a gender positive thread

[Starbogen]

3 hours ago, ChillaKilla said:

I love being able to wear makeup but not get read as female  eyeliner, eyebrows, and even lipstick combined with my (admittedly somewhat lacking but visible nonetheless) facial hair and tenor pushing baritone sure send people into a tailspin!

I want to try this one day but sans lipstick. 

Maybe I'll try one of those loose and flowy black skirts too, with black leggings and boots under. I've seen a few guys wearing that kind of look and it looks really cool.

[SkyWorld]

So it's been 4 weeks on T and I've made a couple voice recordings the first day and today to do a comparison. I think I hear a difference, but it's subtle? It's kind of hard because I tried being more natural with it rather than seeming so forced or placebo or whatever. 

 

Spoiler

Day 1: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1642K01mLV3dDuUVzRURK5wPIAJQrWSj8/view?usp=sharing

1 Month: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1KZfdv0_uoZe0jL0kKl5VZ-7R7RTPGr7P/view?usp=sharing

 

Not sure if it's just me? I mean, it is a lower dose, so *shrugs*

[daveb]

I can definitely hear a difference - at this point the later voice sounds more adult (the earlier could pass for a youngish boy). 

[SkyWorld]

19 minutes ago, daveb said:

I can definitely hear a difference - at this point the later voice sounds more adult (the earlier could pass for a youngish boy). 

Glad it's not just me, thanks!  And yeah, I've kind of always had a childish voice, even before I'd try to train my voice to speak more from the chest than the head.

[Tortuga]

I think I'm making some headway on my voice training, in no small part due to the fact that I can replicate voice tone, accent, pitch, and other voice stuff that I hear reasonably well. 

[nerdperson777]

5 minutes ago, Alexandrite Alicorn said:

I think I'm making some headway on my voice training, in no small part due to the fact that I can replicate voice tone, accent, pitch, and other voice stuff that I hear reasonably well. 

I was able to do all that except accent until my voice started dropping.  I had just about full control of it all.  Now it's not so good in control.  I wasn't allowed to joke much growing up so I seriously can't do accents.  I just sound like someone who came from China when I'm nervous.

 

I'm kind of wondering if a theory I have could be true.  A trans girl pre-transition probably wants to be more feminine.  A stereotypical gay man is also feminine.  If a trans girl is unable to transition before a testosterone puberty, is there a tendency to sound like a gay man?  I only have two friends who sound this way so I would need more experiences to tell me if this can be true.

[Tortuga]

I think that a lot of people think that I sound like a gay man. I disagree, but, whatevs. 

[nerdperson777]

47 minutes ago, Alexandrite Alicorn said:

I think that a lot of people think that I sound like a gay man. I disagree, but, whatevs. 

I used to think that I would do it just to pass as cis when I'm around relatives.  I also wanted to sound gay.  I think I may have to talk like it regularly because I need other people to hear me.  I'm unable to talk in my girl voice, which I still have, to people unless I'm super super comfortable.  My low voice from trying to pass pre-T is now too low so people tend to hear more grumbling instead and less words.  It's kind of weird needing to find a way to talk higher again.

[Lonemathsytoothbrushthief]

I.....think I'm gonna buy a packer? Feeling a lot like experimenting right now, especially since half the reason I also worry about whether I'd go for HRT is because I'm not sure just how much I want to change. The only way I'll figure this out is by trying things out I guess xD

 

Edit: changed my mind, I can just do it DIY. Save money

[Lonemathsytoothbrushthief]

@Alexandrite Alicorn To me it sounds more like people who can tell you want to be perceived as more feminine are turning that into being a gay man in their heads, simply because the different aspects of transitioning which you're trying out with voice training are unfamiliar to them. I mean it's silly anyway, stereotypes of LGBT+ people are conflated all the time in the minds of people who don't think about these things so I wouldn't place any bets on whether they could even differentiate between gay male voices and women or more feminine peoples' voices in general, if they were just given recordings without context. Either way, I hope your voice training goes well for you!

[SkyWorld]

I watched a video on YouTube; Domics (some of you might if heard of him) made a video called “Alumni Sticker”. Sometime in his video he said “his, her, or their” and it just made me so happy he said “their”. Similar to how Thomas Sanders would always say “take it easy, guys, gals, and non-binary pals”.  Small things like that.

[butterflydreams]

I’m not sure if this is a positive moment or not, but I had a dream that I was pregnant. The weird part was I couldn’t remember how it happened. I kept thinking, “who did I have sex with...and how?” I remember feeling really scared because I couldn’t remember who it was with, and because I realized the gravity of what had happened. What an odd dream. I was thinking about kids yesterday and talking to someone about them. That’s probably what did it. I honestly hate that I can’t get pregnant. 

[ChillaKilla]

Backhandedly positive, but I always lol when a transphobe takes a brief glance at my Instagram or FB profile picture and calls me a “mentally ill man in makeup” or something  “You’ll never be a woman!” Exactly! Thanks for understanding   

[Lonemathsytoothbrushthief]

1 minute ago, ChillaKilla said:

Backhandedly positive, but I always lol when a transphobe takes a brief glance at my Instagram or FB profile picture and calls me a “mentally ill man in makeup” or something  “You’ll never be a woman!” Exactly! Thanks for understanding   

Maybe they'll even vent so long that you'll "never be a woman" that you distract them from trans femmes too it's so weird when they're actually correct and don't realise they can't hurt you.

[Kimmie.]

2 hours ago, ChillaKilla said:

Backhandedly positive, but I always lol when a transphobe takes a brief glance at my Instagram or FB profile picture and calls me a “mentally ill man in makeup” or something  “You’ll never be a woman!” Exactly! Thanks for understanding   

That is probably the definition of a failed insult. 

[butterflydreams]

3 hours ago, ChillaKilla said:

Backhandedly positive, but I always lol when a transphobe takes a brief glance at my Instagram or FB profile picture and calls me a “mentally ill man in makeup” or something  “You’ll never be a woman!” Exactly! Thanks for understanding   

Something about this makes me uncomfortable...but I’m not sure why  

[ChillaKilla]

55 minutes ago, butterflydreams said:

Something about this makes me uncomfortable...but I’m not sure why  

I’m not saying it’s okay, it’s more of how blatantly limited their idea of trans people is. They’re so ignorant they can’t perceive a trans person as anything but AMAB and obviously masculine. Believe me, I think the stereotype is shitty and transmisogynistic. It’s their stupidity that’s laughable. I definitely could have worded it better.

[butterflydreams]

22 minutes ago, ChillaKilla said:

I’m not saying it’s okay, it’s more of how blatantly limited their idea of trans people is. They’re so ignorant they can’t perceive a trans person as anything but AMAB and obviously masculine. Believe me, I think the stereotype is shitty and transmisogynistic. It’s their stupidity that’s laughable. I definitely could have worded it better.

I guess. You probably worded it fine, it’s just my own thinking an insecurities getting in the way. I think maybe I’m reflecting on my own experiences...where passing as female feels extremely precarious. Having someone assume I was a woman trying to be a guy feels like something I’d never experience. I don’t feel like I have the flexibility or space to explore or express myself in different ways. If I don’t perform femininity perfectly, I’m screwed. The joys of being AMAB  

[SkyWorld]

So there’s a local trans group and they have different support meetups for those who are transmasculine, transfeminine, and those who are more nonbinary. I just came from the transmasculine support called “The Locker Room” and I didn’t know anybody and I was painfully socially awkward. But eventually I was able to get myself to talk and even after the meetup was officially over, some have stayed a little longer to chat. I had a chance to talk to some people anyway and that was really nice.

 

What I found was hilarious is how not longer ago, I saw a video on YouTube and the youtuber mentioned that testosterone had a certain smell, and if there was a room full of guys, you could smell the testosterone. He was not lying! As soon as I walked in, there was so much testosterone.  There were surprisingly a lot of people there (most of them identify as a guy, some nonbinary, and a few self identifying women with a masculine expression). I had a lot of fun and I think it’s a good way to get resources, ask questions, and make friends.  

[999papercranes]

I just donated most of my remaining feminine clothing  It felt really good. I just needed that today.

[butterflydreams]

40 minutes ago, 999papercranes said:

I just donated most of my remaining feminine clothing  It felt really good. I just needed that today.

How do people do this? I still keep most of my guy clothes. I guess maybe it's a safety blanket or something. 

[SkyWorld]

I kept my old clothes for years and never worn them. I couldn’t fit them anymore and they were never my style (even before coming to terms that I’m a trans guy). It felt good to give it to people who actually need them. Seriously, there were so much clothes, it was 4 full boxes worth. :/

[nerdperson777]

1 hour ago, butterflydreams said:

How do people do this? I still keep most of my guy clothes. I guess maybe it's a safety blanket or something. 

I'd just consider it an AGAB difference.  Even in terms of hormones, it's easier to embrace masculinity than trying to get rid of it.  Then in the social aspect, it's more acceptable for an AFAB person to be masculine than an AMAB person to be feminine.  Hopefully in the future, people would stop caring.  (I'm feeling self-conscious, hoping that I didn't say something wrong here, so tell me if I did.)

 

52 minutes ago, SkyWorld said:

I kept my old clothes for years and never worn them. I couldn’t fit them anymore and they were never my style (even before coming to terms that I’m a trans guy). It felt good to give it to people who actually need them. Seriously, there were so much clothes, it was 4 full boxes worth. :/

My mom does that.  She keeps my old clothes for sentimental value.  Then on the off-chance I become famous, they can be worth something.  My family hoards so badly.  But I think that if she can't accept me for who I am, she has no right to be basking in the glory if I do become famous.  All the closets in the house belong to my mom.  The one behind me right now has my clothes from when I was like 7.  No one will wear them.  They will just sit in the closet until the end of time, or whenever someone actually wants to clean up the mess that is our house.

 

On a side note, I formally told my dad my pronouns today.  He said that he probably won't happen right away.  I guess that's still something.  I still find it really odd that of my parents, my dad is the more accepting one, maybe because he always wanted a son.  My dad's side is traditional, always doing certain traditions every year and nothing changes.  Mom's side doesn't adhere that intensely.  Women had a lot of power on that side, since my grandmother owned a business.  I don't even know what my grandfather did besides eat like 6 meals a day.  My relatives are really laid back.  So I thought my mom would be more accepting.  But no, she's too afraid of what her friends think, despite her arguing out her conservative friends about how she accepts transgender people in bathrooms and gay marriage.

[Kimmie.]

My clothing style when I start to present as female sometime in the future will probably be similar to what I wear now. Just in womens cuts instead.

 

Those of you that have seen photos of me here, will probably see what I mean. T-shirts, hoddies, jeans (more skinny ones) and ofcource skirts. 

[Emery.]

I never thought his would happen but I wear dresses more and more. (?) I think I don't really care any more and dresses look quite good.

[butterflydreams]

I’ve done two makeup free days in a row now. Makeup is my security blanket. I also went out in public with my hair up in a ponytail. I always worry this makes me look less feminine because the hair isn’t hiding my face. But I got ma’am’d last night at the grocery store. In spite of everything I thought I was doing wrong. Maybe I do look better than I think. 

[Kimmie.]

That's great to hear Hadley. Go you 

[Guest]

14 minutes ago, butterflydreams said:

I’ve done two makeup free days in a row now. Makeup is my security blanket. I also went out in public with my hair up in a ponytail. I always worry this makes me look less feminine because the hair isn’t hiding my face. But I got ma’am’d last night at the grocery store. In spite of everything I thought I was doing wrong. Maybe I do look better than I think. 

You go girl! I’m glad to hear you had such a great experience!

[nerdperson777]

Just curious, would any of the girls here want to try that link I put in musings and rantings?  Maybe knowing what a possible look may give some euphoria.

[Lonemathsytoothbrushthief]

This is random, but you know how some people share posts with something like "Girls who _________" followed by a list of names? Well my streak of my old name never appearing in them is continuing. Just thought I'd put this here, it makes me happy in an at-least-facebook-posts-aren't-misgendering-me way which I think is funny.