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Do people ever assume you are gay?


Sherlocks

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Gay people assume I'm straight, straight people assume I'm either gay or not interested in dating. In reality though I'm just a person who gets easily dazzled by all the beautiful people around me, and is too nervous to approach anyone. Sometimes being a romantic ace sucks.

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5 hours ago, SleepyFox said:

Gay people assume I'm straight, straight people assume I'm either gay or not interested in dating. In reality though I'm just a person who gets easily dazzled by all the beautiful people around me, and is too nervous to approach anyone. Sometimes being a romantic ace sucks.

1
 

Same here 

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J. van Deijck

People assume I'm a straight woman (bullshit...), while I am in fact a 'kind of gayish' ace male.

I wouldn't have a problem with being seen as gay male (which is *almost* true anyway), but not with this. 

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WobblyWallaby

Honestly this has never come up in conversation...I think people assume I'm straight because I've dated guys. That being said I've been hit on by women...which is weird but not as pushy as when a guy hits on me.

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Miss Anne Thrope

My mom has been questioning my orientation for 8ish years. It started off more subtle (after telling her my friend is gay: "You could tell me anything and I'd love you no matter what") and evolved into her just straight out asking me if was gay. The last time she did this was during the summer (I'm 22). I'm pretty sure that her current theory is that I'm bi, and/or that I don't care about dating (so she's getting a little closer to my actual pan-ace identity).

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Hermit Advocate

People assume I'm strait. 

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When I was in high school people assumed I was gay.

it was mostly from how I reacted to people though. Like my body cues.

i had gotten better at picking up when people are interested now, but back then when I had some people come up real close to me for hugs or up to my face  and like bump their nose with mine.my reactions were not to move away because  I thought nothing was  wrong, like it was there way of showing affection. I didn't realise that was them sussing me out to see if I would reject them as a partner. After that a lot of people just assumed I was gay. 

And at that age with everyone being hormonal and myself not even knowing why everyone thought I was gay was some pretty interesting couple of years.

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Yes, it also didn't help that I sometimes hang out with gay friends. Also I love dancing. 

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About ten years ago my best friend became obsessed with the assumption that I was gay, even though he is not gay himself.  We had several conversations..almost arguments actually, and finally he said "so are you asexual then?"  it was the first time I had ever heard that term and after he defined it,  without hesitation, I said YES I don't care about sex.

I also had some other friends assume I was gay because I was not coupled up but that was before I knew I was Ace.  Those friends saw things mostly in black and white and could not even accept that someone could be bisexual.

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Some big dingus in high school yelled "move, gay kid!" at me once when the hallways were crowded. I imagine most people probably think I'm gay because of my aesthetic and also because of the way I often talk about eggplants, but no one's ever actually said anything other than that one dingus.

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LouTheElephant

Sometimes I feel like people assume that I'm gay but no one has ever approached me on the subject. 

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blueplanetdreaming

I assumed I was gay for the longest time XD. I'm sure my parents would if I was out to them. I experience very strong platonic attraction, so I think if I was out I would probably be perceived as gay when interacting with people I really like, or even by the people I really like, because I also like mild to moderate physical affection.

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Yup, I'm pretty sure my mom thinks I'm gay. She knitted me rainbow socks...

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3 minutes ago, Tairaadansu said:

Yup, I'm pretty sure my mom thinks I'm gay. She knitted me rainbow socks...

 

LOL thats so cute though! 

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My family always seemed to assume I'm straight which is bs, so whenever boyfriend questions came up, I got so annoyed at some point I started to answer with "or girlfriend?!". I met a gay woman once whom I simply couldn't convince I wasn't gay, so... I tend to have more of a problem with people who think I'm straight though (I guess because of the whole "social norm" thing).

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Yup, my mum in particular. I do remember watching some documentary with her and sexuality came up and she just outright asked me if I was gay, I responded in the negative and she replied with "But you are a bit bio right" no spelling error there, bio :P

 

Mind you, my orientation isn't what I thought it was anyway, I experimented with guys, had a wonderful time, dated some lovely people (One of whom is responsible for my only known foot pop...) then it came to sex with the guy in question and I just couldn't do it. So I assumed that meant I was straight, but since I only had straight sex because I thought I was a freak for not liking it I know now that I just didn't feel pressured into that. Which is a conclusion I would have liked to have come to earlier in life.

 

Regardless, maybe my mum saw something I didn't, I've never had a feeling for a girl that I haven't had for a guy.

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--------------

I actually came out my younger sister today and she told me she had thought I was gay because I'd never shown any interest in guys. 

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Long before I knew I was asexual, I accidentally went on a "date" with a female coworker. Only toward the end of the evening, did I realize she thought I might be interested in her. 

 

I had that happen multiple times with guys, too, though. It seems laughing with and being kind to people caused them to believe I was interested in hooking up with them. 😊

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7 minutes ago, MyOwnSky said:

Long before I knew I was asexual, I accidentally went on a "date" with a female coworker. Only toward the end of the evening, did I realize she thought I might be interested in her. 

 

I had that happen multiple times with guys, too, though. It seems laughing with and being kind to people caused them to believe I was interested in hooking up with them. 😊

 

How do you "accidently" go on date? Do you mean you didnt realize it was a "date"? 

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6 minutes ago, Sherlocks said:

How do you "accidently" go on date? Do you mean you didnt realize it was a "date"? 

I didn't realize that she thought it was a date. I just assumed she invited me to do something because we had a mutual interest in the arts.

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I never thought much about how people perceive my sexuality, until my ex-boyfriend recently informed me that the previously persisting (apparently for the few years I've been single or maybe even longer) rumour that I am gay has been replaced by the "breaking news" that I am sleeping with one of my best male friends. The latter one spread like wildfire within a few days of us going to a biker meet more or less together (travelling apart, spending most of the time apart but eating together and sleeping in the same tent mostly at different times). Even with this piece of gossip going around, a lot of people in my old crowd are convinced that I am a lesbian because I have short hair with a severe undercut...

 

So now apparently I broke off my engagement a few years ago because:

either a) I am a lesbian (look, my hair is short!!)

or b) I've been cheating with a mutual friend.

 

Or maybe the masses believe I switch between heterosexual and homosexual at will, who knows, people are idiots.

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11 hours ago, miau said:

a lot of people in my old crowd are convinced that I am a lesbian because I have short hair with a severe undercut...

I experienced the same thing when I had shorter hair. What the heck is wrong with people to label so's (a)sexuality according to their hair length?!

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Estrella Starr

I've said this on a couple of threads but I'm pretty sure everyone in my life just assumes I'm a deeply closeted lesbian since I've never had a boyfriend and that's why I moved away from home, to be a lesbian anyway from my family. I always knew that wasn't correct, I just didn't have a word for what I was.

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On 16/02/2017 at 8:31 PM, Sherlocks said:

How do you "accidently" go on date? Do you mean you didnt realize it was a "date"? 

An oldie but a goodie ^_^

 

 

But back to the topic at hand, I'm pretty sure my friends have considered it at some point, though I've been sending them mixed messages before I knew I was Ace. I thought I had to "justify my heterosexuality" sometimes, so I forced myself to comment on cute females on TV. But for me they were "cute", not "sexy" or "hot" :)

 

I plan on telling them that I'm Ace next time we meet.

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Lol! So my life!

I remember in high school I got strange looks for never dating or showing interest in all that stuff sexually awakening teens do. 

Now being through Uni I recently got a boyfriend and basically the most common response to this news was a version of "How did that happen? I though you were, you know, not interested (in men)." 

Then I probably do kinda lead people on by being active for the LQBTQ+ community and not doing much girly stuff. Still, no one has ever asked outright. 

Can't really say it bothers me though, I just remain silent and smile.  :D

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