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WhimsySkell

I would suggest finding a outlet for him that you're both comfortable with. I am fully asexual, and married to a heterosexual man with a normal sex drive. We have not had sex once. Part of what helps him cope is that I'm very comfortable with him looking at pornography (everything he likes is illustrated though, and doesn't involve real people) and taking care of himself. I'll even look at some of it with him and chat about the art styles (since I like to draw) and whether not I find them appealing.

Now, he doesn't masturbate around me (I'm pretty sure we'd both be pretty uncomfortable with that), but we're okay with him getting up from a conversation because he needs to do his business whenever something I did, or something he saw/thought, gets him in the mood.

Of course, that arrangement might not work for you two. One or both of you might find it uncomfortable. But finding something to take that stress off of him would not only help your relationship, but probably be physically good for him.

I hope that helps a bit.

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Hey peeps!

So I an very new to the site, and am looking for some peer guidance from those with similar experiences.

My personal situation is that I myself am an Asexual Pansexual (so i think thats.. gray-ace?) but I am definitely Aromantic.

My fiance Stephen is a Straight, Monogomous, normal guy who experiences all forms of attraction.

While we were dating I discovered I was Asexual and shared it with him and he was more than willing to remain chaste through our relationship and even through our eventual marriage.

I feel bad though because I can see his struggle with our lack of sexual intimacy really starting to effect him. hes more withdrawn and very distrusting and frustrated with me.

I know none of it is out of bad intent,but its hurting the both of us.

Often i contemplate leaving him because I feel he deserves someone who can fulfill his needs. I mention this to him and he comforts me that hes in this for romance and nothing more.

(despite me seeing it effecting him)

I'm so torn at what to do!

I've even tried not to be ace, but it repulsed me and i couldn't handle it.. Suggestions?

Honestly, if he's already in showing signs of hardship I think it's only going to be a matter of time until something breaks.

Good luck.

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If neither of you are happy -- him not being happy with foregoing sex, and you not happy with his obvious frustration -- you may have to consider ending the relationship. You are who you are, and he is who he is, and neither of you are likely to change. If you continue to tell him that he should consider leaving, he will probably continue to say No, he's not in the relationship for sex, and the mutual unhappiness will continue. Each of you has to make a decision for yourselves, not the other person.

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