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Comrade Kitty

I have 4 siblings. My older brother was actually the first person I came out too. The other 3 are too young or don't care. When I told my older bro, he said "Wait really? Cool, me too!". We grew a lot closer after that. 

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Miss_Bookworm
On 10/9/2019 at 11:22 AM, Earth and Moon said:

Yay I found the Teen Corner! 😋

 

Hi guys, gals, and non-binary pals,

I have a question, but first, here’s the backstory: I’ve been wanting to buy a black Ace Ring for months now, but I don’t know where I’d find a black ring. I had asked my parents for a ring last year, but since I’m not out to them I got a shiny, silver ring made to look like two leaves. I didn’t tell my parents what ring I wanted because I predict that if I say I want a black ring, they’ll  give me a weird look and laugh at me and ask me why specifically a black ring 😬😰.

 

So, are there places any of you know that may have a black ring?

If not, do you know any excuses I could tell my parents when they ask me why? 🤔

Thanks! 😁

My friend got me one for Christmas from Walmart I believe. I'm not sure what the price was, but it's pretty good quality. Honestly, no one questions my ring, but anyone who would already knows that i'm Ace. I'm kinda surprised my dad and stepmom haven't said anything about it yet, though.😂

As for excuses, I believe I read somewhere that someone said it was from a book/TV/movie/comic book they liked. Maybe that would work?

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1 hour ago, Miss_Bookworm said:

I believe I read somewhere that someone said it was from a book/TV/movie/comic book they liked

Oooh

That’s smart, thanks!

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Out of curiousity- do any of you have aro &/or ace friends or know someone who's part of the community irl? I go to a pretty big school with 1000 kids per grade, and I know of two aces, including me. That means there's supposedly eight more in my grade alone if we make up 1% of the population. 

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2 minutes ago, Carbon-12 said:

Out of curiousity- do any of you have aro &/or ace friends or know someone who's part of the community irl? I go to a pretty big school with 1000 kids per grade, and I know of two aces, including me. That means there's supposedly eight more in my grade alone if we make up 1% of the population. 

Nope.

I'm the only ace I know of irl in this neck of the woods.

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47 minutes ago, Carbon-12 said:

Out of curiousity- do any of you have aro &/or ace friends or know someone who's part of the community irl? I go to a pretty big school with 1000 kids per grade, and I know of two aces, including me. That means there's supposedly eight more in my grade alone if we make up 1% of the population. 

I know of one romantic ace person at my school, and my aunt's asexual.  

I don't know either of them very well though, and neither of them know that I'm ace.  

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7 hours ago, Carbon-12 said:

Out of curiousity- do any of you have aro &/or ace friends or know someone who's part of the community irl? I go to a pretty big school with 1000 kids per grade, and I know of two aces, including me. That means there's supposedly eight more in my grade alone if we make up 1% of the population. 

At the end of the year, all my school’s clubs get together to form a thing called Unity Fair. My sister said her friend was making stickers with different orientations on it (she had come out to me as bisexual a bit before that). I was super happy to find that her friend made ace stickers as well. During Unity Fair, I saw some of the ace stickers were taken, but I only saw 1 actual person wearing the sticker (they wore a gay and ace sticker in concert band)

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9 hours ago, Carbon-12 said:

do any of you have aro &/or ace friends or know someone who's part of the community irl?

No, there is an asexual meet time at my college but I have never gone to it yet. Theoretically in a university of 32,000 undergraduates there should be a fair number of asexuals, but finding them among the 32,000 would be difficult.

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10 hours ago, Carbon-12 said:

Out of curiousity- do any of you have aro &/or ace friends or know someone who's part of the community irl? I go to a pretty big school with 1000 kids per grade, and I know of two aces, including me. That means there's supposedly eight more in my grade alone if we make up 1% of the population. 

I know one other ace, maybe two. I'm not sure. This other person was out as bi but I saw them wearing a black ring. I didn't ask about it but I might soon if they keep wearing it

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12 hours ago, Carbon-12 said:

Out of curiousity- do any of you have aro &/or ace friends or know someone who's part of the community irl? I go to a pretty big school with 1000 kids per grade, and I know of two aces, including me. That means there's supposedly eight more in my grade alone if we make up 1% of the population. 

I know of one other romantic ace in my school but there are probably more I don’t know about. 

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Yo I came out to 3 of my friends yesterday!  

They were talking about relationships & I said I was never going to get married, and one of them actually asked if I was ace.  :)

So I suppose my coming out strategy is "be very obviously aroace until someone asks you directly."  

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Hi! :)

 

I came out officially to my best friends today, but all of them are in the lgbtq+ community (tho none of them are ace), so they get it with the coming out thing at least. It felt great! I've been thinking about it and knowing for quite a while now, but it felt good saying it out loud. It feels great embracing it and publicly becoming a part of this community, but I'm also a bit scared. i'm a bit scared about future realtionships, if it will be harder for me to get a boyfriend bc they can't get sex from me. But if sex is the only think they want from me they're not worth my time anyway...

I'm scared of the endless explaining and misunderstanding from other people.

 

I'm not sure if I want to come out to my parents and sister, bc reasons.

1) They wouldn't get it, espacially my parents, 

2) I'm not comfortable sharing my thoughts on sex and sexual attraction with them. I kinda feel like it's none of their business. 

3) They wouldn't take me seriously. They'd pull the "just a phase" card, and that would just lead to my humiliation. Especially since they know that I've already had a boyfriend, but they don't know how I truly felt. I expierenced with him (not sleeping with him obvi, but other things) and that actually helped me even more to realise my asexuality, since I didn't enjoy it at all, and it disgusts me to think about it now. 

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I’ve been out to my friends for a while, only 1 or 2 of us aren’t lgbtq+ so it’s just comfortable to talk about stuff like that around them. But I did come out to my mom on Friday, she was really supportive in the fact that she doesn’t care what my sexual orientation is but she did try to pull the “it’s just a phase and you’re too young” card. She was really nice and outed me to my dad (catch the sarcasm?). He had a half hour long conversation with me yesterday about pride and labels, while trying not to relate it to my “ace thing” too much. They are both really accepting of me but they are very unsure if asexuality will stick around. In a few years I’ll be able to say “I told you so” when I’m still ace. 

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14 minutes ago, Earth and Moon said:

@iyote and @PoppityPop

wow congrats on coming out to your friends! 🍰🍰🍰🎂🎂 (y’all deserve cake rn 😉)

Aww, thank you ^-^

 

 

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Guilli Milli Mu

Last week I come out to my father and I didn't expect how great he react! We was alredy talking about LGBTQPIA+ community, so, when I said, was really natural. But I'm steal a bit afraid to talk at loud about asexuality and my romatic orientation on class. Probally, cause we read a poem that has Aro thogths (but not explicitly Aro) and they just burn. Now, I just avoid the subject and it isn't like I need to come out for them, but is really uncomfortable.

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3 minutes ago, Guilli Milli Mu said:

Probally, cause we read a poem that has Aro thogths (but not explicitly Aro) and they just burn.

Once at my school, we read the poem "Spinster" by Sylvia Plath.  It's about a woman who realizes that she really doesn't have any interest in romance and instead commits to living a solitary life.  It was very aro in my eyes, triumphantly so, but my friend said it was "sad."  

I found it crazy that romance is so fundamentally normalized that a character in a poem being happiest on her own (and rejecting romance in the process) is seen as a sad thing.  

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4 hours ago, PoppityPop said:

I'm not sure if I want to come out to my parents and sister, bc reasons.

1) They wouldn't get it, espacially my parents, 

2) I'm not comfortable sharing my thoughts on sex and sexual attraction with them. I kinda feel like it's none of their business. 

3) They wouldn't take me seriously. They'd pull the "just a phase" card, and that would just lead to my humiliation. 

Me too, I’m seriously considering just not telling them. But then I realized they would just assume that I’m not ace and I don’t know if I want that

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Wow, ok 😬 I just had a revelation:

So, I do AVEN on my phone because my school computer unfortunately blocks it :( and I just realized that when I tapped on the heart button to agree/like/react to a post, I was supposed to tap it two times! I only tapped it once, so it apparently never worked, even though I thought it was working, heh! 😅😅

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OmegaIsGoodAtCards

Hey, I'm Omega! i  don't use AVEN often so DM me if you want my instagram or somethin

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On 10/11/2019 at 10:17 PM, Carbon-12 said:

Out of curiousity- do any of you have aro &/or ace friends or know someone who's part of the community irl? I go to a pretty big school with 1000 kids per grade, and I know of two aces, including me. That means there's supposedly eight more in my grade alone if we make up 1% of the population. 

I have one aro ace friend, and another friend who I suspect to be ace as well. 

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I just started wearing an ace ring, and have found two other people who do so as well! Two of my friends are aro-ace, and I know a couple more who are more or less closeted. It's getting pretty crowded here! It does seem that since my area is pretty open about lgbt+ people, more people may be willing to embrace their identity? I know it took me a few years to figure out myself.

Just wondering as well, scrolling through social media I find that acephobia is alarmingly common. Has anyone come across someone who was openly antagonistic/dismissive of their identity?

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5 hours ago, Licykk said:

Has anyone come across someone who was openly antagonistic/dismissive of their identity?

Antagonistic, no. Ignorant, yes. I do not really tell anyone my asexuality (I told my parents about my lack of interest in sex, but even they I didn't use the term) so I do not experience anything directly, but I have heard a few statements that could easily be interpreted as antagonistic, although they were not meaning to be antagonistic rather they were just ignorant.

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On 10/14/2019 at 9:38 PM, iyote said:

Yo I came out to 3 of my friends yesterday!  

They were talking about relationships & I said I was never going to get married, and one of them actually asked if I was ace.  :)

So I suppose my coming out strategy is "be very obviously aroace until someone asks you directly."  

That's what I've been doing for a whole year, a friend that two of my close friends follow on instagram even posted a picture of me in her story with the caption "my favorite asexual" which both of them saw and I still had to explicitly come out to them after they assumed I was bi for some reason :D

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mexicanpotato

I had an ace revelation moment in school today.

We were discussing teenagers

And the sexuality moment came...and the teacher was like "you start feeling romantic and sexual feelings towards others"

Awful

Also, she was pretty heteronormative, it was like "when a guy likes a girl..." and she had the "discoverign your sexual orientation" topic but she just skipped it ufff

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1 hour ago, mexicanpotato said:

I had an ace revelation moment in school today.

We were discussing teenagers

And the sexuality moment came...and the teacher was like "you start feeling romantic and sexual feelings towards others"

Awful

Also, she was pretty heteronormative, it was like "when a guy likes a girl..." and she had the "discoverign your sexual orientation" topic but she just skipped it ufff

I’m so sorry this happened. At my school they love to just completely skip over everything. They try so hard not to offend anyone that they just don’t teach anything for fear of getting something wrong. 

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I've never had any classes like that. Every time I've almost had to do a Sex Ed class or something happens and I don't have to do it. Teachers have left, days have been missed. When I switched schools I missed it as well. I think I am extremely lucky.

 

Hello to all the new people! I'm so sorry I haven't been on AVEN in a while so this is a bit late and I might miss somebody. If I do please yell at me so I can send you cake.

 

Welcome @PoppityPop, @Guilli Milli Mu and @OmegaIsGoodAtCards! I hope you enjoy the teen corner. OmegaIsGoodAtCards I actually spent about five minutes trying to work your name. I'm horrid at spelling. Here is some cake for all of you,cakes.jpeg66661300_167286414406116_778049104453658Ruby-Feature.jpg

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So recently i've started to question my romantic orientation. I've fallen in love twice (I think), and had a small crush (I think) once, and based on that i labeled myself as biromantic, but now i'm not so sure. Both times i've had what i believe to be romantic feelings, it was with people i considered close friends, so i have considered that i may be demiromantic, but i've always had a hard time distinguishing friendship from possible romantic attraction. I'm pretty sure i feel romantic attraction, and that fairytale romance is something i want to have some day, but how will i know that i like someone romantically instead of strong platonic feelings? Wanting physical affection in the form of hugging and cuddling won't really work, since that's something i like to get from friends as well. 

 

I will say that for now, the biromantic label is what i am going to use as it's what i've found to be most applicable so far, but as i've learned about other forms of romantic attraction and other terms for those, i've started to wonder if biromantic was the right term to describe me. And although i know rationally there is nothing wrong with it, trying to figure out this kind of stuff for myself makes me really nervous because i feel like if i later realise 'hey, that wasn't the right term for how i feel', then i feel like i was lying to everyone who i had told 'hey, this is what i identify as' in the past. 

 

Anyway, im in the middle of class now so i should get back to work. See ya'll later!

 

TL:DR - Im a confused mess of feelings and don't know how to determine how i fell about people.

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mexicanpotato

Romantic attraction is the hardest one to figure out for me.

Asexual was simple, you just realize that you never liked the idea of sex or having it and that was it.

But for romantic attraction...I don't know

I was never interested in having a boyfriend and had never had a crush so I figured I was aro, then I realized that QPRs sounded good if the partner was a girl so I was like maybe I'm homoromantic, but the thought of kissing someone has never crossed my mind and I wouldn't like it with boys or girls. It was hard but I finally thought that I may be demi homoromantic or something.

 

Wither way, I undestand that you @ZooBot with sticking to a label that works for now but it may change

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5 hours ago, ZooBot said:

So recently i've started to question my romantic orientation.

Me too. For like a year I’ve been attracted to one of my close friends, but it hasn’t been a constant attraction. Like one day I’ll think the idea of dating him is laughable and then in two weeks it’ll be totally the opposite and I’ll want to date him. I don’t know about Demi romantic and I feel like gray romantic would be the best descriptor, but I feel allo enough romantically to not bother using it

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