aPerfectCircle Posted October 1, 2003 Share Posted October 1, 2003 Hi :) I have been reading these boards for a while. Never had the guts to post anything because Im not sure how to word what I want to say. I am F 21, Australia, and I have Aspergers. All my life I thought I was a freak. Not only lack of sexual desire...but utter disgust at anything mildly sexual. I cant relate or understand sexuality at all. Everyone thought I had been raped in childhood...but nothing like that has ever happened, which made it harder to understand why I was the way I was. My parents told me they had to force me to hug them as a child, as I didnt understand why I needed to do it. Anyway, I found this place and I dont feel so alone! My problem is about 4 months ago I met someone..("the one") and we fell in deep, intense love instantly, something I thought could never happen. I told him of my problem, he didnt realise the extent of it for a while but has caught on. Although the relationship was so intense I felt like I knew him for years after 1 minute, it took me 3 weeks just to hold his hand. We hug alot, deeply and intensly. I kissed him twice, didnt enjoy it at all...felt awful. I love him more than anything, think he is beautiful but have no sexual urges towards him. Most people tell me that means I dont love him but its quite the oppisite! I am very lucky as he told me he loved me more than anything and if took me a year to be able just to kiss him, he would wait! (God I am blessed). But I think he believes I will eventually trust him enough to do sexual things. I tried telling him its not about trust, its aboutl lack of understanding and disgust at sexuality. I dont need to explain any of what I feel about sexuality to any of you, these boards sum it up! :) I *want* to be able to kiss him and enjoy it. I want to know that one day I could become even a bit sexual. *sigh* Anyway that is my ranting. I could probably sit here and type a millions pages of what I want to say. Thanks for listening. xxxoo APC 2012@nodeception.com Link to post Share on other sites
xena_trade_center Posted October 1, 2003 Share Posted October 1, 2003 welcome! hope to see you around the borad and don't be afraid to post.... Link to post Share on other sites
Jayann Posted October 1, 2003 Share Posted October 1, 2003 Hello and welcome! I think it's lovely that you've got such a close relationship with someone, the key now is making sure you're both completely clear on your intentions (ie what you do, and do not wish to do in this relationship.) I'd say that if your explanations are countered with disbelief, send him on over here and have him read about others who have a lot in common with you! Hope to see you around the board! :D Link to post Share on other sites
fluffy_hime Posted October 1, 2003 Share Posted October 1, 2003 yay! i get to welcome another newbie! the relationship sounds awesome (minus the kissing part of course) :-p julie said all that needs to be said, so...see ya around. Link to post Share on other sites
wombat Posted October 2, 2003 Share Posted October 2, 2003 HEY! Welcome! Great to see you've come to terms...EVEN GREATER to here that your in a stable realtionships with someone you love! WAY TO GO! *Gives you a little "WoMBaT" Dance* Anyway, WELCOME! Link to post Share on other sites
Brenya Posted October 2, 2003 Share Posted October 2, 2003 APC..............welcome (even though i am like never here anymore) i LOVE your avatar, how totally beautiful :D Link to post Share on other sites
Cate Perfect Posted October 2, 2003 Share Posted October 2, 2003 [staring at PerfectCircle's Avatar] Pretty. Oh, hi, welcome to the board. It's great that you have someone you love. Cate Link to post Share on other sites
Gorax Posted October 2, 2003 Share Posted October 2, 2003 Welcome, PerfectCircle! :D I hope your relationship continues working out excellently in the future. Your avatar is great but ehh . . . It's kind of big :? Would it be possible to resize it a little? (if not, I'm sure one of us can resize it for you) Keep posting :) Link to post Share on other sites
aPerfectCircle Posted October 2, 2003 Author Share Posted October 2, 2003 thanks everyone for making me feel welcome ! :) Link to post Share on other sites
marleyslimit Posted October 3, 2003 Share Posted October 3, 2003 welcome! :D Link to post Share on other sites
wombat Posted October 3, 2003 Share Posted October 3, 2003 DUDE! YOUR AVATAR IS BEAUTIFUL! *Drool* *points a sword at any sexual who took that the wrong way* Link to post Share on other sites
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