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Where are the Older Asexual men?


mari

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We (older men) are around. Probably many more of us than older asexual women. My impression is that older women, receptive to male companionship, are virtually always wanting a sexually active relationship.

If you are really interested in a non-sexual relationship then take out an ad in a dating group.

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For all men of any orientation asexuality is not looked on by our culture as a positive attribute. Men are supposed to want to have sex anytime, anywhere, anybody and many men (especially older ones) have internalized this as what it means to be a man.

Also, I suspect older guys are less likely to run across things like AVEN even if they are ace to a greater or lesser degree.

But we do exist. As to where, well, all ace folk are such a small minority we are spread thin geographically.

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" are virtually always wanting a sexually active relationship." I feel the same as you but with the men!!!

If you are really interested in a non-sexual relationship then take out an ad in a dating group. I did but 1st dating groups for aces are very few or inactive and 2nd men older that 30 there are like white elephants.

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For all men of any orientation asexuality is not looked on by our culture as a positive attribute. Men are supposed to want to have sex anytime, anywhere, anybody and many men (especially older ones) have internalized this as what it means to be a man.

Also, I suspect older guys are less likely to run across things like AVEN even if they are ace to a greater or lesser degree.

But we do exist. As to where, well, all ace folk are such a small minority we are spread thin geographically.

Thanks for answer! I agree with you about culture, so sadly will be difficult to share my life with someone. Geography (in my case) isnt a big deal, I have my life done and nothing that tie me.

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I exist.

My doctor warned me to move in with a bunch of pets; I'd tend to grow allergies against them :(

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As A-Critter says, ace men tend to be ridiculed so we keep quiet about it. Attitudes are slowly changing but it is difficult to change habits built up over a lifetime. Oddly being aromantic isn't as much of a problem. I've quite often had other men express envy at my single status, being able to do anything I want without having to take my family into account. Of course if they split up with their partner they are soon looking for someone else. You can't have it both ways guys...

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We (older men) are around. Probably many more of us than older asexual women. My impression is that older women, receptive to male companionship, are virtually always wanting a sexually active relationship.

...what? Why would asexual women WANT a sexually active relationship? And certainly not more than asexual men do.

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I'm around. Usually in the 50's thread as well as the musings forum. Otherwise I am working, dealing with extended family issues or riding a bike.

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Seems a few of us are in the 50s thread. :)

I'm not hiding or ashamed or anything; I post pretty regularly in certain threads and areas of AVEN. :)

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I'm an asexy beast! :p

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cavalier080854

According to the last AVEN census in 2014 women outnumber men by 5:1. We do exist, but we are only 0.166% of the population. I'm from the UK and 62 years young.

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Leftover_Right

Not sure what constitutes "older" (I'm 43), but I am male-bodied and ace/aro. I don't come here very often (I really don't think about the ace thing much, I'm having a hard time identifying with things I *don't* do or believe in), but it's a friendly group of people here, so do I enjoy reading the Older forums from time to time.

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As to the question:

"...what? Why would asexual women WANT a sexually active relationship? And certainly not more than asexual men do."

I agree that my message was a little muddled.

I did not intend to say that ASEXUAL women want a sexually active relationship...any more than asexual men would want one.

I intended to say that in the world of those who are (receptive to or) seeking a non-sexual relationship, there seem to be more older men (than older women) looking and making themselves available.

A woman in a dating site who is an older asexual woman is, from my experience, a unicorn.

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All my life I'very never got the thing about sex as a human priority. That old saying "a man's got needs" always seemed pretty stupid to me. I'll be 58 in Nov.. Haven't done much on this site because I'm not into conversing with kids.

It is a shame that a lot of us didn't know that our "category" was an option. I always was getting into fights with my exes because of my lack of sexual interest.

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Phantasmal Fingers

:ph34r: hmmmm

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  • 2 weeks later...

Checks mirror, sees grey streaks in my hair, confirms still alive. Yep. I exist. Often found welcoming people in the Welcome Lounge and in the 40's forum. Less active lately because the stars aligned and I have a relationship now!

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It's a shame there are so few homoromantic aces :(

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Well, I'm 61, definitely male,and I'm right here, here being New York City!!!

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If you are really interested in a non-sexual relationship then take out an ad in a dating group.

I am sorry, but where is this group?

Well, Craigslist has a category under dating called "strictly platonic." This would be one place to try. You have to have patience and stamina to put up with people who are pranksters and who either cannot read, or are unwilling to read or comprehend. Yet, there are real people as well if you are willing to separate the kernel from the chaff.

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Craigslist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would get a police background check if i met a man on that site.

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AliceinWunderland

Oh boy, Craigslist! I thought I'd seen it all until I went on there... Never again! Although I will say the craziness of it can be entertaining.

In terms of asexual dating, I'm sure there's a few sites Aven has got listed on this website (somewhere...) Acebook perhaps...? But I find some sites quite dead and lacking in diversity. It's hard enough for sexual people to find compatible sexual partners in an over-sexual world, I imagine our chances of finding ace partners are much slimmer because we are a considerably smaller demographic.

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  • 2 weeks later...

@AliceinWunderland, who said:

"Oh boy, Craigslist! I thought I'd seen it all until I went on there... Never again! Although I will say the craziness of it can be entertaining."

So why do you find that Craigslist is off-limits? Okay, there are people seeking specific and bizarre fetish interests. A common complaint, no doubt true, is that there are way too many guys (many, many married) looking for some kind of a short, quick fling. Another common complaint is that many guys send dick pics, for some inexplicable reason. Evidently these guys are modern day, electronic age, flashers...who get their kicks flashing their private parts to those whom they think will be shocked? Who knows? Unfortunately there are also messages sent by "bots."

Having said all of the above, there are real people too. Perhaps the fact that there are all types who post and respond means that your type is there as well.

You can start with doing emails for as long as you like, and then phone chats, and then agree to meet in a public place. Yes, you can get a background check as well if you are that cautious and unwilling to rely on your own instincts. Weird people who do weird things to people tend to be those who find easy marks such as prostitutes, drug addicts or such.

A good selective ad is one that says no married men and no dick pics (unless of course that is what you would enjoy!). Also a good ad will request to put in the subject area something to help winnow the idiots and bots, for example: name your favorite musician/actor/movie/trees/flowers or such in the subject area.

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