a gender positive thread

[Finn.]

Sometimes I don't think about my gender at all, might even consider being agender, but then suddenly, usually in relation to others, I call myself a guy in my head. And there has been the feeling of being both agender and a guy a couple of times recently. It's interesting, kinda funny. It's lika this "huh" moment, followed by laughing about it. I'm fine with it, and glad that I am at the place that no matter my gender I feel at peace with it.

 

Plus my skin/acne is getting better so now I wear very little makeup which I like.

[SkyWorld]

I was concerned that I won’t be able to sing anymore starting T, but thought it was worth the sacrifice, even though I loved to sing. Besides, there were plenty of trans guys who still sing and very well. So I never stopped singing and only sang even more. If anything, I think I sound better singing! I’m so happy that I can enjoy my singing even more now.  

[Mezzo Forte]

8 minutes ago, SkyWorld said:

I was concerned that I won’t be able to sing anymore starting T, but thought it was worth the sacrifice, even though I loved to sing. Besides, there were plenty of trans guys who still sing and very well. So I never stopped singing and only sang even more. If anything, I think I sound better singing! I’m so happy that I can enjoy my singing even more now.  

If anything, singing through transition is one of the best ways to keep your voice going. The only reason why people mention that is because of situations where some trans guys starting at too big of a dose, and that screwed up the development of their vocal folds. Don't think that's terribly common nowadays. You definitely have to relearn your vocal instrument though. Definitely a fun feeling to be a trained musician and struggle to match a pitch because you don't know where it sits in your throat anymore.

[Guest]

3 hours ago, SkyWorld said:

I was concerned that I won’t be able to sing anymore starting T, but thought it was worth the sacrifice, even though I loved to sing. Besides, there were plenty of trans guys who still sing and very well. So I never stopped singing and only sang even more. If anything, I think I sound better singing! I’m so happy that I can enjoy my singing even more now.  

One of my favorite bands has a trans male singer as a lead.

 

Here's a song from them

 

 

Also if you are willing to listen to the new version of Rocky Horror Picture Show (the one that most of us like to forget happened except the Laverne Cox part) well...Laverne Cox did pretty well too.

 

Conclusion: Trans people can be great singers  

[SkyWorld]

3 hours ago, Mezzo Forte said:

If anything, singing through transition is one of the best ways to keep your voice going. The only reason why people mention that is because of situations where some trans guys starting at too big of a dose, and that screwed up the development of their vocal folds. Don't think that's terribly common nowadays. You definitely have to relearn your vocal instrument though. Definitely a fun feeling to be a trained musician and struggle to match a pitch because you don't know where it sits in your throat anymore.

It’s funny how before T, my singing voice never sounded even close to my speaking voice. Someone could hear a recording or not see me singing in another room and not recognize me until they see for their own eyes. I liked singing, even though it did made me feel a little dysphoric because of how high pitched it was, but still sounded good, It was kind of conflicting. I also struggled sounding more mature singing because it would also sound childish, but now I think I only sound smoother and it’s fun hitting those lower notes and practicing my new range as I go. I think that’s another reason going low dose is helpful for my vocal chords to develop at a good pace, though when I see my doctor again, I will be asking if I’m able to do weekly shots and get my emotions in order. XD

 

58 minutes ago, Kisa the Kit Kat said:

One of my favorite bands has a trans male singer as a lead.

 

Here's a song from them

 

 

Also if you are willing to listen to the new version of Rocky Horror Picture Show (the one that most of us like to forget happened except the Laverne Cox part) well...Laverne Cox did pretty well too.

 

Conclusion: Trans people can be great singers  

Ooh! That song’s really catchy! I’m wondering if I can download it from Apple Music. 

[Mezzo Forte]

54 minutes ago, Kisa the Kit Kat said:

One of my favorite bands has a trans male singer as a lead.

 

Here's a song from them

Spoiler

 

 

Also if you are willing to listen to the new version of Rocky Horror Picture Show (the one that most of us like to forget happened except the Laverne Cox part) well...Laverne Cox did pretty well too.

 

Conclusion: Trans people can be great singers  

Oh hey, I thought I recognized that group. One of the trans musicians I befriended is actually friends with Lucas Silveira; said he's a really cool guy and wanted to connect me with him because of my trans musician research. Seems like Silveira's got some good music too.

 

4 minutes ago, SkyWorld said:

It’s funny how before T, my singing voice never sounded even close to my speaking voice. Someone could hear a recording or not see me singing in another room and not recognize me until they see for their own eyes. I liked singing, even though it did made me feel a little dysphoric because of how high pitched it was, but still sounded good, It was kind of conflicting. I also struggled sounding more mature singing because it would also sound childish, but now I think I only sound smoother and it’s fun hitting those lower notes and practicing my new range as I go. I think that’s another reason going low dose ks helpful for my vocal chords to develop at a good pace, though when I see my doctor again, I will be asking if I’m able to do weekly shots and get my emotions in order. XD

I feel you on the singing voice, though I admittedly avoided singing for the most part apart from what I had to do in my music studies with sightsinging and that one piece I played. When I did sing that one piece pre-T, I forced my range quite low (think I got down to F3 actually), even if that doesn't sound too low compared to my current range. I now I seem to be able to pretty consistently hit E2 when casually singing to recordings and I sometimes even hit D2 or even Db2 with proper warmup. ( Bass tones are fun.) I've been told that my voice sounds smoother now too. Even had someone call it sexy.

 

Weekly shots sound like a good idea if you're experiencing swings. Gonna be honest, I really want to try slow-release testosterone pellets. I just want to know if they'd be an option for me should I need to do extended ethnographic fieldwork in places that aren't practical for me to store or inject testosterone. They can apparently last as long as 6 months for some people, and that sounds quite nice. That said, I've been (legally) stockpiling injectable testosterone like it's my damn job, so I don't know if it's reasonable to explore that option when I already have over a year's worth of the stuff in my possession that will eventually expire.

[nerdperson777]

On 2/24/2018 at 4:06 PM, Finn. said:

Sometimes I don't think about my gender at all, might even consider being agender, but then suddenly, usually in relation to others, I call myself a guy in my head. And there has been the feeling of being both agender and a guy a couple of times recently. It's interesting, kinda funny. It's lika this "huh" moment, followed by laughing about it. I'm fine with it, and glad that I am at the place that no matter my gender I feel at peace with it.

 

Plus my skin/acne is getting better so now I wear very little makeup which I like.

Sometimes I'm not sure in my head what pronoun to call myself.  So I guess I just say he/they to be simple.  When I do say something about myself, neither feels fully right but it doesn't bother me.  I have no idea what's going on.  Same as I was before, I would notice the pronoun people would call me and that's it.

 

On 2/24/2018 at 4:29 PM, Mezzo Forte said:

If anything, singing through transition is one of the best ways to keep your voice going. The only reason why people mention that is because of situations where some trans guys starting at too big of a dose, and that screwed up the development of their vocal folds. Don't think that's terribly common nowadays. You definitely have to relearn your vocal instrument though. Definitely a fun feeling to be a trained musician and struggle to match a pitch because you don't know where it sits in your throat anymore.

I definitely don't know where in my throat my pitch is a lot of the time.  I was planning to do a voice video thing but I haven't had time to.  I still have my wide range.  Strangely I'm having the most fun singing high pitched.  And as with me still not knowing what my "real" voice is, no matter what range I'm doing, it feels natural, yet unnatural at the same time.  It's weird.

[999papercranes]

I noticed in the mirror today that I have some tiny, almost completely unnoticeable mustache hairs  

It makes me feel strangely affirmed.

[:)(:]

4 minutes ago, 999papercranes said:

I noticed in the mirror today that I have some tiny, almost completely unnoticeable mustache hairs  

It makes me feel strangely affirmed.

I read something saying that you could use mascara and the brush to darken them if you want...

[999papercranes]

3 minutes ago, :)(: said:

I read something saying that you could use mascara and the brush to darken them if you want...

Maybe when I’m out of the closet  Otherwise that might appear a little strange if I suddenly sprouted a mustache 

[ChillaKilla]

I saw Black Panther on Saturday night (10/10) and one of the previews was an ad for Coke featuring a nonbinary person! Apparently it aired during the Super Bowl too  

 

[Kimmie.]

Got a package today. 

I guess I am one step closer to finding my style  i dont in any shape or form pass but still 

 

 

 



 

 



 



 

And the butt shot i just have to i am somewhat proud of it even if it is slightly padded. 


 

 

[arobydesign]

Looking good Kimmie!

[butterflydreams]

@Kimmie. I dig that style. You're not as far from passing as you think you might be. Keep going!

[Mezzo Forte]

@Kimmie. you've got a good look going! Love the shoes!

[Mezzo Forte]

Also, apparently there's a bit more visibility out there for transgender opera singers as of late

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/features/holden-madagame-glyndebourne-academy-transgender-opera-a8090386.html

http://www.classicfm.com/music-news/first-transgender-woman-us-opera/

[nerdperson777]

38 minutes ago, Mezzo Forte said:

Also, apparently there's a bit more visibility out there for transgender opera singers as of late

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/features/holden-madagame-glyndebourne-academy-transgender-opera-a8090386.html

http://www.classicfm.com/music-news/first-transgender-woman-us-opera/

Omg, I also wanted to be Cherubino after I watched a live play of Marriage of Figaro.  I remembered that I was disappointed that he was played by a (large chested) woman.  I wonder if I can do it now...well after work.

[Mezzo Forte]

3 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said:

Omg, I also wanted to be Cherubino after I watched a live play of Marriage of Figaro.  I remembered that I was disappointed that he was played by a (large chested) woman.  I wonder if I can do it now...well after work.

I couldn't help but think of Cherubino's part as a wonderful opportunity for pre-T trans men in particular to explore a masculine role. I wanted to bad to comment about that when I was talking about Marriage of Figaro in my Music Apprec course, but that topic came up the same day as my students started with their not-so-lovely commentary about trans people, so I was in no mood to reignite that discussion.

[nerdperson777]

1 minute ago, Mezzo Forte said:

I couldn't help but think of Cherubino's part as a wonderful opportunity for pre-T trans men in particular to explore a masculine role. I wanted to bad to comment about that when I was talking about Marriage of Figaro in my Music Apprec course, but that topic came up the same day as my students started with their not-so-lovely commentary about trans people, so I was in no mood to reignite that discussion.

Perhaps I have a tenor's range.  That's something I could check later.  But what I've learned about myself now is that I can imitate the tune of what I'm listening to pretty decently.  If I were to sing with only the instrumental, I tend to be stuck, unless I know the song that well.

[Mezzo Forte]

2 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said:

Perhaps I have a tenor's range.  That's something I could check later.  But what I've learned about myself now is that I can imitate the tune of what I'm listening to pretty decently.  If I were to sing with only the instrumental, I tend to be stuck, unless I know the song that well.

Cherubino is actually a soprano role, so it might be a touch out of your range. Still, tenors rule the world, so you have quite a few options if you ever wanted to sing in just about any musical style!

[nerdperson777]

2 minutes ago, Mezzo Forte said:

Cherubino is actually a soprano role, so it might be a touch out of your range. Still, tenors rule the world, so you have quite a few options if you ever wanted to sing in just about any musical style!

My pre-T voice could reach soprano levels.  I still might be able to do "average" girl pitch, whatever that means.  I'll see if I can sing something when I'm home.  But my Italian could be really off, since my only knowledge of the language is music theory.

[Kimmie.]

11 hours ago, cluebat said:

Looking good Kimmie!

 

8 hours ago, butterflydreams said:

@Kimmie. I dig that style. You're not as far from passing as you think you might be. Keep going!

 

7 hours ago, Mezzo Forte said:

@Kimmie. you've got a good look going! Love the shoes!

Thank you all , you are so sweet

[soda59]

On 2/24/2018 at 7:18 PM, SkyWorld said:

I was concerned that I won’t be able to sing anymore starting T, but thought it was worth the sacrifice, even though I loved to sing. Besides, there were plenty of trans guys who still sing and very well. So I never stopped singing and only sang even more. If anything, I think I sound better singing! I’m so happy that I can enjoy my singing even more now.  

I am glad you are able to still sing . That's great!

On 2/24/2018 at 10:28 PM, Kisa the Kit Kat said:

One of my favorite bands has a trans male singer as a lead.

 

Here's a song from them

 

 

Also if you are willing to listen to the new version of Rocky Horror Picture Show (the one that most of us like to forget happened except the Laverne Cox part) well...Laverne Cox did pretty well too.

 

Conclusion: Trans people can be great singers  

swoonnnnnn That voiceeee

[Mezzo Forte]

Pretty sure this is going to sound nigh-incomprehensible to people without much background in Yoruba/Yoruba-derived religions, so my apologies to basically everyone reading this

 

I resumed my congas/Afro-Cuban percussion lessons after a long hiatus, and my teacher and I had some interesting conversation, talking about a mix of LGBT stuff and Santería/Yoruba topics. I remember one of my professors commenting about there being openly gay Candomblé practitioners (Yoruba-derived religion from Brazil, very similar to Santería,) but it was really cool hearing my conga teacher implying that Yoruba beliefs are very compatible with trans identity. I knew that the Orisha (deity) Elegguá is simultaneously male and female, (if I recall correctly, is also able to shift between male and female freely), but I didn't know that Changó is also known to do the same, which is extra cool to me, because Changó is the god of drums (among other things, like lightning and fire ). (Wonder why I didn't think anything of the fact that Changó, a typically male-presenting Orisha, has the female Santa Barbara as their analogous Catholic saint.) Really makes me wonder if there are openly trans Santería practitioners out there. I'd love to hear that perspective. (I would actually really like to know the policies about trans people playing the Batá drums during the Toque de Santo, considering that it's generally considered a male-exclusive tradition.)

 

Who knows? Maybe I'll have some fun ways to mix my trans research with my love of music from places like Cuba and Brazil. Perhaps it could grow into a form of intersectional advocacy someday.

[nerdperson777]

@Mezzo Forte I tried on my commute home and I can hit those pitches, but my voice wasn't fully controllable at the time (probably lack of water), so I have random instances where my voice was louder than a couple seconds before without my intention.  Does that mean I can still sing a soprano?  That would be kind of amazing to me.

[Mezzo Forte]

6 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

@Mezzo Forte I tried on my commute home and I can hit those pitches, but my voice wasn't fully controllable at the time (probably lack of water), so I have random instances where my voice was louder than a couple seconds before without my intention.  Does that mean I can still sing a soprano?  That would be kind of amazing to me.

Some people have enough range to sing parts outside of their primary voice type, so perhaps it's possible  

 

(That said, if you're a tenor now, there's a chance that you're singing the parts an octave down. I know that I took forever to realize that I was singing an octave lower than I thought earlier in my voice drop. If you are hitting soprano notes, especially without falsetto, then hot damn do you have a range!)

[SkyWorld]

It’s kind of funny trying to relearn how to hit the same higher notes that used to be with ease. I used to be as soprano as one could be, whistle notes and everything, and was concerned when I couldn’t simply hit high notes that cismen could sing. Until I kept practicing and trying a different way to sing it rather than the way I used to. 

[Mezzo Forte]

2 hours ago, SkyWorld said:

It’s kind of funny trying to relearn how to hit the same higher notes that used to be with ease. I used to be as soprano as one could be, whistle notes and everything, and was concerned when I couldn’t simply hit high notes that cismen could sing. Until I kept practicing and trying a different way to sing it rather than the way I used to. 

Oh man, I have a friend who can get those whistle tones, so I can hear that sound echoing in the back of my head now.  I'm trying what I can to actually train my voice a bit more. I never really sang for leisure pre-T, and now I do it all the time. 

 

Speaking of singing, I've taken to singing along with my shot songs as of late, and today happens to be my shot day!

 

Here's my latest shot song  

Spoiler

 

 

Updated Playlist:

Spoiler

7/26
A Moment of Silence - Streetlight Manifesto
 
8/9
Toccata and Divertimento - Ney Rosauro
 
8/23
Receiving End of it All - Streetlight Manifesto
 
9/6
Shepherd of Fire - Avenged Sevenfold
 
9/20
Bebete, Vãobora - Jorge Ben
 
10/4
Resurrected Power (Shadow of the Colossus) - Ko Otani
 
10/18
Burn My Dread (Persona 3) - Kawamura Yumi
 
11/1
Motumbá - Timbalada
 
11/15
My Shot (Hamilton) - Lin-Manuel Miranda
 
12/5
Hunting Song - Tom Lehrer
 
12/20
Oh Berimbau! - Olodum
 
1/3
Alumina - Nightmare
 
1/18
Believer - Imagine Dragons
 
1/31
I'll Make a Man Out of You - Mulan

 

2/14
Would You Be Impressed? - Streetlight Manifesto

 

2/28
Setting Sail, Coming Home (Bastion) - Darren Korb

 

[nerdperson777]

8 hours ago, Mezzo Forte said:

Some people have enough range to sing parts outside of their primary voice type, so perhaps it's possible  

 

(That said, if you're a tenor now, there's a chance that you're singing the parts an octave down. I know that I took forever to realize that I was singing an octave lower than I thought earlier in my voice drop. If you are hitting soprano notes, especially without falsetto, then hot damn do you have a range!)

I've let it known when I was pre-T that I had a big range.  I've linked it in the voice thread before.  I guess fortunate genetics for my weird gender.  I've read articles that people can actually have a bigger range on T if trained so maybe I got that to add to my already large range.  It might be falsetto, I have to check.  I haven't recorded myself to be able to tell what it is.  I have made recordings of myself since starting T but not shared with anyone, or listened to myself.  I'll see in a moment.

[Mezzo Forte]

My growing connections for my trans research just gets dizzying at times! I knew of a professor at my alma mater who specializes in vocal health, and while I was passing by, I saw her in her office, so I decided to just take the leap and see what she knew about trans vocalists. She was more knowledgeable than I honestly could have ever expected and pointed me to a ton of sources where this research is actually getting published. She herself is an editor for a journal of voice research and told me that she'd keep me updated if anything that might interest me pops up too.

 

In the same day, I find myself connecting with a few more trans musicians online, and one of them asked if they could put me in contact with their teacher, who is a fellow trans man music scholar. I've been nerding out with him, and we might have a phone chat in the near future to talk research stuff.

 

I don't know how in the span of like a month, I've basically built up the foundation for several major research projects and a potential dissertation. I'm not even a student at the moment, but there's no silencing my inner scholar.