Jump to content

Recommended Posts

RoseGoesToYale

I suppose it's possible. I did go 2-for-2 once. I had a feeling two peers in a class were ace, and they turned out to be. I need more empirical evidence, though.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Mychemicalqpr

I'm panromantic and seem to have a gay/bi/etc radar, but I don't seem to have as much luck identifying asexuals just on intuition. I have a couple ideas for why this could be. It may be easier to detect the presence of something than the lack of it, or, since asexuals are rare, and I have not observed any confirmed examples besides myself in real life, I may have less internal subconscious data on them to use. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

A-dar sounds good! :lol:

 

I'm sure this "radar" exists.

I suppose it is because of a better insight to asexuality. As such, people who are somewhere on the asexual spectrum will be more likely to recognize traits and patterns of behaviour that are typically more common for asexual people (think of the "Incredibly Ace Moments" and "#AsexualProblems" threads as examples). At least that's my explanation for it.

 

I don't spend enough time around "new" people in meatspace to make a judgement whether I'd be good at that or not though. I could successfully refer one person towards asexuality before though, who's (most likely) also the only one I know personally.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I personally can't tell if people are ace or not. I tend to think everyone is ace until they prove me wrong.

When I was a teenager I used to think everyone was like me, but no...

 

Sometimes I can tell if people are gay or not, but I've often been wrong too.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't have it.  I figured my sis was aro-ace which I caught on to, but my friend is ace and I had no idea.  I think it's just confirmation bias or lucky guesses.  Not all of us fit the stereotypes needed to identify aces among the sea of  sexuals.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I seem to have the knack for finding gay guys, but not aces. Whether it's unconscious clues or what have you, I don't know.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I can be quite good at picking it up, particularly if I'm in a group where people are making sexual references or innuendos... I always express disgust when people start referencing sex so if someone else does too I tend to figure they might be at least demi or sex repulsed

Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't believe that intuitions of any kind are reliable. They primarily assist us in misunderstanding other people and having false beliefs about them.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I am always wrong when assuming anybody is anything but hetero.   I am always amazed how gay people can just find each other.

Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, patchworkdaydreams said:

I can be quite good at picking it up, particularly if I'm in a group where people are making sexual references or innuendos... I always express disgust when people start referencing sex so if someone else does too I tend to figure they might be at least demi or sex repulsed

That's not a great way of doing it because asexuals can still think sexual jokes are funny. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
12 hours ago, Laurann said:

I personally can't tell if people are ace or not. I tend to think everyone is ace until they prove me wrong.

When I was a teenager I used to think everyone was like me, but no...

 

Sometimes I can tell if people are gay or not, but I've often been wrong too.

Rt 😂😂😂

Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Laurann said:

?

What does that mean?

Oh, in spain we say it when we want to say that you also do/think the same thing that the person that you are replaying. Is the abreviation of ReTweet. I thought it was used in all the world hahaha

Link to post
Share on other sites

There are 2 girls in my office that I think may be Ace, but I know that ultimately a person can only be considered "Ace" if they identify themselves as such, so regardless of what apparent signs of "ace-ness" I detect in these 2 girls, it really means nothing.

Link to post
Share on other sites
35 minutes ago, Rober said:

Oh, in spain we say it when we want to say that you also do/think the same thing that the person that you are replaying. Is the abreviation of ReTweet. I thought it was used in all the world hahaha

Oh that's funny! Do you think that's just a Spanish thing, or would Latin American people do that too? 

Link to post
Share on other sites

If I have it, I am not confident enough to employ it in any other way than just a hunch. There is one person I know who I am pretty sure is Asexual, in fact I even brought it up to him and he thought it described him pretty well, but we have said little else about it.

 

My problem is that I never tend to see people as actually being sexual. I see them as being either interesting or not-so-interesting individuals, but it never enters my head that they do sexual things or even that they have partners. When I am reminded of this fact, as I am bound to be so, it is sometimes quite hard hitting for me and I'm like "oh yeah, I forgot about that".

Link to post
Share on other sites

I have the bad habit of treating everyone I meet like they're ace until proven otherwise, so... You could say I have an A-dar, it just malfunctions a lot.

Link to post
Share on other sites
14 hours ago, m4rble said:

That's not a great way of doing it because asexuals can still think sexual jokes are funny. 

Thanks for your encouraging comment there :huh: This is a discussion not a points-scoring, how right are you thing, so if it works for me then surely that's fine? I don't actively look for other asexual people but in my experience asexual people don't find detailed discussions and humour about sex to be particularly funny. As I said, it tends to illuminate sex-repulsed people

Link to post
Share on other sites

The one openly ace guy I met IRL, at a Pride thing at my university, I had pegged as gay because he was a bit effeminate.   

Link to post
Share on other sites
notfeelingit98

My ace-dar is often confused for the overwhelming please-be-ace-dar. So... yeah, doesn't work that well. And I never feel exactly comfortable about trying to guess someone's sexuality from how they look/act, even though I'm mostly right.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't know if I have it, because I have suspected some people to be asexual, but never found out whether they were or not (I didn't know them closely at all, so I couldn't simply ask). My gay-dar for one seems to be completely broken, because I have several times thought that a straight girl shows signs of attraction towards me, and it turned out to mean nothing D: 

What comes to other people having A-dar or biromantic-dar on me, I'm very disappointed! People always, always assume that I'm simply hetero, and are even baffled that I'm not in a hetero relationship or dating guys right now.

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 1/28/2017 at 4:07 PM, Rober said:

As gay people say they have a "gay-dar" (gay radar), do you think we have an "ace-dar" or something like that? I mean; if we know someone asexual in real life, do you think that we will know it?

Well, I am straight, but when I was single I lived in the West Village of Manhattan, which has a large gay population, and since I was looking for a straight man, I had great gay-dar.  

 

Still, I think being asexual is actually a situation that keeps people more in the closet these days, than does being gay.

 

Being gay is considered cool and okay. 

 

Being asexual is still considered weird.

 

Therefore IMO, a lot of people still try to hid their asexuality.

 

So, no, I do not think it is as easy to hone your ace-dar as it is to hone your gay dar.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

I think I can tell, for the most part, and sexuals can to a lot of the time. But it's mostly energy people put off. I always thought i was just invisible (grant it very shy also) but I saw a YouTube vid of a girl saying she was in a class with a ace and didn't even recognize him, never noticed him until he started speaking on being ace. Sexual people put out an energy that makes me personally uncomfortable. I think people in the ace spectrum make me comfortable, almost like I'm drawn to them so that I can feel safe (especially the opposite sex) needless to say I don't have a lot of guy friends. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Eh no, not really. I try not to be presumptuous though, despite this, my brain sort of classifies everyone as ace until proven otherwise because it's easier for me to deal with; which is something I need to work on.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...