Stew879

Can demisexual people have crushes

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Stew879

I can have a romantic crush on someone when I don't know them, but don't have a sexual interest until I know them very well. 

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nanogretchen4

For me the romantic feelings and sexual interest usually happen simultaneously. They both happen rarely, and only for people I've known for more than a year. Other demisexuals seem to fall in love more quickly yet don't want sex with that person until later if at all.

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Snao Cone

It depends on whether you feel like you could go the rest of your life without sex despite wanting that person romantically. Basically, sex doesn't come to mind at all for what you desire for that person...until well into the relationship when it does. If your sexuality is present even when you feel the need to wait - like "I desire sex but I'm not comfortable with having it with this person yet" - then that isn't necessarily demi as much as it is a slow start. If you don't feel any desire for any sex until the object of your romantic affection flips on a switch months into bonding with them (whether in a romantic relationship or not) then that's pretty clearly demi.

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Ailin CS

I've had plenty of crushes and from time to time I still do. I think as a demi, romantic attraction can confused the heck out of you sometimes. In my case, the moment I interact with the person and their personality is not to my liking, the crush goes away and the romantic attraction disappears. But if I'm attracted to their personality, the crush continues and if it evolves eventually it might develop into sexual attraction... then again it might not.

 

So yup, I think demisexual people can have crushes. I do.

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WhenSummersGone

If they are a romantic demisexual then yes, for sure. I have had many crushes but very few I wanted to be sexual with.

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okir fokir

Yes? Why not?

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TheDemi_Urge
On 1/4/2017 at 5:22 PM, Stew879 said:

I can have a romantic crush on someone when I don't know them, but don't have a sexual interest until I know them very well. 

Yep that sounds like me! Romantic crushes were a fairly regular occurrence but I didn't develop any sexual feelings toward my now fiance until long into the relationship as it got more serious

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Ettina

Demisexual and demiromantic are separate things (although some people are both). So someone who is demisexual but fully alloromantic would have romantic crushes but only feel sexual attraction to people they're really close to. 

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EmFairy

Sure, romantic attraction is not automatically sexual attraction.

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shrugemote

I'm demiromantic (possibly demisexual? but just ace for now) and I've had crushes. It takes a lot of emotional investment before that happens for me though. I've never had like a strong desire to have sex with someone. The only time I came close to that was one time I briefly considered the idea of sex with my crush and wasn't too weirded out by it... like a "yeah I guess I'd be cool with that" kind of feeling ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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Sherlocks
On 1/4/2017 at 9:22 AM, Stew879 said:

I can have a romantic crush on someone when I don't know them, but don't have a sexual interest until I know them very well. 

 

Demisexual means need to have a connection already. 

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Puck

Yep! I am ace and have romantic crushes decently regularly, but I never desire sex with the person I like.

 

If you are demi, you can totally have the same kind of crushes I have, but later as you get to know them you might develop a desire for sex with them.

 

People are endearing for their personalities, not just their bodies :P 

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Dia Nicole

Yeah demisexual people can have crushes. I identify as demisexual/biromantic and I've had many crushes and even dated. I Just never felt any romantic attraction in those relationships except one and that was after being friends for 5 years and then dating for 2 yrs.

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Vincisomething

Yes, we can. For me, crushes come before any strong romantic attraction, so when I have crushes, there's still no sexual attraction.  Crushes are usually very fleeting (I think the shortest I had was a week?). The closest I got to a romantic attraction was a prolonged crush lmao, but it ended up developing into a friendship.

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demi_as_hecc

I can absolutely relate to this. I've identified as demisexual for a while now but I've always had "crushes" and they've never sprouted into anything sexual until now, after dating my boyfriend for a long time. I've only ever felt romantic attraction when I have crushes, but when I read or watch a video of someone who identifys as demisexual, they always say they never had crushes. 

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Celyn
2 hours ago, demi_as_hecc said:

when I read or watch a video of someone who identifys as demisexual, they always say they never had crushes. 

Wow, this surprises me. As a demi myself, I have plenty of crushes, I would say a normal amount. 

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Madao

My Demi-sexual friend hasn't mentioned anything real life crushes, but she has plenty of celebrity crushes. I didn't know she was demi till she told me last week. 

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Snao Cone
2 hours ago, Madao said:

My Demi-sexual friend hasn't mentioned anything real life crushes, but she has plenty of celebrity crushes. I didn't know she was demi till she told me last week. 

I have a friend who I think is like this. I've known her for over 20 years, and she always got huge crushes on celebrities, but hasn't had or needed a lot of relationships in real life. I haven't talked to this friend much about sexuality lately, but I think if we did come upon this topic she would identify with demisexuality.

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All The Thoughts

I think everyone’s done a pretty decent job explaining this! You can feel romantically attracted to them, it’s the “sexual” part that’s important in this case. Demisexual people don’t really feel much of any sexual attraction with that person until they get to know them better. You can for sure have a crush on them and still be demisexual if it’s romantically!

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