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timewarp

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First things first, I am leaving the Project Team as of now. To be honest, I am totally sick of the way this community continuously attacks people who are volunteering to bring the community forward. It goes totally beyond my understanding though when it comes from former staff who should know better. The only point I agree with is that a public callout should have consequences. In my point of view these consequences are exactly what you see here. Me and my dignity deserve it.

Yes, constructive criticism is totally okay. In fact, I got a lot of very useful feedback over the last few weeks. But most of you wouldn't know that, because the people who gave me feedback did it in private, in a friendly and constructive tone. Of course this is a forum, so people feel entitled to all kinds of public shaming, and as typical with anything online, they don't even bother to check the facts.

And no, I do not think it is necessary to make continuous announcements of what I'm currently working on. The way the Research Approval Board works, you all would be bored to death. If the only reason for making announcements is to appease members who suspect we are not doing anything, then ask first for heaven's sake. Every member of staff can easily be reached via pm.

Also keep in mind that volunteers can step down at any given moment, which is a healthy thing to do when you are not okay with the conditions you work in. And that is precisely what I am doing right now.

Now I will go back to where I came from and where I feel comfortable, which is Arcade/JFF and the amazing and incredibly friendly offline ace community in the UK.

EDIT: Reconsidered and staying. See comment below.

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I agree that the thread can definitely be phrased better, but still, it's true that certain parts of the PT were slaking. TBF the thread doesn't appear to be directed to you, but if you feel that you need to leave, I'm not in the position to stop you

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Yay, more time to spend banning people. :)

Seriously, criticisms were made in an inappropriate way IMO.

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Ack sorry to read this timewarp - you already brought a lot to the PT, especially the research post, in a short time. You have to do what is right for you but I hope you will reconsider. Everyone needs to let off steam every now and then.

I will admit I've felt the same way at times over the years. Actually to be honest I've felt bad on behalf of the admod team more often than the PT. I don't think anyone will dispute that the admod team makes mistakes and some things take frustratingly long. Yet at the same time what I see is a hardworking group of individuals doing a difficult and intense job without pay for the good of the community. People question the election system, but I think AVEN members are actually pretty good at picking sensible and hardworking admods. This is never to say that the admod team or the PT should be above criticism but I do understand the effect reading so much negativity can have on morale. This is especially true, in the admod team case, when it's things that if you do it one way, one group will hate that but if you do it another, another group will be unhappy.

The PT has generally been left out of the harshest criticism perhaps because we don't give out warnings or similar judgements, which people understandably get upset about if they think it unfair. I do get how it can be hurtful though to have it implied you are doing nothing when you are working hard on projects. At the same time it does mean we should be describing what we do better. And on the other side, a little understanding as opposed to judgement would help. I'm revealing more than I usually do in public but I got very upset about some of the comments on a project I tried to start several months ago now and it was one of the reasons it has stalled. On one level I want to kick myself and say "get over yourself - you have a job to do." Still it can be disheartening when you give your time (and often money) to the community and what you get is people imputing bad motives to you or insinuating you are doing nothing and are only in it for the power, the pretty name, etc etc.

I guess what I'm saying is that we're all human and some of us are stronger than others. I can take a certain amount but I don't know if I could have survived being an admod rather than PT all these years. And I'm *sure* I couldn't survive in politics, having my personal life dissected in public to that degree and having my motivations trashed. At the same time the freedom to do this appears to be absolutely necessary to hold those in power to account. Same principle applies here but to a lesser extent. I'm glad that criticism on AVEN does *not* reflect mainstream political discourse, especially as of recent in the West. But the point remains that public criticism does have its place and much of what it can accomplish is difficult to do in other ways.

Personally I wish some of the points in the thread in question had been raised in private first. OTOH maybe posting it in public will have a positive effect that entirely private criticism wouldn't have. Only time will tell. Whatever the outcome and whether the thread was made in the right way, I think the intent was to move the PT in a positive direction.

The other thing that really really helps me is reading positive comments. Criticism has its place but sometimes if you read Site Comments say you get the impression that everything is negative, doom and gloom. It was wonderful reading the AVEN incorporation thread; so many people excited that we have our NPO status. AVEN clearly means so much to many people despite the problems. I really really needed that, so thank you everyone who posted a positive comment on that thread (or any other similar).

Finish with a quote from the wonderful DS9 series that certainly summarises my perspective on power, and how it's changed given my years in the AVEN backroom.

[on representing the mainstream / government after years of being in the resistance]

Commander Sisko: Look, I understand you're used to sympathizing with the underdog. You spent your life fighting to overcome impossible odds, just like he's doing. But you have to realize something, Major: you're on the other side now. - Pretty uncomfortable, isn't it?

Major Kira: It's awful.

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WünderBâhr

I think people forget that something doesn't have to be a bad word or directly name someone to come across as insulting. Constructive isn't defined by intent, no matter how much one thinks they are trying to help. It is constructive if/when the discussion from it produces results in a mutually beneficial manner, thereby becoming useful and productive. Not because said opinion is deemed important or "accurate" by the one having that opinion. Otherwise, all criticisms would fall under "constructive", I think...

It's a shame that you feel the environment is not a good one to be in, at the moment; especially when you've been working hard toward those goals. Losing good people on the teams is rough, but you should definitely take care of you and look to your well-being. I'd say that, regardless of what I think about the other stuff. If stepping down is the best option for you, right now, then that's what needs to occur.

*pat, pats* Thanks for having volunteered your time as PT.

P.S. I second Michael's thought for reconsideration, but would still understand if you decide not to.

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Hi. I'm not sure if you are addressing the thread as a whole or not, but I will back up my own comments I have made.

I really hope that my replies wasn't read completely in a sarcastic and snarky tone. I'm not going to lie, there was a bit of shade, but I assure you, it was not directed to the PT. Besides, I didn't want to derail the thread. I really did express my concern. And personally, I only thought the thread was constructive because it really did seemed to express to want to improve what has been lacking. Though, I want to leave what is constructive or not out of this since I don't want to derail your thread.

I am very sorry if some of my posts came off as completely snarky and sarcastic through and through, that honestly really wasn't the case. I also hope that you reconsider this as well, but no matter what, in the end just do what you think is best. I wish you all the well.

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I don't know what's going on, but having met you and talked to you, Timewarp, I am confident you do/did your best with the best of intentions. I appreciate you and all of the other people who work for AVEN, often with too little thanks. (I know you can't be in it for the money! ha ha)

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Autumn Sunrise

Timewarp, I do appreciate your willingness to accept an important and demanding position on the Project Team, and all the time and hard work you put into it. I'm sorry you've decided to leave but I understand and accept your reasons.

Thank you for all you did!

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I could never be part of the PT - I don't have the flair or imagination and I respect those who do. Most of the PT's work is either behind the scenes or off AVEN itself and it can appear as though the PT aren't doing anything much; rather like a swan or an iceberg. I haven't a clue which thread has triggered this but michael has said you were doing a good job and he knows. Perhaps you coud take time to reconsider, talk to the other PT members (if you haven't already) THEY'RE the ones who will know how hard you've been working.

However, if you're determined to go ahead then I understand - as others have already said, you have to do what's best for you. Take care and enjoy AVEN as far as you can

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I haven't been following whatever thread set this off but I'm sorry to see you leave the PT, timewarp. I really admired your attitude to the role and thought you were doing a great job.

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Thanks everybody for the encouragement. With so many people telling me to reconsider there's no choice but to stay. There's a whole lot of really important stuff to do, and I should put that before personal sensitivities.

That doesn't change anything about my anger about what happened, but I guess I'll have to live with it. Though it would be much nicer if people consider carefully how they phrase criticism, and maybe ask a friendly question first, or even better offer help and/or advice.

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