butterflydreams

a gender positive thread

Recommended Posts

ChillaKilla

Talking about potentially getting simple meta with my girlfriend was just so freeing. I’m forever grateful she doesn’t think I’m some kind of freak because of how transitioning affects... things xD

Massive TMI and content warning for sexual things inbound, but relevant to above:

The first time I had my pants off in front of her I was SUPER embarrassed. She had no idea what to expect, and I was terrified she would think I was deformed or had weird parts (which I do, and am proud of, but you can’t really gauge how someone will react you know?) But after she got over her initial surprise of “Wow, that’s... kind of like a dick” and we laughed off the nervous energy, she never made a big deal out of it and is 100% okay with my body

:) 

 

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
YuriAmethyst

 I really like my voice and I also like to sing at least most days I know that will change on T  but still you can keep your higher range if you just keep practising singing at least that’s what other people told me and I hope that will be true 

 I also like the fact that I finally found A binder that works for me   Because I’m overweight that was quite a difficult thing and I struggled with it for over a year I don’t wear it often but if I like to wear it I know it’s there and it fits perfectly   

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
nerdperson777
19 minutes ago, YuriAmethyst said:

 I really like my voice and I also like to sing at least most days I know that will change on T  but still you can keep your higher range if you just keep practising singing at least that’s what other people told me and I hope that will be true 

 I also like the fact that I finally found A binder that works for me   Because I’m overweight that was quite a difficult thing and I struggled with it for over a year I don’t wear it often but if I like to wear it I know it’s there and it fits perfectly   

I've lost a little of my upper range, but I don't have professional training to know how to preserve my voice.  I can still make some sort of high pitched sounds, which I will have to live with.  I traded that really high for some lows.

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte
On January 8, 2018 at 2:03 AM, YuriAmethyst said:

 I really like my voice and I also like to sing at least most days I know that will change on T  but still you can keep your higher range if you just keep practising singing at least that’s what other people told me and I hope that will be true 

 I also like the fact that I finally found A binder that works for me   Because I’m overweight that was quite a difficult thing and I struggled with it for over a year I don’t wear it often but if I like to wear it I know it’s there and it fits perfectly   

The voice can take some time to settle. I never really explored my range pre-T, but it's plenty abysmal now and despite my music background, I doubt you would want to hear me sing. :lol: I'm a baritone now, and I kind of would like get lessons with a vocalist knowledgable in vocal health someday, but it's not really a priority.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
butterflydreams

I just looked up how to feel better about having small breasts. I’m a B cup at best and I’m probably done growing. I guess I knew it was ok because when I buy bras online, there are plenty available in my size (36B), but it helps to read lists about reasons to love being small-chested. Considering my family, especially my sister, I’m lucky to have anything. The lists made me feel better though. If it weren’t for the sensitivity issue, I could probably go braless a lot, so that’s a plus. I like how bras organize everything though, and they make me look a little bit bigger, so I tend to prefer them.

 

Overall, I think I’ve reached a good point with my chest. I don’t think I’d bother going through surgery for a cup size or two, It’s not worth it. And anyone who says I’m less of a woman isn’t worth a minute of my time.

  • Like 9

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Luftschlosseule
1 hour ago, butterflydreams said:

I just looked up how to feel better about having small breasts. I’m a B cup at best and I’m probably done growing. I guess I knew it was ok because when I buy bras online, there are plenty available in my size (36B), but it helps to read lists about reasons to love being small-chested. Considering my family, especially my sister, I’m lucky to have anything. The lists made me feel better though. If it weren’t for the sensitivity issue, I could probably go braless a lot, so that’s a plus. I like how bras organize everything though, and they make me look a little bit bigger, so I tend to prefer them.

 

Overall, I think I’ve reached a good point with my chest. I don’t think I’d bother going through surgery for a cup size or two, It’s not worth it. And anyone who says I’m less of a woman isn’t worth a minute of my time.

I've got a B cup and was considered lucky because of this by cis-female friends as I thought I was cis. The breasts are not in the way, are not so big to hurt, you can lie on your tummy and read... sometimes. I grew up with stories about women wanting bigger cups, especially for career reasons, and feeling less worth because of a smaller chest.
There are plenty of women happy with a small cup size.

Anyone who says you're less of a woman because you're wearing a small bra is less of a human, in my opinion.

  • Like 8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
butterflydreams
1 hour ago, Luftschlosseule said:

I've got a B cup and was considered lucky because of this by cis-female friends as I thought I was cis. The breasts are not in the way, are not so big to hurt, you can lie on your tummy and read... sometimes. I grew up with stories about women wanting bigger cups, especially for career reasons, and feeling less worth because of a smaller chest.
There are plenty of women happy with a small cup size.

Anyone who says you're less of a woman because you're wearing a small bra is less of a human, in my opinion.

Yeah, I was reading all the bonuses of having a smaller chest and I actually liked many of them. Sleeping on my stomach is nice. Apparently they also help make you look younger because smaller ones tend not to sag as much with age. 

 

It took a while to get to this point. I look at my chest as a signifier of my femaleness, because it’s one of the only things about me that’s absolutely correct. So to have it smaller or less noticeable really made me feel like I wasn’t female enough. But on the other hand, I grew them. It’s unbelievable. And no matter what, they are mine forever now. I love that. 

 

It was so heartening to read this reddit thread about being smaller chested. I felt so normal about myself. And when I do find myself with a guy some day, I’m sure he’ll appreciate them.

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte

So far, I've gotten compliments on my outfits every day I've taught lectures. A fellow adjunct even complimented one of my whale neckties. It's nice to have an excuse to dress up. :)

 

(On that note though, I had to stop by my office to grab something, and forgot that I switched into my casual clothes. A random student started talking to me, and I wish I could convey just how wide his eyes got when I said I was a professor. Guess the suits make a difference. :P)

  • Like 10

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
EquusMaxima

Whale neckties??? They... they make those? Are there turtle neckties too or something? I had no idea!

"You are strong with the fashion" (Come to the dark side, we have bow ties)

  • Like 8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ThatHuman

I love my weird gender - forget the binaries!- I got a witch hat and a cape - AND I WEAR THIS TO THE SHOPS SOMETIMES!

 

I like the term Cosmicgender - seems fitting XD

I think I'll keep it!

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
butterflydreams
14 hours ago, Mezzo Forte said:

(On that note though, I had to stop by my office to grab something, and forgot that I switched into my casual clothes. A random student started talking to me, and I wish I could convey just how wide his eyes got when I said I was a professor. Guess the suits make a difference. :P)

Lol, I had the inverse happen to me one time waiting at a copy machine in one of the faculty offices in college. A professor came up to me and started talking to me about something, asking if I was new. I was like, “um, I’m a student...” I guess I just dressed very professionally when I was in college.

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte
14 hours ago, Tortuga said:

Whale neckties??? They... they make those? Are there turtle neckties too or something? I had no idea!

"You are strong with the fashion" (Come to the dark side, we have bow ties)

I actually prefer/own way more bow ties than neck ties, so I'm pretty sure I lean toward the dark side of the force. :ph34r: My necktie just happened to match well with one of my pocket squares, so I wore it instead.:P

 

I actually own two bow ties and one necktie of the same base design, but with different color schemes. One bow tie is pink on blue, one is light blue on dark blue, and my necktie is orange on purple. All with this design: (Though this makes the colors look far darker/flatter than they look in real life. The silk makes the texture look much nicer.)

Spoiler

9185690_fpx.tif?op_sharpen=1&wid=400&hei

 

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Emery.

So... I put on man ripped jeans and man hoodie and this man camo tshirt and stood in front of the mirror and I was like... yeah :D I see a boy :) Context: I fail way too hard at passing. Anyway, I'm so happy. And I was struggling so hard all this time. Probably I just needed to make the masculinity much more upfront. 

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
OptimisticPessimist

A new documentary series has started here in the UK, called Transformation Street, it follow's those who are transitioning. There's a bit more about it

here. It also shows surgery too.

 

https://www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle/london-life/transformation-street-itv-transgender-documentary-a3737876.html

 

It is available to watch on ITV Player and their is some clips on youtube. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Kimmie.

I think that I should wear nail polish more open. As it is now I am only used at home. But I think that I starting to be more comfortable to. 

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
daveb
2 minutes ago, Kimmie. said:

I think that I should wear nail polish more open. As it is now I am only used at home. But I think that I starting to be more comfortable to. 

I've done it a bit here, and I think some (most?) people didn't notice, and those who did didn't say anything (the only comments I got from anyone were positive ones from my sister). Hopefully you experience will be the same if you do wear it more openly. :)

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
EquusMaxima

I wanted to wear nail polish (This lovely shade of purple) but no. My mom made me wash it off the night before school resumed... But I found a new hairstyle!

 

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
EquusMaxima

Well, I do have this plaid flannel jacket that goes with absolutely nothing else I own... That's a plus! (Maybe if I spread ketchup all over my fingernails like nail polish...) Anyways, I guess it matches my new glasses... okay that's about it, I dunno why I even posted this. Cheers!

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Kimmie.
25 minutes ago, daveb said:

I've done it a bit here, and I think some (most?) people didn't notice, and those who did didn't say anything (the only comments I got from anyone were positive ones from my sister). Hopefully you experience will be the same if you do wear it more openly. :)

I hope so too. One of my favorite youtubers is using nailpolish and he is actually the one who has inspired me. 

And how he is dealing with haters.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Finn.

I've gained some winter/christmas weight but it's not too bad for my mental health this time. Now I'm trying to slowly lose it again, like every spring. But I'm not too stressed about it, yay!

Dysphoria has been quite kind to me the last two months. I feel settled in my gender which is very nice.

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Emery.

Continuation of the story of the camo tshirt and my brand new watch. 

 

So... I came to the college today like that, in what I tried on yesterday and looked like a dude. I noticed that my tshirt attracted some attention. I don't really know if that was related or not but two of my guy friends started to fret over their hoodies being red and washed out and therefore pink :P I'm more of a man than they are, that's for sure ;) 

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Emery.

That's kinda stupid... but... I wanted to say that I simply love being a man. I love acting like one. I love all those small things. I like all this shit like ripped jeans and big hoodies and shooters and play fighting all the time and pretending to boss around. I'd never trade that for anything else. I'm so happy doing all this stuff. I don't care who thinks what about me behaving like this. 

  • Like 8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Starbogen

I got called sir while ordering food yesterday and today I was offered a men's perfume ^^

Also, I've started signing my drawings with just my name and the year and my mom said she liked my signature.

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte

One of my former students attended a Music Educators conference recently, and there was apparently a great presentation regarding accommodating transgender choir students. My friend talked with the presenter afterwards and mentioned me and my current project. She connected me with the presenter through Facebook, and the presenter connected me with a Facebook group specifically concerning making music education spaces more LGBTQA-friendly. The presenter even gave me the name of someone whose dissertation was about trans choir students, so I'm finding an entire community of people who is invested in this kind of stuff and building a better bibliography in the process. :)

 

Plus, I saw in that Facebook group that someone's doing a closely-scrutinized case study regarding testosterone and the singing voice, and I'm really excited to see what comes out of this. I like the title too: Key of T :P  http://keyoft.com/

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ThePanTranMan

I'm close to 2 months on T, I still get gendered as female in public quite a bit but I'm liking the changes to my voice so far :)   

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
nerdperson777

@ThePanTranMan Your picture is where I got my name from.  It's nice to see it.

 

My therapist wrote me a letter for top surgery!  I don't know when I can have surgery though.  I would need to have the money ready.  Also I can't hide that I'm going to such a surgery if I'm asking my dad to take me there.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte
6 hours ago, ThePanTranMan said:

I'm close to 2 months on T, I still get gendered as female in public quite a bit but I'm liking the changes to my voice so far :)   

Congrats! By that point, I was only conditionally passing; people only read me as male in the company of my parents. I have a young face, and seeming prepubescent alone made people peg me for an androgynous woman, but with my parents around, people often assumed I was a very young boy. The changes can feel so slow in the first few months, but I remember passing pretty consistently by the 5~6 month mark. Some people start passing sooner, some later, but you're definitely on your way. :)

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte

I decided to check out a local free convention, and ended up running into a faculty member from my alma mater. Turns out he has a trans son, and with permission, let the both of us know that the other is trans. I actually had a nice time casually chatting with the two of them and ended up just tagging along for a while. That faculty member definitely spoke in a very gender-affirming way to his son, and the interactions were really sweet.

 

All in the meanwhile, an old colleague messaged me about possibly being a guest speaker for his Gender and Language course he's teaching, so I might be doing even more visibility work in the near future. :)

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Starbogen

I seem to pass in some range from 14 to 18+ years old because sometimes people talk to me in a way that imo sounds like they're talking to a boy who's starting puberty, but then again when I'm out alone people aren't surprised and when I was traveling alone I was asked if it was on vacation or to study. So I feel very lucky to have the starting face and voice I have.

 

I used to worry that the way I looked only worked where I'm from and that people from other places wouldn't read me as male but some Germans in my plane totally did and that felt great.

 

My girlfriend has mentioned to me several times how tshirts make me seem a lot younger so now I'm trying to just buy more sweaters and button down shirts.

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte
12 minutes ago, Starbogen said:

My girlfriend has mentioned to me several times how tshirts make me seem a lot younger so now I'm trying to just buy more sweaters and button down shirts.

I know the feeling. Last time I had to drop by my work (a community college) to pick something up, I was dressed casually in a tshirt/jeans, and the people there started talking to me like I was a student. You should have seen their eyes when I said I was a professor. :lol: I basically wear suits for every lecture to make me actually look like a professor. Plus, it's nice to look good :)

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now