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Tokophobia: Fear of Pregnancy and Childbirth


Crystal7

Tokophobic aces?  

153 members have voted

  1. 1. Are you an asexual or gray-asexual person who experiences tokophobia?

    • Yes
      75
    • No
      44
    • Unsure
      32
    • I am not asexual or gray-asexual.
      5
  2. 2. Are you an allosexual person who experiences tokophobia?

    • Yes
      4
    • No
      27
    • Unsure
      10
    • I am asexual or gray-asexual.
      99

This poll is closed to new votes


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reading through the comments, I'm so glad I'm not alone.

 

I don't think I "fear" it as much as I'm utterly disgusted by it. I'd rather jump off the highest bridge than incubate that Parasite inside me. I'd rather slit my wrists than go through child birth.  all of it is just so repulsive.

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I can't get pregnant obviously but the idea of making a woman pregnant has always repulsed me. I wouldn't really call it a phobia though. 

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I have a couple thousand put away in a savings specifically for covering abortion costs, so yes, you could say I've got something like a phobia for it. 

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I just learned pregnancy reduces the grey matter in your brain...and I'm kind of horrified.

 

"The researchers found that the new mothers experienced gray matter reductions that lasted for at least two years after birth. This loss, however, is not necessarily a bad thing (according to Hoekzema, “the localization was quite remarkable”); it occurred in brain regions involved in social cognition, particularly in the network dedicated to theory of mind, which helps us think about what is going on in someone else’s mind—regions that had the strongest response when mothers looked at photos of their infants. These brain changes could also be used to predict how mothers scored on the attachment scale. In fact, researchers were able to use a computer algorithm to identify which women were new mothers based solely on their patterns of gray matter loss. Gray matter loss was not seen in new fathers or nonparents."

 

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/pregnancy-causes-lasting-changes-in-a-womans-brain/

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Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet
10 minutes ago, Crystal7 said:

I just learned pregnancy reduces the grey matter in your brain...and I'm kind of horrified.

 

"The researchers found that the new mothers experienced gray matter reductions that lasted for at least two years after birth. This loss, however, is not necessarily a bad thing (according to Hoekzema, “the localization was quite remarkable”); it occurred in brain regions involved in social cognition, particularly in the network dedicated to theory of mind, which helps us think about what is going on in someone else’s mind—regions that had the strongest response when mothers looked at photos of their infants. These brain changes could also be used to predict how mothers scored on the attachment scale. In fact, researchers were able to use a computer algorithm to identify which women were new mothers based solely on their patterns of gray matter loss. Gray matter loss was not seen in new fathers or nonparents."

 

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/pregnancy-causes-lasting-changes-in-a-womans-brain/

*Gives Hugs*

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3 minutes ago, Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet said:

*Gives Hugs*

*Hugs Back*

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I'm not too enthused about giving birth (I assume it'll feel like my menstrual cramps but much more intense, and that sounds really terrifying) but I love the idea of being pregnant. The idea that I can grow an actual living human inside of me, and feel them moving in there, and know they can kinda dimly hear me - it just sounds so amazing. And of course once I'm done with pregnancy, I'll have a baby, which is one of the things I want most in life. To the point where I'm actively planning to get sperm donation so I can have a child.

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  • 2 months later...
SithAzathoth WinterDragon

I never want sex or to have children because I never want to go through horrid pain of either and I do not want to have any side affects after either of them. I rather live a completely child free life and be happy to roam freely and have no one to worry about. I rather put my career first as my only priority.

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I find anything to do with pregnancy and childbirth so disturbing and repulsive that I refuse to go to baby showers, and if I encounter a pregnant woman in public, I get extremely uncomfortable. I'm not really sure what causes it, but I've theorized that it stems from my dysphoria and/or the fact that I have been sexually abused.

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At this point in my life, I don't think I will ever want to carry a child (though this may change, I don't know). But I'm certainly not afraid to. Just don't want to when the world is overpopulated and there are kids who being shuffled through foster care systems who need good homes.

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<No longer active>

I'll just say, I'm not fully ace.

 

Being pregnant, the idea of it is horrifying. You have a thing. Growing inside you. As other commenters have said, it's like a parasite. And then it pushes it's way out of you. And you're expected to love it.

 

Also there's the fact that I'm not that good with kids for extended periods of time (how would I deal with a baby?), and I don't think I'm likely to marry somebody who can give me children biologically.

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SamwiseLovesLife
On 06/12/2016 at 11:46 PM, Snao Çoñé said:

I don't fear pregnancy or childbirth. I certainly don't want to live through them, but I don't have a phobia about it.

I feel the same. It's gross and I have no desire to ever experience it but I'm not afraid either.

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I'm not afraid to get pregnant/have children, in point of fact I would love to have 2-3 kids but as I don't earn enough for in vitro, am trying to get to a financially comfortable stability and the whole "ew sex" business, the whole thing is sort of a moot point.

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drjohnhwatson

I suppose that I do have that fear, that phobia.  I mean, I was late for my last period by four days (and mine are already long cycle lengths, like days between periods) and mine are usually sort of BAM like very punctual and I was terrified I somehow got pregnant even though I've never dated anyone and never had sex.  I don't want to be pregnant, at least not now.  I'm not financially or emotionally stable, and the thought of something living inside me and possibly killing me via complications is just utterly terrifying.  Sorry not sorry.

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  • 2 months later...

PSA--no offence intended.

 

I realize this has been touched upon, but I'd like to elaborate.  As someone with an actual phobia, let me say this: a phobia is a chronic fear beyond logical reason, classified as a mental disorder.  Encountering the cause of it, or even the thought of it, causes severe, often physical symptoms, which can be treated but never completely eliminated by carefully planned therapy.  I am completely repulsed by the idea of pregnancy/childbirth, and fortunately haven't had to witness it, or, God forbid, experience it, but if you call yourself phobic of it, you better fit the above description.   

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On 12/28/2016 at 2:47 PM, Crystal7 said:

I just learned pregnancy reduces the grey matter in your brain...and I'm kind of horrified.

 

"The researchers found that the new mothers experienced gray matter reductions that lasted for at least two years after birth. This loss, however, is not necessarily a bad thing (according to Hoekzema, “the localization was quite remarkable”); it occurred in brain regions involved in social cognition, particularly in the network dedicated to theory of mind, which helps us think about what is going on in someone else’s mind—regions that had the strongest response when mothers looked at photos of their infants. These brain changes could also be used to predict how mothers scored on the attachment scale. In fact, researchers were able to use a computer algorithm to identify which women were new mothers based solely on their patterns of gray matter loss. Gray matter loss was not seen in new fathers or nonparents."

 

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/pregnancy-causes-lasting-changes-in-a-womans-brain/

I know I'm late for this, but I would like to mention that these brain changes are not a bad thing at all, they actually improve your social skills. Losing gray matter is not always a bad thing, in fact it's an essential part of learning and brain development. I don't know if that makes you feel better, but I thought I'd bring it up. 

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Mezzo Forte

Can I really call it tokophobia if my fear of pregnancy comes from dysphoria? I think I'm genuinely more afriad of the rush of hormones that floods the body during pregnancy than the actual childbirth. Regardless, even if I were to choose to have biological kids, I could never do the pregnancy myself.

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I feel deep grief and sadness about not ever having experienced pregnancy and childbirth. I wanted to very badly but there is absolutely no way I can tolerate what you have to do to get the baby in there. I'm too old now to conceive a child naturally. I have looked into becoming an egg donor recipient but I don't know if I could handle it because I'm scared to death (absolutely terrified) of needles and invasive procedures and also, I'm not rich. I tried (yes, it exists) mail-order donor sperm but due to age-related infertility, it didn't work.

 

The poll results are interesting.

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  • 2 weeks later...
MagentaColouredTurtle

I'm not sure if in my case it's a phobia. I just find pregnancy very, very, VERY disgusting.

The idea of a penis entering my body sounds awful. The idea of a baby (way bigger than a penis, mind you) leaving my body sounds just dreadfull.

Plus, I really dislike the way pregnant body looks. 

----------------------------------------------------------

I feel like a very bad person for writing it.

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I'm not sure if this counts, but being male and realizing that no birth control measure is 100% effective makes me question why anyone who doesn't have the final say with respect to abortion would risk being sexually active.

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I guess to some degree. 

On 2017-3-31 at 9:12 AM, rivkael said:

 

Being pregnant, the idea of it is horrifying. You have a thing. Growing inside you. As other commenters have said, it's like a parasite. And then it pushes it's way out of you. And you're expected to love it.

This!!! So much.

No. Just no. Pregnant women, especially in pictures showing of their abnormal shaped bellies make me sick. Watching anything related to pregnancy in series or movies, heck childbirth!, makes me physically sick. I'd even prefer the sex scenes. How someone finds it desirable to go through a shit ton of pain only to be pestered with a tiny devil for the rest of their lives... it is beyond me. Children make me aggressive. Okay, most humans nake me aggressive.

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  • 2 weeks later...
everywhere and nowhere

I definitely have tokophobia. When I was 5 years old, two of the first books I read by myself where two little books for slightly older children about "where do babies come from". And my instinctive, visceral reaction was: NO WAY I'd ever go through this.

So I started openly declaring that I don't want to have children at that age and, 30 years later, I've never changed my mind. Sometimes children are completely serious and they really know what they want and what they don't want.

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  • 3 weeks later...
Strawberry ice cream

As far as I remember since early childhood I always had a huge tokophobia. 

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  • 2 months later...

It disgusts me the most...no...just everything relationship wise makes me sick...

 

Adopt a child? - sure...

 

Basically, I'd be dead in any other century - almost -

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Not exactelly fear, but it disgusts me. I am very glad i am asexual so it's not gonna happen.

Since i was a child I always felt weird towards it, and as i grew up i knew for sure i would never ever have children. Just nope!

The simple idea of having a human being growing inside me is imenselly repulsive. I cannot even think about that. Ew!:mad:

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On 28/06/2017 at 9:57 AM, mania said:

I guess to some degree. 

This!!! So much.

No. Just no. Pregnant women, especially in pictures showing of their abnormal shaped bellies make me sick. Watching anything related to pregnancy in series or movies, heck childbirth!, makes me physically sick. I'd even prefer the sex scenes. How someone finds it desirable to go through a shit ton of pain only to be pestered with a tiny devil for the rest of their lives... it is beyond me. Children make me aggressive. Okay, most humans nake me aggressive.

Nothing beautiful about it. It is hideous. I find it horrendous, the swollen bellies, and everybody around so happy as if that was a great acievement. Then i hate childbirth scenes even in movies, that horrifying moment, and then the screaming toothless thingie, ewww, i can´t stand newborn screams.

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  • 2 months later...

@Crystal7

 

This poll is being locked and moved to the read only Census archive for it's respective year. As part of ongoing Census organization, and in an attempt to keep the demographics of the polls current with the active user base at the time, the polls will last for one year from now on. However, members are allowed and even encouraged to re-start new polls similar to the archived ones if they like them.

 

iff, Census Forum Moderator

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