Eener Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 Hi Everyone, I have very recently finally realized that I could be on the spectrum of non sexual somewhere. I do not so much mind hugging (although I have to think about giving them) I really do not like kissing and when it comes to sexual things I do not like them. I do not think about them, or have a want for them and plainly I find it disinteresting, and like a chore. I have always felt this way so this is certainly not a new thing, but I've come into a relationship for once where I have what only I can gather as I have fallen in love 😊. So, I told my partner that I have no interest in sex and do not want to have it anymore (I finally cracked) tried to asure him it is not personal and I am just very far from an affectionate person and I just can not go through doing that for another person anymore (it makes me feel extremely strange) I also told my mother that I think I may be asexual or something alike and she tried to shrug it off like it will get better with time. You have a lot on at the moment.. and now people are basically in denial and want to "fix" me. They do not seem to understand the fact that I am content being this way? And you can't miss something you've never had? I also don't get how to fix something I don't see as a problem. I have never had a sex drive, nor do I want one. I feel bad for my parter, like extremely guilty, but I simply do not want to "try to get better" for other people? Is that selfish? What can I do? Has anyone in this kind of situation had to compromise? How did you do that.. Thank you in advance Link to post Share on other sites
AVEN #1 fan Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 Welcome to AVEN, enjoy it! Link to post Share on other sites
MrDane Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 Hi, im the sexual part in my relationship. First of all, congrats to you for realizing who you are. There is nothing wrong with not liking sex or finding it boring or even being replused by it. To me, sex is fantastic and the icing of the cake in terms of love-sharing togetherness. It is hard to comprehend, that sex is so different. It is a bit like speaking different body languages. Most people around you will probably not understand. Dont use to much time on that. If you never want to have any sex again, (in any form, not just piv) then I think you have to accept, that this a huge change for your partner as well. Now is the time for you guys to work on a solution. Obvious solutions, (but none that sounds that easy or good) 1. No sex for any of you 2. Very little sex between you and only something, which you can compromise on, without losing yourself (could be helping him to masturbate) 3. Him getting sex from other people, but still in a loving relationship with you 4. Splitting up Link to post Share on other sites
gisiebob Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 yeah the question of whether or not this is selfish should be directed at the two of you as a couple. consider how you are at once an individual and a member of a two person society. good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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