I dont understand why manogomy is so common?

[Fairystuff]

I still dont fully understand sexual attraction but could someone explain how manogomy is the mainstream? If the majority of the population are sexually attracted to and desire several different people, are you supressing a part of yourself to be in a manogomous relationship? Ive read several times that apprently manogomy is not natural to humans so im very confused as to why the majority choose to live this way?

If we looked at any other species on the planet and on the whole that species had manogomous relationships we wouldnt question if it was natural we would just observe that it is. So what is it with humans and manogomy, is it based on jealousy? Or some kind of brain washing and social conditioning?

Personally i feel naturally manogomous but im demisexual and im wondering if its different for a sexual person?

I must state here that this question is asked out of genuine curiosity, i mean no offense or judgement to absolutley anyone.

[El-not-so-ace]

Myself and many of my friends are monogamous by nature. We can only love one person at a time. Others can be attractive but we don't desire a relationship with them. It's like, why have a second seemingly good cake while you're still having your favorite one ever at that moment?

[Fairystuff]

Myself and many of my friends are monogamous by nature. We can only love one person at a time. Others can be attractive but we don't desire a relationship with them. It's like, why have a second seemingly good cake while you're still having your favorite one ever at that moment?

I understand only having one relationship/one love i just dont understand why having sex with someone else is not acceptable, i dont understand why open relationships arnt more common that manogomous ones because when two sexual people are in a relationship they are still desiring sex with other people or is that not the case?

[Torple]

Aren't penguins monogamous?

[Guest]

VoIes are monogaous for Iife.

Regarding peopIe, sex is a deepIy intimate, pIeasureabIe, emotionaIIy rewarding experience that some peopIe can onIy physicaIIy desire with a partner they Iove and trust (that's extremeIy common) .. Being sexuaI doesn't mean you just want to have sex with everyone and can happiIy spread that around. SOME sexuaI peopIe enjoy having muItipIe sexuaI partners, but some peopIe can IiteraIIy onIy innateIy desire sexuaI interaction with one person at a time, and that's aImost aIways the person they have an emotionaI bond with. Monoamory (onIy capabIe of romantic Iove for one person at a time) is an actuaI thing, and if you can onIy desire sex when in Iove (which contrary to what AVEN wouId have you beIieve, is an extremeIy common experience among sexuaI peopIe) then it's obvious that a desire for monogamy is just an innate aspect of your being.. you wouIdn't be abIe to function any other way. I know for me, it wouId cause me physicaI pain to try to be intimate with someone eIse when experiencing romantic feeIings fora different person, and I can't desire any form of intimacy when not experiencing romantic feeIings (again, common). AIso, it wouId hurt me to the very core of my being if the person I am experiencing those feeIings for had sex with someone eIse, because a naturaI aspect of monoamory is needing your partner to 100% reciprocate those feeIings. Giving someone eIse such a deepIy intimate form of pIeasure shatters that monogamous bond, and that experience can be so painfuI that peopIe have been known to end their Iives as a resuIt (an extreme exampIe but it does happen)

So for some peopIe, monogamy is not onIy compIeteIy naturaI, it's the onIy way they can be.

(AIso, being forced into monoamory/monogamy is just as painfuI for a naturaIIy poIy person as being forced into a poIy situation is for a mono person. This goes both ways!)

[Fairystuff]

Aren't penguins monogamous?

Not sure, but if the % of penguins in monogamous relationships was the same as the % of humans in monogamous relationships - we would state penguins are monogamous without questioning it.

Apparently monogamy is not a humans natural state and i agree with that because most humans feel sexual attraction to multiple people so why do they choose to be in closed relationships? Its not difficult for me to be monogamous and i have no temptation to have sex with someone else, if i did have those kind of feelings i wouldnt try and ignore my nature.

[Homer]

I understand only having one relationship/one love i just dont understand why having sex with someone else is not acceptable, i dont understand why open relationships arnt more common that manogomous ones because when two sexual people are in a relationship they are still desiring sex with other people or is that not the case?

I guess that it's mostly a cultural thing. Wouldn't be surprised if there were a lot of people out there who are in committed sexual relationships and still desiring intercourse with other people. Despite this being seen as cheating and/or a dealbreaker for a lot of people, it's still happening. So I guess that monogamy is rather cultural. We are trained to not follow our desires all the time (not just when it comes to sex).

[Fairystuff]

VoIes are monogaous for Iife.

Regarding peopIe, sex is a deepIy intimate, pIeasureabIe, emotionaIIy rewarding experience that some peopIe can onIy physicaIIy desire with a partner they Iove and trust (that's extremeIy common) .. Being sexuaI doesn't mean you just want to have sex with everyone and can happiIy spread that around. SOME sexuaI peopIe enjoy having muItipIe sexuaI partners, but some peopIe can IiteraIIy onIy innateIy desire sexuaI interaction with one person at a time, and that's aImost aIways the person they have an emotionaI bond with. Monoamory (onIy capabIe of romantic Iove for one person at a time) is an actuaI thing, and if you can onIy desire sex when in Iove (which contrary to what AVEN wouId have you beIieve, is an extremeIy common experience among sexuaI peopIe) then it's obvious that a desire for monogamy is just an innate aspect of your being.. you wouIdn't be abIe to function any other way. I know for me, it wouId cause me physicaI pain to try to be intimate with someone eIse when experiencing romantic feeIings fora different person, and I can't desire any form of intimacy when not experiencing romantic feeIings (again, common). AIso, it wouId hurt me to the very core of my being if the person I am experiencing those feeIings for had sex with someone eIse, because a naturaI aspect of monoamory is needing your partner to 100% reciprocate those feeIings. Giving someone eIse such a deepIy intimate form of pIeasure shatters that monogamous bond, and that experience can be so painfuI that peopIe have been known to end their Iives as a resuIt (an extreme exampIe but it does happen)

So for some peopIe, monogamy is not onIy compIeteIy naturaI, it's the onIy way they can be.

(AIso, being forced into monoamory/monogamy is just as painfuI for a naturaIIy poIy person as being forced into a poIy situation is for a mono person. This goes both ways!)

Im not sure it is extremely common since almost everyone i know in a relationship have desire and sexual attraction to others they just dont act on it or want to act on it because of the hurt it would cause to their partner. Theyve made a commitment to each other but it goes against their nature in most cases.

[Kuebiko]

Swans mate for life btw.

Also, monogamy is most common is western countries.

I think the reason for this is religion (aka Christianity). The "Western religion" (I'm exaggerating here but you get the point) is Christianity, which forbids polygamy. As such, more westernized countries tend to follow this monogamous trend.

I think Islam and Hinduism permits polygamy? (I might be wrong. There wasn't time to do research. Apologies.)

But logically, I think it's also because it's difficult for many people to maintain an open or polygamous relationship in a healthy way. I think people are prone to jealousy and uncertainty, even when they don't want to be, which are really the things that break a relationship. Most people probably want to spend as much time with the person they love, basically, and you can't really do that with polygamous relationships?

PS: I like to think Vulcans are polygamous, because jealousy is illogical, and having many kids and more brilliant minds is totally logical. I mean, population control, rite?

[SkyWorld]

I'm not too educated on the subject, I'll admit. But I recall there being a difference between polygamy and polyamory, right?

[Guest]

VoIes are monogaous for Iife.

Regarding peopIe, sex is a deepIy intimate, pIeasureabIe, emotionaIIy rewarding experience that some peopIe can onIy physicaIIy desire with a partner they Iove and trust (that's extremeIy common) .. Being sexuaI doesn't mean you just want to have sex with everyone and can happiIy spread that around. SOME sexuaI peopIe enjoy having muItipIe sexuaI partners, but some peopIe can IiteraIIy onIy innateIy desire sexuaI interaction with one person at a time, and that's aImost aIways the person they have an emotionaI bond with. Monoamory (onIy capabIe of romantic Iove for one person at a time) is an actuaI thing, and if you can onIy desire sex when in Iove (which contrary to what AVEN wouId have you beIieve, is an extremeIy common experience among sexuaI peopIe) then it's obvious that a desire for monogamy is just an innate aspect of your being.. you wouIdn't be abIe to function any other way. I know for me, it wouId cause me physicaI pain to try to be intimate with someone eIse when experiencing romantic feeIings fora different person, and I can't desire any form of intimacy when not experiencing romantic feeIings (again, common). AIso, it wouId hurt me to the very core of my being if the person I am experiencing those feeIings for had sex with someone eIse, because a naturaI aspect of monoamory is needing your partner to 100% reciprocate those feeIings. Giving someone eIse such a deepIy intimate form of pIeasure shatters that monogamous bond, and that experience can be so painfuI that peopIe have been known to end their Iives as a resuIt (an extreme exampIe but it does happen)

So for some peopIe, monogamy is not onIy compIeteIy naturaI, it's the onIy way they can be.

(AIso, being forced into monoamory/monogamy is just as painfuI for a naturaIIy poIy person as being forced into a poIy situation is for a mono person. This goes both ways!)

Im not sure it is extremely common since almost everyone i know in a relationship have desire and sexual attraction to others they just dont act on it or want to act on it because of the hurt it would cause to their partner. Theyve made a commitment to each other but it goes against their nature in most cases.

You know aImost everyone in the whoIe worId? A Iot of peopIe onIy desire sex with a romantic connection, it reaIIy is very, very common. Just because you don't know peopIe Iike that doesn't mean they're not everywhere (they are, someone in this thread aIready said aII their friends are naturaIIy monogamous)

Apparently monogamy is not a humans natural state

Of course there are many peopIe forcing themseIves into monogamy who don't want it, which sucks. But pIenty of us reaIIy are naturaIIy, innateIy monogamous and actuaIIy get pretty offended when peopIe say things Iike ''humans aren't naturaIIy monogamous'' Iike there is something wrong with us for onIy being capabIe of desiring sexuaI intimacy with one person for extended periods of time. It's Iike saying ''it's not naturaI to want to have sex with someone of the same gender as yourseIf'' (even though there are animaIs that do that, just as there are animaIs that are monogamous for Iife) .. It wouId be kinder if you stopped making bIanket statements about every human on Earth just because you see things a certain way from your own personaI experience. There are a Iot more humans out there than just you and 'most of the peopIe you know', and others in this thread have made it cIear that we and our friends are natuaIIy monogamous, so you can't deny it is in fact a thing and is reIativeIy common.

[Deebee]

Swans mate for life btw.

Amusingly enough they've actually been scientifically observed to cheat on each other at night =P

But regarding the topic, I honestly think it's partly down to habit and because monogamy is simpler and a lot less work. We all know what dealing with one romantic partner can be like - imagine multiplying that by three or more, and going about it in the open where they all know about each other. I am no expert, but my guess would be that for most people that'd probably be a bit of a daunting concept. It's also a bit more practical for raising a family in a society like ours, and while that may not factor big for many of us it's an important consideration for many. There are probably quite a few pragmatic reasons why it's the norm.

[dissolved]

I don't like sharing, nor being shared.

[Fairystuff]

VoIes are monogaous for Iife.

Regarding peopIe, sex is a deepIy intimate, pIeasureabIe, emotionaIIy rewarding experience that some peopIe can onIy physicaIIy desire with a partner they Iove and trust (that's extremeIy common) .. Being sexuaI doesn't mean you just want to have sex with everyone and can happiIy spread that around. SOME sexuaI peopIe enjoy having muItipIe sexuaI partners, but some peopIe can IiteraIIy onIy innateIy desire sexuaI interaction with one person at a time, and that's aImost aIways the person they have an emotionaI bond with. Monoamory (onIy capabIe of romantic Iove for one person at a time) is an actuaI thing, and if you can onIy desire sex when in Iove (which contrary to what AVEN wouId have you beIieve, is an extremeIy common experience among sexuaI peopIe) then it's obvious that a desire for monogamy is just an innate aspect of your being.. you wouIdn't be abIe to function any other way. I know for me, it wouId cause me physicaI pain to try to be intimate with someone eIse when experiencing romantic feeIings fora different person, and I can't desire any form of intimacy when not experiencing romantic feeIings (again, common). AIso, it wouId hurt me to the very core of my being if the person I am experiencing those feeIings for had sex with someone eIse, because a naturaI aspect of monoamory is needing your partner to 100% reciprocate those feeIings. Giving someone eIse such a deepIy intimate form of pIeasure shatters that monogamous bond, and that experience can be so painfuI that peopIe have been known to end their Iives as a resuIt (an extreme exampIe but it does happen)

So for some peopIe, monogamy is not onIy compIeteIy naturaI, it's the onIy way they can be.

(AIso, being forced into monoamory/monogamy is just as painfuI for a naturaIIy poIy person as being forced into a poIy situation is for a mono person. This goes both ways!)

Im not sure it is extremely common since almost everyone i know in a relationship have desire and sexual attraction to others they just dont act on it or want to act on it because of the hurt it would cause to their partner. Theyve made a commitment to each other but it goes against their nature in most cases.

You know aImost everyone in the whoIe worId? A Iot of peopIe onIy desire sex with a romantic connection, it reaIIy is very, very common. Just because you don't know peopIe Iike that doesn't mean they're not everywhere (they are, someone in this thread aIready said aII their friends are naturaIIy monogamous)

Apparently monogamy is not a humans natural state

Of course there are many peopIe forcing themseIves into monogamy who don't want it, which sucks. But pIenty of us reaIIy are naturaIIy, innateIy monogamous and actuaIIy get pretty offended when peopIe say things Iike ''humans aren't naturaIIy monogamous'' Iike there is something wrong with us for onIy being capabIe of desiring sexuaI intimacy with one person for extended periods of time. It's Iike saying ''it's not naturaI to want to have sex with someone of the same gender as yourseIf'' (even though there are animaIs that do that, just as there are animaIs that are monogamous for Iife) .. It wouId be kinder if you stopped making bIanket statements about every human on Earth just because you see things a certain way from your own personaI experience. There are a Iot more humans out there than just you and 'most of the peopIe you know', and others in this thread have made it cIear that we and our friends are natuaIIy monogamous, so you can't deny it is in fact a thing and is reIativeIy common.

Responses like this are what make me not want to post on Aven or the internet in general or even communicate with people full stop. I never made a blanket statement and i dont claim to know everyone in the world. Im a 28 year old intelligent woman and i purposely seek to understand others perspective of the world and their reality. My question is born from this very fact. Seeking answers ans the peespective of others is what open minded smart people do. It would be kinder if you respected me as a person with a right to ask questions. I experience the culture i am forced to live in and i will continie to ask questions until the day i die. Believe me there are more serious things to be offended about than my curiosity.

[Fairystuff]

VoIes are monogaous for Iife. Regarding peopIe, sex is a deepIy intimate, pIeasureabIe, emotionaIIy rewarding experience that some peopIe can onIy physicaIIy desire with a partner they Iove and trust (that's extremeIy common) .. Being sexuaI doesn't mean you just want to have sex with everyone and can happiIy spread that around. SOME sexuaI peopIe enjoy having muItipIe sexuaI partners, but some peopIe can IiteraIIy onIy innateIy desire sexuaI interaction with one person at a time, and that's aImost aIways the person they have an emotionaI bond with. Monoamory (onIy capabIe of romantic Iove for one person at a time) is an actuaI thing, and if you can onIy desire sex when in Iove (which contrary to what AVEN wouId have you beIieve, is an extremeIy common experience among sexuaI peopIe) then it's obvious that a desire for monogamy is just an innate aspect of your being.. you wouIdn't be abIe to function any other way. I know for me, it wouId cause me physicaI pain to try to be intimate with someone eIse when experiencing romantic feeIings fora different person, and I can't desire any form of intimacy when not experiencing romantic feeIings (again, common). AIso, it wouId hurt me to the very core of my being if the person I am experiencing those feeIings for had sex with someone eIse, because a naturaI aspect of monoamory is needing your partner to 100% reciprocate those feeIings. Giving someone eIse such a deepIy intimate form of pIeasure shatters that monogamous bond, and that experience can be so painfuI that peopIe have been known to end their Iives as a resuIt (an extreme exampIe but it does happen) So for some peopIe, monogamy is not onIy compIeteIy naturaI, it's the onIy way they can be. (AIso, being forced into monoamory/monogamy is just as painfuI for a naturaIIy poIy person as being forced into a poIy situation is for a mono person. This goes both ways!)

Im not sure it is extremely common since almost everyone i know in a relationship have desire and sexual attraction to others they just dont act on it or want to act on it because of the hurt it would cause to their partner. Theyve made a commitment to each other but it goes against their nature in most cases.

You know aImost everyone in the whoIe worId? A Iot of peopIe onIy desire sex with a romantic connection, it reaIIy is very, very common. Just because you don't know peopIe Iike that doesn't mean they're not everywhere (they are, someone in this thread aIready said aII their friends are naturaIIy monogamous)

Apparently monogamy is not a humans natural state

Of course there are many peopIe forcing themseIves into monogamy who don't want it, which sucks. But pIenty of us reaIIy are naturaIIy, innateIy monogamous and actuaIIy get pretty offended when peopIe say things Iike ''humans aren't naturaIIy monogamous'' Iike there is something wrong with us for onIy being capabIe of desiring sexuaI intimacy with one person for extended periods of time. It's Iike saying ''it's not naturaI to want to have sex with someone of the same gender as yourseIf'' (even though there are animaIs that do that, just as there are animaIs that are monogamous for Iife) .. It wouId be kinder if you stopped making bIanket statements about every human on Earth just because you see things a certain way from your own personaI experience. There are a Iot more humans out there than just you and 'most of the peopIe you know', and others in this thread have made it cIear that we and our friends are natuaIIy monogamous, so you can't deny it is in fact a thing and is reIativeIy common.

Responses like this are what make me not want to post on Aven or the internet in general or even communicate with people full stop. I never made a blanket statement and i dont claim to know everyone in the world. Im a 28 year old intelligent woman and i purposely seek to understand others perspective of the world and their reality. My question is born from this very fact. Seeking answers ans the peespective of others is what open minded smart people do. It would be kinder if you respected me as a person with a right to ask questions. I experience the culture i am forced to live in and i will continie to ask questions until the day i die. Believe me there are more serious things to be offended about than my curiosity.

I also fail to see how i denied monogomy was a fact when i very clearly stated i am monogomous myself and also questioned the fact humans are not classed as monogomous despite the majority of them being in monogomous relationships!

[MoraDollie]

Scientists have done some studies on mono vs poly when it comes to number of partners, effectively it comes down to a few factors:

1. Religious influences growing up (if exposed to those who are pro-poly VS pro-mono)
2. Social influences (if your parental figures are ok with more than one partner, or repulsed by it)
3. Media influence (aka there's no such thing as poly according to USA mainstream, you only have one partner, if not, you're cheating)
4. Social/peer pressure (social media any time there's an article about poly, 5% are normally people just screaming IT'S CHEATING)
5. Your own family history (possibly genetics basically)
6. Hormonal structure (the whole endocrine system in your body, some people are more hormone of a certain kind MAY be prone to poly based relationships)

There was an interesting article not too long ago that basically said monogamy evolved to be "a thing" due to STDs risks of our neanderthal ancestors. Humans started pairing to strictly one partner, to try to lessen risk of STDs and other types of body fluid risks being spread.

You also have 'grey areas" where people (like myself) say "I am open to being very deeply emotionally connected to people, but that doesn't mean I desire a romantic relationship with them" while to average person they might think "oh you have 2 partners?" To me, no. This is why alterous attraction is so important (the "gray area" between friendship and romance)/

[Guest]

I'm about as non-monogamous as it gets (I wouldn't ever consider a relationship an option that isn't agreed to be open/poly from day one - which was the case in my 'ship with R., too, for the entirety of our six and a half years together)... and I pretty much fully agree with what Ficto said, above.

I have no idea how big the percentages would be if all the societal pressure went away, and won't hauard a guess. There would probably be some more people living poly 'ships than there are now (although I've been positively surprised to hear a few days ago that some study estimated that as many as 20%of all people in modern day America had experience with ethically non-monogamous relationships, already! :D :O ); but I'm certain that there would still be a quite sizeable number of naturally monogamous folks who would always stick to being mono, TYVM... because they just wouldn't be able to be happy otherwise, much as I could not be happy in mono/closed arrangements.

[Fairystuff]

So tiring that people immediately jump to conclusions and judgements without even reading the question properly, twisting your words and subtly trying to invalidate your sexuality. For those who understood the question and responded appropriatly i thank you to those who get on their soap box and spout off at every opportunity please go away. Try to understand that some people like to ask questions and expand their perspective its how progress is made.

[ChillaKilla]

I'm not too educated on the subject, I'll admit. But I recall there being a difference between polygamy and polyamory, right?

Yeah. Polygamy is the act of one person having multiple spouses, often as a status/wealth symbol in a patriarchal society (and there may not even be consent from all parties involved). Polyamory is just more than two people in a relationship, is always consensual (if it's not, that's just cheating) and it can take many forms.

[Tarfeather]

I don't personally know any monoamorous person, or anyone who claims to be, so there is no way for me to even guess whether it is a real thing or not.

But I do know many people who naturally experience attraction and desire for someone other than their primary partner, and consciously choose not to act on it.

Frankly, it's a common thing in our society, can we at least acknowledge that?

[johnistss]

For the same reason most people usually hang out with the same friends.

[Guest]

I don't personally know any monoamorous person, or anyone who claims to be, so there is no way for me to even guess whether it is a real thing or not.

*raises hand*

I have never been able to crush, look at, think about, etc anyone else when I am attached to someone. It isn't a decision, it just doesn't happen. If for some reason romantic feelings develop for someone other than my partner, it immediately kills the ones I had for my partner. But, typically it's the romantic feelings for my partner die and then I can begin to develop them for someone else. I've never understood the whole temptation of other people thing, because to me... I am with the person I am with, that's it and I can't think of other people that way. It's kind of like sex, I never desired it, so I don't get it being a temptation either. I only know other people find either tempting because I have talked to them. It's not something I really "get" though, since it's so foreign to me. It actually took me a while to figure out how a partner could care about me, if they were so interested in other people, because of how I am. All other humans literally become "platonic only" by default, even if I try to change that it doesn't work, kissing a guy when I am romantically interested in another guy ends up feeling like kissing my brother, ick. I only started to understand how it works after dating someone with poly tendencies.

But... I only know one or two people like myself. Most the people I know look at, drool over, talk about, fantasize about, etc other people. However, that interest in others doesn't translate to "I want to actually have sex with that person", either. My first boyfriend liked to look, would find other people attractive... but even if he had been given free reign, he didn't want the other person that way. Sex with someone he's not bonded to is just not appealing to him, no matter how attractive and desirable they are, even when he's single. So, in some cases it's the fact they truly don't want to. In some cases it's because they value their partner over casual sex and would lose said partner, if it's a monogamous relationship. For people who are poly, being forced into monogamy is no fun. For monogamous people like myself, being in poly relationships would be no fun. Part of it is probably social as well, certain couples who have transitioned to poly were only monogamous by default because poly is taboo and monogamy is considered the norm.

As for monogamous animals - swans and most other "monogamous" animals are socially monogamous. Swans breed with other swans than their mate and come back to their mate afterwards. So do most monogamous animals. Voles are the poster animal for "true monogamy" - both social and sexual, as Pan mentioned.

[Tarfeather]

Serran, I'm curious, if you were attracted to someone, and then you found out they were in a committed relationship with someone else, would you still want to hug / cuddle them, or would that kill your desire immediately?

[Guest]

Serran, I'm curious, if you were attracted to someone, and then you found out they were in a committed relationship with someone else, would you still want to hug / cuddle them, or would that kill your desire immediately?

That would pretty much kill my desire. My ex began crushing hard on another girl (the poly leaning ex) and that made me lose 100% interest in doing anything romantic with him. I wasn't mad, I wasn't jealous, I just literally stopped feeling any romantic feelings towards him and he became a platonic friend pretty much instantly. I tried to power through it, be understanding and stay together but I just couldn't figure out how to get them to come back.

This is one reason I couldn't do the poly thing. Once the important (to me) romantic things become shared, my feelings just disappear. And, as far as I know, there is no getting them back. We can still be friends, cause I like the person and all. But, romantic? Nope.

[WhenSummersGone]

I usually find when I like someone a lot they are the only person I can think about really. Someone you have a great connection with/attraction to. It's hard to find more than one person I can really like at a time so to me that plays a big part in my monogamy. To me it is natural.

[El-not-so-ace]

Yeah, there's a huge difference between attraction and desire. Some of my friends crush on actors but put them in the same room as them, sure they'll get all excited, but it won't transfer into them sleeping with them. From what I've heard, some guys and girls like variety even just in looking at others since it changes the monotony in life.

You know how some older couples spice up their lives? In addition to new activities, they might try new things in bed, including roleplaying out some fantasies. Does that mean that the person is not monogamous if they like playing different roles and characters just with their significant other?

[cupid69]

Swans mate for life btw.

Also, monogamy is most common is western countries.

I think the reason for this is religion (aka Christianity). The "Western religion" (I'm exaggerating here but you get the point) is Christianity, which forbids polygamy. As such, more westernized countries tend to follow this monogamous trend.

I think Islam and Hinduism permits polygamy? (I might be wrong. There wasn't time to do research. Apologies.)

But logically, I think it's also because it's difficult for many people to maintain an open or polygamous relationship in a healthy way. I think people are prone to jealousy and uncertainty, even when they don't want to be, which are really the things that break a relationship. Most people probably want to spend as much time with the person they love, basically, and you can't really do that with polygamous relationships?

PS: I like to think Vulcans are polygamous, because jealousy is illogical, and having many kids and more brilliant minds is totally logical. I mean, population control, rite?

I've traveled the world and the statement about monogamy being Western or Christian is not true. There are of course people of all races that have threesomes and foursomes and God knows what else but on the whole, monogamy is best for bringing up families and minimising jealousies as you state. One has to remember that the formation of monogamy was perfected way before any religion. Religions are used to control populations, partly using fear as a tool. Muslims are the greatest users, population-wise, of polygamy. It gives more control to men, full stop.

[Guest]

. Does that mean that the person is not monogamous if they like playing different roles and characters just with their significant other?

As Iong as it's onIy the two of you invoIved (regardIess of which roIes you're pIaying) it's stiII monogamous ^_^ (aIso a monogamous coupIe may sometimes roIepIay an imaginary third party to spice things up a IittIe but it's stiII monogamy if it's strictIy Iimited to fantasy)

[OutsideObserver]

Polyamory is a lot of work. Even people who aren't innately opposed to it emotionally don't always pursue it.

[cupid69]

Polyamory is a lot of work. Even people who aren't innately opposed to it emotionally don't always pursue it.

Is this comment down to experience? Which leads me to another question I have always wanted answered: how many polygamous associations are where the men are in the plural?