Teen Corner

[HolyShrimp]

5 hours ago, teayah said:

Hi, I have known I am asexual for quite a bit, yet I start questioning if its because I am like only fourteen and people don't really get sexually attracted at this age (as far as I know).

14 here as well! I only recently discovered Asexuality, and already feel like it fits me. What I’ve seen from other forums, articles, books, videos, Instagram, etc, is that there is not “too young” to know your sexuality. Anyone who tells you that is wrong, label yourself in whatever way feels most comfortable to you. For me I’ve seen people of age 12 get sexually attracted, and people of age 18. I’d say that everyone is different and matures in their own way, so don’t let others experiences define what yours are going to be! If you feel that you’re asexual now, even though you’re young, that’s okay. And if you want to change labels later on, that’s okay too! 

[Finch Koala]

I was 14 when I first identified as asexual and joined AVEN (I'm 15 now). I've always been like 98% sure that I'm ace since I found the term. My romantic orientation is still giving me trouble but I'll figure out at some point, hopefully. I've endured the "you're too young" and the "you might be a late bloomer" comments from my parents and peers, it just kind of goes over my head now. I'm more likely to get homophobic comments thrown at me than aphobic, I still have to get used to those. My dad came and had a big talk with me (after my mom outed me, THANKS FOR THAT, not) about how my label might change in the future. And I get that, I've changed my romantic orientation twice now (internally) and I haven't had anyone have a problem with that. I'm just kind of going with the flow at this point and seeing what's going to mess up my life next. I don't really now what just happened, I kind of word vomited, but hopefully you get the idea (not that I know what the idea was). 

[Rollo Tony]

On 7/5/2020 at 8:10 PM, RazzberryCake said:

Hi folks! I’m new to aven and recently posted in “questions about Asexuality”. I was redirected here, so I thought I would share the same post to get the opinion of others around my age!

 

the post:

I've been questioning my sexuality for a while now. I'm never sure exactly how to identify. People always say that you just know by who you're attracted to, but I've never had a crush or been attracted to someone, as far as I can tell anyway. Until around a week ago I'd never considered the possibility that I could be asexual, but after doing much research through articles, quizzes, forums, and Instagram pages, I've started to feel as if I identify more with asexuality. The thing is, I'm only in my early teens and I'm worried that I'm just not old enough to have had the chance to meet someone that I would be sexually attracted to. I'm also worried that if I did come out as ace, and then decide that it doesn't fit later on, will I have just been taking advantage of the asexual community? Are these legitimate worries that others have, or is it just my anxiety?

 

Wondering if y’all have any advice or feel the same way?

Hey there!

I’m still in my teen years and have been identifying with asexuality for about a year now. Questioning your sexuality is totally normal and completely part of the process. (But it can still be a pain in the butt for anyone, especially for those of us who are forever anxious!)  It is important to remember that it is perfectly okay to try out different labels until you find one that you are comfortable with. Gender and sexuality are fluid things that change over time. There is no shame in identifying one way and feeling a different way later. If you feel most comfortable with asexuality right now then feel free to use that label. Just remember that asexuality is a spectrum and that no one will hold changing labels is against you. Also, there is no “right” time to label yourself. Sooo.. there is no reason to feel pressured.  I hope this helps! 

P.S. Have some cake 🎂🍰

[soso-onbroadway]

Hello people! I’m new here. I’m 14 years old, asexual panromantic, and I have no freaking clue about my gender. I think I prefer they/them pronouns and I like the nickname SoSo because it’s more gender neutral. I love musical theater/broadway, reading, and writing.

 

...and cake. I like cake

[elanlb]

Welcome @sophiaonbroadway! It's always great to have new people here. Cake is yum... here's some gluten free cake so that I can have a bite too. Or if you want to eat the whole thing that works too.

 

Spoiler

[soso-onbroadway]

@elanlb thanks! How about we split the cake 50/50?

[HolyShrimp]

Hello,

I've been questioning recipromanticisim, I was wondering if anyone could give more info on it or something? I know like what it is (precisely why i'm questioning it) but i don't know how i would know for sure. At the moment as far as i know nobody likes me or anything so it would be kinda hard to tell...?

[Guest xAveryx]

Hi guys,

i've been on aven for half a year I think and I wander between excepting I'm ace and wondering why I'm still not like other aces. (Note that I like to label myself and it just gives me some kind of peace knowing that I'm not the odd one out..)

 

I'm 19 right now and have had sex a few times. I never enjoyed it or felt anything, not digust nor pleasure. I don't mind watching movies with sex, sex jokes or any stories about sex, I'm pretty sex favorable. I don't think that I experience sexual attraction but I think I experience desire in the case that I like the thought of having sex and want to have sex with people, but if i try it, it doesn't work with my body.

 

Don't know why I still think about it since there doesn't seem to be people with similar experiences, so don't mind me, but i just get frustrated sometimes because now that I kind of fit into a "group", I still stand out and am the odd one out..

[sephii]

Hello everyone! I'm new to AVEN -- I'm a birom ace who has identified as such for about half a year now!

[sephii]

On 7/6/2020 at 2:41 AM, iyote said:

Personally I figured out I was asexual at 14, although I didn't come out to anyone until I was 17 (I'm now 18 and still hella ace).  I was pretty sure I was ace the entire time, and I self-identified as such internally, but I a) didn't want to deal with "you're too young" or "that'll change" comments and b) was aware that being a late-bloomer was a possibility.  So I just said I "wasn't sure" what my sexuality was if anyone asked, at least until I reached my later teens and became a bit more confident in saying "I'm asexual" out loud.  

Honestly, I'm not sure as to what age most people first experience sexual attraction, but I've heard that most people do know their orientation by 13/14, and based on age of consent laws, I assume that almost every allosexual first experiences sexual attraction before the 16-18 age range.  

Same here (except I AM 14). The "that'll change" and "you're too young" comments stress me out too haha

[QuirkyGeek]

8 hours ago, xAveryx said:

Hi guys,

i've been on aven for half a year I think and I wander between excepting I'm ace and wondering why I'm still not like other aces. (Note that I like to label myself and it just gives me some kind of peace knowing that I'm not the odd one out..)

 

I'm 19 right now and have had sex a few times. I never enjoyed it or felt anything, not digust nor pleasure. I don't mind watching movies with sex, sex jokes or any stories about sex, I'm pretty sex favorable. I don't think that I experience sexual attraction but I think I experience desire in the case that I like the thought of having sex and want to have sex with people, but if i try it, it doesn't work with my body.

 

Don't know why I still think about it since there doesn't seem to be people with similar experiences, so don't mind me, but i just get frustrated sometimes because now that I kind of fit into a "group", I still stand out and am the odd one out..

If you don't experience sexual attraction, you are asexual. Asexuals are different and some have different feelings in regards to sex. While a lot of aces are either sex-repulsed or sex-averse, there are some that are sex-indifferent or sex-favourable as well and that's valid. There are quite a few asexuals who don't mind or enjoy sex in movies and stuff and lots that like hearing or even make sex jokes. It doesn't mean they aren't asexual.

[Miss_Bookworm]

On 7/20/2020 at 12:20 PM, sephii said:

Hello everyone! I'm new to AVEN -- I'm a birom ace who has identified as such for about half a year now!

Hello!!

[LazyCheetah]

Hi everyone! 

I'm back. I've made a few posts here about how I don't actually fall in love easily and thought I'm demi and recipro. 

 

Now I wonder if I'm not ace. I still don't believe that I am, but I'm different compared to my peers.

 

All my friends are very horny and interested in sex. They admitted they can get turned on by someone else, even in school. The sole thought of that is unbelievable to me. I like imagining sex, but when I see a real person I get repulsed by any sexual thoughts about them. 

 

I had a crush once. I enjoyed cuddling with him, but when I made out with him I felt nothing at all. It was weird. I thought I was too shocked by the intimacy, but shouldn't I have enjoyed it if I I liked cuddling? I may just be a late bloomer, but I honestly don't know anymore. I'm 17.

 

My crushes are also different compared to others. I experience the same worries and excitements but my reactions to actual romantic gestures seem more muffled and less intense than they should. Also I get genuinely jittery and excited by the gesture, but when its obvious and I don't have to guess it anymore it's just... Calm. Satisfying, but without any butterflies or electric reactions or anything.

 

 

 

Edited July 23, 2020 by LazyCheetah

[Guilli Milli Mu]

On 7/22/2020 at 10:15 PM, LazyCheetah said:

Hi everyone! 

I'm back. I've made a few posts here about how I don't actually fall in love easily and thought I'm demi and recipro. 

 

Now I wonder if I'm not ace. I still don't believe that I am, but I'm different compared to my peers.

 

All my friends are very horny and interested in sex. They admitted they can get turned on by someone else, even in school. The sole thought of that is unbelievable to me. I like imagining sex, but when I see a real person I get repulsed by any sexual thoughts about them. 

 

I had a crush once. I enjoyed cuddling with him, but when I made out with him I felt nothing at all. It was weird. I thought I was too shocked by the intimacy, but shouldn't I have enjoyed it if I I liked cuddling? I may just be a late bloomer, but I honestly don't know anymore. I'm 17.

 

My crushes are also different compared to others. I experience the same worries and excitements but my reactions to actual romantic gestures seem more muffled and less intense than they should. Also I get genuinely jittery and excited by the gesture, but when its obvious and I don't have to guess it anymore it's just... Calm. Satisfying, but without any butterflies or electric reactions or anything.

 

 

 

Maybe you could search about sensual attraction. It's not really popular and people usually put together with sexual attraction, but they are not the same thing. Sensual attraction is about the desire for physical contact (including cuddling) with a specific person but not necessarily the desire of sex contact. That could explain your experience, but is up to you to know if makes sense to you or if what I said there's nothing to do with, lol.

[Gold3nheart]

Does anyone else really want school to start again, even though they know it’s dangerous right now? Being isolated for so long is starting to really take a toll on my mental health.

[grez]

yeah i'm really jealous of people in countries such as new Zealand where there are no active cases. I'm in the UK and love basketball and sports like it aren't going to be happening for a while

[Shanjace]

I'm in new zealand and im incredibly grateful that we went back to school after only 2 months of lockdown (Ithink it was two months i cant remember). Two months was hard enough i hope you lovelies are doing ok and can get going again soon cause online school was a bitch

[Miss_Bookworm]

18 hours ago, Gold3nheart said:

Does anyone else really want school to start again, even though they know it’s dangerous right now? Being isolated for so long is starting to really take a toll on my mental health.

Literally me.

Like I know it's not at all the best decision and I know that if we really needed to, my district would go online fully, but I'm choosing to go back to school in person. The state governor has stated that its up to the districts on whether students are all online, hybrid, or given the option to go back fully. 

I live in the US and thankfully there haven't been a ton of cases of COVID-19 in my area, so my parents think its a good idea for me to go back. I've also been working as a cashier during the quarantine, so wearing a mask honestly doesn't bother me anymore😅

[Ella Joy]

My district IS going online fully, at least for a couple of months, and I just... I get it, and I'm hoping in the long run it'll be the best choice to get things going for real in the second half of the year, but it still feels disappointing. 

 

I'm also bracing myself for missing all my senior year events, so there's that.

[Artemis42]

On 7/30/2020 at 5:31 PM, Gold3nheart said:

Does anyone else really want school to start again, even though they know it’s dangerous right now? Being isolated for so long is starting to really take a toll on my mental health.

I'm the opposite lol. I’m going back to school in the fall and the idea is terrifying to me even though my school has taken safety precautions. Honestly I think my mental health would suffer either way, but at least with online schooling I wouldn’t worry about my physical well-being and the physical well-being of my family and friends. 

There haven’t been any COVID cases in my town but I’m afraid we’ll start getting some when school starts up again.

[Liana]

Starting college soon, so many people that I won’t ever see again. In some ways it’s a good thing and in some ways it is a bad thing.

[will123]

2 minutes ago, Darth Plagueis the Wise said:

Starting college soon, so many people that I won’t ever see again. In some ways it’s a good thing and in some ways it is a bad thing.

At least nowadays there are more methods to keep in touch with friends. I graduated in '79 and wish there were people I could've stayed in touch with.

 

[Liana]

Just now, will123 said:

At least nowadays there are more methods to keep in touch with friends. I graduated in '79 and wish there were people I could've stayed in touch with.

 

My school was massive (over 1,000 people per grade). I have ways of communicating with most of my friends, but not all of them. March was just awful for me and I didn’t communicate with some of my friends while I still had the chance.

[will123]

1 minute ago, Darth Plagueis the Wise said:

My school was massive (over 1,000 people per grade). I have ways of communicating with most of my friends, but not all of them. March was just awful for me and I didn’t communicate with some of my friends while I still had the chance.

That's a big school. I think mine was around 1600 for five grades (Ontario still had five grades). Most people finished after Grade 12 and went to work or community college). Uni' students went to 13. 

[Liana]

1 minute ago, will123 said:

That's a big school. I think mine was around 1600 for five grades (Ontario still had five grades). Most people finished after Grade 12 and went to work or community college). Uni' students went to 13. 

My school was 4x that.

 

A few of my friends are going to the same college as me or to a nearby community college. One friend is currently in the National Guard.

[LazyCheetah]

Probably gonna start school in September normally. I'm worried though, cases of corona in my country have been shooting up recently. I doubt it will calm down in a month. I hate online school but I don't want to contract the virus, and I have to travel in a crowded bus, so there's that too. 

[Shanjace]

On 7/31/2020 at 11:08 PM, Shanjace said:

I'm in new zealand and im incredibly grateful that we went back to school after only 2 months of lockdown (Ithink it was two months i cant remember). Two months was hard enough i hope you lovelies are doing ok and can get going again soon cause online school was a bitch

Guess i spoke too soon

my city is going back into lockdown for 3 days (It will most likely be longer than 3 days) so I cant go to school and i dont have any of my books with me cause theyre all in my locker.

 

Hello again, online learning *cough*you bitch*cough

[QuirkyGeek]

I'm really excited for school to start again. I'm really lucky that I don't have very many cases in my area so hopefully we keep the region under control and it doesn't start spreading and we don't have to go back into lockdown.

[HolyShrimp]

The government here keeps rejecting the school plans😕 no idea what’s happening with my school, they’re saying it might be a month delayed

[Finch Koala]

Minnesota is letting each school district make their own decision for the school layout for this year. My district is planning hybrid learning, I'd go to school 2 days a week with half of the students and have distance learning the other 3 days. I'm so excited to go back!! I might be an introvert but I need my weekly dose of people.