Jump to content
ToS // Contact Info // AVEN Fundraiser and Volunteering

Teen Corner

will123

By will123,
in Asexual Musings and Rantings

 Share Followers 428
LeChat
Message added by LeChat,

Hi, there, everyone.

 

Let's all, please, remember the TOS about being respectful towards other members, each others' different viewpoints, etc. without swearing at each other, vigilante modding (i.e. ordering other members around), etc.

 

Just a friendly reminder that if there is/are a post(s) that concern you, that the TOS mentions notifying Admods for help through PM or AVEN's report system.

 

Thank you.

 

LeChat,

Welcome Lounge, Announcements, and Alternate Language moderator

Recommended Posts

Hayis4horses

Hayis4horses

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, Omi said:

Does anyone else question wether they are asexual because they’ve never been in a relationship?

I kinda wonder what is my romantic orientation because I have never been in a relationship. But, not my sexuality. I just mainly think what if I become sexual later, then I would be lying about being ace this whole time. That is why I usually say that I am probably asexual.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Readhead

Readhead

Posted
Posted
13 hours ago, Omi said:

I have a mini question, 

 

Does anyone else question wether they are asexual because they’ve never been in a relationship? Like I have never been one to need a relationship and those around have become oriented on relationships and all that stuff (ps I just finished grade 12 so I’m old 😂). But I don’t, sometimes I wonder if I have assumed I’m asexual as an excuse but then at  the same time I know that I don’t see relationships and guys in that way (or anyone for that matter 😂)  

 

 

Yes! I feel like I might be demisexual, but then again I'm not sure cause I've never had a close bond to a person in that way. I don't know how I would feel if I got this close bond to someone though. This is so confusing!

Link to post
Share on other sites
Readhead

Readhead

Posted
Posted

Have anyone else really shipped two persons in a book/movie/show but than as soon as they start making out and officially becomes a couple you just can't stand them together anymore!? 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
EmeraldAce

EmeraldAce

Posted
Posted
On ‎12‎/‎2‎/‎2018 at 1:19 AM, Coddiwomple said:

I don't mind at all! Here's the definition from Asexuals Wikia: "[Autochorissexuality] is a subset of asexuality which is defined as: a disconnection between oneself and a sexual target/object of arousal; may involve sexual fantasies or arousal in response to erotica or pornography, but lacking any desire to be a participant in the sexual activities therein." In other words, an asexual person who has a libido and may have sexual fantasies and such, but doesn't actually want to have sex with anyone. I hope that clears it up!

Wow this describes me perfectly.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Mx. Who

Mx. Who

Posted
Posted

Guys........

I think I might be a biromantic asexual.

But my family's Catholic.

And they don't even accept me being asexual.

I don't know what to do.

Please help.

It's hard to tell whether I like the girl or not because I was raised Catholic, so....

HELP

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
no-longer-in-use

no-longer-in-use

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, Miss Who said:

Guys........

I think I might be a biromantic asexual.

 But my family's Catholic.

 And they don't even accept me being asexual.

 I don't know what to do.

Please help.

It's hard to tell whether I like the girl or not because I was raised Catholic, so....

HELP

Breathe, you'll be okay. I relate, I couldn't tell if I had a crush on a girl or not either the first time it happened. Not to freak you out, but if you're questioning whether you're attracted to females, you probably are. What are your crush symptoms? Maybe I can help you figure out whether it's a crush or not.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
Mx. Who

Mx. Who

Posted
Posted
20 minutes ago, Coddiwomple said:

Breathe, you'll be okay. I relate, I couldn't tell if I had a crush on a girl or not either the first time it happened. Not to freak you out, but if you're questioning whether you're attracted to females, you probably are. What are your crush symptoms? Maybe I can help you figure out whether it's a crush or not.

I just kinda want to be around her and I care about what she thinks and I want to hold her hand.

.......

I am biromantic, aren't I?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
no-longer-in-use

no-longer-in-use

Posted
Posted
8 minutes ago, Miss Who said:

I just kinda want to be around her and I care about what she thinks and I want to hold her hand.

.......

I am biromantic, aren't I?

Okay but here's a biggie: do you want to date her? Picture yourself on a date with her. Does it seem appealing, or uncomfortable? That's what will distinguish a crush from another type of attraction.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Mx. Who

Mx. Who

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Coddiwomple said:

Okay but here's a biggie: do you want to date her? Picture yourself on a date with her. Does it seem appealing, or uncomfortable? That's what will distinguish a crush from another type of attraction.

If she was biromantic (she's straight) and my parents and family would accept it, being on a date with her sounds nice

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
no-longer-in-use

no-longer-in-use

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Miss Who said:

If she was biromantic (she's straight) and my parents and family would accept it, being on a date with her sounds nice

So hypothetically, if there wouldn't be a problem with your family or anything, and she wanted to date you, you would want to date her? (just want to make sure I'm getting this right)

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Mx. Who

Mx. Who

Posted
Posted
6 minutes ago, Coddiwomple said:

So hypothetically, if there wouldn't be a problem with your family or anything, and she wanted to date you, you would want to date her? (just want to make sure I'm getting this right)

Disregarding my insecurities, yeah

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
no-longer-in-use

no-longer-in-use

Posted
Posted
8 minutes ago, Miss Who said:

Disregarding my insecurities, yeah

Well, it sounds like a crush to me, meaning you are probably biromantic/panromantic/something along those lines.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
EmeraldAce

EmeraldAce

Posted
Posted
On ‎12‎/‎6‎/‎2018 at 3:44 PM, Miss Who said:

Guys........

I think I might be a biromantic asexual.

But my family's Catholic.

And they don't even accept me being asexual.

I don't know what to do.

Please help.

It's hard to tell whether I like the girl or not because I was raised Catholic, so....

HELP

You should be proud of who you are, and they should love you no matter what. But before you tell them think a little about if you actually are biromantic, you don't want to tell them just for you to realise you aren't, they'd be really confused.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
no-longer-in-use

no-longer-in-use

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, EmeraldAce said:

You should be proud of who you are, and they should love you no matter what. But before you tell them think a little about if you actually are biromantic, you don't want to tell them just for you to realise you aren't, they'd be really confused.

Yeah, that being said, it's fine if you are sure you're one identity, come out as such, and then later you realize you're actually something else. That happened to me, I came out as queer (tentatively biromantic and questioning my sexuality) and later realized I was actually panromantic and asexual. But I would say wait until you've come out to yourself to come out to others.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Forest Emerald19

Forest Emerald19

Posted
Posted

Hello! I just joined AVEN and I tentatively think I'm ace and aro, but I'm not super sure yet.  Since you guys were talking about romantic preferences, I was wondering how you would differentiate between close friends and dating someone in a purely romantic relationship?  I mean the general answer I get is that you want to kiss the person you are dating and wouldn't want to kiss a friend, but I don't want to kiss anyone.  Then they say it just feels different which is kind of unhelpful.  Is it really just a feeling that aromantic people don't get?  Or is there something else to it?

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
no-longer-in-use

no-longer-in-use

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, Forest Emerald19 said:

Hello! I just joined AVEN and I tentatively think I'm ace and aro, but I'm not super sure yet.  Since you guys were talking about romantic preferences, I was wondering how you would differentiate between close friends and dating someone in a purely romantic relationship?  I mean the general answer I get is that you want to kiss the person you are dating and wouldn't want to kiss a friend, but I don't want to kiss anyone.  Then they say it just feels different which is kind of unhelpful.  Is it really just a feeling that aromantic people don't get?  Or is there something else to it?

Welcome to AVEN!

 

For me, the difference between romantic and platonic attraction is with a romantic crush, I want to date the person I'm attracted to. I sometimes also experience sensual attraction for the subjects of my crushes (e.g. wanting to kiss them, hug them, cuddle with them, or hold their hand), but the biggie for me is the actual romantic attraction, which manifests as constantly wanting to be around the person, feeling giddy when I'm around them, and having epic romantic fantasies about us. With a platonic crush (or "squish"), I also want to be around the person a lot, but when I picture dating them, it feels awkward and wrong. That's how I differentiate between romantic and platonic attraction.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Forest Emerald19

Forest Emerald19

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Coddiwomple said:

Welcome to AVEN!

 

For me, the difference between romantic and platonic attraction is with a romantic crush, I want to date the person I'm attracted to. I sometimes also experience sensual attraction for the subjects of my crushes (e.g. wanting to kiss them, hug them, cuddle with them, or hold their hand), but the biggie for me is the actual romantic attraction, which manifests as constantly wanting to be around the person, feeling giddy when I'm around them, and having epic romantic fantasies about us. With a platonic crush (or "squish"), I also want to be around the person a lot, but when I picture dating them, it feels awkward and wrong. That's how I differentiate between romantic and platonic attraction.

That's actually super helpful!  Thank you! 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Colonel Aureliano Buendía

Colonel Aureliano Buendía

Posted
Posted

I've thought for a while that it'd be hilarious to get married after I move out to a friend who my family doesn't know, then bring them to some big family gathering, and be like "Oh, have you met my spouse?" and then when everyone is shocked, I'd add "Oh, we're just friends." and confuse my whole extended family to death.

I told my mother this today, and she did seem to think it would be very funny. I reassured her that I wouldn't get married just for a practical joke. I'd only do something that important to help someone get citizenship or for tax reasons.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
Athena32

Athena32

Posted
Posted
On 12/5/2018 at 5:01 PM, Omi said:

Does anyone else question wether they are asexual because they’ve never been in a relationship? Like I have never been one to need a relationship and those around have become oriented on relationships and all that stuff (ps I just finished grade 12 so I’m old 😂). But I don’t, sometimes I wonder if I have assumed I’m asexual as an excuse but then at  the same time I know that I don’t see relationships and guys in that way (or anyone for that matter 😂)  

I used to question myself until I had my first boyfriend and realized- it doesn't make much of a difference. I once heard the phrase "asexuality is about attraction, not action," and I really like it, because it makes it clear that you can date or not date and it has not bearing on your orientation. From what I hear from non-ace people, sexual attraction is a constant sort of thing, and experiencing it isn't constrained to just in a relationship. (Also, even if one of us experience sexual attraction somewhere down the road, chances are we're still on the asexual spectrum, probably somewhere in the gray-a or demi families.)

 

@Miss Who, congratulations! I found this amazing cake for you, but I guess I must be bi-aced. 

 Df6VAiIWkAAhYpw.jpg

 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
234

234

Posted
Posted
On 12/8/2018 at 7:14 AM, Forest Emerald19 said:

Hello! I just joined AVEN and I tentatively think I'm ace and aro, but I'm not super sure yet.  Since you guys were talking about romantic preferences, I was wondering how you would differentiate between close friends and dating someone in a purely romantic relationship?  I mean the general answer I get is that you want to kiss the person you are dating and wouldn't want to kiss a friend, but I don't want to kiss anyone.  Then they say it just feels different which is kind of unhelpful.  Is it really just a feeling that aromantic people don't get?  Or is there something else to it?

Hi, and welcome to AVEN!

Image result for hummingbird decorated cake

As for what it is like being aromantic, my understanding is that for at least some people they don't necessarily experience romantic attraction but may still want to be in a relationship and do things like hold hands or cuddling. It's sort of in between being best-friends with someone and dating. 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Alawyn-Aebt

Alawyn-Aebt

Posted
Posted
24 minutes ago, Who_Are_You said:

I'm not ready for all of this adulting yet.

I'm not either, but I have a few more months than you until I turn 19. Although most of my friends are 19 or 20 and they seem to be doing okay, so at least I see it's possible to be an adult.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Smol Fox

Smol Fox

Posted
Posted
On 12/8/2018 at 7:14 AM, Forest Emerald19 said:

Hello! I just joined AVEN and I tentatively think I'm ace and aro, but I'm not super sure yet.  Since you guys were talking about romantic preferences, I was wondering how you would differentiate between close friends and dating someone in a purely romantic relationship?  I mean the general answer I get is that you want to kiss the person you are dating and wouldn't want to kiss a friend, but I don't want to kiss anyone.  Then they say it just feels different which is kind of unhelpful.  Is it really just a feeling that aromantic people don't get?  Or is there something else to it?

I wouldn't know of any difference between the two since I've never experienced romantic or platonic attraction. I'm either aesthetically attracted, alterously attracted, or "who even are you??". The definition of romantic attraction is different for everyone, but no matter the explanation, my brain will always find a "discrepancy" and/or be utterly confused and repulsed by the concept.

 

A romantic relationship is characterized by romantic attraction. From what I've heard, it's just something you know, and if you don't immediately know upon hearing "you just know" or "it's different", then you haven't experienced it. You may instead think "that sounds like friendship", "but that's how I feel when I talk to my best friend" or, "I may have felt that before??"

 

Just an aro's interpretation of something they completely don't understand o7

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
Fluffy Femme Guy

Fluffy Femme Guy

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, Who_Are_You said:

Guys, I have 4 months until I'm 19. I'm not ready for all of this adulting yet.

Don't feel bad about it. Some people don't 'feel' it till their mid 20's.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
Wild_Witch_of_the_East

Wild_Witch_of_the_East

Posted
Posted

I say children to people older than me but really I'm the child. Hello children I am  about to be 16

  • Like 7
Link to post
Share on other sites
Alawyn-Aebt

Alawyn-Aebt

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, renee2345 said:

I say children to people older than me but really I'm the child.

I still think of myself as a child, I don't see myself as having changed at all. I even go to the extent of disliking the words Man and Woman when referring to a specific person so I tend to use Male and Female.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
Maya the Composer

Maya the Composer

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, renee2345 said:

I say children to people older than me but really I'm the child.

I'm the same way, and I find myself saying, "back when I was little" and "in my younger years" and such --- I'm 17.

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Followers 428
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...