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will123

By will123,
in Asexual Musings and Rantings

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LeChat
Message added by LeChat,

Hi, there, everyone.

 

Let's all, please, remember the TOS about being respectful towards other members, each others' different viewpoints, etc. without swearing at each other, vigilante modding (i.e. ordering other members around), etc.

 

Just a friendly reminder that if there is/are a post(s) that concern you, that the TOS mentions notifying Admods for help through PM or AVEN's report system.

 

Thank you.

 

LeChat,

Welcome Lounge, Announcements, and Alternate Language moderator

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Kiovenn

Kiovenn

Posted
Posted
On 4/5/2019 at 8:36 PM, i'mjustme said:

Hello my fellow teenagers,

I realize we're all quite young, but I have a question. What are yall's feelings about having kids in the future? Not necessarily biological kids, adopted counts too. Also, whatever your feelings are, do you think your asexuality influences your answer? 

I definitely don't actually want kids, for reasons including:

- Ace, thus not gonna make 'em myself

- Even if I was willing to have biological children, this would be morally incorrect on multiple levels (there are kids out there who need to be adopted; the world is probably doomed if we don't turn a lot of current trends around, so I'd be sentencing someone to life in a dying world; I don't really think my genes should be passed on, honestly)

- On adoption: I'm 99% sure I'd be a terrible parent, and I have better things to do with my time anyway.

 

In spite of all of this, I have somehow built up a hypothetical scenario in which I somehow end up taking care of a kid, due to extreme (possibly apocalyptic) extenuating circumstances. I mostly use this hypothet to think about avoiding doing things my parents do that annoy me.

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Lbelaqua

Lbelaqua

Posted
Posted

What kind of clothes do you guys like to wear? I'm curious because I wear the least sexual clothes ever (loose, baggy clothes with high necklines etc) and I'm wondering if it's an ace thing? 

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iyote

iyote

Posted
Posted
22 minutes ago, Lbelaqua said:

What kind of clothes do you guys like to wear? I'm curious because I wear the least sexual clothes ever (loose, baggy clothes with high necklines etc) and I'm wondering if it's an ace thing? 

Same for me.  T-shirt and jeans, loose jackets.  I just like practical and comfy clothes, but I'd also hate it if people saw me as attractive, so I think my ace-ness is a bit of a factor for me.  

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mad mish

mad mish

Posted
Posted

@Lbelaqua I guess it's same for me too... I generally prefer loose and baggy clothes and it's because I like comfy clothes and the other reason is when u wear attractive clothes u have to handle them a lot which is not my cup of tea. 

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iam135

iam135

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, Lbelaqua said:

What kind of clothes do you guys like to wear? I'm curious because I wear the least sexual clothes ever (loose, baggy clothes with high necklines etc) and I'm wondering if it's an ace thing? 

I tend to dress nice, but relatively modestly. Usually that means a knee-length dress over some leggings, sometimes with a cardigan or sweater on top, depending on the weather. I will sometimes opt for shorts with leggings instead though - usually with some sort of high-neckline top or sweater. I also tend to opt for colorful, floral patterns, which do stand out in certain settings.

 

I definitely don't dress "sexually" but I do put thought into my outfits and I'm fine with standing out. That might be in part due to my asexuality (no need to dress provocatively if you're not trying to attract anyone), but it's mostly just a matter of practicality and personal preference.

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ColeHW34

ColeHW34

Posted
Posted

I don’t really like to dress fancy one bit. Normally I just wear skinny jeans and a cool color or gray t-shirt.

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laokatok

laokatok

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, Lbelaqua said:

What kind of clothes do you guys like to wear? I'm curious because I wear the least sexual clothes ever (loose, baggy clothes with high necklines etc) and I'm wondering if it's an ace thing? 

I actually do like to dress in a way that could be considered as sexual by others.. I like to think of it as classy or sweet. Although clothes that might be "normal" when others wear them quickly become sexual when I wear them simply because of my physique.. 

Either that or hoodies. No in-between haha. 

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SmallBean

SmallBean

Posted
Posted
On 4/17/2019 at 10:45 PM, Lbelaqua said:

What kind of clothes do you guys like to wear? I'm curious because I wear the least sexual clothes ever (loose, baggy clothes with high necklines etc) and I'm wondering if it's an ace thing? 

For me my style kind of varies from day to day. Sometimes I just wear a t-shirt and leggings and can't stand wearing anything more "fancy" I guess? But other times I really love wearing dresses and skirts so idk

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mexicanpotato

mexicanpotato

Posted
Posted
On 4/5/2019 at 7:36 PM, i'mjustme said:

Hello my fellow teenagers,

I realize we're all quite young, but I have a question. What are yall's feelings about having kids in the future? Not necessarily biological kids, adopted counts too. Also, whatever your feelings are, do you think your asexuality influences your answer? 

I don't want to have children, to much time, money and I think my personality it's not useful to be a good mom, I don't think being ace is the main reason why I don't want kids but I think it's a factor there

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mexicanpotato

mexicanpotato

Posted
Posted
On 4/17/2019 at 10:45 PM, Lbelaqua said:

What kind of clothes do you guys like to wear? I'm curious because I wear the least sexual clothes ever (loose, baggy clothes with high necklines etc) and I'm wondering if it's an ace thing? 

I think the most "sexual" thing I wear are crop tops but the ones I wear are longer and wider than the average so I'm cool with it and they don't show skin because I use them with high-waisted jeans

I wear jeans, pants and leggins...some times a dress or a short because of the hot weather but I'm mainly a "jeans and baggy tshirt" person

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Calathiel

Calathiel

Posted
Posted

Hey guys, new here! Any of you been in a relationship with an allosexual or has friends who are basically in denial about you being asexual?

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Hayis4horses

Hayis4horses

Posted
Posted
On 4/17/2019 at 8:45 PM, Lbelaqua said:

What kind of clothes do you guys like to wear? I'm curious because I wear the least sexual clothes ever (loose, baggy clothes with high necklines etc) and I'm wondering if it's an ace thing? 

I wear baggy clothes, too. Almost everything I wear is considered "boy clothes". I don't think it's really an ace thing for me, I just like them.

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SarahSomeone

SarahSomeone

Posted
Posted
20 hours ago, Calathiel said:

Hey guys, new here! Any of you been in a relationship with an allosexual or has friends who are basically in denial about you being asexual?

Recently got out of my first relationship which I ended because I realized I am asexual and don’t want to be in a relationship, which he unfortunately couldn’t quite fully understand 😓 

When I told my friends a few months ago they initially asked me if I was sure because we are still teenagers, but then they immediately apologized and accepted it 😁 Also, welcome by the way 😊

Have you had any experiences like that?

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ColeHW34

ColeHW34

Posted
Posted

Nope never been in an relationship before.

Heck most people avoid me altogether for whatever pathetic excuse they have. 

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SmallBean

SmallBean

Posted
Posted
On 4/5/2019 at 8:36 PM, i'mjustme said:

Hello my fellow teenagers,

I realize we're all quite young, but I have a question. What are yall's feelings about having kids in the future? Not necessarily biological kids, adopted counts too. Also, whatever your feelings are, do you think your asexuality influences your answer? 

I actually want to have kids but I know that it'd be a bad idea as I'm far too scatterbrained to take care of another human being, especially a small one that needs a bunch of attention, for more than a few hours at a time. I can barely take care of myself as it is so it definitely wouldn't be a good idea to give me someone to take care of. I'd be more likely to get some kind of low attention pet or plant than a child

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iam135

iam135

Posted
Posted
23 hours ago, Calathiel said:

Hey guys, new here! Any of you been in a relationship with an allosexual or has friends who are basically in denial about you being asexual?

I'm aromantic and don't talk about my asexuality much offline, so I can't say I've experienced either. The closest thing I've had to disbelief was a friend who believed that I was secretly a suppressed lesbian because I never talked about my sexual interests. Though, I did recently slip up and mention to him that I'm "indifferent" to sex (without actually using the term "asexual" thankfully) and he hasn't brought up the idea of me suppressing my sexuality since. I really think that conversation gave him some piece of mind, and that he was acting more out of concern for my well-being than any sort of disbelief, which I appreciate.

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Queer_Queen

Queer_Queen

Posted
Posted
On 4/22/2019 at 4:49 AM, SmallBean said:

Hello my fellow teenagers,

I realize we're all quite young, but I have a question. What are yall's feelings about having kids in the future? Not necessarily biological kids, adopted counts too. Also, whatever your feelings are, do you think your asexuality influences your answer? 

I love how everyone is talking about how many kids they want and I'm just trying to survive today 😭

High school sucks. I had like 3 tests today, which took me like more than a week to study for because of my stupid ADD, but then one of my teachers decides to not gives us the test because she doesnt feel like it. I literally started crying. then my friend tried to tell some jokes to make me feel better, he ended up saying that some guy was gay, which was funny because the guy is like the definition of straight, but then out of impulse I said that i was asexual, they laughed becuase they thought is was a joke too, and i was like a it's totally a joke. fml.

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Kiovenn

Kiovenn

Posted
Posted
On 4/18/2019 at 8:57 AM, ColeHW said:

I don’t really like to dress fancy one bit. Normally I just wear skinny jeans and a cool color or gray t-shirt.

Pretty much this for me too. I basically just wear what my parents buy for me. I wish I had more brightly-colored T-shirts, but lately all that shows up "for" teenage "boys" and "men" at the stores my family shops at is gray, dark blue, dark red, or dark green. Makes me worry people are going to think I'm depressed or something because I only wear "sad" colors.

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Pumpkins_and_penguins

Pumpkins_and_penguins

Posted
Posted
On 4/18/2019 at 4:45 AM, Lbelaqua said:

What kind of clothes do you guys like to wear? I'm curious because I wear the least sexual clothes ever (loose, baggy clothes with high necklines etc) and I'm wondering if it's an ace thing? 

I love wearing dresses and prefer tight fitting trousers. I am not averse to low cut tops either.

I think it's just personal style and what I think looks good on my body. It makes me feel confident when I dress somewhat 'sexy'.

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alien.hedgehog

alien.hedgehog

Posted
Posted
On 4/18/2019 at 6:45 AM, Lbelaqua said:

What kind of clothes do you guys like to wear? I'm curious because I wear the least sexual clothes ever (loose, baggy clothes with high necklines etc) and I'm wondering if it's an ace thing? 

Kinda the same here too. I wear baggy clothes and only black, I'm a metalhead so all my shirts are band shirts and the store where I buy them is small so it has nothing that is genderd which is great. The way I dress plus the fact that I have short hair makes people confuse me with a boy really often and I got the question"Are you trans?" more times than I could remember. All the time I'm like no, I'm not, I just don't like feminine stuff and I'm too lazy to brush my hair so I cut it short. 

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Roberts

Roberts

Posted
Posted
On 4/18/2019 at 3:45 PM, Lbelaqua said:

What kind of clothes do you guys like to wear?

Ah, if only I owned more than just my school uniform.

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ColeHW34

ColeHW34

Posted
Posted

School uniforms? 

That sucks. I almost had to wear one once because my dad was considering sending me to a private school.

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Roberts

Roberts

Posted
Posted
45 minutes ago, ColeHW said:

School uniforms? 

That sucks. I almost had to wear one once because my dad was considering sending me to a private school.

Eh. I personally like the uniform. One less thing to be judged about, given that we're all wearing it.

Is there a "member of the public" uniform that I can wear once I leave the school-place?

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mexicanpotato

mexicanpotato

Posted
Posted
On 5/2/2019 at 12:34 AM, Roberts said:

Eh. I personally like the uniform. One less thing to be judged about, given that we're all wearing it.

Is there a "member of the public" uniform that I can wear once I leave the school-place?

I feel the same about the fact that we're all wearing it, specially since we live in a society that judges you if you use your clothes repeatedly more than two times so uniforms are perfect for me

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laokatok

laokatok

Posted
Posted

So I realize this might sound pretty strange or even creepy but has anyone else ever had a crush or squish on their teacher? I think I might have a squish on mine and I feel SO weird about it... 

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Lbelaqua

Lbelaqua

Posted
Posted

Is it a common experience for aces to hear people talking about how someone is "hot" and you see them and you're just like "...they are?" because how would you know

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Alawyn-Aebt

Alawyn-Aebt

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, Lbelaqua said:

Is it a common experience for aces to hear people talking about how someone is "hot" and you see them and you're just like "...they are?" because how would you know

Yes, although that might be reasonably common for everyone. I have a friend who will say someone is "hot" then my other friend will disagree.

 

I do understand somewhat what people mean when they call people "hot", because it is nice when I see someone of above-average beauty (by my account at least) but for me if I find out the said person has completely different interests than me (mine are mostly involving obscure academic topics) then my perception changes and I don't see the person as above-average beauty. So while I do understand seeing someone beautiful, I don't get why one would want to have sex with them nor why one would continue to see someone else as "hot" after learning that the person in question has no ability to carry on an interesting conversation.

 

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RaptorQueen

RaptorQueen

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 4/5/2019 at 9:36 PM, i'mjustme said:

Hello my fellow teenagers,

I realize we're all quite young, but I have a question. What are yall's feelings about having kids in the future? Not necessarily biological kids, adopted counts too. Also, whatever your feelings are, do you think your asexuality influences your answer? 

Biological kids: Haha, never. The only socially accepted things more repulsive to me than sex are childbirth and pregnancy. It just sounds like a 9 month long nightmare that ends with excruciating pain to me. Plus, the species' already way too overpopulated anyways, so idk why I'd want to bring more people into it.

plus what an absolute power move would it be to rebel againt my parents "oh well youre still young" statements by never having biological kids in my life

 

Adoption: That depends. If I had a partner who genuinely loves and cares for me but also really wanted kids, then I'd see if we could compromise on adoption. If I don't end up with a partner, then I probably wouldn't adopt a child. I just don't think I'd be ready to face that kind of commitment alone. Though giving a child a better life sounds pretty nice.

Edited by RaptorQueen
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GentlemanCambrioleur

GentlemanCambrioleur

Posted
Posted

I'm 18, is it ok for me to be on this thread?

 

On the topic of kids, biological is a no for me. I'll adopt only if I'm dead certain I'm financially/emotionally ready. I'm in no rush in regards with the kids business. 

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Alawyn-Aebt

Alawyn-Aebt

Posted
Posted
13 hours ago, GentlemanCambrioleur said:

I'm 18, is it ok for me to be on this thread?

I assume so, if not I should leave too.

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