery. said: I don't know what it is, but I just feel much better when I have a lot of muscle. Of course, it won't grow endlessly, because I'm female, but my mind seems more composed when I excersice and maintain a large muscle mass. Probably it's the transgender brain syndrome, because I've read somewhere that excesice and muscles produce T. On a literal level it feels good and correct too. I like those wiry limbs. I like how hard my body is. My fitness also improved so much recently that I outdo my dad and guys in the dojo and don't get tired. I'm a machine! I'm not sure how much my abrormal hormones have to do with it... I love it when my body so readily listens to me and can do anything I want. I love it when things are so light (not heavy). I love it when I can run to the fifth floor with a heavy backpack and only get a bit accelerated heartbeat. I was so happy yesterday when I read something in a criminal story that something was small like of a woman or a child... I'm happy I'm not in this size category too And I'm happy I'm not a cute little thing but a tall woman with a mature look. I'm happy that I look mature, simply. but you know? The muscles produce heat on their own I swear! They are warm all the time! I like that too I was in desparate need of a heater Or maybe this is the circulatory system working better. But men's clothes are warmer too, I have to say. I wanted to make an excuse to talk about something not really gender related. Although I could probably find a way to gender it if I wanted to. My legs look totally different in size from one another, right? Is it obvious which leg has been operated on? Which is my other leg, the one I've been using almost exclusively for at least 2 weeks? 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 I don't know of I mentioned, but my trans musician research got accepted for another event, (the Transgender Voices Festival,) and I've been adding more interviews to grow my project. The other day, I interviewed a vocalist I met on a top surgery Facebook group, and after the interview, I noticed something: without explicitly searching, I connected with a transmasculine aro/ace musician who seems to value platonic bonds like I do. With how much I've expressed how difficult it would be to find someone like that, especially if I went out of my way to search for a platonic partner someday, there's something refreshing about just meeting this person by what was mostly chance. (Obviously, a top surgery page is going to skew a handful of factors, but this was still a bit of a chance encounter.) It's amazing how many people you can meet by reaching out in the right spaces. 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 @nerdperson777, your legs remind me that I have to buy jeans. My old ones shrinked in laundry. They looked like yours. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lonemathsytoothbrushthief Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 Meh, gonna share a selfie. Spoiler Tbh my hair, hips and facial structure are kind of annoying me now. If I got facial changes after going on T I'd definitely still be happy with having mostly long hair tbh, because I don't feel good about short hair. It would make me look more feminine, but not even in a way which I'd like on days where I want that either way, I'm posting because I finally have clothes I like for this. And because I don't really mind if I don't pass to strangers, I'm just gonna keep the hat but not put my hair up. Long hair and being masc needs to be more of a thing. 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Zsareph Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 Me: *holds door open for someone* Them: Ah, such a gentleman. Me : 10 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 13 hours ago, Emery. said: @nerdperson777, your legs remind me that I have to buy jeans. My old ones shrinked in laundry. They looked like yours. Well, they are guy jeans. Possibly from Costco. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Celyn: The Lutening Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 Actually reconsidering my hatred of my boobs because my bikini is hella cute and I actually feel OK about showing my body to strangers in it. Weird, that isn't like me at all. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Finn. Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 9 hours ago, Zsareph said: Me: *holds door open for someone* Them: Ah, such a gentleman. Me : wow yeah, i love doing that! 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lonemathsytoothbrushthief Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 18 hours ago, Zsareph said: Me: *holds door open for someone* Them: Ah, such a gentleman. Me : I always objected to having people let me through first and insisted on holding the door for people regardless of gender. Down with chivalry, let's just be nice to each other regardless of gender but hey, it's good to know this is also a trans AFAB person thing. 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted March 26, 2018 Share Posted March 26, 2018 18 hours ago, Lonemathsytoothbrushthief said: I always objected to having people let me through first and insisted on holding the door for people regardless of gender. Down with chivalry, let's just be nice to each other regardless of gender but hey, it's good to know this is also a trans AFAB person thing. I had some weird friends when I was at school. When we went to get food, both of them would open an end of the double door and just stand there so I just walked through both doors because no one would go. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andiamo Posted March 26, 2018 Share Posted March 26, 2018 I flew back to college yesterday, and somehow my mom got me tickets in first class (don't ask me how, this has never happened before). Apparently in first class they are very, very polite to you. And they had our names. Despite my very feminine legal first name, I was addressed as "Mr. (last name)." Later on, the flight attendant addressed me and the person next to me as "gentlemen." Also, when I was going through the body scan thing, the person scanning me actually leaned into the scanner and whispered to me "excuse me, but are you male or female?" before scanning me. So apparently airports are very gender-affirming for me? 11 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wayfarer Posted March 27, 2018 Share Posted March 27, 2018 I started dancing in September, I do Lindy Hop, a form of swing dancing. It's a lot looser in lead/follow roles than many other dances, so I usually lead. I can follow too, and will frequently switch around, but it's really nice not to always have to have the 'female' role. I had a really good day genderwise on Saturday. We did an aerials workshop in the afternoon (so leads lifting their follows), and led that, which was amazing. Took a lot of strength though, but there wasn't a single comment that I 'shouldn't do that' or anything, which is really nice. Especially because in cases like that I really don't pass for anything else than female. I'm really happy the community is so open to stuff like that. For the party that evening (theme: 'feathers and bow ties') I really dressed up, but with a dress shirt, waistcoat, bow tie, flat cap, it was brilliant! I also really loved how because I dressed like that, people were less likely to assume that I follow. I was extremely self-conscious, especially at the beginning, but felt really good about it overall. Oh, and my bow tie was a rainbow one, because why not I'm really looking forward to the photographs that were made, it'd be nice to have a picture of myself like that 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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