Ideal Relationship (or not!)

[Chorvus]

I'm feeling a bit negative about my potential future, so I'd like to hear about what an ideal relationship would look like for everyone else! (I'm trying to subtly find some other members who may want the same things I do...)

 

It can be romantic or not, sexual or not, living-in-same-house or not, with or without pets, friends with benefits, more than one person, no person at all, etc. The other person (if there is one), are they allo? aro? heart-stoppingly funny? 

 

What would make you happy? What kind of relationship do you want?

[Galactic Turtle]

I want to live with a friend who also doesn't fancy the idea of carrying out a romantic relationship. I actually have one in mind.  Unfortunately she lives on the other side of the planet right now for grad school.  I think a relationship like that isn't something I can ask for like one would ask someone out on a date if they had romantic interest. I think that eventually through circumstances we might just move in together (very common for friends to do in NYC) and just keep that arrangement for... hopefully a long time.

[Perfectly Pointless]

I don't want kids or anything like that, and I'm not fussed about marriage, but a romantic partner would be nice. As for sexual or not... I don't know. It may well be another 20 years before I find someone, and I could have changed by then. Who knows?

In terms of the ideal partner, someone who I could have a laugh with but also have incredibly deep and philosophical/intellectual debates and conversations with. But also someone who I could just sit there in comfortable silence with. Maybe a dark sense of humour, too? I'd definitely need someone who can handle my offensive humour and contraversial remarks, at least.  

 

Definitely living in the same house, I don't know if I could handle being alone all the time. One of my biggest fears is having to move into a house where I'm by myself all the time. I'm fine with feeling lonely, but not alone, if that makes sense? 

 

Honestly, I'm all for just living day by day and not thinking about the future too much. I have ideal situations, but the cynic in me is aware that these are not realistically attainable and they're unlikely to ever happen. I think I find life much less stressful if I don't think about what I want, because then I have to think about how unattainable and distant it all seems. (Although in terms of a day to day basis, my spontaneity gets me into some comical (and embarrassing) situations literally all the time)

[Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet]

My ideal relationship would be a QPR. My Queerplatonic Partner and I would live together. We would cuddle a lot

We would hang out and stuff! We would be there for one another always  there would be NO KIDS.

Though I wouldn't have more then one QPP, if my QPP met someone they liked and wanted aQPP with that person, I would be willing to work something out because to me, a QPR is more then a friendship, but it isn't a romantic relationship, so I'd be a lot less jealous.

 

I am not the one for romance, but I'm open to it. If I was in a romantic relationship....

It would be with Minzy

 LMAO

 And I ain't sharing 

 

 

[Giulietta]

The ideal relationship for me is one of... convenience I guess? I'd still want to have romantic feelings towards the partner, and hope that they had them towards me- but for the most part living alone is very expensive, and as my dream job one would also be very exhausting, so I'd want someone to split bills and responsibility with. And then just... movie nights, we could have some cats because I love cats so much, and raise a couple kids (adopted- there are too many kids without families). 

[knick-knack]

I'm too young to think about living with someone and having kids, bills and serious responsabilities ;_; I just want someone willing to cuddle on a sofa and watch Upstream Color with me.

Also, cats.

[Léonor]

I like the idea of companionship? Sort of a deep friendship (possibly romantic elements but I'm still not sure) Nothing sexual or particularly romantic.

[hekoppetaca1]

Asexual. Very, very, very romantic, full of warmth. Passionate (in asexual manner of course). Entire nights being snuggled into each other. Listening to heartbeat and breath. Looking into eyes. Being completely unconditionally loving for each other. Supporting. Listening to emotions. Compassionate. Patient. Being independent in career, etc life. Just sharing feelings and closeness. Giving presents without occasion. Trust. Tolerance. Equality. Pulling up only. Being vulnerable and open. Just two of us coexisting and recharging for another day of life-work. Recycling all the negativity gained trough day and emitting harmonized energies into atmosphere. Bringing example of peace by deepness of shared feelings.

 

Am I mentally ill or something?

[sindi]

I'd like an extra close BFF with some romantic elements thrown in, and not living under the same roof (probably)  Sensual touching and even pecks would be okay, but prolonged cuddling sessions would probably make me bored, and I find tongue kissing icky (at least it was with the only person I tried it with). I wouldn't need it to be super duper committed/monogamous, but at least we wouldn't abandon each other over someone else.

[HonoraryJedi]

My idea of what a perfect relationship would be has changed over time, as I have come to realisations of how I work and what I am comfortable with and not. This may still change, but right now, I feel like the type of relationship that would suite me best is the Lord of the Rings type of love-friendship. You know, where they are very clear that they love each other but it isn't romantic at all? That's the best way I can explain it at least. I know some people might refer to this as QPR, and others as 'bromance', but I have never understood either term especially well^^'

 

A stable friend (or more friends) who I can be as vulnerable with, and as close to as I want without being worried about bumping the relationship into something else that I don't understand. Emotional intimacy without the expectation of romance, if that makes sense. We would understand eachother, and help eachother out.

[Araminta]

On 02/02/2017 at 10:42 AM, hekoppetaca1 said:

Asexual. Very, very, very romantic, full of warmth. Passionate (in asexual manner of course). Entire nights being snuggled into each other. Listening to heartbeat and breath. Looking into eyes. Being completely unconditionally loving for each other. Supporting. Listening to emotions. Compassionate. Patient. Being independent in career, etc life. Just sharing feelings and closeness. Giving presents without occasion. Trust. Tolerance. Equality. Pulling up only. Being vulnerable and open. Just two of us coexisting and recharging for another day of life-work. Recycling all the negativity gained trough day and emitting harmonized energies into atmosphere. Bringing example of peace by deepness of shared feelings.

This! I have nothing to add, because this would be so perfect. 

[CompassionTapir]

I'd like someone who would accept that I love very easily. That's kind of the way that I've always been. But, it freaks people out who aren't used to a stranger caring so deeply at first. I had a relationship once where I told the person that I loved them on the first date.  They didn't flinch because they were the same way. So it happens. I think it's because empathy is my super power. 

 

I also need to be with a partner who isn't very jealous. I need them to accept that I can have strong feelings for others knowing that I am committed to them. I would want them to know that at the end of the day that I come home to them. I've been in open relationships in the past, but I'm looking for monogamy now. I'm feeling a bit more selfish in wanting a partner who chooses me over others. I  don't know why. It's just something that changed for me a few years ago. 

 

I would say that I fantasize most about sharing deep feelings with a partner. Emotional intimacy is very important to me. Perhaps what I seek most from a relationship. I like that level of knowing understanding that you can reach over time. When I can just give a look and the person knows what I'm thinking. I also like thoughtful gifts and things which are handmade.

 

I'd like to be someone's muse. To have mutual support for creative ambitions, no matter how they manifest. 

 

I think vulnerability is up there for me too. I want to be truthful without fear of retaliation or retribution.

 

I do see some romance in this. I'd like to go on dates and such. But no interest in sex or physical touching beyond holding hands, hugs, cuddles, and kisses. I wouldn't want to sleep in the same bed. But we could share the same apartment or house. 

[Chorvus]

On 1/31/2017 at 6:01 PM, Galactic Turtle said:

I want to live with a friend who also doesn't fancy the idea of carrying out a romantic relationship. I actually have one in mind.  Unfortunately she lives on the other side of the planet right now for grad school.  I think a relationship like that isn't something I can ask for like one would ask someone out on a date if they had romantic interest. I think that eventually through circumstances we might just move in together (very common for friends to do in NYC) and just keep that arrangement for... hopefully a long time.

I think that sounds wonderful! I hope it works out :>

 

On 1/31/2017 at 6:25 PM, Perfectly Pointless said:

In terms of the ideal partner, someone who I could have a laugh with but also have incredibly deep and philosophical/intellectual debates and conversations with. But also someone who I could just sit there in comfortable silence with. Maybe a dark sense of humour, too? I'd definitely need someone who can handle my offensive humour and contraversial remarks, at least.

The comfortable silence, where you don't need to talk but just feel happy being there with each other... that right there.

 

On 1/31/2017 at 6:34 PM, Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet said:

Though I wouldn't have more then one QPP, if my QPP met someone they liked and wanted aQPP with that person, I would be willing to work something out because to me, a QPR is more then a friendship, but it isn't a romantic relationship, so I'd be a lot less jealous.

Honestly, I don't know if I could do that! Props to you though.

 

On 2/1/2017 at 4:31 PM, Giulietta said:

For the most part living alone is very expensive, and as my dream job one would also be very exhausting, so I'd want someone to split bills and responsibility with. And then just... movie nights, we could have some cats because I love cats so much, and raise a couple kids (adopted- there are too many kids without families). 

Very practical, sounds wonderful and conscientious.

 

On 2/1/2017 at 5:09 PM, knick-knack said:

 

I'm too young to think about living with someone and having kids, bills and serious responsabilities

 

I mean I guess ideally there would be no bills or serious responsibilities.

 

On 2/2/2017 at 4:02 AM, Léonor said:

Sort of a deep friendship (possibly romantic elements but I'm still not sure) Nothing sexual or particularly romantic.

I like this.

 

On 2/2/2017 at 4:42 AM, hekoppetaca1 said:

Asexual. Very, very, very romantic, full of warmth. Passionate (in asexual manner of course).

As a possible aro, your post sounds pretty great anyway.

 

On 2/2/2017 at 4:54 AM, sindi said:

I'd like an extra close BFF with some romantic elements thrown in

Sort of like friends with benefits then? But not the benefits everyone thinks of first :>

 

On 2/2/2017 at 5:47 AM, HonoraryJedi said:

A stable friend (or more friends) who I can be as vulnerable with, and as close to as I want without being worried about bumping the relationship into something else that I don't understand. Emotional intimacy without the expectation of romance, if that makes sense. We would understand eachother, and help eachother out.

*fistbump* This!

 

10 hours ago, CompassionTapir said:

I also need to be with a partner who isn't very jealous. I need them to accept that I can have strong feelings for others knowing that I am committed to them. I would want them to know that at the end of the day that I come home to them. I've been in open relationships in the past, but I'm looking for monogamy now. I'm feeling a bit more selfish in wanting a partner who chooses me over others. I  don't know why. It's just something that changed for me a few years ago. 

I think it's ok to change! And good luck!

[hekoppetaca1]

5 minutes ago, Chorvus said:

As a possible aro, your post sounds pretty great anyway.

My gawd, thank you ;D.

[Sherlocks]

I would want a partner in crime. Someone who always has your back no matter what and will follow you through anything. Kind of like Sherlock and Watson from the show Sherlock.