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1 hour ago, teenageliteraryhedgehog said:

Which would you say is the best for a 17 year old?

To wait until age 18 so one can legally use a dating site.

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natalieisasexual

i joined Asexualitic this morning but now when I click on the site it says 'FIle Not Found', has the site been taken down or is this just a temporary thing? Any one know anything about this?

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A lot of those sites are annoying as you'll have to subscribe to send messages, and then once you've sent something, you're relying on the person the other end having paid to be able to read your message. Given that many dating websites use the shady practice of bots to generate "interest", people tend to be cautious of subscribing. :(

 

Using any of the popular free ones is going to be a headache because of the strong weighting towards people you're likely incompatible with.

 

I tend to get the odd offer here and there in RL but from people who it's obviously not going to work with (given I'm in my 30's, people want to settle, have kids etc). It's frustrating having family and friends keep trying to set me up no matter how much I explain to them that I'm not "normal".

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
Elderflower

Dumb question maybe, but with all the enthusiasm for an in-house dating site why isn't there one? How about not using "dating" but "looking for friends, travel buddies, etc."?

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Regarding AVEN dating: Maybe a field on the profile would do it? Just something you can check to signal you're open to being 'approached' - and be able to include it in the existing member search. Having someone message you because they've noticed your posts might be a bit more organic than the "dating platform" paradigm anyway.

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9 hours ago, Tercy said:

Regarding AVEN dating: Maybe a field on the profile would do it? Just something you can check to signal you're open to being 'approached' - and be able to include it in the existing member search. Having someone message you because they've noticed your posts might be a bit more organic than the "dating platform" paradigm anyway.

I think that is a super cool idea! I don't know about everyone, but I will click on people's profiles all the time to see what other stuff they have posted on if I like their post in a thread. Something like that would be really cool to have on AVEN.

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On 7/16/2017 at 10:52 AM, Elderflower said:

Dumb question maybe, but with all the enthusiasm for an in-house dating site why isn't there one? How about not using "dating" but "looking for friends, travel buddies, etc."?

 

On 7/16/2017 at 11:20 AM, Tercy said:

Regarding AVEN dating: Maybe a field on the profile would do it? Just something you can check to signal you're open to being 'approached' - and be able to include it in the existing member search. Having someone message you because they've noticed your posts might be a bit more organic than the "dating platform" paradigm anyway.

 

On 7/16/2017 at 8:54 PM, Mal334 said:

I think that is a super cool idea! I don't know about everyone, but I will click on people's profiles all the time to see what other stuff they have posted on if I like their post in a thread. Something like that would be really cool to have on AVEN.

AVEN isn't a dating site and we typically discourage people from specifically hunting for partners. Many partners have found each other on AVEN, but they weren't expressly seeking.

 

There are parts of a person's profile that might hint at their availability (namely the "what are you looking for" section) but AVEN doesn't want the site to become a dating site. We have a lot of aromantics in the community and we wouldn't want them to be left out of the conversations.

 

But if you make connection with someone, start talking, and something blooms from there, then great!

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Guest Invisible Pumpkin
On 19/7/2017 at 6:40 PM, Puck said:

 

 

AVEN isn't a dating site and we typically discourage people from specifically hunting for partners. Many partners have found each other on AVEN, but they weren't expressly seeking.

 

There are parts of a person's profile that might hint at their availability (namely the "what are you looking for" section) but AVEN doesn't want the site to become a dating site. We have a lot of aromantics in the community and we wouldn't want them to be left out of the conversations.

 

But if you make connection with someone, start talking, and something blooms from there, then great!

I would have though that this isn't a dating site because it's a site for education and visibility of asexuality, not because there are aro people who shouldn't be excluded of conversation. :ph34r:

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15 minutes ago, Iam-me said:

I would have though that this isn't a dating site because it's a site for education and visibility of asexuality, not because there are aro people who shouldn't be excluded of conversation. :ph34r:

That is a mother totally valid reason!

 

Basically, there are lots of reasons we ain't a site for da dating :D

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Member116379

Is Asexualitic or whatever it's called just a dating site or is it a community for meeting new people? I want to sign up but don't necessarily want to if it's for dating as I have a boyfriend haha. It's asked me if I'm looking for a man or woman and I'm just like...neither..but there's no option for that 

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38 minutes ago, k_pixel said:

Is Asexualitic or whatever it's called just a dating site or is it a community for meeting new people? I want to sign up but don't necessarily want to if it's for dating as I have a boyfriend haha. It's asked me if I'm looking for a man or woman and I'm just like...neither..but there's no option for that 

Unless it has changed since I last looked into it, the emphasis is strongly on dating. You also have to pay to win.

 

If you just want to meet aces socially, you'll do better on AVEN than anywhere else I know. As aforementioned, Acebook has a small active community.

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Guest Invisible Pumpkin
9 hours ago, k_pixel said:

Is Asexualitic or whatever it's called just a dating site or is it a community for meeting new people? I want to sign up but don't necessarily want to if it's for dating as I have a boyfriend haha. It's asked me if I'm looking for a man or woman and I'm just like...neither..but there's no option for that 

Going Asexualitic, I don't think that it would be really positive for you, maybe? As you said you have a bf, also as @Tercy said, it's mainly for dating. However and despite Ace-book is not so active you can still join there tell that you are seeking for "Pals" and that you have a bf already, that would be enough to avoid any unwanted situation, hopefully. There are some aro members  in Ace-book seeking for friends and/or deeper connections too, also some asexy people who have found their partner either there or elsewhere but want to keep their profiles. Join if you are curios and if you don't like it you can always delete your account. :) 

 

 

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Additionally, AVEN can never be a dating site because we have user under 18.  There's no way to AVEN to legally be a dating site without excluding the 13-17 crowd.  Honestly though, even without the legal issue, having AVEN be a dating site would definitely take away from the educational aspects of the site, and exclude aromantics like me who do not feel comfortable being on a dating site.

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  • 1 month later...

As I mentioned a while ago I am now working on a decent dating site. I have written a fair bit about it on another thread. I meant to write it on this thread... Rather than just repeating myself, (and likely getting a nudge or something, I will just give you a link to my previous post. To read about project OX you can go HERE, if you want to get on there early, and help out in the development you can join HERE.

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I cant find a dating site that is actually free.They let you join for free but you have to pay to reply to people who want you to communicate with them.I cant pay.I have cash only.I have no banj account or credit or debit card.Can you please tell me if theres a site that truly is free?I really need to be with a fellow asexual.Out here in Mexico, the men make me sick.I dont want sex .I want companionship.Someone to take care of who will take care of me.I used to put up with sex but that doesnt last long.I end up resenting the other person.I want somebody who thinks like I do.Its vitally important now because I cant physically have sex now.Its not just my mind anymore.My body also says "no way".I want to be happy.Please help me if you can.Thank you.

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18 hours ago, canttouchme said:

I cant find a dating site that is actually free.They let you join for free but you have to pay to reply to people who want you to communicate with them.I cant pay.I have cash only.I have no banj account or credit or debit card.Can you please tell me if theres a site that truly is free?I really need to be with a fellow asexual.Out here in Mexico, the men make me sick.I dont want sex .I want companionship.Someone to take care of who will take care of me.I used to put up with sex but that doesnt last long.I end up resenting the other person.I want somebody who thinks like I do.Its vitally important now because I cant physically have sex now.Its not just my mind anymore.My body also says "no way".I want to be happy.Please help me if you can.Thank you.

Hi, Asexualitic has a free account option (that's what I have). You can post a profile and any contact info you are comfortable sharing so that people can contact you directly. You won't be able to view or send messages with the free account, but can send and accept friend requests, join groups, and participate in the forum. That's what I've done anyway. There are people from all over the world on that site. Good luck!

 

Also forgot ace-book.net. That one is free for messaging, though personally haven't had much luck on there. Same with OKCupid using the asexual orientation, I still got sexual people contacting me (really high unwelcome message volumes for women).

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3 hours ago, Rebecca. said:

Hi, Asexualitic has a free account option (that's what I have). You can post a profile and any contact info you are comfortable sharing so that people can contact you directly. You won't be able to view or send messages with the free account, but can send and accept friend requests, join groups, and participate in the forum. That's what I've done anyway. There are people from all over the world on that site. Good luck!

 

Also forgot ace-book.net. That one is free for messaging, though personally haven't had much luck on there. Same with OKCupid using the asexual orientation, I still got sexual people contacting me (really high unwelcome message volumes for women).

Thank you for your help.I will try your suggestions.but i think ok Cupid wanted money from me.Unless theres another site that uses "cupid"in its name.Thank you.

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I think I really want a relationship, even a marriage where we both take care of each other for the rest of our lives, but with no/little sex/romance components. Is it a niche or is Asexualitic the way to go?

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  • 1 month later...

You can try the ACEapp, it isn't explicitly for dating and a lot of people are searching for friends, but there are people looking for relationships there as well.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'd recommend AceApp. I know a few people who have met great mathces on there and I think with more people it could be really good.

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  • 2 weeks later...
SorryNotSorry

Well, one thing ace dating sites and ace meetup groups have going for them is that asexuality still carries enough of a stigma to deter Dating, Inc. from elbowing their way in and swallowing them up.

 

No empire wants to annex a leper colony, and in our case, that's a good thing.

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  • 3 weeks later...

So I just deleted my accounts on a few sites and it already feels like less of a burden. I’m down to.. AVEN, OKCupid, CuddleComfort, OneScene, and AceBook. I’m this close *pinches fingers* to deleting CC and OS. Sigh.

 

Why is finding likeminded people so freaking hard?!

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 12/8/2017 at 8:31 PM, C8H7N3O2 said:

So I just deleted my accounts on a few sites and it already feels like less of a burden. I’m down to.. AVEN, OKCupid, CuddleComfort, OneScene, and AceBook. I’m this close *pinches fingers* to deleting CC and OS. Sigh.

 

Why is finding likeminded people so freaking hard?!

I think part of it is we're such a small % of the general population.  I've seen some try to claim that Aces are 1% of the population and I don't buy that for a second.  I've met a lot of people in my life (in person) but no asexuals (that I know of).

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OKCupid apparently has no one in my area, so I deactivated my profile, although when I'm ready for a relationship I'd probably be okay with a LDR anyway so I may turn it back on. I'm checking out some of these sites now just out of curiosity even though I'm not really ready for anything romantic just yet. You never know when something will happen, so I'm keeping an open mind and it's good to know what's out there.

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On 10/11/2017 at 3:06 AM, Lordyloo said:

I'd recommend AceApp. I know a few people who have met great mathces on there and I think with more people it could be really good.

I agree 😊 it's a pretty good app but needs more people to join.

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I have looked into several asexual dating sites, I don't know if it's just me but I am just know finding out that I am Asexual and didn't know there was such a thing and thought it was just me. But I haven't found any men my age on any of the sites. I am 55 and either the men don't know, like me or .....? I don't know. 

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TheLastOfSheila
38 minutes ago, Kim4813 said:

I have looked into several asexual dating sites, I don't know if it's just me but I am just know finding out that I am Asexual and didn't know there was such a thing and thought it was just me. But I haven't found any men my age on any of the sites. I am 55 and either the men don't know, like me or .....? I don't know. 

Hi Kim4813, welcome. :cake:

 

I am a little older than you, but tried dating sites when I was in my 50s.  Based only on my own observations, nothing scientific at all, I think the playing field is very small for women who are 50+, for various reasons.  Most important for me in those days was finding a single man around my age.  Many of the men around my age were already taken.  The ones who were single, i.e., divorced, widowed, never married, seemed to be looking for younger women, like 35 or younger.  As far as middle-aged asexual men, that is an even smaller pool.  I think the issue there is that some people of our generation are only just learning about asexuality, and I have a feeling it is harder for men to have to declare themselves as asexual.  Men seem to be under much more pressure to prove themselves as sexual individuals, and probably don't get a lot of support when they do declare themselves to be asexual.  I am not saying that it isn't difficult for women as well, but perhaps for different reasons?  Anyway, I said all that to say that you are not alone in your experience, and it does not mean that there is anything wrong with you.  There simply aren't many older, asexual men (who are looking for a woman in their age group) out there. 

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Can anyone tell me if Asexualitic is worth it? I already made a profile and everything. I'm just not sure if I should pay the $15 or not. Last time I tried Match.com and it was an absolute waste.

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  • 2 weeks later...

those websites seriously require you to choose your gender, and only offer male and female. jeez

edit; sorry, some offered the 'other' option, nice :)

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