AVENites and their ideas of what is straight (TMI)

[R_1]

In AVEN, we often have discussion on whether heteroromantic asexuals are straight as people have different definitions of straight. Some people think heterosexuality is a required component to being straight, while others think all that is needed is a recurring patterns of being emotionally attracted to the members of the opposite sex/gender. Thus, I have decided to take on a new poll to test this with even more details than the last version this poll I did.

[Guest]

Straight:

[R_1]

No one picked other yet, I guess I got pretty good options and questions.

[Jeena]

I chose 'other' for the first question. I think other because heterosexuality is a necessary component of being 'straight' for people who believe sex is a pivotal part of a relationship. I would have chosen the option that says 'in some cases it's necessary, but in other's its not', but I wanted to clarify just what that meant to me. Plus it's heteroSEXUALITY not heteroROMANTICISM, those are two different things (though most times they are parallel to one another).

[Snao Cone]

For most of these I selected yes or for the most part. Being "straight" isn't always necessary for receiving the benefits of being perceived as straight.

[Guest]

you can be a heteroromantic asexual, you just can't be a heterosexual asexual.

"Straight" (or gay) could imply either sexual or romantic attraction, but it's up to the person themselves to use that word or not (keeping in mind if a heteroromantic asexual tells people they're "straight" people may just assume that person means "heterosexual" and maybe ask them out expecting a sexual relationship or whatever, so it's important to be clear if you're asexual regardless of whether you are using "straight" or "gay" to define your romantic orientation)

Other than that, it's up to the person to label themselves. I can't do it for them.

[SirEl]

Being labelled straight is up to the person themselves - people don't always tell you the truth or know themselves so how would you know if they're really straight?

Just because a boy-crazy 16 year old girl says she loves boys doesn't mean you instantly know how she feels about girls so she may be straight but she also may not. Gender identity can also affect how someone might label themselves. On another note, being a heterosexual homoromantic or biromantic doesn't necessarily make you straight either.

[Guest]

Is heterosexuality is a required component to being straight?

1. Yes, it is a required component to being straight.

A boy-crazy 16 years old teenage girl told you that she loves boys so much, but she doesn't want sex with boys and feel no sexual attraction to them. Is she's straight?

Asexual. Not straight.

There's a 81 years old man, and he told you that he feels sexually attracted for the very first time to a woman and only been into her that way just 2 times, but he always been emotionally interested into women. Is he's straight?

Gray-ace. His grayness is along hetero lines, though... so there is "some straightness".

There's a male, and a conversation with him led you to hear that he watches pornography, but he focuses on just the women in pornography. He admits he have no interest into actually getting some. Is he's straight?

Asexual. Not straight.

A woman tells a story that she has been with women and men, but in every of her relationships and activities has been with males, and she plays with other women to please the males in her relationships and she only love males. Is she straight?

100% straight/heterosexual.

A man told you that he oftens fantasized about being a woman screwing around other men, but he is only interested into having sex with women, and only interested into dating other women and he been that way for 40+ years. Is he's straight?

I can't decide there.

A wife tells you that she loves only men, and she loved only other males since she was 14 years old, and she doesn't want to have sex and never had it. Is she straight?

Asexual. Not straight.

A male loner told you that he loves women emotionally, but he never wants to have sex with a woman, nor he wants to date one, but he does like women very much. Is he straight?

Asexual. Not straight.

[Mychemicalqpr]

you can be a heteroromantic asexual, you just can't be a heterosexual asexual.

"Straight" (or gay) could imply either sexual or romantic attraction, but it's up to the person themselves to use that word or not (keeping in mind if a heteroromantic asexual tells people they're "straight" people may just assume that person means "heterosexual" and maybe ask them out expecting a sexual relationship or whatever, so it's important to be clear if you're asexual regardless of whether you are using "straight" or "gay" to define your romantic orientation)

Other than that, it's up to the person to label themselves. I can't do it for them.

Agreed.

I think for question five, we are missing the crucial bit of information about whether or not the woman is sexually attracted to any of the other women. If she is, then she's a technically a heteroromantic bisexual; if not, then she is an unarguably straight heteroromantic heterosexual.

[R_1]

Just because a boy-crazy 16 year old girl says she loves boys doesn't mean you instantly know how she feels about girls so she may be straight but she also may not.

Just from what I worded before I edited, yeah there's room, but it's still a good bet that she's likely just interested into boys considering heteronormativity is the norm.

Agreed.

I think for question five, we are missing the crucial bit of information about whether or not the woman is sexually attracted to any of the other women. If she is, then she's a technically a heteroromantic bisexual; if not, then she is an unarguably straight heteroromantic heterosexual.

If I had room, I would add that she say she's not really interested into women, but she's just doing it as a servitude for men and to sastify other men.

[cavalier080854]

Asexuality is not straight, nor is it homo. It is lack of orientation. My gay friends say that I'm straight, my female friends say I'm gay, and my straight male friends are not bothered. If they don't know and neither do I, then hence the lack of orientation. :( :( :(

[JAKQ7111]

To me, heterosexuality is a key component of straightness, and that seems to be the case according to many/most straight-identifying friends of mine.

1. This person shows signs of being straight, but as of now, I can't really make that call. She could develop heterosexual attraction later, but most people know their sexualities at age sixteen-ish, so she may just be ace.

2. I really have no idea with this guy. My guess is that he would probably be grey-ace or demisexual, and with lots of demis, it's hard to tell if they are "this-person's-gender" sexual, or just "this-person" sexual.

3. This guy sounds autochorissexual to me, at least somewhere on the asexual spectrum.

4. This one is the only one I am confident that I can call straight. She has fooled around with women, but that doesn't mean anything when it is just to please the men she really is attracted to.

5. I'm not sure, but I feel like this person is a closeted trans person, and also may be bisexual? I have no clue.

6. Yup. This person is super ace.

7. I'm not sure here. Not sure if this person is asexual, or if it is just his loner tendencies making him into a MGTOW or something. I have no clue.

[- - -]

eh this thread makes no sense, they are exactly the same thing. straight is a slang word for heterosexual, probably cos bent is (was?) a slang word for homosexual

if you are attracted to the opposite sex then you are heterosexual, i dunno why everyone on here has to make such simple things so complicated? :huh:

[Grumpy Alien]

Personally, I think words like "straight" are a bit vague and most people don't fit in those boxes 100% anyway

[cavalier080854]

Have you noticed that it is mainly the Americans who obsess about this sort of thing. Us British have a more laid back approach.

[deltaX]

In my opinion, I see straight as heterosexual and/or heteroromantic. If someone has both, then it's fair to call them straight. Otherwise, I think it's up to the person to decide if they feel straight enough to identify that way while being just heterosexual or just heteroromantic.'

Not that it matters to much to me, I am decidedly not straight, and I'm not super bothered by how others chose to identify.

[ChillaKilla]

Straight means heterosexual AND heteromantic.

Think of it this way: If someone is bisexual but heteromantic (or vice versa, it's just an example), we don't just dismiss them and call them straight. So why would we treat asexuality and/or aromanticism as a 'placeholder' instead of a legitimate orientation in of itself? Why does the presence of heterosexuality/heteromanticism in an aromantic/asexual person totally invalidate their cross-orientation?

Not to mention, it's extremely annoying when people call aroaces straight. It just doesn't make sense, and it's insulting on many levels.

Have you noticed that it is mainly the Americans who obsess about this sort of thing. Us British have a more laid back approach.

I can feel the superiority complex from across the Atlantic.

[JAKQ7111]

Straight means heterosexual AND heteromantic.

Think of it this way: If someone is bisexual but heteromantic (or vice versa, it's just an example), we don't just dismiss them and call them straight. So why would we treat asexuality and/or aromanticism as a 'placeholder' instead of a legitimate orientation in of itself? Why does the presence of heterosexuality/heteromanticism in an aromantic/asexual person totally invalidate their cross-orientation?

Not to mention, it's extremely annoying when people call aroaces straight. It just doesn't make sense, and it's insulting on many levels.

Because asexual/aromantic erasure is somehow excusable in these people's eyes because "they haven't experienced real mistreatment!"

I swear, if I had a dollar for every time I've had to justify my orientation and existence on AVEN alone, I would have enough money for a nice new shirt or something! Add in the off-AVEN "discussions" I've had, and it would probably be a whole new outfit!

[R_1]

I'm just gonna post my opinion, to me straight means having a long-trend inclination to engage into exclusively sexual and/or romantic relationships within members of the opposite sex/gender. I'm sure you can guess which options I voted for. With this definition, an asexual who is just into the members of opposite sex/gender romantically is straight regardless of not being heterosexual.

[TheLandsBeyond]

For most of them, especially the ones that appeared to be on the ace spectrum, I selected other because I think it would be that person's decision whether to identify as straight or not.

[WhenSummersGone]

I see straight as Heteroromantic and Heterosexual. Anything else is partly straight or hinting at straight.

[Guest]

Very interesting poll. I agree that I try not to decide the sexual and/or romantic orientations of others though. At the same time, however, I personally feel that hetero/cis something is required in order to be "straight".

[Sage Raven Domino]

My opinion in a nutshell:

Anyone who feels any kind of intimate attraction to people and whose all intimate attractions to people have been to a quasi-opposite gender*, is straight.

If at least some of one's intimate attractions (no matter if sexual, romantic, sensual, whichever) have been to someone of a gender that isn't one's quasi-opposite, one isn't straight.

The straightness of anyone who feels no intimate attraction to people whatsoever or that of a totally agender human or anyone whose gender isn't totally composed of male, female and agender, is undefined. This is to avoid difficult questions like whether an agender who is attracted only to agenders is straight or gay or something else.

* How to define the opposite gender of a nonbinary (but non-null) gender is a tough question. I think it's fine to include some small environment of the exact opposite, e.g. the exact opposite of a 70% female, 20% male, 10% agender human is a 70% male, 20% female, 10% agender person, but as there are so few of them, anyone who is e.g. 60-80% male, 15-25% female, 5-15% agender can be regarded as having a quasi-opposite gender to the former person's.

[aro_elise]

I chose 'unsure' for many of them, not for want of understanding, but for lack of information.  For example, experiences with or interest in having sex/dating doesn't determine attraction.  An allosexual person may not want to have sex, an aromantic person may desire a romantic relationship, etc.  The other main thing which stood out to me was the use of the word 'emotional'.  I got the impression it was supposed to equate to 'romantic', but aros like myself can certainly feel emotional (ex. platonic) attraction, which has no bearing on our orientations.  Unless I was able to answer the following two questions with fair certainty, I chose 'unsure': "are they sexually attracted to the opposite gender only?" and "are they romantically attracted to the opposite gender only?"  (even then, they could be gray, demi, etc., which would make them not entirely straight, though if they want to identify that way, that's their choice.)  

[SamwiseLovesLife]

I chose other for 7 as I believe she is Asexual, Heteroromantic as opposed to straight.

[Busrider]

I replied "other" in question #1, for the reason of the choices' bad wording. - IMHO heteroromantic + an absence of a contradicting sexuality is what defines straight.

Sexuality doesn't really matter. - If it exists, it is barely ever seen, so who should care?

[m4rble]

I chose, "straight for the most part," for most of these because I view hetero romantic or heterosexual as basically straight. To be honest, I don't really believe most of the women who claim the only reason they make out with other women is to please men, but that might be because I'm bitter that people use those cases to dismiss bisexuality even when it doesn't relate to the situation. 

On 11/15/2016 at 11:11 AM, ChillaKilla said:

Straight means heterosexual AND heteromantic.

Think of it this way: If someone is bisexual but heteromantic (or vice versa, it's just an example), we don't just dismiss them and call them straight. So why would we treat asexuality and/or aromanticism as a 'placeholder' instead of a legitimate orientation in of itself? Why does the presence of heterosexuality/heteromanticism in an aromantic/asexual person totally invalidate their cross-orientation?

Not to mention, it's extremely annoying when people call aroaces straight. It just doesn't make sense, and it's insulting on many levels.

I can feel the superiority complex from across the Atlantic.

That's a good point. Heteromantic aces are still straight in one dimension though as they're straight aces. 

[GiraffeSpots]

I kinda couldn't finish this one 'cause it felt like I was giving people lables, (I think I could have done it if the question was less perscriptive. "Is she straight" and "Is he straight" felt like I was saying they had to use that lable. Something like "is straight an accurate lable this person could choose for themselves" might have worked for me. I'm kinda pedantic, sorry.) but I do have an opinion to share~

 

If people have a form of attraction towards the oposite gender which they want to use as their identifier, I think it is perfectly fine for them to use the term "straight". Some of the examples seemed to be discribing people with romatic and sexual orientations that aren't the same, or multiple qualifiers. I wouldn't say any of those people couldn't use the word straight to identify themselves, but if they prefered to use one of their other identities like demi-sexual or ace of hearts, that would be fine too. Sorry if I broke your fence by sitting on it, it just so hapens to lie exactly where my opinion fits in with this matter.

[iff]

@Reptillian

 

This poll is being locked and moved to the read only Census archive for it's respective year. As part of ongoing Census organization, and in an attempt to keep the demographics of the polls current with the active user base at the time, the polls will last for one year from now on. However, members are allowed and even encouraged to re-start new polls similar to the archived ones if they like them.

 

iff, Census Forum Moderator