Sotapanna Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 On 2/12/2017 at 9:04 AM, Muledeer said: Is the topic term an oxymoron? I mean, how can someone enjoy the act of cuddling without romantic feelings? Ever cuddle a dog? a sibling? a parent? it's very possible. FWIW, I came to know myself very late in life. My 12 yr old son still does sometimes, he also kisses me on the lips sometimes... Which is easier to believe, one of us has the hots for the other romantically, or that it's platonic? (believe me, no romance exists on either side of that relationship ) Link to post Share on other sites
MangoMadness Posted October 16, 2017 Share Posted October 16, 2017 I platonically cuddle with nearly all of my friends, both male and female, and it's great! I think that's one of the best parts about being asexual, that people are more open to physical touch with you since it's not in a sexual way. Link to post Share on other sites
carbomb Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 I sort of do, but it's not really platonic because she clearly likes me and I sort of maybe like her. So, eh... Link to post Share on other sites
gigglefritz Posted May 16, 2018 Share Posted May 16, 2018 I've been doing professional cuddling for about three months in central Virginia. There is a lot to say in response to people's questions and concerns, but I will say that it is absolutely amazing what being in a safe accepting space where you receive platonic touch on a regular basis can do for a person, both emotionally and physically. Not everyone is lucky enough to have people in their life to provide this, but their need for it is very real, it's a biological need. Even if you have someone, sometimes it's healthy to unload your emotions and needs on a third party in order to relieve pressure on and be more fully present with that person. As a pro, being able to provide this for people has absolutely turned my life around. For asexuals, this is a very important resource to be aware of, as so many of us feel isolated, lonely, and/or unaccepted or misunderstood. To be in a space where you are accepted wholly as you are, it is amazing... Link to post Share on other sites
Alllan53 Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 On 5/16/2018 at 11:37 PM, gigglefritz said: I've been doing professional cuddling for about three months in central Virginia. There is a lot to say in response to people's questions and concerns, but I will say that it is absolutely amazing what being in a safe accepting space where you receive platonic touch on a regular basis can do for a person, both emotionally and physically. Not everyone is lucky enough to have people in their life to provide this, but their need for it is very real, it's a biological need. Even if you have someone, sometimes it's healthy to unload your emotions and needs on a third party in order to relieve pressure on and be more fully present with that person. As a pro, being able to provide this for people has absolutely turned my life around. For asexuals, this is a very important resource to be aware of, as so many of us feel isolated, lonely, and/or unaccepted or misunderstood. To be in a space where you are accepted wholly as you are, it is amazing... How much do professional cuddlers tend to cost? Link to post Share on other sites
gigglefritz Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 6 minutes ago, Alllan53 said: How much do professional cuddlers tend to cost? National average is $80/hr. I personally am cheaper M-Th and also offer a discount to people I meet through an Ace group, but every pro is different. The only thing I suggest is being selective in who you use, since there are a decent number of people just in it for the money. The service is completely worth it when working with a good pro, but at the worst, it's a waste of money if with someone disingenuous. Link to post Share on other sites
CatWhisperer Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 I did and sort of still do have a cuddle buddy, we weren't touchy when I was with my ex as jealousy was at play but, once we broke up I needed somewhere to vent cuddle stuffs, and he was my closest friend at the time. Ngl it was a bit weird at first, as I wasn't fully aware if he would try anything romantic with me, but it’s ended up fine and even in my new relationship, I’m still very close and comfortable with him as long as there's clarity and honesty, I think anyone can get comfortable like that. Link to post Share on other sites
RakshaTheCat Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 On 5/17/2018 at 1:37 AM, gigglefritz said: I've been doing professional cuddling for about three months in central Virginia. Heh, I had no idea things like that actually exist. But now when I think about it, it makes sense, touch is important. Makes me a bit jealous though, since you girls can actually do something like that professionally Do you learn 'professional cuddling' on your own, or get taught by someone else? That knowledge seems like something that might be useful even in normal relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
gigglefritz Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 3 minutes ago, Marcin said: Heh, I had no idea things like that actually exist. But now when I think about it, it makes sense, touch is important. Makes me a bit jealous though, since you girls can actually do something like that professionally Do you learn 'professional cuddling' on your own, or get taught by someone else? That knowledge seems like something that might be useful even in normal relationship. There are some men professionals, but they unfortunately have a bit more of a tough road to get their clients 😕 I'ts still very new in the industry. I'm sure things will get better as the service gets more well known and accepted by society. Women need cuddles too, and cuddling a professional allows you to cuddle without worrying about ulterior motives or wondering where things are going, which are often an issue when cuddling with friends... I have taken the Cuddlist online class, but it's not that great. I'm planning on going to the training at Cuddle Sanctuary in California in October. In-person training are courses are great if you can afford it. I know people who have done them... There is a cuddlexpo in Chicago in September which I think will also be interesting for enthusiasts along with professionals. I'm all registered for that and going. I still need to get the hotel room... I'm still hoping to find someone to split costs with. Link to post Share on other sites
RakshaTheCat Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 11 minutes ago, gigglefritz said: Women need cuddles too, and cuddling a professional allows you to cuddle without worrying about ulterior motives or wondering where things are going, which are often an issue when cuddling with friends... I wouldn't be surprised if even super straight women would rather pick other women for cuddles, because it would feel safer. I think you've done some, hmm, non professional cuddle meetups too? How does that work? Link to post Share on other sites
gigglefritz Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 10 minutes ago, Marcin said: I wouldn't be surprised if even super straight women would rather pick other women for cuddles, because it would feel safer. I think you've done some, hmm, non professional cuddle meetups too? How does that work? Maybe as a first step, but cuddling with a male professional would be an important step for heterosexual clients who are looking to get comfortable with physical touch again in preparation for being able to be in a relationship again. It completely depends on the clients, your marketing, and reviews. Do some people prefer female masseuses to male? Probably. But not everyone... It's a tougher road, but completely feasible, and definitely a need. There are even heterosexual men who seek out male professionals as an experience in becoming more comfortable with touch independent of sex. That may actually be easier for some men than cuddling women non-sexually, since there is no sexual attraction for them. What do you mean non-professional cuddle meetups? Do you want to private message me? Link to post Share on other sites
RakshaTheCat Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 17 minutes ago, gigglefritz said: What do you mean non-professional cuddle meetups? Do you want to private message me? Sure, I can message you privately. I noticed you were organizing some events in May and I was referring to those, was just curious how things like that work. Link to post Share on other sites
gigglefritz Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 30 minutes ago, Marcin said: Sure, I can message you privately. I noticed you were organizing some events in May and I was referring to those, was just curious how things like that work. OH. Yeah, I help organize the local ace meetup group, but that is different O:-) Link to post Share on other sites
Epitaph Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 I see I'm a little late to the post query but I'll give it a go anyway. I did at one time. I'm not exactly adversed to touch but it's uncommon for me and I tense up if I am touched as one of two thoughts crosses me. 1. I've bumped into somebody and am about to send them sprawling if I keep moving. 2. Somebody's attacking me. It was mainly my pal that introduced me to it. She fell into a strange category. I won't ever really know if she was an acquaintance or something more, the way our relationship worked was for lack of a better term undefined and rocky. She was sexual but knew I fell into a strange ballpark. Never made sexual advances on me after she knew I was a little different but was happy to cuddle. I remember one day I showed up at her house after having a shit day I didn't want anything to do with and that was the first time she did it. After that it became a little more common. I think the best part of it was sleeping. Being the weirdo she was, and me being the weirdo I was accepted her offer to sleep with her(in the non sexual sense). She was perfectly fine sleeping with somebody's arms around her and I made it a habit to grab something and hold it when I sleep. I wake up with cats or objects in my arms most mornings. Waking up to have a person that I cared for and that cared about me in some capacity so close made a difference in my life as a whole during that time. Mornings were actually nice to wake up to for once. Link to post Share on other sites
LucindaC Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 If I ever leave my current career, I want to be a professional cuddler. I LOVE hugging. So Much. I hug all of my female friends, but only two of my male ones - I've got some work to do there before I'd feel comfortable with more man-hugs... Link to post Share on other sites
RakshaTheCat Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 2 hours ago, LucindaC said: I hug all of my female friends, but only two of my male ones - I've got some work to do there before I'd feel comfortable with more man-hugs... For that, I blame social conditioning that a lot of us got. I remember what I got when I was a kid. It boiled down to "stick with males for fun, interact with females only to get sex"... I dismissed it straight away, but it still affects me, because I know that any kind of touch will likely be interpreted as sexual advances by default... Which, in turn, made me avoid touch at all cost, unless I know someone really well... So, hmm, no wonder touching males is something that very few people are comfortable with... Link to post Share on other sites
Karoushi Posted July 18, 2018 Share Posted July 18, 2018 No but I would really like one in the near future. I love hugs Link to post Share on other sites
AcornCarvings Posted July 18, 2018 Share Posted July 18, 2018 yep! but we are often times not in town at the same time, so I only see her a few weeks of the year Link to post Share on other sites
LucindaC Posted July 18, 2018 Share Posted July 18, 2018 23 hours ago, Marcin said: For that, I blame social conditioning that a lot of us got. Actually, I blame it on sexual abuse that I suffered as a child, and later fearful attitudes towards men that have been repeatedly reinforced from bad experiences with men since. Link to post Share on other sites
RakshaTheCat Posted July 18, 2018 Share Posted July 18, 2018 26 minutes ago, LucindaC said: Actually, I blame it on sexual abuse that I suffered as a child, and later fearful attitudes towards men that have been repeatedly reinforced from bad experiences with men since. Yes, that's my point, its all connected. Social conditioning actually encourages that behavior in men. Link to post Share on other sites
Plant.Parent.02 Posted July 19, 2018 Share Posted July 19, 2018 I finally have a cuddle buddy and we are in a completely platonic friendship! I have always wanted to cuddle with somebody who did not think of me as more than a friend because honestly all I want out of cuddling is to feel warm and happy with somebody. They came over to my place to watch Lala land and we just started spooning and I was very happy about it. Now every time they come to my house we cuddle and I just think it is really cool. Link to post Share on other sites
AlostCowboy Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 I have in the past. Though we didnt meet on the interwebs. A very good friend of mine, she would sleep over, just sleep and cuddling and I am grateful that it happened. I think that it can work and be quite positive, especially for folks that experience "skin hunger" but are not either in a place for some kind of closer relationship or are just not interested in said relationship. to that point, I miss my cuddle buddy greatly, there is a kind of security in knowing that we could share conversation, time, and a bed, but with no expectation on either side of anything more physical to sharing proximity to each other. Link to post Share on other sites
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