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a gender positive thread


butterflydreams

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2 hours ago, Bloc said:

just have to figure out howto prevent the silicone packs to slip down in the bra

Tell me when you know how to 😃 

 

And thanks everyone for the encouraging words it means alot.

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7 hours ago, Bloc said:

I just have to figure out howto prevent the silicone packs to slip down in the bra.

I'm not sure what you mean. Are you using breast forms or the so-called "chicken cutlet" enhancers? If it's breast forms they should stay in place if the bra is the right size and has enough coverage - another option for breast forms are pocket bras, which have built-in pockets to hold the forms. Or there are forms that are either self-adhesive or can be glued on. If it's the smaller "chicken cutlet" enhancers that's trickier. You could try some adhesive on them. There are glues and double-sided tape for adhering breast forms; maybe they could be used on the "chicken cutlets, too". Otherwise, you would need to create some friction so they don't slip. Making sure the skin and the forms are both clean and oil-free. Beyond that I haven't tried or needed anything myself, so that's where my knowledge and advice ends. Good luck!

 

I am also around 5'11" and sometimes encounter woman around my height. It's not so rare, but I still stand out. It's also not always easy to find clothes in the women's department with sleeves that are long enough (I want some tops with the kind of sleeves with the thumb holes for cooler weather), or that are long enough in the torso. I'm lucky that my feet are not too big. I can usually find enough shoes in my size range, although some stores/brands stop short of it.

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1 hour ago, daveb said:

Are you using breast forms or the so-called "chicken cutlet" enhancers?

I don't know how they are called in English, but they not breast forms, so chicken cutlet enhancers is probably the right word. They stick to the skin, so the skin pulls them down, when I try to form cleavage with my own breasts. I could try adhesive tape to stick them to the bra.

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3 hours ago, Bloc said:

I don't know how they are called in English, but they not breast forms, so chicken cutlet enhancers is probably the right word. They stick to the skin, so the skin pulls them down, when I try to form cleavage with my own breasts. I could try adhesive tape to stick them to the bra.

How about if you stick them on after you lift up your own breasts and form cleavage?

I've seen ones that actually have a plastic clasp, so you stick them on and then pull together and clasp the forms together to create cleavage.

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nerdperson777
On 11/10/2018 at 10:24 AM, daveb said:

Congratulations! I remember how nervous I was the first few times (and sometimes till am, especially since I don't go out often).

 

Yeah, it always surprises me when someone says 5' 7" is very tall for female bodied people. Maybe on the tall-ish side, but then I suppose it depends on where you are and such. There are places/cultures/races where that would be tall and others where it would barely be past average if even that. In my family it's common enough that it isn't remarkable. :) 

I'm from a short race so I'm lucky to be average American height for AFAB.

 

As for the boob thing, I saw this thing where one gets this thing, I forget the name, but it's for giving butts a rounder shape for those flat ones. So one can alter that for the chest and with makeup shading, they can look like they have cleavage without showing their own body. It seems to be a cosplay tactic but can definitely work for trans girls. The picture was on my old laptop so I would have to search that to find it. 

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11 hours ago, daveb said:

How about if you stick them on after you lift up your own breasts and form cleavage?

I've seen ones that actually have a plastic clasp, so you stick them on and then pull together and clasp the forms together to create cleavage.

@BlocI have personally tried 2 types of bras, Sportbras are more comfortable and it looks more real but i cant move without the form slides down and rotates. And pushups they work better but they are a bit more uncomforable ( which is how it should be when i hear others).

 

And to create a cleave you can use medical tape and push toghter the chest and then use make up to create the illusion of depth. That is what i have seen on youtube atleast. I use searched for " crossdressing cleaveage" or something like that.

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PixleyDust✨

AFAB Demiboy (and super femme to boot). 

 

I’m 5’5” (barely) and weigh in about 130, so I’m WAY below average all around compared to cis guys. 

 

But I’m not insecure about that, I actually kind of like being a shrimp. I derive genuine joy from being fun-size, makes me feel cute. Which as a girl always made me feel weird or objectified, or just awkward. But as a guy, it actually feels nice. Makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

 

Also noticed recently that when I was presenting as a girl, I was hyper focused on what I was wearing and deriving satisfaction from the idea of looking good to other people.

 

But presenting as more “male”, I kind of stopped doing that. I literally just found myself focusing on if I personally like it (and it isn’t even a conscious thing either) which as someone who struggled with body image issues and insecurity their whole life, it’s a weird, but really cool realization. 

 

Is...is this what a, at least, somewhat healthy sense of self-esteem feels like?

 

Cause it’s kind of awesome. 😊

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nerdperson777
18 hours ago, Pixley said:

AFAB Demiboy (and super femme to boot). 

 

I’m 5’5” (barely) and weigh in about 130, so I’m WAY below average all around compared to cis guys. 

 

But I’m not insecure about that, I actually kind of like being a shrimp. I derive genuine joy from being fun-size, makes me feel cute. Which as a girl always made me feel weird or objectified, or just awkward. But as a guy, it actually feels nice. Makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

 

Also noticed recently that when I was presenting as a girl, I was hyper focused on what I was wearing and deriving satisfaction from the idea of looking good to other people.

 

But presenting as more “male”, I kind of stopped doing that. I literally just found  myself focusing on if I personally like it, (and it isn’t even a conscious thing either) which as someone who struggled with body image issues and insecurity their whole life, it’s a weird, but really cool realization. 

 

Is...is this what a, at least, somewhat healthy sense of self-esteem feels like?

 

Cause it’s kind of awesome. 😊

T made me gain like 15 pounds so I'm shorter and I weigh more than that.  I hope to at least get to 130 and have less body fat, but all the candy I've been eating this month isn't doing that.  My old coach was only about 5' 4" so I didn't feel too bad.

 

I guess I can't be a cute shrimp type if I was bigger and taller.  I'm not even sure what it's like not seen like that.  I have no experience being really imposing.  I can't teach kids well because they walk right over me.  I know how to be strict, but I'm not able to find that fine line between strict and mean so I don't want to be cruel.  Then adding my vibes, there's nothing really intimidating about me.

 

Although I didn't concentrate on looks, I did have trouble distinguishing what I wanted and what other people wanted.  Was I doing this for myself or for the satisfaction of others?  That was such a hard question to answer.  I started thinking for my own and I think I'm starting to get it.  When I had a friend ghost me, I had to figure out whether I wanted to take T for her approval or did I really want it myself?  When she went away, that scenario disappeared.  Then I could see, was T for myself?  There were way too many things in my life that I had to question that.  I never liked school or music.  I just did it decently for my parents to stop bugging me.  None of it was perfect but I tried.  T definitely helped me, and I did that for myself.  There was no approval to get but my own.  I can decide things for my own now.  I feel slightly better about myself.

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I am trying to stay positive but somedays it is really hard. 

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2 hours ago, Kimmie. said:

I am trying to stay positive but somedays it is really hard. 

(Hugs)

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Today was the second time that I was outside presenting as my real self. And wow jeggings are not made for this kind of weather. And thanks for big coats i meet some people and they did not even look. 

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3 hours ago, Kimmie. said:

Today was the second time that I was outside presenting as my real self. And wow jeggings are not made for this kind of weather. And thanks for big coats i meet some people and they did not even look. 

Most people don't even look. This is also my experience. However sometimes you get a strange look. However this was even when not presenting feminine, but just wearing a skirt.

 

Edit: Great you find the courage to be yourself.

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3 hours ago, Kimmie. said:

Today was the second time that I was outside presenting as my real self. And wow jeggings are not made for this kind of weather. And thanks for big coats i meet some people and they did not even look. 

Have you looked for fleece-lined leggings? Or maybe wear tights under them?

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Just now, daveb said:

Have you looked for fleece-lined leggings? Or maybe wear tights under them?

That could maybe be something, thanks for the tip😃

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  • 2 weeks later...
Lonemathsytoothbrushthief

I finally sent an email to someone(who can send it to the rest of the staff/phd students) coming out to them, and telling them name and pronouns. Never had the guts for it before...I also have a new shirt, and plans to change my name at uni. ^_^ Just need to find two witnesses from the UK so I can write a deed thingy.

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Lonemathsytoothbrushthief
6 hours ago, Just Dani said:

@Lonemathsytoothbrushthief

 

Congrats. ☺️

 

I have nearly everything done for my new passport. It kinda sucks that I have to spend another $160 on a new passport, but I know that it's totally gonna be worth it to see my new name on there. 😊

Massive hugs! ❤️ That's really great, I know it sucks too, I have my current passport until 2025 but now have two different things I'm thinking of changing it for. Firstly, because of how worried I am about 1) the economy and 2) the NHS/benefits system in the UK post Brexit(not to mention that education is going downhill and it worries me as a researcher who likes teaching too), also 3) the housing bubble in London, I often think about moving to Germany/Austria and so was hoping for getting an Austrian passport after claiming citizenship through mum. Secondly, gender stuff-but then if I change to an Austrian passport I need to see what they accept as legal name changes which I suspect isn't as nice as the British version. 😕 So I might need an Austrian name change? Idk.....But YES CONGRATS ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ I'm glad you'll haveyour actual name on it soon ^_^

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Celyn: The Lutening

@Lonemathsytoothbrushthief Whereabouts in London are you, I can vouch for you if you want. Or just be around to support you in this ♡ 

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Lonemathsytoothbrushthief
52 minutes ago, Celyn said:

@Lonemathsytoothbrushthief Whereabouts in London are you, I can vouch for you if you want. Or just be around to support you in this ♡ 

Aw thanks ^_^ I don't think it'll be such a big deal. Well, I might need to check how much I'd need to change my name on in Britain before I could get an Austrian passport with that name? Idk. Bear in mind I'm sorting this out because while I likely could have a decent career in Britain, I don't want to need a visa every time I visit family, and again the benefits system being so terrible right now worries me as an autistic person, trying to get a diagnosis, trying to get transition stuff sorted and who's never been fully in work. It's unlikely I'd move country that soon, but I want to be prepared. And also able to visit my family in Austria xD my mum's moving back from Cyprus now so it's got me planning.

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nerdperson777
On 11/29/2018 at 5:02 AM, Lonemathsytoothbrushthief said:

I finally sent an email to someone(who can send it to the rest of the staff/phd students) coming out to them, and telling them name and pronouns. Never had the guts for it before...I also have a new shirt, and plans to change my name at uni. ^_^ Just need to find two witnesses from the UK so I can write a deed thingy.

I once took this class and I'm not sure how this one guy did it.  I recognized him from one trans meeting he attended.  He had a feminine face and voice, but flat chest.  No one really questioned his name.  I was really wondering, how did he do all this?  Did he only take an E blocker?  He didn't look like he was wearing a binder.  He looked naturally flat, not even a little bit out.  This was in a theatre class so they tend to be more accepting.  We had to be involved in a production as part of the class.  I had trouble telling people to call me he so I just had my shortened birth name the whole time.  For that guy's production, he got a small part as being a clingy gay boy who wouldn't let go of the actor, even though we were all just supposed to be the backstage crew.  But I did get time on the stage moving the furniture and was dressed in the attire of the time, which was pretty cool too.  I got fitted for clothes just like the actors, and didn't write a bra size on the paper they gave me.

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nerdperson777

I guess this would be more euphoric for other people but I'm more indifferent.  I left my razor at my parents' place so then my peach fuzz has been getting long enough for it to tickle my face.  I also seem to have a little bit of chin hair now, which I end up playing with.  But I guess I don't really want chin hair, because I can't look young with it anymore.  I am actually glad that I can't grow a beard.

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I came out to my mum a few weeks ago and she's really supportive. I've also been referred to a gender clinic :)

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2 hours ago, Zsareph said:

I came out to my mum a few weeks ago and she's really supportive. I've also been referred to a gender clinic :)

Congrats. I'm happy to hear that your mom is supportive. And I hope that going to the gender clinic helps. 😊

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4 hours ago, Zsareph said:

I came out to my mum a few weeks ago and she's really supportive. I've also been referred to a gender clinic :)

That is so great i am happy for you!!

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4 hours ago, Zsareph said:

I came out to my mum a few weeks ago and she's really supportive. I've also been referred to a gender clinic :)

Congratulations

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