okay-but-martin-freeman Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 I've been floating around this website for a few days, because I think I'm either asexual or a sex repulsed heterosexual. I was wondering, if it's not too much trouble, if I could explain my situation, and get your opinion on it? It would help a lot. Thank you. Alright, so, like most teenage girls (16), I've had crushes before, but never on guys at my school or guys I knew, they were always guys from anime, from books, and very rarely, from TV shows. I can find guys attractive in real life (it's not very often but I can), but the thought of kissing or hugging or having sex with them is disgusting to me. I do masturbate (so I have a libido, albeit not strongly), but when I fantasize, it's always like I'm floating above two people having sex, not ever me having sex. The thought of me kissing or having sex with someone is disgusting to me. I don't even really like physical touch in general, ESPECIALLY romantic (I can manage it if it's from a family member or friend). From this, should I conclude I'm asexual, or a sex repulsed heterosexual; or, could I perhaps go with either one? Your input really helps, it really does... and thank you so much for reading. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ashmedai Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 Asexuals are a diverse lot. There are some that aren't into romance, which is called aromantic, while others are romantic. Some of them are hetero romantic, homo romantic etc. Some have libidos, some don't. There's plenty more info in this thread if you want to read up more about it. If you think that being asexual is something that fits you after doing some research, only you can decide that for yourself. If not, that's ok too. I wouldn't worry about the future too much, people change over time, especially through their teenage years. if it makes sense now, that's all that matters really. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AVEN #1 fan Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 I don't think sex repulsed individuals can be (allo)sexual. However aces can have libido, fantasize, masturbate, have different opinions about sex: We have the ones who are sex repulsed - apothisexuals The ones who are against sex - antisexuals The ones who are indifferent towards sex - apathsexuals The ones who are sex positive - pothisexuals I don't think you're sex or romance averse, you're more likely touch averse. And as you said, I guess you fit more as an aegosexual, under the ace umbrella. Aegosexual people fantasize about sex, however cant imagine themselves in their fantasies. If you can't imagine yourself having sex with other people, you can identify as ace too. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ashmedai Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 5 minutes ago, AVEN #1 fan said: I don't think sex repulsed individuals can be (allo)sexual. However aces can have libido, fantasize, masturbate, have different opinions about sex: We have the ones who are sex repulsed - apothisexuals The ones who are against sex - antisexuals The ones who are indifferent towards sex - apathsexuals The ones who are sex positive - pothisexuals I don't think you're sex or romance averse, you're more likely touch averse. And as you said, I guess you fit more as an aegosexual, under the ace umbrella. Aegosexual people fantasize about sex, however cant imagine themselves in their fantasies. If you can't imagine yourself having sex with other people, you can identify as ace too. Anyone can be repulsed or not, regardless of their orientation. Some people may have experienced trauma of some sort, or have some sort of intimacy issues. As for the rest, I'm going to advise against labelling people, and strapping labels to people's sexualities and romantic orientations. Tal Shi'ar Co Mod for Questions about Asexuality. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Joe the Stoic Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 2 hours ago, Smixysmoo said: I've been floating around this website for a few days, because I think I'm either asexual or a sex repulsed heterosexual. I was wondering, if it's not too much trouble, if I could explain my situation, and get your opinion on it? It would help a lot. Thank you. Alright, so, like most teenage girls (16), I've had crushes before, but never on guys at my school or guys I knew, they were always guys from anime, from books, and very rarely, from TV shows. I can find guys attractive in real life (it's not very often but I can), but the thought of kissing or hugging or having sex with them is disgusting to me. I do masturbate (so I have a libido, albeit not strongly), but when I fantasize, it's always like I'm floating above two people having sex, not ever me having sex. The thought of me kissing or having sex with someone is disgusting to me. I don't even really like physical touch in general, ESPECIALLY romantic (I can manage it if it's from a family member or friend). From this, should I conclude I'm asexual, or a sex repulsed heterosexual; or, could I perhaps go with either one? Your input really helps, it really does... and thank you so much for reading. At your age, it might be hard to tell. You still have some room for brain maturation and soul-searching, moving forward. "I don't know" is always a reasonable answer. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AVEN #1 fan Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 11 minutes ago, Tal Shi'ar said: Anyone can be repulsed or not, regardless of their orientation. Some people may have experienced trauma of some sort, or have some sort of intimacy issues. As for the rest, I'm going to advise against labelling people, and strapping labels to people's sexualities and romantic orientations. Tal Shi'ar Co Mod for Questions about Asexuality. I think we're both generalizing, if people ever felt any kind of sexual attraction, I mean if they can fantasize about having sex, they are most likely not repulsed. and I know some people have traumas, but if they felt sexual attraction before it, they're gray-aces. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AVEN #1 fan Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 Just now, CBC said: That's utterly ridiculous. I said above, if one find sex something gross or disgusting for free, why would they even fantasize about it? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AVEN #1 fan Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 Just now, CBC said: It doesn't have to be black and white. People can still innately desire things that have ended up being uncomfortable and/or repulsive to them somehow. I've met countless people in the online mental health communities of which I'm a part who've experienced sexual trauma and have very strong negative feelings about sex, yet still have the desire to have a positive and healthy sexual relationship with their partner (or potential partners). I think there's differences btw dislike, hate, and repulsion. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ashmedai Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 13 minutes ago, CBC said: Semantically, sure, yeah. For the purposes of this discussion, not hugely. Speaking of which, for the purposes of this discussion, can we please get back on track with that? It'd be nice to answer people's questions. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 Do you have to struggle to abstain from sex, because your body wants it but at the same time you feel it's super gross and can't see yourself do such a thing, no matter how much you'd yearn for it? => sex-repulsed sexual Or are you truly 100% okeydokey fine and at peace with never in your life having sex (and the idea also happens to be super gross to you)? => sex-repulsed asexual Don't even bother trying to squeeze it into the "attraction" paradigm - that just complicates matters and is bloody stupid. Desire informs orientation. If you don't have any desire for partnered sex at all, that's asexuality - no ifs no buts. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
okay-but-martin-freeman Posted January 27, 2017 Author Share Posted January 27, 2017 2 hours ago, Mysticus Insanus said: Do you have to struggle to abstain from sex, because your body wants it but at the same time you feel it's super gross and can't see yourself do such a thing, no matter how much you'd yearn for it? => sex-repulsed sexual Or are you truly 100% okeydokey fine and at peace with never in your life having sex (and the idea also happens to be super gross to you)? => sex-repulsed asexual Don't even bother trying to squeeze it into the "attraction" paradigm - that just complicates matters and is bloody stupid. Desire informs orientation. If you don't have any desire for partnered sex at all, that's asexuality - no ifs no buts. I see; thank you, all of your insights really helped cleared things up for me. Under these definitions I'd definitely be asexual (I've never felt sexual attraction ("I'd tap that") towards anyone, only aesthetic attraction ("Ooooo, pretty!"); I also don't struggle to abstain from sex at all, I'm totally turned off if someone - anyone - comes on to me). While I'm young and should always be open to changes in my sexuality down the line, I think I'm going to identify as asexual for now, since that seems to really fit my situation at the moment. Thank you, so much, all of you for helping me out on this. I really hope you understand how much this means to me. Thank you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ashmedai Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 5 hours ago, AVEN #1 fan said: I think we're both generalizing, if people ever felt any kind of sexual attraction, I mean if they can fantasize about having sex, they are most likely not repulsed. and I know some people have traumas, but if they felt sexual attraction before it, they're gray-aces. Actually, you were the only one generalising, as well as strapping labels to people. Hence my greenie. This being said, let's keeps this being a productive convo that helps the OP, since that's what we're for, yeah? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
James121 Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 On 27/01/2017 at 3:39 AM, Smixysmoo said: I've been floating around this website for a few days, because I think I'm either asexual or a sex repulsed heterosexual. I was wondering, if it's not too much trouble, if I could explain my situation, and get your opinion on it? It would help a lot. Thank you. Alright, so, like most teenage girls (16), I've had crushes before, but never on guys at my school or guys I knew, they were always guys from anime, from books, and very rarely, from TV shows. I can find guys attractive in real life (it's not very often but I can), but the thought of kissing or hugging or having sex with them is disgusting to me. I do masturbate (so I have a libido, albeit not strongly), but when I fantasize, it's always like I'm floating above two people having sex, not ever me having sex. The thought of me kissing or having sex with someone is disgusting to me. I don't even really like physical touch in general, ESPECIALLY romantic (I can manage it if it's from a family member or friend). From this, should I conclude I'm asexual, or a sex repulsed heterosexual; or, could I perhaps go with either one? Your input really helps, it really does... and thank you so much for reading. It seems to me that you are a sexual but due to your age you simply aren't ready to comprehend the physical side of sex. Maybe it scares you right now. Give it 5 years and it may well be that you are no longer imagining floating above people having sex and more the case that you are imagining being the one having sex. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ettina Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 Have you heard of autochorrissexual? That's a label for people who like to fantasize about sex but the thought of actually being involved in the activity (even fantasizing about being involved in it) turns them off. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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