Alex_ Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 (edited) . Edited October 2, 2017 by Alex_ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RoseGoesToYale Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 I suppose it's possible. I did go 2-for-2 once. I had a feeling two peers in a class were ace, and they turned out to be. I need more empirical evidence, though. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mychemicalqpr Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 I'm panromantic and seem to have a gay/bi/etc radar, but I don't seem to have as much luck identifying asexuals just on intuition. I have a couple ideas for why this could be. It may be easier to detect the presence of something than the lack of it, or, since asexuals are rare, and I have not observed any confirmed examples besides myself in real life, I may have less internal subconscious data on them to use. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anime Pancake Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 Good question. I suggest calling it A-dar Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sylvastor Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 A-dar sounds good! I'm sure this "radar" exists. I suppose it is because of a better insight to asexuality. As such, people who are somewhere on the asexual spectrum will be more likely to recognize traits and patterns of behaviour that are typically more common for asexual people (think of the "Incredibly Ace Moments" and "#AsexualProblems" threads as examples). At least that's my explanation for it. I don't spend enough time around "new" people in meatspace to make a judgement whether I'd be good at that or not though. I could successfully refer one person towards asexuality before though, who's (most likely) also the only one I know personally. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rynn Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 I personally can't tell if people are ace or not. I tend to think everyone is ace until they prove me wrong. When I was a teenager I used to think everyone was like me, but no... Sometimes I can tell if people are gay or not, but I've often been wrong too. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SithLord Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 I don't have it. I figured my sis was aro-ace which I caught on to, but my friend is ace and I had no idea. I think it's just confirmation bias or lucky guesses. Not all of us fit the stereotypes needed to identify aces among the sea of sexuals. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
fuzzipueo Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 I seem to have the knack for finding gay guys, but not aces. Whether it's unconscious clues or what have you, I don't know. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ChewBecka Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 I can be quite good at picking it up, particularly if I'm in a group where people are making sexual references or innuendos... I always express disgust when people start referencing sex so if someone else does too I tend to figure they might be at least demi or sex repulsed Quote Link to post Share on other sites
chair jockey Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 I don't believe that intuitions of any kind are reliable. They primarily assist us in misunderstanding other people and having false beliefs about them. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Muledeer Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 I am always wrong when assuming anybody is anything but hetero. I am always amazed how gay people can just find each other. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
m4rble Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 2 hours ago, patchworkdaydreams said: I can be quite good at picking it up, particularly if I'm in a group where people are making sexual references or innuendos... I always express disgust when people start referencing sex so if someone else does too I tend to figure they might be at least demi or sex repulsed That's not a great way of doing it because asexuals can still think sexual jokes are funny. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Alex_ Posted January 29, 2017 Author Share Posted January 29, 2017 12 hours ago, Laurann said: I personally can't tell if people are ace or not. I tend to think everyone is ace until they prove me wrong. When I was a teenager I used to think everyone was like me, but no... Sometimes I can tell if people are gay or not, but I've often been wrong too. Rt 😂😂😂 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rynn Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 2 minutes ago, Rober said: Rt 😂😂😂 ? What does that mean? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Alex_ Posted January 29, 2017 Author Share Posted January 29, 2017 Just now, Laurann said: ? What does that mean? Oh, in spain we say it when we want to say that you also do/think the same thing that the person that you are replaying. Is the abreviation of ReTweet. I thought it was used in all the world hahaha Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Xavy Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 There are 2 girls in my office that I think may be Ace, but I know that ultimately a person can only be considered "Ace" if they identify themselves as such, so regardless of what apparent signs of "ace-ness" I detect in these 2 girls, it really means nothing. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rynn Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 35 minutes ago, Rober said: Oh, in spain we say it when we want to say that you also do/think the same thing that the person that you are replaying. Is the abreviation of ReTweet. I thought it was used in all the world hahaha Oh that's funny! Do you think that's just a Spanish thing, or would Latin American people do that too? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Alex_ Posted January 29, 2017 Author Share Posted January 29, 2017 27 minutes ago, Laurann said: Oh that's funny! Do you think that's just a Spanish thing, or would Latin American people do that too? Maybe hahaha Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Shadow Heart Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 If I have it, I am not confident enough to employ it in any other way than just a hunch. There is one person I know who I am pretty sure is Asexual, in fact I even brought it up to him and he thought it described him pretty well, but we have said little else about it. My problem is that I never tend to see people as actually being sexual. I see them as being either interesting or not-so-interesting individuals, but it never enters my head that they do sexual things or even that they have partners. When I am reminded of this fact, as I am bound to be so, it is sometimes quite hard hitting for me and I'm like "oh yeah, I forgot about that". Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tatsuya Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 I have the bad habit of treating everyone I meet like they're ace until proven otherwise, so... You could say I have an A-dar, it just malfunctions a lot. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ChewBecka Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 14 hours ago, m4rble said: That's not a great way of doing it because asexuals can still think sexual jokes are funny. Thanks for your encouraging comment there This is a discussion not a points-scoring, how right are you thing, so if it works for me then surely that's fine? I don't actively look for other asexual people but in my experience asexual people don't find detailed discussions and humour about sex to be particularly funny. As I said, it tends to illuminate sex-repulsed people Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ettina Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 The one openly ace guy I met IRL, at a Pride thing at my university, I had pegged as gay because he was a bit effeminate. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
notfeelingit98 Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 My ace-dar is often confused for the overwhelming please-be-ace-dar. So... yeah, doesn't work that well. And I never feel exactly comfortable about trying to guess someone's sexuality from how they look/act, even though I'm mostly right. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Fox6 Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 I don't think anyone ever suspected I was asexual. My mom thinks I am just shy... and that's it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sindi Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 I don't know if I have it, because I have suspected some people to be asexual, but never found out whether they were or not (I didn't know them closely at all, so I couldn't simply ask). My gay-dar for one seems to be completely broken, because I have several times thought that a straight girl shows signs of attraction towards me, and it turned out to mean nothing D: What comes to other people having A-dar or biromantic-dar on me, I'm very disappointed! People always, always assume that I'm simply hetero, and are even baffled that I'm not in a hetero relationship or dating guys right now. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Private Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 On 1/28/2017 at 4:07 PM, Rober said: As gay people say they have a "gay-dar" (gay radar), do you think we have an "ace-dar" or something like that? I mean; if we know someone asexual in real life, do you think that we will know it? Well, I am straight, but when I was single I lived in the West Village of Manhattan, which has a large gay population, and since I was looking for a straight man, I had great gay-dar. Still, I think being asexual is actually a situation that keeps people more in the closet these days, than does being gay. Being gay is considered cool and okay. Being asexual is still considered weird. Therefore IMO, a lot of people still try to hid their asexuality. So, no, I do not think it is as easy to hone your ace-dar as it is to hone your gay dar. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Leolith Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 If it exists, then I certainly don't have it Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sunket Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 I think I can tell, for the most part, and sexuals can to a lot of the time. But it's mostly energy people put off. I always thought i was just invisible (grant it very shy also) but I saw a YouTube vid of a girl saying she was in a class with a ace and didn't even recognize him, never noticed him until he started speaking on being ace. Sexual people put out an energy that makes me personally uncomfortable. I think people in the ace spectrum make me comfortable, almost like I'm drawn to them so that I can feel safe (especially the opposite sex) needless to say I don't have a lot of guy friends. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RK800 Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 Eh no, not really. I try not to be presumptuous though, despite this, my brain sort of classifies everyone as ace until proven otherwise because it's easier for me to deal with; which is something I need to work on. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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