Teen Corner

[Guest xAveryx]

11 hours ago, biromaniac said:

Aw man any of you guys ever drink water and then get that big wave of depression and 'no one will ever date you because you're asexual' feels?

Or is that just me and my angsty little existence lol?

yeah totally. Especially because I also have commitment phobia. So I feel like the probability to meet someone I can open up to AND be in a committed relationship with them is so fucking low..

[LiveLaugh(Love?)]

18 hours ago, biromaniac said:

Aw man any of you guys ever drink water and then get that big wave of depression and 'no one will ever date you because you're asexual' feels?

Or is that just me and my angsty little existence lol?

Oh definitely. Especially since my sister is overly interested in relationships, particularly my love life. I'm just trying to be happy on my own I guess.

[A.Ham]

Hi! I'm new to AVEN, but I was happy to find this "Teen Corner" forum since it made me smile to think about all of the other people who are my age and understand/relate to my identity. As for the water thing, yes I do think that sometimes and get sad for a while until I remember I don't actually want someone to date me and then I drink more water and the cycle starts all over again...

[Artemis42]

On 5/15/2020 at 12:40 AM, biromaniac said:

Aw man any of you guys ever drink water and then get that big wave of depression and 'no one will ever date you because you're asexual' feels?

Or is that just me and my angsty little existence lol?

I'm not really interested in dating right now, and I'm lucky enough that my family doesn't pressure me about relationships. But I think about finding someone who I'd want as a partner in the future, and then I do think about how my being ace would affect things. It would probably be complicated lol. Hopefully, if the other person really loved me back, we would be able to figure things out so we'd both be happy.

[feeby]

On 5/15/2020 at 9:19 AM, elanlb said:

Yep. I can always remind myself though that I'd never want to be in a sexual relationship. Still feels bad to know that the majority and I are completely uninterested in each other.

Hoooooooo boy I feel that. I think the romantic side of my brain overcompensates for the lack of sexual interest and so I want to enter a romantic relationship with whoever crosses my path. ;(

[feeby]

7 hours ago, Artemis42 said:

I'm not really interested in dating right now, and I'm lucky enough that my family doesn't pressure me about relationships. But I think about finding someone who I'd want as a partner in the future, and then I do think about how my being ace would affect things. It would probably be complicated lol. Hopefully, if the other person really loved me back, we would be able to figure things out so we'd both be happy.

Thats rad! I hope things work out however they need to for you :))) 

[mexicanpotato]

I feel like I would love a romantic not so romantic more like platonic relationship with someone in the future but something inside me tells me I won't find someone interested in that

[A.Ham]

1 hour ago, mexicanpotato said:

I feel like I would love a romantic not so romantic more like platonic relationship with someone in the future but something inside me tells me I won't find someone interested in that

Yes! That’s exactly what I’ve wanted for the longest time, only just recently I realized it was actually a real thing, but I agree with feeling like it won’t ever happen 😕

Edited May 17, 2020 by A.Ham

[ShrimpyShiro]

I don't mean to, uhh, interrupt your conversation, but hi all! I noticed this thread a while back, but I'm only actually properly joining it now.

So hello! I am teen! I am very teen!

[ShrimpyShiro]

I'm doing fine, I guess. I miss my friends...

[feeby]

1 hour ago, ShrimpyShiro said:

I don't mean to, uhh, interrupt your conversation, but hi all! I noticed this thread a while back, but I'm only actually properly joining it now.

So hello! I am teen! I am very teen!

hiya!

[LiveLaugh(Love?)]

13 hours ago, ShrimpyShiro said:

I'm doing fine, I guess. I miss my friends...

Agreed!

 

Also, I've started slowly adding some rainbow things to my room and wardrobe! My sister's reaction: 'haha, it's like you're gay'. Which was a little disappointing to be honest, although about what I expected. She seems to think I'm lesbian because I don't seem interested in dating. *Sigh* I wish asexuality was as visible as other sexualities.

[elanlb]

1 minute ago, LiveLaugh(Love?) said:

She seems to think I'm lesbian because I don't seem interested in dating.

What. Ok.

My parents won't stop asking me if I'm actually dating instead of just hanging out with a biologically female friend. The friend actually identifies as male but hasn't told their parents. It's just an unusual situation.

[LiveLaugh(Love?)]

5 hours ago, elanlb said:

What. Ok.

My parents won't stop asking me if I'm actually dating instead of just hanging out with a biologically female friend. The friend actually identifies as male but hasn't told their parents. It's just an unusual situation.

Yeah, it seems like lots of interesting situations happen when people aren't out yet. It also complicates things when someone involved is ace, just because most people aren't aware that asexuality is a thing.

[•◡•]

Oh gosh I missed a lot. Hi @PhoneAddiction, @ItsAlwaysPrideDay, @A.Ham and @ShrimpyShiro. Welcome to the teen corner. I hope you like it here.

 

Hey look it's some cake:

 

[EllyAlex]

On 5/15/2020 at 8:40 AM, biromaniac said:

Aw man any of you guys ever drink water and then get that big wave of depression and 'no one will ever date you because you're asexual' feels?

Or is that just me and my angsty little existence lol?

Yes, but after I ask myself do I even want that, I begin a long debate about it with myself and always come to the conclusion that I don't know so every time there is still enough left to talk about the next time a moment like that comes. I wonder if I'll ever convince me that I'm right? 

[Miranda Keening]

Parents are strange, most definitely. I do the same...I wonder if this is a phase and if I’ll “bloom” later. I mean, I went through puberty a few years ago so shouldn’t I have “bloomed” already? I don’t know. Asexual seems like a fitting title for me because I don’t understand love, or attraction, really. Oh, I want a relationship but I doubt I could maintain it. I don’t want sex...it’s disgusting to me actually. But at the same time, if I can’t even figure out what ‘love’ is, then how do I even stand a chance? Well, thanks for reading! Sorry for the ramble fest by the way, it’s just that I’ve never actually said this to anyone but my best friend. It’s strange, admitting I’m weird like this. Or maybe I am normal. I don’t know. Er, yeah, ¡adíos! 

Edited May 25, 2020 by Miranda Keening

[Carbon-12]

@Miranda Keening

Hi there! First off, you're not "weird" for not wanting a relationship. Plenty of folks, are like that, including a ton of aro/aces and even some alloromantics/allosexuals. All depends on the individual, y'know? 

And in regards to the "late bloomer" thing, sometimes I wonder the same. But here's the thing; labels are labels, not boxes. If, in some years, it turns out you're not asexual ("late bloomer")- that's completely alright! The label asexual still applied to you for all the years you used it, be it 2 or 20. And if you live and die never experiencing sexual attraction, there you have it; the asexual label served you for however long your lifespan was. Both outcomes are equally valid.

I think I can relate to you on some aspects. I've never "fallen in love" or anything like that- maybe a few superficial crushes here or there, no substance at all. Tbh looking back, I think I just wanted to be friends with them. I might try to look for a relationship in university, but it'd have to be strictly romantic, no sex involved. Just not my cup of tea. The problem is the chances that I'll find both someone who's also asexual and someone I actually like are so slim ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Rosa-m]

On 5/15/2020 at 7:40 AM, biromaniac said:

Aw man any of you guys ever drink water and then get that big wave of depression and 'no one will ever date you because you're asexual' feels?

Or is that just me and my angsty little existence lol?

yEs i know you said this a few days ago but i get you lol, and like you just want a cool girl or guy to be super close with and do cute things with but it feels like it will never happen because everyone is so obsessed with doing the sex  ಠ_ಠ

[Miranda Keening]

21 hours ago, Carbon-12 said:

@Miranda Keening

Hi there! First off, you're not "weird" for not wanting a relationship. Plenty of folks, are like that, including a ton of aro/aces and even some alloromantics/allosexuals. All depends on the individual, y'know? 

And in regards to the "late bloomer" thing, sometimes I wonder the same. But here's the thing; labels are labels, not boxes. If, in some years, it turns out you're not asexual ("late bloomer")- that's completely alright! The label asexual still applied to you for all the years you used it, be it 2 or 20. And if you live and die never experiencing sexual attraction, there you have it; the asexual label served you for however long your lifespan was. Both outcomes are equally valid.

I think I can relate to you on some aspects. I've never "fallen in love" or anything like that- maybe a few superficial crushes here or there, no substance at all. Tbh looking back, I think I just wanted to be friends with them. I might try to look for a relationship in university, but it'd have to be strictly romantic, no sex involved. Just not my cup of tea. The problem is the chances that I'll find both someone who's also asexual and someone I actually like are so slim ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This post really made me feel good actually. This community is already seeming nice. Thank you! It’s just hard to come out of that box. I live in a small town, bigoted, eek place and boxes are kind of a big thing, especially in the old school I went too. Better or maybe worse, I’ve been in virtual school for a year so I don’t have to deal with those people. However, that doesn’t stop the adults being Eck. My mom and grandmother are epic though. My little brother is bisexual, he thinks so anyway, and she said she’d support him. He didn’t come out then...but in a few years he will  I’m happy for him. Siblings are more than annoying pests XD Anyway, I ramble too much.
 

But how do you know if the crushes are real or superficial? I can’t figure that out. I’ve had two relationships over the course of my existence so far and I think the last one was real? But I don’t know. 
 

Ah. That sounds great, and sweet. Not my thing either. Yeah...but hopefully it’ll happen  

[Miranda Keening]

41 minutes ago, Rosa-m said:

yEs i know you said this a few days ago but i get you lol, and like you just want a cool girl or guy to be super close with and do cute things with but it feels like it will never happen because everyone is so obsessed with doing the sex  ಠ_ಠ

Yep I am the same. Yeah...sex is gross 2_2

[Carbon-12]

@Miranda Keening 

Happy to help! Sorry to hear that the area you live in isn't as accepting, though. It can't be fun trying to fit into a box But it's really neat that your mother and grandmother are cool about it! And yeah, siblings are totally pests but they're great to talk to every now and then, lol.

How do I know that my crushes are superficial?  Considering you've been in relationships before, I personally think you're much better equipped to answer that question than me! But I guess I can share my thought process, at least. 

The only reason I label my feelings as a crush to begin with is because I get this weird, inexplicable urge to get to know the person better. (It's not a feeling I get with friends- I love my friends and all, and I want to hang out with them, but it's not quite the same.) And when I talk about that person to a friend I act differently- it's odd, I don't even realize I acted differently until after the fact. And yeah, I think the person's cute and that they have some redeeming personality traits (loyalty, honesty, intelligence, etc). But the thing is- I call it superficial because I can't imagine actually dating these people or doing any traditionally romantic things- things like hour long chats over dinner, going to the movies, kissing, etc. I'm also not even close friends with them- we're like, acquaintances/circumstantial friends at most. You know that saying, "more than friends but less than lovers"? (I mean, I have some problems with that saying because it implies that all friendships are inherently less than romances, but that's a topic for another day lol) It's kind of like that. I want to know them better than I would a regular friend, but I don't want a romantic relationship with them either.

Oh my, that turned into a much longer paragraph than expected. Ah well. oh and take everything I said with a huge grain of salt. I am but a singular data point, and we are different people. I really do think you'd have a better shot at understanding what's a "real" crush (or maybe just a traditional crush) and one that's not! Now I'm curious, too- what, for you at least, defines real crushes? no pressure to answer ofc, just now that I've got around to thinking about it I'd love others' opinions!

[Miranda Keening]

@Carbon-12

 

Yeah...it’s not the best places in terms of LGBT+, but it’s definitely not the worst place to live I suppose. Yes, my mom and grandmother are awesome! They’re really great. My dad and stepmom are awesome as well, but because they aren’t accepting (I am NOT coming out until wayyyy later) it’s a bit difficult. Especially because I just want to squeal and set my little brother up with some guys but I can’t. Plus, it’s his choice whenever he decides to come out and I need to remember that. It would be hard to find any gay, bi, or pan kids here anyway. We’re the minority. Haha yes they are. 
 

I wouldn’t count on that. The first relationship I had I don’t exactly know why I “liked” the guy. There was no “Ooo you’re hot” or, “You’re smart so I like that.” I think it was maybe just because he took an interest in me? Honestly, I don’t know how to describe it. My second relationship I can define better but I’m still on the rocks about it as well, now that I think about it. I can sympathize with acting different; I see myself doing that around friends sometimes. I acted I guess like a girl would to her girlfriend with my friends? I don’t know. It wasn’t flirting...but later I thought about it and it maybe could have been identified as much. Though that wasn’t what I wanted to do. It’s strange. I over think a lot of situations and conversations, so maybe it’s just that but I don’t know. 
 

Hm. That’s interesting to me, simply because I’m the opposite. I can and do envision dating “crushes” but I don’t really think about kissing or anything beyond that. If I do, it’s mostly scientific, you know? That one is hard to describe too because most people stare at me like I’m an idiot when I bring it up. Uh, so it’s basically like I see it in a story I could write, (I imagine storylines and scenes a lot) but I don’t see it happening to me. Does that make sense? Apologies if it doesn’t, it is hard to explain. 
 

I don’t know what defines a crush, really. It just...happens I guess? I want to spend time with them, talk a lot, and I enjoy being around them or texting or whatever. I don’t understand how someone is hot though. Oh sure, I can look at a person and think they’re cute but again, it’s more scientific. It doesn’t make me feel anything, or want to kiss them or anything, it’s just a label I guess. I don’t know what love is either (besides like family love. That makes sense) but that is another conversation. 
 

Hope this helps  And thank you for replying! 

[PinkMoon]

Sorry for interrupting the conversation, but Hi I'm new here!

Also @Carbon-12 I think my definition of "real" crush is similar to yours but just with a little more of the "traditional" romantic things. Like I really want to hang out with them and get to know them, because I really like their personality, and also want them to like me as a person too. Judging by the fact that my friends don't realize when I had a crush, I don't think I actually act differently, but I do feel like I am. I think where I differ is the fact that I'm down for more PG romantic things, like yes I'd like to watch a movie with them and go to events and such with them, because I want to hang out with them.  But I think that's about as far as I'll go, things like kisses and such I honestly can't even imagine. But also I've had like one crush, so take it with a grain of salt. 

[A.Ham]

@Carbon-12, I've had one "crush" in my life on a guy I went to middle school with, and at the time I thought it was a pretty intense traditional crush. However, looking back on it, I think now that what I thought were romantic feelings was the desire to have a close platonic friend, especially since he was male and I didn't have a good boy          friend (NOT boyfriend) at the time. That was also during a time when I was struggling to make friends in high school, so I think it was a bit of just wanting companionship. Basically, the one crush I've had I believe was the desire to be friends, spend a lot of time with someone I knew was nice, and have a friend to talk to.  

 

Also, hi @PinkMoon! Welcome to AVEN! 

[Miss_Bookworm]

Hey guys! I know it's been a hot second since I've been on here but I recently found out about a horrid movement that's supposedly going on during Pride Month. It's called 'Operation Pridefall'. Basically its going to be a bunch of cyberattacks on people who are LGBTQIA+ or allies mostly on Twitter from what I've gathered but a lot of people have been suggesting to watch out on other popular social media sites such as Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, etc. 

 

I just wanted to let everyone know as I've been sending this info out to as many people as I can. I also figured since this was the Teen Corner that a lot of you would be on social media sites.

 

Hope everyone is staying safe during these horrible times and please watch out for this stuff! 

 

Here are some more links to learn more about what the whole things is and how you can stay safe! https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2020/05/26/4chan-alt-right-operation-pridefall-pride-month-cyber-attack-starbucks-amazon-homophobia/

 

[Carbon-12]

@Miranda Keening

Glad to hear that you have some supportive folks on your side, even if your dad and stepmom aren't accepting. And it's great that you're looking out for your brother! My sister doesn't use labels, just tells me she doesn't like anyone, which from my point of view looks to be true. I go to a pretty LGBTQ+ friendly school- I'd estimate maybe 3-5% aren't straight? Come to think of it, I genuinely have no idea- there's probably a lot of closeted folks or people who just don't talk about their sexuality. 

I really appreciate your detailed response! It's neat to read about another ace teen's experiences ^^

 

@PinkMoon

hey, welcome to AVEN! It seems like our definitions of a crush are pretty similiar- I also think I act differently, but I'm not sure if others can tell. I don't know if my friends are being nice and not bringing it up, or if they just plain don't notice lol

 

@A.Ham

That's interesting! Now that I look back at older crushes, I do think they were largely platonic and not as romantic I had previously thought.

 

@Miss_Bookworm

what??? That's awful. Thanks for the heads up though- will keep an eye out for it. 

 

 

[Skycaptain]

Just to let everyone know that AVEN staff are aware of the Pridefall situation. If anyone finds anything suspicious on forum please report it, and be wary of clicking on links. 

[Janus the Fox]

No more Pridefall spam, I’m pretty aware of this and I’m following it on Reddit at the moment.  The less mention of it, less stress for the more sensitive.  At the moment AVEN is safe, report anything that resembles hateful content as normal

[Miranda Keening]

@Miss_Bookworm

 

As a person who isn’t on social media, I’m really glad you told us. I wouldn’t know it without it so thank you. I’ll be texting my other friends in the community about this, though I suspect they already know. Um, but what does the 88 thing mean?